Chapter 13
THIRTEEN
It’s been several days with my collar translator off. To say I am depressed is an understatement. Daddy has tried talking to me in his soothing and gentle voice, but I can’t understand anything.
Daddy told me Chale wanted to talk to me after the whole incident, before he turned off the translator. He tried to talk me out of it, but I didn’t want to as I was mad at him. But Chale didn’t deserve that. He wanted to know more about me since he is getting his own girl very soon.
Who will it be?
I push the thought to the back of my mind. I don’t want to think about who is going to be the next victim of this.
Daddy continues to feed me and hold me close, talking calmly to me. I can hear the begging in his voice, but I don’t understand a word. He has tried to turn my translator back on, but I shake my head and wrap my hands around it.
But each time I do it, my heart breaks even more.
I feel so lost.
Tears pool in my eyes as I stare at the ceiling.
Daddy hasn’t put me in the kennel since I asked to have the translator turned off—more like yelled for him to do it.
He keeps me in his bed, close to him at all times.
I don’t know if he’s worried I’m going to do something, or maybe he’s waiting for me to tell him I want the translator back on.
He has let me wear a shirt and diaper every single day, changing me regularly when I reluctantly use it. He’s wrapped me in a blanket several times so I stay warm since I can’t seem to hold the heat in my body.
He’s been nothing but caring, talking to me even though he knows I can’t understand him. For all I know, he could be saying nasty things about me, but I know from just the way he is talking that he isn’t. It’s too soft, and a hint of worry laces every single word.
Daddy walks back into the living room, and we make eye contact. I quickly flick my gaze away, knowing that if we look at each other for too long, I am going to be a crying mess. I haven’t had a moment to myself since everything happened, and I haven’t had time to process the emotions. Will I ever?
Daddy kneels in front of me and cups my cheeks. I keep my eyes closed so I don’t have to look at him, but when he talks to me gently, almost like he is cooing at me, I open my eyes and gaze right at him.
He gives me a small sad smile and says something, and before I know it, I’m sobbing, my whole body shaking as I let out all my emotions. He pulls me into his embrace, holding me tightly while rocking back and forth.
Him touching me makes me cry even harder. I don’t feel any anger coming from him as he holds me. Daddy moves his hand and touches my collar, but I don’t pay any attention to it as I continue to sob into his chest.
“I’ve got you,” he whispers in my ear. “Everything is going to be okay. Let it all out.”
And that’s exactly what I do. I let every emotion out. I don’t know how long we sit there with me crying in his arms, but Daddy continues to whisper sweet nothings in my ear as he rocks us back and forth. My tears slowly start to slow, but Daddy doesn’t move or attempt to let me go.
“Please, Little companion.” Daddy’s voice breaks. “Don’t tell me to turn your translator off. Please talk to me. I want to hear your sweet voice again. I want to hear you giggle and see you smile. I don’t like seeing you all sad and not motivated to do anything.”
“I don’t want you to turn it off,” I whisper, burying my face in his neck and holding on tight.
Daddy’s whole body relaxes as he plops onto the couch and holds me even closer than he did before. We just sit there, relaxing with each other after everything that happened.
“I’m so glad you don’t want me to turn it off again,” he gently says. “I don’t think I could have survived another day.”
“Me too,” I mumble and grip onto his shirt.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks.
I suck in a breath. We need to discuss it because it’s important, but I don’t want to ruin this moment. I want to stay in his arms.
“We need to talk about it eventually,” he murmurs and kisses the top of my head. “We can’t continue to ignore it, no matter how much you want to.”
I pull away slightly and look up at Daddy. His lips thin, and I nod.
“Can we just sit here for a little longer and enjoy each other’s embrace?” I ask softly. “I don’t want it to end. The calmness.”
“We will be calm while we talk,” he declares. “But we can sit here for a little bit longer.”
I relax back on Daddy, letting my breathing even. Tears pool in my eyes once again as my body fully lets go of all the stress that’s built up over the past couple of days, but I quickly blink them away, not wanting to cry again.
“I’ve got you,” Daddy coos at me, running his hand up and down my back. “You’re okay to cry again.”
