Chapter 2 Rayzor #2
He shook his head while chuckling. “I believe whatever the fuck you tell me, bruh. Fuck them other folks. We been solid too long, and you still move like that one-man army shit, nigga.”
“Ain’t shit a mystery. Ain’t shit to tell. You know what it is.”
He went still.
He laughed. “Hell yeah.”
City was the only mothafucka that’ll laugh through anything. He loved cracking jokes like shit was funny all the time. That was my nigga, though but I’ve had to tell his ass too many times there was a time and a place for the bullshit. He was still figuring out what that meant.
“All the broke hoes been waiting on you to touch down since last night.” He shook his head. “Guess they couldn’t sell enough pussy to get their asses down to Miami, so they’re bringing it to the doorstep.”
I waved him off.
I ain’t fucking with these hoes like that.
“Dead ass.” He chuckled. “I went to eat this morning and the first thing they ask ‘bout was you. Like, damn, bitch. I got a dick you can suck too.”
You gotta be ready for some dumb shit whenever he opened his mouth.
“You dumb as fuck, nigga.” I chuckled.
“I’m just saying.”
“I’m already knowing.”
“What happened with you and E, and her girls?”
“Shit, ain’t nothing happened with her girls. I thought you were on Suki the way y’all acted. Me and E kicked it though.”
“Ain’t shit.” His eyes shifted. That nigga was hiding something. “E fine ass fuck, bro. All of them hoes were for real. I smashed some random hoe right after your win.”
“Nigga. I knew that shit smelled funny,” I joked.
“I thought I smelled something, but thought it was that nasty ass sushi you be eating,” he responded. That nigga be fucking anything.
“Nah, that’s that hoe pussy. You ain’t gon’ be happy ‘til that mothafucka floating in the toilet.”
“That’s cool as long as it still gets topped.”
That nigga had me shaking my head.
Eris crossed my mind.
“I gotta get up outta here in a minute to see Leek,” I broke the silence, shaking her from my mental. Can’t get too far into those types of thoughts.
“Hell yeah, it’s lil’ bro g-day.” He nodded. “Yo’ mama cool with you seeing him?”
Slouching deeper into the seat, I threw my head back, staring at the ceiling.
She wasn’t cool with it. Don’t even know I’m pushing up on him, but I’ve never missed a birthday, holiday or important event with Leek.
I had to play the background because Ma didn’t want me around bro.
Said I was going to damage him. Blamed me for a lot of shit that tore our family the fuck up.
I’ve been going at this shit so long with her that it’s normal to move in the shadows.
It fucked with my mental, but that’s the hand I had to play.
“Hell nah, but you know what it is.”
“Having to sneak to see blood is fucked up. I won’t even rock with that shit. Our people need us. Ya mama need to let go of that dumb resentment because at the end of the day, that shit ain’t doing nothing but hurting Maleek,” City said.
It hurt me too. I dealt with it differently.
Turned that pain into money until it became numb.
That’s why I made it my business to do shit my way because, like he said, that shit hurt Maleek.
He’s old enough to see what’s happening but too young to understand.
I didn’t want him hating me or going down the wrong path due to my absence in his life, so I do the best I can with what I have to work with.
“I deal with the shit until I don’t have to no more.”
“I think when Leek gets older, he’s going to come stay with you.”
I rubbed my chin. “You think so?”
“Hell yeah because even through all this shit, bro still loves you. You’re his fuckin’ hero. You show up for him even through adversities.”
City got up, went in his pocket and counted off a few blue faces.
“Get bro right for me.”
I took it shaking my head because City loved throwing shit at Leek. He treated him like his own, and I appreciated that kind of love. With me being away from him a lot, it’s good to know that my people fucked with him. Growing up, I had community but after pops died, the community did too.
When all the shit happened with Ma banned me from the family, I worried if bro would be aiight growing up.
Leek got a lot of love just off the strength of me.
I didn’t want him growing up feeling like the world didn’t give a fuck about him.
I never want to give him the opportunity to see what lonely felt like.
“Fuck he gon’ do with this? You know Ma gon’ get to asking questions.”
“Let her. She already knows she ain’t stopping shit. You can be sneaking all you wanna, nigga, but she know you ain’t far. It’s too many evidence– fresh as fuck, pockets lace. She know that managerial job ain’t putting that on his back.”
I took some off top and gave the rest of that shit back.
“He don’t need all this shit.”
He threw his hands up, backing away.
“Put it in the account.”
It’s either I took it, or his ass would stop by the crib and give it to Maleek himself.
I didn’t want him getting caught up with the lifestyle of money.
He knew I had it and made sure to give him whatever he wanted.
I moved to not get him in trouble because if she cut off one, she’ll cut off the other.
