12. Maleek
“… M
aleek Kirkland,” the science teacher announced the winner. It surprised me because I knew mine was good, but there were so many other good ones as well.
Science was one of my favorite subjects, and with everything I had going on at home I used the time to lock in. Even though I was distracted a lot, I had to see it through.
I looked to the back of the auditorium and saw the dark spot empty. That’s usually where Courtland sat. He never missed important events when it came to me.
“That’s my baby!” Mama shouted.
I grabbed my trophy while searching the crowd.
He had my schedule and knew that this was coming up. Yeah, we weren’t talking like that, but he’s never missed anything this important. Were things that bad to the point where he didn’t want to show up for me?
Ma was seated in the middle aisle, edge of the row, clapping for me.
I smiled.
Once the awards ceremony was over with, everyone went their separate ways. Ma was nowhere to be found. I went searching for her amongst the crowd when I saw her turning around with the phone to her ear, ending a call when she saw me.
I knew from her demeanor what that meant.
“Hey, baby. I’m so proud of you.” She hugged me then grabbed my trophy and admired it. “We can put this right along with the others.”
“Thanks, Ma.”
“Baby, I got to leave. I’m already two hours late for my shift. Let’s get you packed up and gone so I can take you home.”
I didn’t like how she couldn’t just take off work to spend this time with me. It’s always on borrowed time, always has been. I can’t recall the last time Ma stayed put after award shows. She always has to run like it’ll kill her to take time off.
“I got it, Ma. Go ahead,” I told her, trying to refrain from snapping or putting too much bass in my voice.
“No, Maleek. I can take you home.”
“I got it,” I said a little too loud, and the bystanders all started staring at me.
Ma even looked shocked that I raised my voice, but instead of sitting there watching her disappointment, I turned to walk away and found one of my homeboys to distract me. I joined in on their conversation just so Ma could leave.
I saw her reflection in the trophy case as she walked away, and when she was out of sight, I turned around. My chest felt tight, my jaw was tingling, and I was pissed like a bitch. I couldn’t stand my fucking family right now. Me, the baby of us two, and I felt the most unseen.
I ended up going to the cafeteria where they had desserts and shit for the students of the science fair. It was the same foods we got on a daily, the only difference was the cake. I barely ate school lunch because I ordered off door dash with the debit card that Courtland got for me.
Right now, he would’ve had me at Ruth’s Chris or something big.
Instead, he was doing him, and thinking about it further pissed me off.
I can’t believe he didn’t show up for me.
I pulled out my phone, scrolling through my call log and saw I had a few missed calls, but none of them were from Courtland. The same with the text thread. Nothing.
“Aye, Leek, we’re goin’ to D&B, you down?” my boy Joey asked.
“I’m going home.”
“But it’s Friday. You already know everybody’s about to be there.”
“I know, but I’m tired for real. I had to put the finishing touches on my project overnight. I’m sleepy.”
“Leek, where’s Rayzor?” someone yelled,passing by.
I shrugged. “He ain’t here.”
Courtland comes to my school sometimes to get me. Everybody knew I was his little brother, and that got me by a lot. Even the teachers knew of him, so it worked in my favor. Not all the time, but it works where it’s necessary.
“Dang. Okay. Hopefully next time.”
I threw my head back. “Yeah.”
“Alright, well I’ll hit you up tomorrow or something,” Joey said.
“Bet.”
We dapped up, and they left. I went back to the auditorium to take more pictures of my project. All the hard work and sleepless nights this took. At one point, I thought I wasn’t going to be able to finish it, but I did.
I killed time until I realized my friends were gone then slipped out the side door without the teachers seeing.
With my backpack over my shoulder, I stuck one headphone in and started walking.
The wind was howling and kicked the leaves across the parking lot.
The trees swayed from side to side, but it wasn’t too cold.
I tried pushing Courtland not showing up to the back of my head but couldn’t.
Things between us ain’t been right in a minute, and I was starting to feel like it was because he had Eris now.
I saw the blogs all talking about how she was wearing an engagement ring, but he never told me he was getting married.
Telling Ma wouldn’t even make a difference since she didn’t care.
I heard tires slowly creeping behind me, but I kept my head straight and put my hand in my jacket pocket for mace. I wasn’t trying to stop, so I walked a bit faster. It kept following behind me.
A lot of people knew not to fuck with me because everyone knew who my brother was. But Court has always told me to keep an eye out because everybody doesn’t have good intentions, and they’ll try to get me to get to him. I still wasn’t thinking today would be the day.
Then the truck pulled in front of me.
I jumped out of the way, and snatched my headphone out, ready to fight whoever it was.
“Your cognitive instincts are horrible, nothing like your brother,” Mr. Semaj said from the back passenger seat behind the driver as the window rolled down.