I shake my head and grab even tighter onto his shirt, trying to calm myself. I didn’t think I would get this emotional when he first talked to me again, and I could understand. I got upset when he held me and fed me, but nothing like this.
“I don’t think it was fair for you to turn off my translator in the office,” I whisper, afraid he is going to explode.
But Daddy continues to run his hand up and down my back while he pats my bottom with his other hand.
“It hurt my feelings,” I mumble. “You didn’t trust me. I was angry that after having a semi-good week together, you would just turn it off.”
“I am Daddy and can turn it off if I want to. You may not like it in the moment, but I’m doing it to protect you,” he calmly explains.
“I don’t like turning it off, but it was necessary since we were talking about something you couldn’t know.
Something that you need to have clearance for, and you don’t have it. ”
“I’m not Venkorian or know anything about this planet,” I point out.
What am I going to do with the information? There is no way for me to talk to the girls on the space station or even Luna. What does he expect me to do with it? Tell it to some random Venkorian I never talk to?
“It doesn’t matter. There are things that you will never know when it comes to my work, and you have to be okay with that,” he states, like that’s the end of the conversation.
I open my mouth, but Daddy shakes his head.
“There is nothing you can do. There are things that you will never know. I won’t be able to tell you because it’s top secret and only certain people are aware. There is information on Venkoria that I don’t even know because I’m not cleared to, and I have to be okay with it,” Daddy explains.
Which is the same as it was on the space station. I didn’t know everything that was going on since I wasn’t privy to that kind of information. I don’t know why it’s bugging me so much. Maybe it’s because I have this connection with Daddy, and it’s a different dynamic here.
I’m less free, but at the same time I feel freer than I have since I can remember.
“I don’t know,” I mumble, looking at him unsure.
“There will be times that it is hard. There are times for me when I want to know, but I can’t. It’s not going to be easy, but we are going to work through it together.” Daddy smiles. “Do you think you can do that with me?”
I nod and look off to the side. As long as he knows I don’t like it, there isn’t much else I can do about it.
“But you won’t turn it off for any other reason?” I whisper, looking back at him. My heart rate speeds up as I wait for his response.
Daddy just gazes at me and doesn’t say anything. My heart sinks when I realize that he will. I don’t think I can handle him turning it off for no reason or as a punishment. It’s not going to be good for my mental health if he does it all the time. It’ll feel like it has the past couple of days.
“I don’t like it.” I raise my voice a tiny bit. “I don’t want it. I don’t ever want it.”
Daddy cups my face and gently rubs his thumb across my cheek.
“I don’t want it,” I whimper and lock eyes with him.
He sighs. “Then the only time we will do it is when I need to talk to someone about something you can’t listen to. I was going to do it as a form of punishment. I talked to Julan about it, but seeing you react this way, we aren’t going to do it.”
I slump into Daddy and take a deep breath. I didn’t realize how heavy it was lying on me, that I didn’t want him to turn it off again. I don’t like not being in the know about things or if they are talking badly about me.
“You’re okay,” he whispers.
“Can anyone else turn it off or just you?” I ask.
“Just me. It needs my fingerprint and I’m the only one who has that.” He cracks a smile.
Nodding, I close my eyes and relax even more against him. Now I don’t have to worry about anyone else coming into Daddy’s office and trying to turn my translator off. Not that I would let them get close to my collar at all or even enough close to me, period.
“No male is going to come close to you without my permission. And even then, I don’t want them coming close to you.” Daddy rubs my back. “You are mine, and no one else’s.”
“So you’ll let a female get close to me?” I whisper.
Daddy gently pats my bottom and shakes his head. “You probably won’t see the females from Venkoria. They don’t like to leave their homes. We have males who get everything they need and drop it at the door.”
I stare at him in shock. To have everything given to you and not do a thing… that sounds like heaven. What I would have done to have that on the space station.
Daddy wants to give me that.
I freeze at the thought, and Daddy stops running his hands up and down my back.
“Are you okay?” Daddy asks.
I lay back and pretend nothing has happened.
“Yes,” I whisper, lying through my teeth.