Chapter 13 #3
“It’s not flattery.” I softened my voice. “It’s admiration.”
Theo froze, his hand stilling on the zipper of his bag. “Look, Max wants to talk to me, probably about scheduling or arrangement tweaks. You can head back if you want.”
I tilted my head. “You sure?”
“Positive.”
I nodded. “Okay. I’ll see you at the flat. And Theo?”
Theo’s gaze lingered, unreadable. “Yes?”
“Thank you for letting me be here tonight. I loved watching you do what you love.”
Theo looked away, but the faintest flush rose along his neck. “Thanks for coming.”
I pulled on my jacket. “Don’t stay out too late,” I said with a smile.
Theo snorted. “That’s usually my line.”
“Maybe I’m learning from you.”
I left before I could say anything more dangerous.
Outside, Soho was slick with rain again, the neon bleeding into puddles. The air smelled of smoke and wet pavement, alive with the noise of the city.
I slipped my hands into my pockets, smiling to myself as I turned toward the Tube station.
I knew Theo would follow later, after whatever talk Max had planned.
But for now, I carried the warmth of the evening with me.
What stayed with me was the laughter, the music, and the quiet gratitude in Theo’s voice.
If this is what beginning feels like, I’ll take it.
Theo
Max sat on a chair, smirking in a way that made my stomach tighten on instinct.
“So what do we need to discuss? Because I thought it went well.”
Max tilted his head. “Let’s talk about that look you’ve been wearing most of the night.”
Fuck.
“What look?”
“The one you get when you’re trying to pretend your life isn’t on fire.”
I exhaled through my nose. “You’re imagining things.”
“Am I?” Max leaned forwards, elbows on his knees. “I’ve seen you distracted before, but not like this. Tonight you missed two cues, and I got the distinct feeling that while your body was among us, your mind wasn’t. So, either you’re finally having a breakdown, or—”
“Max.”
“—someone’s gotten under your skin.”
I gave him a flat stare. “I’m not discussing this.”
“Then I’ll discuss it for you.” Max grinned. “He’s cute, by the way.”
I blinked. “Who?”
“Oh, please. Cameron. The way you look at him? I’m amazed the windows don’t steam up.”
I tightened my jaw. “It’s not like that.”
Tell me I wasn’t that obvious.
“It’s exactly like that.” Max’s grin grew downright wicked. “You just don’t want it to be.”
I rubbed a hand over my face, the weight of the day pressing down again. “He’s Gary’s brother.”
“Yeah, you’ve mentioned that part,” Max said gently. “Several times.”
“And he’s—” I stopped, searching for the right phrasing. “He’s younger than I am. He’s—”
“—an adult,” Max cut in. “Who adores you. Who, by the way, might turn out to be the best thing that’s happened to you in a long time.”
I looked away. I hated it when Max pushed, usually because he saw what I was trying to keep hidden. “You don’t understand.”
“I understand plenty.”
I took a breath, then let it out slowly. “He’s gay.”
For a moment Max said nothing but simply studied me. When the scrutiny grew too much, I focused on the floor.
“I didn’t know,” Max said finally.
“Neither did I,” I murmured. “Not for sure. And then we talked.”
Max leaned back, the teasing mood fled. “I guess that changes things for you.”
I nodded once. “Oh yeah. It makes everything harder.”
“Or simpler,” Max countered. “Depending on how you look at it.”
I gave a humourless laugh. “You think this is simple?”
“I think you’ve spent so long convincing yourself that control equals safety, you’ve forgotten what living feels like.” Max softened his tone. “He’s not a mistake, Theo. He’s a choice.”
I looked at him then, my eyes tired. “You make it sound so easy.”
“It isn’t,” Max said. “But it’s real. And real’s better than perfect.”
Outside, a siren wailed in the distance, fading into the hum of the city. I wondered if Cameron was home yet.
“Admit you want him. That would be a real breakthrough.”
“It doesn’t matter if I do. I can’t risk it,” I said finally. “If Gary ever found out—”
“Who the fuck cares what Gary thinks? It’s not his life. And so what if he’s pissed?” Max interjected. “He’ll get over it, because a, his brother will be happy and b, you’re not the villain you think you are.”
I shook his head. “You don’t know Gary.”
“I don’t need to.” Max’s smile returned, faint but real. “I know you. And I know you’re falling for him. You can spend the rest of your life pretending you’re steadying yourself, or you can admit you’re already on the ground.”
I gave a slow, reluctant smile of my own. “You sound disgustingly poetic tonight.”
“I’m drunk on good singing and righteous friendship.” Max smiled. “A dangerous combination.” He smirked. “Debrief over. Now let’s get out of here.”
I huffed a laugh. “You’re impossible.”
“I prefer irreplaceable.”
I followed him out into the Soho night, the air damp and electric. As we stepped onto the slick pavement, I found myself glancing west, towards Hammersmith.
Towards home.
Max caught the look and grinned. “He’s still going to be there, you know.”
“I know,” I said quietly.
“Then go and find him.”