I rolled my shoulder, hiking my bag up. “My instincts ain’t wrong. I’m not my brother. I heard you on the side of me.” I pulled out my mace, dropping my hand by my side.
His eyes dropped on it, and he smirked a little when he saw it.
“Not the first choice, but at least you were willing to protect yourself.”
I didn’t reply.
“Get in, I can take you home.”
Ma’s words about staying away from the person who was leading me down a dark path replayed in my head.
I wasn’t tripping, or I thought she was right, because she didn’t even know Mr. Semaj.
She wanted to control me, and I felt that since I had something going on outside of what she knew.
She didn’t want me doing it because it wasn’t her doing.
“I ain’t going home right now.”
His driver got out and opened the door for me.
“I’ll take you wherever you’re trying to go.”
The door opened, and the streetlight shone through the dark tint.
I dropped my bag into my hand and climbed inside. The seat always felt premium. The ride always smelled new. His driver closed me in and went back around to the front.
Mr. Semaj did something on his phone before slipping it into his suit jacket.
“Congratulations on your first-place win.”
“How do you know about that?”
“I have my ways of knowing.” He let out a low chuckle as the truck moved out of the street and onto the road.
I don’t remember telling him about the science fair.
“Oh. Aiight. ‘Preciate that.”
“And where’s your family? You all should be out celebrating.”
“They’re all doing their own thing. I’m good.”
He sat back. “Abandonment builds strong character.”
“Who said I was abandoned?”
“Abandoned is the wrong term to use. My apologies. Sometimes I think before speaking. I’ll say, neglect.”
“I’m not neglected either. You know my mama works different shifts.”
“And she couldn’t put that shift to the side to celebrate you?”
“She was there.” I paused. “Just couldn’t stay.”
“You know, I had a mom that worked too hard as well. That’s why I became rich so that she didn’t have to anymore.”
I thought about Courtland. “If she wanted to, she could as well, but… that’s not how it works in my family.”
“She has a celebrity son and works frequently. Where does that leave you?”
I shrugged. “Don’t know.”
“Exactly. See. Not knowing means you’re unsettled.”
“Everybody got lives. They don’t always have time for me.”
“And does that make you angry?”
I didn’t have to think about it. “Hell yeah.”
“And what do you do with that anger?”
“I play sports. Kick it with boys. Other than that, I listen to music.”
“Anger builds character.”
“That sounds like a bitter nigga.”
He chuckled.
“It sounds like your brother, Rayzor.”
My head snapped in his direction.
“Why you keep bringing up my brother?”
“Because he’s the root of a lot of your problems.”
“How? I never told you that.”
“No. But I can see it. You’re in the shadows of your brother constantly. You’ve told me how your mother is always angry at him and wants to protect you, so you don’t end up like him. There has to be a reason for that, correct?”
I pulled my phone out, turned on some music then put my headphones back in.
Listening to him replay what I’ve told him before made me wonder if I’d said too much when it came to my family.
Mr. Semaj seemed to be the only one listening because when I told my friends about it, everybody thought I was tripping.
Honestly, all their asses were dick riding because of Court. Mr. Semaj was unbiased.
He didn’t keep asking, and I rode in silence, scrolling social media.
By the time I looked up, we were pulling up to my house. It was only fifteen minutes from the school. Ma’s car was outside, but I saw her standing in the window like she was waiting for me.
“Maleek.”
I turned back around.
“Turn that pain into passion. You’re mother will have two celebrities,” he said before they drove off.
Before my feet touched the driveway, Ma came flying out of the house.
“Maleek, what the hell are you doing?” she yelled.
“I just came home. What you mean?”
“You know what the hell I mean.”
“Nah, I don’t, Ma.” I pulled my bookbag up onto my shoulder.
“How do you know him?”
I turned around to see the truck driving away.
“Who?”
“What are you doing with him?
“You don’t even know who that is.”
She violently shook my shoulders. Her eyes looked crazy as hell as spit flew out of her mouth. What the hell was wrong with her?
“What’s wrong with you? Let me go, bruh.” I tried escaping her grasp.
“You think you’re grown now. Just hopping into anybody’s car. Is that the truck Courtland was talking about?”
I moved her hands from around me.
“Ain’t you supposed to be at work? Don’t worry about who I hang with.”
I headed for the house.
“Stay the hell away from whoever that is.”
“Why? It ain’t like you’re around. At least Mr. Semaj listens to me and ain’t neglecting or abandoning me,” I said, letting that last part slip out.
“What did you say?”
“Yeah. He’s been there more for me than you and Court have lately. That ain’t on me. That’s on you.”
I didn’t even wanna argue with her, so I went inside the house. She wasn’t supposed to see that. It wasn’t my fault she didn’t go to work like she said she was. It’s not even that bad.