Chapter 13
Emma
I wipe the steam off the mirror and slip on my glasses. I made Rafi stay out of the bathroom. We already showered together last night, but I doubt either of us left any cleaner after what we did in there, and I wanted to actually be able to put some clothes on since we were going to grab lunch outside of the house.
Last night was… unbelievable. Almost literally. Finding out my new boyfriend was also my oldest friend and crush was surreal. In a way, it all made sense, although there's no way I would have ever guessed it. I knew Rafi tried fighting when we were teens but he didn't mention it to me again because I worried so much about concussions.
It was during a time when football leagues were making a huge deal of it and I worried about Rafi. Also because it seemed like no one at home cared much about him, and I needed to worry for the both of us. I was definitely surprised and kind of pissed though that he managed to move so far along with his career and never said a word. But I get it. We didn't always talk about the specifics in our lives. I certainly never told him about my blog or my fantasies.
I don't understand why he didn't tell me who he was though, and I don't agree with his reasoning. At the moment, I'm too damn blissfully happy to care, but there is a slight pinch, like an irritant, at being lied to. I haven't forgotten. But I'm setting it aside until I'm ready to deal with it.
The sex was fucking incredible. Like, mind-blowing, reality-bending, fantasy-inducing, incredible. We haven't left his bedroom since last night and it's almost 1 pm. I'm starving and he said he'd splurge and eat badly with me today since he won his fight last night and he doesn't have another for six weeks. Plus, we're celebrating.
We may even have a few drinks tonight with Stetson, which I guess is a tradition for them when they win.
I pull on my skinny jeans from yesterday along with a new pair of underwear and bra, and a baggy t-shirt with a Big Lebowski logo on it. I tuck the front of the shirt in, and I know I look like a dork with no fashion sense, but I don't care. Definitely not now that I know Raze is Rafi. I'm way less confused about why he's into me.
Not because I knew Rafi loved me. But because what he and I have, as friends, was real. Long-lasting. I never doubted our friendship beyond his disappearing act this year, so rather than rocking what Rafi and I have, it only solidified what Raze and I have.
I'm thinking of him as two different people again. It's going to take some getting used to.
I stuff everything into my bag and head downstairs to the kitchen, when I hear voices trail up the stairs.
"Just keep her the fuck away from me, man," Rafi growls. I pause my steps.
"I know, I'm sorry. I didn't know she'd be such a fucking clinger."
"I told you she would be. I don't want her near me or Emma." Even more curious, I continue my steps. They both look up at me, Stetson with a knowing smile, Rafi with a concerned expression.
"What are you talking about?" I ask, dropping my bag on the floor, leaning against the counter next to Rafi. He wraps his arm around me and kisses my temple.
"Nothing for you to worry about," he says.
"Oh, I'm such a delicate flower. Don't you think you've kept enough from me?" I ask him pointedly. I'm not forcing the issue, but he needs to notice this pattern.
He sighs and drops his head. "Just, that chick that had you cornered in the kitchen last night. Tina. She creeps me out."
"Oh, yeah, she was kind of awful."
"Did she do something?" Rafi tightens his grip.
"No, not really. She just wasn't very nice. I definitely got the impression she's obsessed with you though. You've never…" I wince, looking sheepishly at Rafi.
He lifts his eyebrows in confusion.
"Been with her? Before? She sort of implied—"
"Oh, fuck no. She keeps showing up here and at the gym, no thanks to that asshole over there," he points to Stetson. "Never been with her babe, I swear."
I shrug. I mean, it would have been before we got together, I have no right to feel jealous or mad if he had. But I'm relieved he hasn't. She was mean.
Stetson changes the subject and tells us of his plans for the day. We're going to grab lunch together, drinking may or may not be involved, then we're going to the beach, and we're coming back here afterward to order pizza and other 'garbage food' and to make cocktails.
"This is your tradition? You must feel like shit the day after considering how clean you eat,” I point out.
"Yeah. It sucks. And I always regret it. Maybe I'll feel better with you there. But you don't have to work tomorrow right? You said Alice was covering for you?"
"Oh, invite Alice!" Stetson snaps his fingers, pausing on his way out the door.
I look up at Rafi, and he says, "It's up to you. It would be nice to have you to myself, if she's there to entertain dumbass over there."
I pull out my phone and text her. She's working all day but the coffee shop closes at 3, telling me she could join us for the beach hang.
Alice: So he's not a whore?
Emma: Well… there was a chick on his lap last night. They may or may not have slept together, I don't know.
Three dots appear. Then disappear. Then reappear.
Alice: Oh, what the hell. Lemme know where you're at around 3:30.
Emma: Done!
"She'll join us at the beach, at least," I tell him. Stetson looks too pleased by this and I wonder if I've made a mistake. He's a decent guy, if a little slutty, but as long as Alice is aware of that going in, she's a big girl, she can handle him. Actually, I'm more worried about whether he can handle her.
