Chapter 30 Hemlocke
Hemlocke
It’s been almost a week since we moved into Malivore, and tonight is the full moon I’ve been waiting for with every fiber of my being.
My stallion has been yelling at me relentlessly to complete the bond.
It’s a constant drumming in my skull that grows louder with each passing hour.
The anticipation is so intense that I can barely think straight—my hands shake when I try to hold anything, and food tastes like ash in my mouth.
I hate the fact that I’ve had to make my mate wait so long—the guilt gnaws at me like hunger.
But underneath the guilt runs a deeper fear, one that keeps me awake at night staring at the ceiling.
What if my stallion overwhelms my human consciousness?
What if the ancient instincts take over completely and I hurt her?
The thought sends ice through my veins, making my pink eyes burn with the sting of unshed tears.
My older brothers warned me about this when they explained the traditions.
“The stallion wants what it wants,” Marcus had said, his own pink eyes serious with memory.
“Control slips away like water through your fingers.” Three of my four brothers still haven’t found their mates, despite being older and supposedly wiser.
They watch me with a mixture of envy and concern that makes my chest tight with guilt.
How did I get so lucky?
Out of all of us, I’m the youngest, barely twenty-two, and yet I found her.
Not just any female, but a dragon princess—someone so far above my station that it should be impossible.
My parents can barely believe it even now, weeks after meeting her.
Sometimes I wake up convinced it’s all been an elaborate dream.
I feel like I’ve been on autopilot all day, going through the motions while my thoughts keep drifting to tonight.
The anticipation is so intense it’s making my hands shake and my pink eyes burn with exhaustion from lack of proper sleep.
Every time I close my eyes, I see flashes of what could go wrong—my stallion breaking free of my control.
My armored hooves striking her delicate skin, my massive weight crushing her smaller human form.
The logical part of my mind knows she’s stronger than she looks, knows her dragon could emerge if I truly lost control. But the terrified part of me—the part that loves her more than my own life can’t stop imagining all the ways I could destroy the most precious thing in my existence.
“Focus on the bond,” my father had advised when I confessed my fears to him. “The mate bond will guide your stallion, keep him centered on protection rather than domination.” Easy words, but they don’t quiet the anxiety clawing at my chest like a living thing.
“You’ve been distracted all day,” Leander observes, bumping my shoulder with his and knocking me back to reality. The contact grounds me momentarily, pulling me from my spiraling thoughts.
“You could say that.” A heavy sigh escapes my lips as I look up at the position of the sun in the sky, calculating how many more hours I have to endure this torment.
“The full moon is tonight,” Leander says with a knowing smirk that tells me he remembers his own experience. He knows I’ve had to wait almost two weeks to fully bond my mate, and the understanding in his eyes offers some comfort.
“Well aware. My stallion has been tearing my insides apart all day.” I look up at the sun’s position again, squinting against the bright light. “I swear, time is moving so much slower today.” The words come out strained, and I look over at Leander as he chuckles with sympathy.
“I felt the same way,” Abraxis says as he emerges from the stables, his boots crunching against the gravel path.
The scent of hay and horses clings to his clothes, mixing with the afternoon breeze.
“I knew Mina was mine when she hatched. My mother and I kept the secret all the way up to the winter formal. Granted, in hindsight, it wasn’t my most brilliant plan.
” He kicks several loose rocks, sending them skittering across the path with sharp clicks.
“It really wasn’t. Mina was mad at all of us for hiding what Abraxis was to her,” Leander says, resting a comforting hand on Abraxis’s shoulder. The gesture speaks of years of friendship and shared mistakes. “You’re lucky in the sense that she knows who and what you are to her.”
“True,” Abraxis agrees as we walk toward the riding ring, our footsteps creating a rhythm against the packed earth. “The uncertainty is the worst part.”
As we approach the ring, I see her—Raven riding a bay warhorse with a fluid grace that takes my breath away.
She’s talking to the massive animal the same way she would speak to one of us, her voice carrying genuine respect and affection.
Then I notice something remarkable: she doesn’t have a bridle on the horse, yet it’s responding to her every request with perfect cooperation.
When she sees us approaching, she turns the horse toward us with a gentle shift of her weight and meets us at the wooden fence. The afternoon sun catches the highlights in her black hair, making it shine like polished obsidian.
