Ravished River (Men of Mercy #6)

Chapter 1

Camp Eagle Claw, classified location Afghanistan…

The Afghanistan desert would have made the devil himself sweat, not that the devil was brave enough to set up headquarters in this godforsaken land. Only the United States Special Forces would be sick enough to pick the meanest valley in the Middle East as its home away from home.

Even the insects were AWOL. The only creatures crawling across the sand were the death dealers – scorpions, snakes and Special Forces.

Operative Aaron Speirs, assistant medical sergeant and weapons expert, bent over and gripped the metal bar in front of him, working on his fourth set of dead lifts in the spotted shade provided by the camo net over Task Force Scorpions, TF-S, camp.

Up, down. Three hundred ninety-five pounds, nearly twice his bodyweight an extreme amount guaranteed to give him arthritis by retirement but he wasn't worried about that since most men in the Teams didn't live to see their fiftieth birthday.

Sweat ran in rivulets down his shirtless chest, dropped to the scorched earth with a sizzle and evaporated instantly.

Up, down. One more round of lifts and he might fall out from weariness, which was exactly what he intended.

He couldn't stop thinking about Celine Latimer with her perfect platinum hair and soulful eyes. He couldn’t forget the taste of her strawberry flavored lip gloss or the fact that it was his fault she’d been kidnapped.

Up, down. Another lift. Aaron's exhausted muscles screamed in protest, but he kept moving, ignoring the pain.

Why had he turned her away?

Because he knew what would happen if he let himself care about her – he’d lose her just like he’d lost his mother.

He yanked the weight up hard. How many people had to die before he learned his lesson?

He’d buried his mom ten years ago, someone else had dug the grave but he’d put her there. The memories crashed into him. Her blank stare when he’d found her on the bathroom floor, blood flooding from her wrists. Dammit, how could he have been so blind? If only he’d been paying closer attention…

Aaron ground his teeth together and held the ungodly weight high, fighting the cold seeping into his chest. But no matter how hard he tried to resist another image flashed. Shane falling to his death in that ambush, his scream cut off when he hit the ground.

Celine.

The hurt in her eyes when he’d cold shouldered her…all because he couldn’t face the fact he’d been unable to hold his vow to never do to a woman what his father did to his mother.

Now they were all gone. Guilt bred and multiplied in him, taking over everything else.

“Dammit, Speirs, drop the weight before you crush your spine.” Ethan Slade, communications sergeant and Aaron’s best friend, strained under the weight of his bench press five feet away.

Aaron blinked the blinding brightness of the desert into focus, shoved the memories down and turned to Ethan with a blank expression.

Ethan racked his weight and shot upright. “Don’t give me that fucking look. I know exactly what you’re thinking.”

Aaron let the weight crash to the ground, ignored the sweat stinging his eyes and reached for the barbell again. “Giving up already?”

He had no intention of letting Ethan go at another one of his amateur counseling sessions.

Ethan ignored the barb and mopped the moisture from his face with a nearby towel. “You need to ease up, give yourself a break.”

“Celine’s not getting a break. Caroline’s not getting a break.” That dammed thought crept into his nightmares every single night.

“You drowning in guilt won’t save them either.” Ethan tossed the towel on the bench and stood.

He stood, pulling the bar up with him. “Who said anything about guilt? I’m out for revenge. Cold and simple. Guilt hasn’t got anything to do with it.”

Ethan strode to Aaron’s gym bag and yanked out Aaron’s BDU jacket. “Really?” He ripped open the front pocket and pulled out two photos. “Then why do you carry their pictures over your heart?”

Ethan held the pictures up right in Aaron’s line of vision. His mom’s sad smile mocked him. The one screen shot he’d taken with Celine taunted him.

“Fuck you.”

Those pictures were the ghosts that haunted him daily for his fuck up.

Ethan didn’t relent, instead he shoved their faces closer. “You couldn’t have done anything to stop it, bro. She wanted to go after your dad left.”

His dad didn’t leave. He died. He took his thousandth fucking mission, ground his mother’s heart into their gravel driveway and never came home.

A growl built in his throat. “Drop it.”

“Stop blaming yourself.” Ethan’s voice dropped and he let the photo’s fall into Aaron’s bag. “Your mother wasn’t your fault back then and Celine’s not your fault now.”

Aaron slowly lowered the weight this time, allowing his comment to pass without reaction.

His teammate was wrong on both counts. He’d seen the clues in his mom.