I follow Rafi out to his truck and move to climb in the back when he yells at Stetson. I giggle, but climb in the front as I'm instructed while Stetson stuffs his tall frame in the backseat. He's grumbling, but it's clear he's also just teasing me. He has a bad habit of doing that, apparently.
We drive to a cafe that's right on the beach, closer to their house than mine. "I love this place," I tell them. “They make the best veggie burgers in town, all handmade.”
We pull in, and Stetson goes in ahead of us to grab a table. Rafi and I take our time before following him in, I point out my favorite spot on the beach, the best place for surfing, and which direction the pier with the best fishing is.
"Am I boring you?" I ask shyly. "I know you're not from here, is all."
"Talk all day long, Emma, I'll always listen. You could never be boring. Maybe we could go fishing with your dad sometime," he suggests, referencing something I've only ever told him in letters. My favorite activity with my father is fishing at the pier, we go every summer.
I'm warmed by his thoughtfulness but it's wrapped in a tinge of bitterness too. All this time, we could have been together.
He must sense the change, because he frowns, and asks, "What's wrong?"
I shake my head, try to formulate an answer.
"Are you still mad at me?"
"I think I'm mad that I'm not mad. I mean, I get to be with you, Rafi. Raze. How could I be mad about that? And yet…"
He sighs and looks out over the ocean. "I get it. You have every right to be mad. To be honest, I'm pissed at myself, too. All I can say is, maybe it's just happening now because we're both ready."
I don't know if that's enough of an answer, but the truth is, I am mad because I'm not mad. I'm elated to have him, fully. I don't understand why he kept this big secret for so long, but I can be okay with it.
I don't want to waste any more time between us.
So, I lean up and kiss him, to show him how I feel. We get lost in each other until Stetson yells at us to hurry up because he got us a table. I smile into our kiss, and let go, walking up the wood pathway over the sand into the cafe, holding Rafi's hand.
"This place has the best bloody marys," Stetson tells me.
"Yeah, I know. But if you order it with bacon, the chef will add a little bacon grease to it, it's unreal," I share my insider's tip.
"Damn, that sounds good. You're a keeper Emma," leans forward to ruffle my hair, and I slap his hand away, pushing my glasses back up. He laughs at me, and I lean back into Rafi's arms.
"Are you from around here Stetson?"
"Nah, I'm from the south, closer to LA like this guy," he hooks his thumb toward Rafi. "You from Wescott?"
"Mmhmm. Born and raised."
"It's crazy how fast you guys fell. It's been like, what, two, three weeks? And to think, you've got me to thank for it," Stetson declares after the server takes our order.
"I'm not thanking you for shit," Rafi says, and I can't help but laugh. They banter like grumpy old men.
"Rafi, he has a point. He did kind of force your hand," I point out.
"You and I both know I would have asked you out eventually."
"It's weird you call him Rafi, no one calls him that. I don't think most people even know it's your real name," Stetson says jokingly.
Something occurs to me and I turn to Rafi.
"He doesn't know about…?"
Rafi shakes his head. Huh. Interesting. I'd have thought he'd explain to Stetson why he was into the quiet mousy girl. It doesn't matter, I decide, and take a big sip of my bloody mary, which was just dropped off in front of me. We all ordered the same thing.
"Know about what?" Stetson asks, setting his glass back down.
"None of your business," Rafi says, but he's smiling.
We continue like this for an hour, long after the food arrives. I feel like I've been accepted into their tiny circle, and it was seamless.
We finish eating, which Stetson pays for, apparently also a tradition, and head out to the beach. Rafi grabs a blanket out of his truck and we walk to the edge of the low tide. It's too cold for me to swim, being nearly November, but Stetson has no qualms. Rafi and I cuddle together on the blanket and eventually Alice joins us.
She and Stetson flirt back and forth, which mostly consists of him hitting on her and her saying something mean back, but he seems into it. It's not yet dark out, but the sun begins its slow descent into the sky, so we get up and get ready to leave.
I tell Rafi I need to get another change of clothes, so Alice and Stetson take her car back to their house and we head to my apartment.
* * *
I just finished swapping out everything in my bag and am digging through my drawers in my bathroom trying to find another pair of throw-away contacts. I know I have another set in here somewhere. I'm bending over when I feel Rafi move in behind me.
You'd think since we've had sex three times in the last 18 hours, we'd be sated. We aren't. Actually, I was feeling fine until I feel his erection press against my ass, his hands at my hips. I'm about to give up the search when I finally spot my contacts in the drawer buried under piles of hair clips. I pull them out and turn around, contacts in hand.
"Can we bring this?" He asks, holding the anal plug. My cheeks burn. It's going to take a while for me to reconcile my Rafi with the guy I shared all my sexual fantasies with.
I don't say anything, I can't, I just press my lips together and nod. He chuckles, pressing forward, into my personal space.
