Chapter 35 #2
‘And what does yours say, Firemage?’
He let out a deep breath. ‘My soul has not known, for a very long time, which way it leans.’ She could hear him swallow. ‘I know that Soraya believed in what Zey and many others believed. I know they all died for it.’
‘My mother and father, too,’ Ezer said.
‘But countless others I have known and loved … they fight for the Five. And I believe in them, too. That their souls are good, and their hearts and minds are in the right place.’
‘What if I don’t know if I’ve ever believed,’ Ezer said, ‘in anything?’
She swallowed a lump in her throat. To be so honest, so raw with someone … she’d never had anything like it in her life.
And later, if she failed, it could all be whisked away.
‘Later,’ Arawn whispered, as if he sensed her thoughts. ‘You’ll see with your own eyes. And … you’ll make it across. You’ll find the Acolyte.’
‘And what if what I find isn’t what we thought?’ Ezer asked. ‘What if the darkness is really the light? What if Lordach was wrong about the Five, all along?’
‘Then you’ll have to make it back to me,’ Arawn whispered. ‘So, we can face the truth together.’
She nodded.
And then she kissed his neck, and he leaned into it, and before she knew it, they were intertwined again, and the sun was rising beyond the darkness, and her fate was barreling towards her.
And she didn’t want time to press on.
But it did.
It was the first day of Realmbreak.
When the door to the catacombs opened, Kinlear found Ezer there alone, standing by the door to Six’s cage while the raphon finished a meal of bleeding meat. Like nothing had ever gone on, in the wee hours of morning, between a Minder and a Firemage.
‘Ezer.’
She spun as more footsteps sounded, and Izill stepped into the torchlight.
‘She insisted,’ Kinlear said with a small smile. ‘She is quite terrifying, despite her size. I swear, the two of you could have been sisters.’
Ezer rushed forward and pulled Izill into a hug.
‘You’ll do this,’ Izill said against her. ‘And then you will come home. We’ll spend far too long in the library together, eating chocolate and drinking coffee and sharing stories and—’ Her voice broke, and when Ezer pulled away, Izill was crying.
‘Don’t do that,’ Ezer said. ‘It will make me cry, too.’
Izill nodded. And then she surprised Ezer by walking right up to the bars of Six’s cage. Anyone else would have balked, screamed at the sight of the Acolyte’s beast. But Izill wrapped her fingers around the bars and said, ‘Keep her safe, Six. Or you will have me to deal with upon your return.’
The raphon lowered her head in acceptance and began to purr.
It was not a grand exit, with people gathering on the cliffside to watch them go.
There was only the King and Queen, the Masters and Arawn.
The snow fell gently from the sky. The wind whistled past her ears and for the first time … it was only the wind.
No whisper.
No voice upon it, guiding her in what was to come.
‘Today marks the first of Realmbreak,’ the King said, as they stopped before him. ‘You have until the third day before night returns. The godsblessing, Kinlear … you’ll want to make it back before that final hour.’
‘I know,’ Kinlear said.
‘And I …’ His father’s milky eyes shone. ‘I may no longer be here.’
Ezer’s stomach sank to her toes.
But Kinlear showed not a hint of emotion.
‘Kinlear.’ The Queen suddenly stepped up.
She placed a tentative hand on his cheek. She frowned, disappointed in the son that would never wear the Lordachian crown. Kinlear was doomed for death no matter what the outcome was. It was the only reason they’d sent him … instead of Arawn. Instead of any other warrior.
‘I will never know why the gods willed you for this,’ the Queen said. ‘But if it must be so … do not fail. Do not squander your only chance at greatness.’
A spike of rage went through Ezer.
But Kinlear only chuckled, like the insult rolled off his shoulders. ‘I suppose that’s as heartwarming a goodbye as you’re capable of giving, Mother. I’ll carry it with me to the other side.’
Ezer hated them all suddenly.
She hated the Masters for how they punished with penance, showing no mercy for a single slip-up … but especially the King and the Queen. Because Kinlear was their son. And in their eyes … he was expendable.
He was a lamb already headed for slaughter, so they were okay with sacrificing him early.
Six shielded her as she shifted, so that she and Ezer stood alone while the others said their goodbyes. And in that fleeting moment of solitude … Arawn stepped up beside her to say goodbye.
No one noticed them as he placed his hand on her cheek. His fingertips ran gently across her scars as he kissed her and whispered, ‘Ezer. Come back to me.’
‘I will,’ she said.
‘Promise me.’
And as she pulled away, suddenly she understood why some people lied to the ones they loved.
It was wrong and it made her blood run cold and her insides twist, but she was certain it would be better for him.
Better for the moments they’d shared and the hope she wanted to leave him with, so she looked into his eyes, and told him, ‘I promise.’
His smile made the lie hurt less.
She turned away and climbed onto Six’s back, where Kinlear already sat waiting. He frowned down at them, like he’d seen the kiss. Like he knew what had transpired between them in the wee hours of morning. He wrapped his arms around her middle, holding her closer than normal.
‘Goodbye, Brother,’ Kinlear said down to Arawn. ‘Don’t worry. I’ll take care of her. The way no one did for Soraya.’
The look of pain on Arawn’s face nearly had her climbing back down to him. Instead, Ezer turned Six away. Before she could stop herself, she clicked her teeth and urged Six into a run.
The fear chased her like a hungry wolf, and it sounded like her uncle’s voice.
You will fail.
You will die the moment you cross over that border, Little Bird.
The sky is a dangerous place for a girl without wings.
But she’d found her wings.
They were dark and wondrous and safe, and as Six reached the cliff’s edge and leapt into the waiting sky …
Ezer did not close her eyes.
She wanted to see it, wanted to taste it and dive headfirst into the fear that had followed her all the days of her life.
She should hate her uncle for the choices he made, the sins he’d committed in the name of protection. But for all the things Ervos had said and done that were wrong … there was one thing he was right about, and Ezer still believed it in her bones.
As she stared at the snow-covered ground as it closed in beyond the point of Six’s scarred beak, Ezer thought …
Do it afraid.
And she did.
For herself, she did.