She’d started with the drinking first and then the anti-depressants.

And then he’d gone and done exactly what his dad had done before he was killed in action, he’d left.

Just like he would always do.

He’d devoted his life to the Teams. His country. His brothers in arms.

A life in the special forces was not a life for a relationship. His firsthand experience with the disaster of his parents failed attempt was enough to keep him forever away from giving his heart to any woman other than the Statue of Liberty.

He was man enough to admit that he’d been week with Celine.

She’d been the first woman who’d ever tempted him from his duties.

He’d actually thought about more than a one night stand with her – he’d envisioned a future together.

And because he’d given into that weakness, she’d been taken by the one man who could do the most damage.

Ethan would never understand, he had his woman. Kate was safe and sound, waiting on him to return home. At least until she wasn’t. “Let it go.”

“Not until you do.” Ethan faced off with him, hands balled into fists at his side.

Aaron straightened, for one second letting the pain show in his expression. “When Kate dies because of you, come talk to me about letting go.”

Ethan threw his hands up in the air and stomped over to the weight bench. “Your mom’s gone, man. Celine’s not. You’ve still got a chance.”

“Not if I don’t find her.” Not even then. He hadn’t learned before but he had now. Fate had given him one chance – she wouldn’t allow another one. He’d find Celine, deliver her safely home and walk the hell away before he did more damage than he’d already done.

Ethan shot him a look of quiet anger. “We.”

“What?”

“We will find them. You’re not the only one on this team.

We were all there when Celine and Caroline were kidnapped, in case you’ve forgotten.

” Ethan fell back on the bench and lifted the barbell straight over his chest with a grunt.

“If you aren’t willing to let go of the guilt, at least realize you don’t have the corner market on it. ”

Aaron stared at him, testing his friend’s words, allowing them to roll around in his mind.

Maybe with Shane, their teammate, he wasn’t alone in the feeling.

They’d all fell for the ambush – set up by their very own CIA liaison.

TF-S had moved in without question to motivation and still hadn’t realized they’d snuck right into a trap until they were right in the middle of a shit storm of combatants.

What about Celine? Could he share the blame of her kidnapping with them?

Hell, no he couldn’t. He hadn’t told Ethan about sleeping with her or about the fact he’d left his post because he couldn’t stay away from her.

Only their commander, Colonel Grey, knew that he’d given in to the insurmountable temptation of Celine Latimer.

He’d broken his vow to his mother that he’d never put a woman through her hell in one scorching night of passion that had permanently seared his soul.

Ethan snorted. “You’re skull’s as thick as that metal bar.”

Aaron grunted gratefully at Ethan’s change in conversation. His limit for talking about his failures had been reached a week ago. “Can’t argue that.”

“I can’t believe it.”

“What?”

“You agreed with me. What’s that – like the second time since we’ve been over here?” Ethan said.

“Quit with the chick talk and start talking about how we are going to gut J and I’ll talk all day.” Aaron emphasized the we just for Ethan’s benefit.

He could feel Ethan rolling his eyes. “I get it. No more talking about anything but the mission.”

“And killing Mr. J.,” Aaron finished for him.

“We’ll find them. We’ve already narrowed their location down to this area of the desert.”

“You mean this hundred-square mile radius of ISA loyalists protecting our old liaison? Mr. J wants nothing more than to make us pay.”

The Islamic State of Afghanistan, the lead terrorist organization in the world, along with the help of Mr. J, was responsible for kidnapping Caroline Cotter during her high-profile wedding to General Rainer.

A relationship crafted in the hallways of JSOC themselves and a bargain struck between the senator in command of JSOC and his four-star General.

It was a match made in Department of Defense, DOD, heaven.

Senator Cotter would take complete control of JSOC with the General at his side, carrying out his tasks. “You get the feeling the whole wedding was orchestrated by Mr. J?”

Task Force Scorpion’s former CIA liaison turned traitor. Caroline Cotter had been the bait to seal the deal and Celine Latimer had been collateral damage.

Ethan said, “Or it was a deal Mr. J couldn’t afford to allow to go down.”

Aaron paused mid-air. “You think he wanted to stop it?”

Ethan shrugged and racked his bar. “Makes sense, why else kidnap her before the wedding could take place?”

“You talk to the commander about this?”

“Yeah. He said he’d started kinda thinking the same thing. But without proof, the girls or J, we won’t know anything for sure.”