E I G H T I like you.
S E V E N: First Date.
Hacker’s POV
I was so freaking nervous. Ever since she and I had been texting, I’d been talking to Hades and Prez about my feelings.
Why I felt the need to protect her and why I wanted to hug her.
They also got Doc to do a check-up on me.
He figured out why I had heart palpitations when I thought of her or looked at her pictures.
Turns out, I liked her.
And tonight, I was going to FaceTime her.
For the first time. She lived in North Carolina with her kiddo, and I lived in Ohio.
So, this was the best I could do for now.
Until I could work up the nerve to have her come visit, or me go visit her.
If she was ready for that. I think I’d prefer her coming here first, so if I had trouble talking to her or her son, or had a panic attack.
At least if we were here, my brothers would be there to help me.
I mean…they wouldn’t be that close if I were in North Carolina.
“You okay, man?” Hades asked, looking a little concerned.
“Yeah. Just nervous,” I said, trying to smooth my hair down. I may be a white guy, but I had a fro like no other. My hair was in tight ringlets that never cooperated a day in their lives.
“Can I help?” He asked, slowly moving toward me, hands up. I took a deep breath, handing him a brush. I started counting backward from five. Once I opened my eyes, I saw he was behind me, hands still up, a comb in one hand.
“What do you want me to do?” I asked.
“Wet your hair again. I’m gonna use some of the gel Prez has. You know his shit is always smoothed back and solid like a rock.” He chuckled at me. A few seconds later, there was a knock at the door. Before it opened, I could feel myself involuntarily freeze for a second.
“Figured you guys might need some hair gel for that fro! First dates mean making good first impressions.” Prez came around the corner, holding the gel, hair spray, and a comb.
We all cracked up because every time the guys came over to my room, it was mainly to help me manage my mane before any kind of BBQ or event with other clubs.
“Can we get you all good-looking to meet this girl? Where are you guys going?”
“We’re um…” I cleared my throat as they started brushing through my wet hair, “We’re actually just doing a FaceTime call.” I felt myself blush, looking down at the sink, too afraid to look in the mirror to see what they thought of that. When they didn’t say anything, I continued rambling.
“She lives in North Carolina. You guys know how I help out that PI, right?” They grunted, and I chose to look up in the mirror just in time to see them nodding as they slowly combed through all the fuss from the fro.
“Well, she was one of the cases that needed help. She’s got a son, eight, and, anyway, her husband was cheating on her with his boss for four years. ”
“Damn.”
“What a piece of shit.”
They both commented at the same time. I went on, “So I was looking up shit on him, and I wanted to see who he was cheating on. And…her picture…she’s just…
wow. Her name definitely matched her. Her name’s Raven, and she’s got this beautiful, dark hair.
And her eyes? Her eyes are so pretty.” They were both snickering under their breath at me.
“So, you’re in love with her?” Hades asked me. I thought about it for a moment, sorting through all my thoughts and weird things I’d been feeling over the last few weeks, especially while getting to know each other. Then it hit me. What he said.
“Wait. You guys think I love her?” I looked up at them, alarmed. They paused styling my hair because slicking it back was proving to be a two-man job. Hopefully, it would get easier the more we did it. Maybe after a haircut, too. I had to learn too.
“Does your heart flutter when you think about her? Do you find yourself unable to concentrate on other things?” Hades asked, and I already knew where he was going with this.
“Do you want to protect her? Do anything to see her smile? What about her laugh? Does it feel like everything is right in the world when you hear it?” Prez asked. I just looked at the two of them in the mirror, looking back at me.
“I think I might know more concretely after the call tonight. Could you guys come back to talk about it around, say, eleven? If it's not too late?” I needed to talk to someone who’d been there, and these two had long-lasting, loving relationships with kids.
I wanted that someday. I needed advice from guys who’d been there. This was all new territory for me.
“As long as Willow and the kids are good.”
“Same with Indie and our herd.”
I smiled, letting out a breath of relief, thanking them. They really were two of the best guys out there. I hope this call goes well. The guys helped me finish getting ready, and just as they were about to leave, the phone dinged.