“How’s everyone doing?” Raven asks with a radiant smile as she pets the war horse’s neck, her fingers moving through the coarse mane with practiced ease.
‘Your nest daughter is very kind,’ Gypsy says to Leander, her voice carrying warmth and gratitude. ‘She treats me like an equal.’ The mare tosses her head and whinnies, the sound musical in the afternoon air.
“You’re no less than I am. Just because not everyone understands you doesn’t make you any less than they are,” Raven says with passionate conviction, then suddenly freezes. She looks up with wide eyes and goes pale as parchment, realizing what she’s just revealed.
“You understood her?” Abraxis asks incredulously, his scarred face showing complete shock.
Raven takes a defensive stance that reminds me of Thauglor when he’s irritated—wings slightly flared, chin raised, ready for battle.
“I’ve developed my wyrm gift already. I can understand other species’ languages.
” The way she spits out the words and her wings flare wider tells me his surprise has made her angry.
“I don’t even have my wyrm gift yet,” Abraxis says with obvious frustration, and I watch Raven bite her bottom lip, clearly holding back whatever sharp retort was on the tip of her tongue.
“I don’t know what to tell you about that, Dad,” she says diplomatically, though her tone suggests that wasn’t her first choice of words.
‘Can I go to the pasture if you’re done?’ Gypsy turns her elegant head to look at Raven with patient eyes.
“Yes, of course. I’m sorry for holding you up.” Raven slides off the mare’s back with graceful ease and removes the saddle and pad, handing them to Leander before walking with Gypsy to the back gate. She opens it carefully, ensuring the mare can pass safely into the field.
With two powerful flaps of her magnificent wings, Raven is back on our side of the riding ring, landing with barely a sound.
“It’s interesting to see the three of you here at once.
Leander and Hemlocke are usually here to help with the horses.
What brings you here, Abraxis?” She tilts her head in a gesture that’s pure Thauglor, especially when the large claws at the top of her wings click impatiently against each other.
“Why are you moving Lily into the suite with you and your mates?” Abraxis asks bluntly, and I do a double take at his confrontational tone.
“My sister is unmated with a cursed egg. She’s safer with me than alone,” Raven stands her ground, staring at her nest father with unwavering confidence.
“When she takes a mate, that’s not in an egg, she can do what she pleases.
” She smirks while looking at Abraxis, and a soft chuckle escapes her lips—a sound that carries both amusement and warning.
“Mom likes the idea. I guess you can go argue the point with her. Whatever Mom decides, I’ll accept. ”
Abraxis doesn’t bother saying another word. Instead, he takes flight with powerful wing beats, heading toward Shadowcarve with obvious frustration radiating from his retreating form.
Leander starts a slow clap, the sound echoing across the ring. “Bravo. You handled him like your mom does.”
“It feels wrong talking to him like that, but he gets jealous and controlling with Lily, and she doesn’t like it,” Raven says, looking down at the ground with obvious discomfort before meeting our eyes again.
“Like he gets with Mom.” Her tone drops to something more vulnerable, and she looks directly at me.
I nod slowly, understanding the complexity of family dynamics, and she moves to dive into my arms without hesitation.
Here’s this fierce dragoness—someone who could level buildings with her breath weapon—and she’s seeking me out for comfort.
I kiss the crown of her head, breathing in her familiar scent of sea salt and jasmine, and hold her tight while being careful of her delicate wing joints.
Raven purrs, the sound vibrating through both our bodies where they’re pressed together. Leander waves with understanding and walks away silently, leaving me alone with my mate.
“Let’s go out tonight,” I suggest, my voice rougher than intended.
She pulls back slowly and smiles up at me, her sapphire eyes bright with mischief. “Nope, tonight is the full moon.” Her eyes flash to her dragon’s sapphire gaze, and she smiles with anticipation that makes my heart race.
“That it is. I was trying to be romantic about it,” I admit with a smile, brushing a rogue lock of silky hair away from her face. The strands feel like liquid obsidian between my fingers.
“Oh, okay. Well, romance away then.” She bounces up on her toes and kisses my lips sweetly, the contact sending warmth racing through my entire body.