Chapter 5 Eris
I’ve been smiling since meeting Rayzor. Who knew Miami would come full circle?
He’s a breath of fresh air. Something different. Something regulating. We were either always talking or seeing each other, and each time always felt like the first. I didn’t want to admit it, but I was smitten with him, although apprehensive if I should be.
With his celebrity status, we’re always seen.
I’ve been in the hometown blogs, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about it.
So, I try to keep our dealings inside for now.
That was just as bad as being outside because Erin’s friends were at our house now more than ever.
On top of my neighborhood finding out he was around, they’re outside for random reasons. It’s ridiculous.
Other than that, Rayzor was a gentle beast with me. He did everything from making sure I took time for myself to even helping with the kids. I’ve battled trying to let him help to which he doesn’t give a damn about and does it anyway. I settle into it no matter how often I fought with him.
My doorbell went rang, it was Suki.
“’I know your ass is here!” she yelled. “I got wine, bitch!” she added.
I laughed while tapping the button.
“Use your damn key.”
“I almost forgot I had it. It’s been so long since I came over,” she exaggerated, coming inside.
I went to the door with a broom in my hand. It was the weekend so that meant days off and God knows I needed a good cleaning. The kids were supposed to be going with Rhea so that left me plenty of time alone.
“I’ve been busy, girl. You know how I get.”
She was on my heels smacking her teeth and rolling her eyes. Before the door could close, Rhea walked in with two bottles of wine, and without a greeting.
“It’s about to be a time,” Suki said.
I shook my head laughing because she was right about that.
“It seemed like Miami was yesterday y’all,” Suki pouted.
“We already knew that you were going MIA when you got back. What’s tea?”
“Hold up. Is this a picture of you and Rayzor?” Suki asked, lifting the picture of us on our date at a steakhouse from my TV stand. He put it there even though I told him not to. I never thought to take it down.
“Rayzor, who? Not from Miami,” Rhea retorted.
I felt the judgement coming. And I didn’t like the way she ridiculed me before even letting me answer. Rhea always took it too far.
“Yeah, that Rayzor. Y’all know another one?” I asked, eyes bouncing between the two of them.
Suki flipped her hair over her shoulder. “Only the ones I use on my legs,” Suki commented.
“Hold the hell on. I don’t have nothing strong enough to drink for this,” Rhea exaggerated.
“We…” I watched her leave the room. “Ran into each other at Adrienne’s, and we’ve been hanging since.”
“Bitch, that’s the short version. I need the long one,” Suki screeched, ready for all my business.
While my girl had a smile on her face, Rhea wasn’t having it. She was coming down hard, even cutting her eyes. I knew she couldn’t be acting like this when they’re the ones who encouraged me to even talk to the man in the first place.
“Miami was all fun and games, Eris. That’s the sand, boo…” Rhea said.
“Shit.” I shrugged. “I might wanna dip my toe in it,” I explained.
Rhea rolled her eyes, looking away.
“What’s the problem?” I asked, feeling her judgement.
“Didn’t you hear her say they ran into each other at Adrienne’s?” Suki commented.
“We wanted you to have fun, but you’re not ready for a man like Rayzor–”
“And what the fuck’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means you’re not about that life. You work and come home. Rayzor is a fucking celebrity that be in the headlines for fucking and leaving them. The kids don’t need to be around him.”
“Y’all must be new because I’m already in the headlines. And the kids like him. I still make my money, and we still have fun. Now what? I don’t see a problem,” I replied.
“Girl, fuck what Rhea talking about.” Suki laid her hand on top of mine. “You know how she can be.”
“No.” Cleared the floor. “Please let me know!” Rhea snapped.
Suki sucked her teeth, turning her head back in my direction.
“You do too much,” Suki stated.
“And we’re getting to know each other. You’re acting like I said the man asked me to marry him,” I said. “But we don’t say shit when you be bringing them sketchy mothafuckas around. Play your part, Rhea.”
“I’m not the one to throw salt,” Rhea said.
“So… use sugar,” I retorted.
“He lives a fast life.”
I shot up from my seat. “Damn, bitch, you acting like you wanna fuck him.”
“Ohhh, I see what it is! She’s mad he chose you!” Suki shouted then burst into laughter.
“See, hoe, you’re taking it too far.” She pointed to Suki, and her laughter halted. She stepped forward. “If I wanted the nigga, I could’ve–”
With my hands on my hips, I didn’t back down. “Could’ve what?”
“Had any nigga in the room… including him.”
She was getting too close for me. I didn’t look anywhere but at her because if she wanted to take it there then there’s nothing but space and opportunity.
“Oh, bitch, please!” Suki shouted.