We dapped up when he paused.
“Leek needs a role model. Damn sho ain’t me and it shouldn’t be the streets. Keep up with this boxing shit,” he preached.
After letting him out, I grabbed my bag to wash. It was times like these I needed a woman to come home to, along with a meal, ready to laugh with and lay up under after traveling.
“Damn,” I smirked after seeing the makeup stain she left.
Last night was solid. Eris got whatever the fuck she wanted out of me. I read people for a living, and I knew she had baggage. That’s why she wanted change for the night.
Shaking the thoughts of her, I went into the closet, pulling out Leek’s gifts and sat on the bed. It was a diamond encrusted chain with an infinity symbol.
I had to figure out how to fix this shit to keep my relationship with him.
After a shower, food and a nap, it was time to head to Maleek. Instead of taking the truck, I opted for the Demon 170. It’s one of his favorite cars. Riding with the windows down, I had some background noise on as I pushed through the streets.
I barely made it to stoplights before being stopped by people wanting to talk and congratulate me on the win.
I couldn’t do all that callous shit right now, going to see Maleek was a time crunch.
This shit always made me feel dumb– having to sneak and see somebody I shared the same blood and helped raised.
Leek was heading down from the bus stop when he spotted me. He coolly walked over to me. I reminisced about how he used to run to me when I got off the bus as a kid. A core memory I’d never get rid of. No matter how old he got, if he wanted to do that shit again, I’d let him.
He ran up, dapping me up.
“Big bro. You came through.”
“You know I ain’t missing ya day.” I released him, doing a lil play boxing.
He ducked it. He glanced back at the car wearing a huge smirk because he was too cool. “You brought out the Demon. You gotta let me drive it, bro.”
“You got them L’s yet?” I told him.
“You know Ma not with that,” his tone changed.
“I got you.”
He went into his pocket.
“Look at all this money my friends gave me and shit.”
“And what?” I said, wanting his ass to repeat it.
“I mean and stuff. Two girls gave me this….” He pulled out two Footlocker bags from his bookbag. One had a Nike shirt, the other had a matching set.
I grabbed the clothes, examining them. “What the hell them young ass girls doing buying you shit like this?”
“I got two girlfriends.”
“You ain’t got shit, lil’ nigga... You need to be focusing on school.”
“I am, and they know what I got going on, big bro, but they love me. I get it from you.” He smiled.
I couldn’t do shit but shake my head before giving him my gift. Once that box open, I knew it was going to breathe a monster. Maleek was tamer than me at his age, but I saw a lot of myself in him.
“A chain!” He tossed everything else in his hand to the side.
“What’s this symbol?”
I lifted my chain to show we had matching ones.
“Look. I know shit with us is unorthodox, but I’m gon’ always be here for you. This shit is for infinity and can’t nobody stop that,” I explained, placing the chain around his neck.
He grabbed the chain, toying with the symbol. His eyes got sad.
“Mama wasn’t even here this morning. She didn’t even tell me happy birthday today,” he confessed.
I couldn’t look at the sadness, so I glanced out at the road.
Hearing and seeing said shit always put me in a bad mood because I knew there wasn’t anything I could do to stop it.
I’ve thought about snatching him up and taking him with me, then I thought about my lifestyle. Maleek was safer with mama.
“You know she’s always late. Always at work. You know she got you.”
He sighed.
“Last night I heard her crying about daddy.”
“Oh yeah?”
“I think she purposely left out this morning because she’s off today,” he explained.
“But your birthday’s going good, right?”
“One of the best ones I’ve had in a while. All I prayed for earlier was that I saw you.”
“You got the burner. Always hit my line.”
“I know. I didn’t doubt you.”
A moment of silence filled the air.
“Mama gon’ be alright. And she didn’t forget your birthday.”
“I know. I wish things wasn’t like this. I don’t know anybody that has to sneak to see their family. She knows how I feel about wanting to hang with you. Of course, she says you’re not welcome. I just wanna come stay with you.”
I pulled him into my side.
“I know, Maleek. I’m trying to make this shit right without getting you caught up. It’s a right and wrong way to do things.”
“I know.”
I looked at my watch. We still had a little time together.
“You hungry?”
His mood chippered. “I could eat.”
“Come on then.”
We loaded up the car with his bags. He hopped in the front seat, fastened his belt and was ready to ride out. This was the shit I looked forward to despite how the fuck we had to do it.
“Hook ya phone up. Let me see what you been listening to,” I told him while backing out the driveway.
If I could keep Maleek away from the streets, away from the shit with my mama and I, I’d be good.
I want to keep him pure from all the bullshit.
But he has a life to live too. Influences at school, people around him.
I don’t want him following any of the paths we’ve did. I want him to have a fair life.