Raven : All ready. Are you?
Hacker : Yes. I’ll call you in two minutes. Couple of my buddies stopped by my room to wish me luck on my first date.
Raven : Aw, that’s cute! It’s my first date after the divorce.
Hacker : It’s my first date.
Raven: Wait, you mean like an actual first date? Like…first date? Ever?
I face-palmed. I was thirty-three years old and going on my first date. And it was over the fucking phone. On a FaceTime call. I was an emotionally stunted idiot.
“You got his man.”
“Don’t worry. She’ll love you.”
Looking through my fingers, both of them had their fists out to me.
“WAIT!” I heard from down the hall. Looking, I saw Bullet running up to my room.
“You got this. She’s gonna love you. If not? She’s. Crazy.” He huffed, putting his hands on his knees, breathing hard. “Sorry. Ran. Parking lot.” He huffed, taking a long inhale, “Boots,” he puffed out, pointing at his steel toes. Yeah. Running was extra hard in those. He put his fist up.
“Good luck, man.” I fist bumped all three of them, nodding and shutting my door as they walked out, heading to their respective homes.
Taking a deep breath, I was ready. I picked up my laptop, moving to the couch.
I hit the call on FaceTime and waited for her to answer.
I could feel my heart rate tick up, and I was second-guessing everything.
I was about to hang up when her screen came alive, and the call connected.
I’d waited so long, and now…here she was.
Her face, live for me, for the first time… and I swear. My heart fucking stopped.
She said hi, and it was like angels sang.
I could feel my face turning as red as a tomato, earning a giggle from her, and I blushed harder.
My fucking ears were red as I stared with my jaw on the floor at the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen.
I could feel myself growing stiff. I set the laptop down on my coffee table. I needed a minute.
“Do you want me to call you back?” Peeking through my fingers from where my head rested in my hands, I couldn’t help my blush again. She was so perfect.
“No,” my voice slightly strained as I tried to calm myself down. She both calmed and excited me, “I like talking to you. I’m sorry…I’ve never…I’ve never done this before.” She raised an eyebrow.
“Never…talked to a girl?” I fidgeted, looking down and shaking my head. This was embarrassing as…everything. Admitting I’d never even been able to have a conversation with a woman at my age. I’m thirty-three and never even talked to a woman.
“You’re the first one. I um...” I cleared my throat; I could do this. There was nothing to be ashamed of. It wasn’t my fault. My voice came out stronger.
“I had a really fucked up childhood. My mom…was horrible to me. In a nutshell, she let horrible things happen to me. I’m not ready to tell you all that, and I don’t think you’re ready to hear it.
But it caused some really deep trauma in me that I’ve been working on for years, because I wanted to know what it was like to be normal and live among other people without being afraid.
I’ve come a really long way. Though I still have a long way to go,” I chanced looking at her, and she looked sad, but proud.
“That sounds like a lot of crap to go through at such a young age. I’m sorry you didn’t have a mother who would protect you.
” She just looked sad for me. It didn’t look like pity, it looked like sadness, with a touch of something else.
Pride? “But that’s awesome that you recognized you needed help and had a support system to get that for you. That’s awesome.”
“Therapy sounds like it's working for you, too.” She smiled at me. She smiled . At something I said!
“It is. I’m finally letting go of the anger and bitterness toward Matthew and his failure as Ryder's dad. I’ve been grieving the life I thought I was going to have for the last couple of weeks, and I can say that it’s helping me move on from him.
It’s been hard, but I’m seeing all the red flags where we both dropped the ball.
But I’m also starting to see a new future, and it’s starting to take a much different shape. ”
“Are you happy with the shape it’s taking?” I asked. Because the guys said asking questions about what she was talking about, and listening intently to what she said, was incredibly important. I was thankful that she couldn’t see the notepad I had where I was writing down little bits about her.
“Yes,” she smiled, looking right into my eyes. Like she was trying to tell me something. I felt my mouth twitch up into something that looked almost like a smile.
I think I’m in love .