We were damn near touching noses. Rhea glared at me. I wasn’t about to go at it with my girl about any man. She was wrong for coming at me like this.
“Damn, Rhea, you tripping.” Suki stepped between us. “Why the fuck you can’t be happy for her.”
Rhea snapped out of her trance, taking a step back. “Look.” She paused. “I see how this is about to go and before I take it there with my friend over a nigga, I’ll leave.” She collected her things. “Erin and Levi, come on!” she called out, eyes still glued to me.
The kids ran into the living room packed and ready like they’d been waiting on the signal.
“No, leave them the fuck right here,” I stated matter-of-factly.
“Oh really?” she asked, shocked.
“Back to y’all room. Auntie got something to do,” I told them, never breaking eye contact with Rhea.
“Aww, man,” Levi’s little voice said, saddened.
“Yeah,” Suki stepped in. My eyes dragged over to her.
“I got you,” she mouthed. She picked up Levi’s spoiled ass. “Y’all coming with me instead. Cool?”
They nodded their heads with smiles. These kids were beyond spoiled. I was blessed for my tribe even when we weren’t on one accord.
“Levi, kiss your momma.”
He ran to me, hugging me around the waist.
I bent down.
“I love you, baby.”
“Love you too, Mommy.”
I fixed his shirt. “Be good for TT.”
“Okay!”
I kissed him again then stood. Erin gave me a hug.
“Make sure to keep up with him,” I lectured her.
“I will.”
Suki grabbed her purse to leave. Rhea beat everyone out the door without saying anything. My feelings were hurt by her bullshit.
“Love y’all!” I yelled out, walking out behind them.
Erin was at the car getting out Levi’s car seat while Suki and I watched from the doorway.
“I can’t believe her ass.”
“I’m grown. She can’t control shit. How she mad about me and my one-night stand kicking it? I’m having fun.”
“Good girls just wanna have fun,” Suki sang, and I laughed.
Leave it up to her to lighten my mood. Rhea had to rain on my parade not even knowing that I was already nervous about spending time with this man so much.
I’d started catching feelings and was keeping it a secret.
I thought I’d get the time to break it to my girls that I was seeing Rayzor. So much for that plan.
Later that evening
The house was quiet. I was laid on the couch watching a movie.
Chime.
My messages went off.
Rhea: I told you you’re not ready for a nigga like him. All these niggas are the same.
My heart dropped.
It was a blog’s post of Rayzor from different angles with some woman. Hand around her waist, and she was smiling with shopping bags. He wore a hoodie, his signature, but he was present with her, wearing a smirk too.
“What the hell?”
My ears burned, and Suki must’ve felt me when my phone blared in my hand.
“These niggas for everybody, friend. You alright?” she asked, concerned.
I put the phone on speaker then dropped it on my chest.
“I’m good, Suk,” I lied because that picture was imprinted in my mind.
“It’s me, E, not Rhea.”
I sighed.
“We ain’t together.”
“But he feeding you steak and around the kids. Y’all might not be official, but that’s some together shit.”
The line went quiet.
“I’m single.”
“You don’t have to be strong for me, E. I know this shit hurts.”
“He’s a celebrity, right?” I paused. “I was on my way to sleep, I’ll call you back.”
I ended the call before she responded.
Picking up my phone again, the damn blog was still up. I couldn’t put into words what I felt, but I knew calling Rayzor and cursing him the hell out was the right decision.
Going to his contact, I hovered over his icon before hitting call.
Every ring was worse than the last.
One turned into four before the answering service came on.
“Fuck you too then,” I murmured and hung up.
The TV was background noise as I went deep inside my mind. I was angry, hurt and confused on why I was feeling all things when we’ve only been kicking it. When he’s with me, he’s about me, the kids, the peace and us. But, Rhea was right, we’re from two different worlds. I had to shake him.
“I thought I wouldn’t get to see you again. It’s been a good minute,” Michael, one of the guys that I dated frequently, said as he politely placed his arm around my neck.
Rhea’s words led me to taking him up on an offer for a date that I’ve been declining. Before Rayzor, we’d go out occasionally. I enjoyed his company whenever we were together.
Saying yes had me on a horse drawn carriage riding through Downtown.
“You’ve been busy with the kids and work, I thought you forgot about me.”
I felt a twinge of guilt. While that was true, a lot of time was spent with Rayzor too.
“You know how it can be.” I half smiled.
Michael was safe. Always had been. A tech guy that lived a softer life. Work, travel, home.
He was the good guy type. Cookie cutter. There’s nothing wrong with that kind of energy. I just knew that a man like Michael would be good for me, he’s just not my ideal choice.
“I tell you often you need a break from just work.”
“I can say the same about you.”
Michael held my hand, thumbing the back of my palm.
“That’s why I don’t want kids,” he professed, killing my mood.
Annoyed, I scooted from his arm.
“What? You have an attitude because of my truths.”
“No.” I rolled my eyes. “I got one because your ass is insensitive. It’s not like I’m asking you to take care of mine.”
Just as we turned the corner, there was a roadblock.
A pair of menacing eyes stared at me from the street.
“Oh my God,” I whispered as Rayzor pushed up from his truck that he had blocking the lanes.
“Come‘ere, E!” he called out, standing in front of the horse.
The headlights highlighted his physique and devilish handsome fucking face. I shouldn’t even be looking at, much less thinking about, him. I couldn’t fucking stand it.
“Is he talking to you?” Michael asked.
His question was answered the moment the driver pulled the horse back because Rayzor hopped his ass inside the carriage.
They called out for him to get down. He ignored her. All eyes trained on me like it was my fault.
“Rayzor, what the hell you doing?”
Michael stood up.
“Eris, who this?”
“Daddy, nigga,” Rayzor responded, leaving me befuddled yet flushed.
“Please, ma’am, we can go. He’ll get off,” I told the driver.
“My man, she’s with me.”
“E,” Rayzor called my name.
Michael was in my ear, and Rayzor was towering over us. The driver was trying to get Rayzor’s attention, and the horns blaring sent me into overstimulation.
“Rayzor, go.”
“You heard her, man. She doesn’t wanna go with you,” Michael interjected.
“Get the fuck over here, Eris,” Rayzor commanded with a scowl on his face. Furrowed brows and raised chest.
“Rayzor, go home. How the hell did you even find me?”
“This my city, baby. You know that shit already. You just wanna test daddy, don’t you?” He paused. “That shit don’t matter though, get the fuck out the carriage.”
“I’m on a date.”
Michael, who was clueless, looked between Rayzor and I, hoping I didn’t leave with him.
“You can be at a funeral too,” he retorted.
The air choked me.
My eyes went to Michael.
“Who’s funeral?” Michael argued.
“Rayzor, stop!” I shouted, jumping to my feet.
My heartbeat was in my ears, hands began to sweat, eyes shifting, making me feel an attack coming on.
“You willing to die behind this pussy?” Rayzor asked him, grabbing a handful of my ass.
Michael rolled his shoulder then, out of nowhere, charged at Rayzor.
The carriage rocked.
Rayzor hit Michael, and his head damn near spun around like an owl’s. Spit, fear, and blood flew into the air like a slow-motion picture. He fell back onto the seat.
“Rayzor!” I yelled.
He saw Michael drop then adjusted his shirt before taking a seat.
“Drive!” he called out.
The driver was standing on the passenger side of the carriage.
“I can’t–”
“They paid for the time. Drive this mothafucka or I will,” he threatened.
The air was still as my heart raced, sounding louder than the city’s life moving around us.
“What the fuck you doin’ with this nigga?”
We rode over a bump, sending me to the seat.
Michael was slumped over, head dangling, nose dripping profusely.
“He needs a hospital.”
“That nigga gon’ be aiight.”
He was unfazed by the unconscious man next to me. Since he wasn’t leaving, there was nothing I could do. I grabbed Michael’s head, holding it back to stop the bleeding.
“I’m single, I can date,” I replied.
“Yo’ throat ain’t single, and you still got my seeds dancing on your tonsils. Stop fuckin’ playing with me.”
His words made me fucking angry. I shot up from the seat and reacted before thinking about it.
SLAP!
My hand went across his cheek, barely making him flinch. He closed his eyes and when they reopened again, the devil laid behind those pupils. His tongue poked against the inside of his jaw.
“I said what I said! I can suck a million dicks and still be single!” I spat. “Weren’t you just in the blogs with another bitch last night? Don’t worry about me.”
When he leaped at me, I jumped back because I wasn’t expecting it. But he stopped himself.
He grabbed the back of my head roughly, kissing me with passion, eyes open. “You got that shit. I’ll let you have fun tonight, but if that nigga on you by morning, you might as keep this black dress on,” he poked me in the stomach, threatening before releasing me.
“Stop the ride,” Rayzor told the driver.
The carriage jerked as it abruptly stopped.
He got up, hopped down and stood off to the side as we started back up again.
His eyes glided with me as we rolled past him.
My heart hadn’t caught up to my brain as my heart skipped a beat.
That damn man had me all confused. That’s exactly why I went on this date to try and shake Rayzor because I was in too deep no matter what my mouth said.
I wanted to be in his skin and that was dangerous.
It was clear that he felt the same way. What’re we doing?