"Maybe we should put it in now?" I feel the heat of his breath against my ear.
I'm suddenly soaked between my legs, the burning ache is instant, I don't know how he does it. A single look, a touch, a word, and I'm so hot for him, so wet. I don't respond. Do I want him to stick it in me? Yeah, kinda. Am I nervous? I've never done this with anyone. It's still kind of embarrassing, I don't know why.
I can feel myself clamming up, and he watches me go through the motions, a slight wash of concern over his expression.
"Do you think it's weird? That my sexual appetite is so… varied?"
"No. Not at all. I think you're amazing. It's the rest of us that need to catch up."
"I used to have this fantasy, before I met you. Or, in person, you. I actually wrote it down, like you suggested…"
He listens intently, but doesn't say anything, just nods encouragingly.
"This alien comes down to Earth," I begin and he grins savagely. Okay, whatever, here goes, "Aaand, he takes the form of a human so he can assimilate and learn about us. Actually, he's gender-neutral, but takes the form of a male. And he wanders into the coffee shop and sees me. He asks me out and I say yes, and we go out. And when we get to the end of the date, we are so hot for each other that we decide to have sex right then. But I wasn't prepared and I don't have a condom. I try to explain this and he just suggests we use my other hole, since I can't get pregnant that way."
Rafi is still smiling, but it's turning darker, more heated. I don't know if he realizes he's leaned so far into my space that I'm pressed up against the bathroom counter. I can feel his erection pressing hard into belly, and I'm dripping wet.
"Keep going," he says. He doesn't touch me, his hands are on either side of me, boxing me in.
I swallow and continue, "I try to explain that it doesn't work that way, it doesn't feel the same. And he doesn't understand. Because, before he chose his body, he studied it. And he said I could certainly get off like this. So he teaches me and I learn how to get off during anal sex."
He's leaned in close now, so close I can hear the sound of every breath, feel the rapid beat of his heart, I can see it in the pulse in his neck.
"I've played quite a bit, but I still need other stimulation. Like, if there's another… uhh… toy," I whisper.
"Like double penetration?"
"Uhmm, yes. Like that."
"I know I'm trying to encourage you to own it and not be embarrassed by it. And you shouldn't be. But fuck, the timid way you say it, so quiet and soft. It's such a fucking turn-on, Emma." He presses his erection into me and I almost cry out.
"Turn around," He growls into my ear. I'm on fire, my skin a live wire, but I do as he says.
I'm facing the bathroom mirror when he reaches his arms around me. I watch him in the mirror as he unbuttons my jeans and begins to tug them down, one hip at a time, sliding them to the floor, my underwear following suit. I swallow deeply.
"Bend over," he demands.
I squeeze my legs together, I'm so nervous and needy. Again, I do as he says. I can't really see him in the mirror anymore, but I feel his breath on my ass cheek, and then he bites, gently. I need friction. I need something. The anticipation is killing me. It literally fucking burns.
He takes the toy and slides it into my pussy and I almost collapse.
"Oh fuck," I whisper, squeezing my walls around it. It's a pretty small toy, the way it's shaped it's way smaller than a dildo. Still, the feel of him pushing it in, and Rafi's hands touching me, it's so good. I need to get off. So badly. I have a feeling he's going to torture us both, though.
"You're so fucking wet," he rasps.
He pumps it into me a few times, and I feel the edge press against my ass. Slowly he pushes it in and the pressure is tight but it feels so good, so filling. It doesn't hurt, it hasn't since the first time, and even then, hurt isn't the right description. It was uncomfortable the first time. But then I started to crave it.
I'm definitely disappointed when I discover I was right, when Rafi reaches down and begins pulling my underwear and jeans up. I'm whimpering in near pain at the loss of an orgasm, but he ignores my silent plea, buttoning me back up and turning me around.
I've learned how to walk with a plug, not that I've done it that many times. But I've done it enough to where I can move without discomfort or awkwardness in my steps.
"Let's go," he growls, and I'm pleased, by the look of his jeans, that he's torturing himself as well.
We drive back to his house and we're both pretty quiet. It's going to be a long night. He adjusts himself, but there's no hiding his erection and he chooses to ignore it.
Stetson is already making cocktails and we both sit at the kitchen counter and try to distract ourselves with Alice and Stetson's flirty banter. It's funny. I don't think they'll become anything serious, but I think they'll have fun, at least for the night. Alice shares her new obsession with finding cute thrift store finds and fixing them up and reselling them online. It's a good business idea.
"You know I'd love to raid your collection," she tells me.
"My collection? I have terrible fashion sense."
"No you don't! Are you kidding? People love the way you dress. It's like, hipster meets, cool aloof coffee shop girl. You've got your own style. Maybe you can model for me."
My eyebrows hit the top of my forehead, now I know she's fucking with me. Stetson and Rafi join in their encouragement and I push a subject change. I manage to forget, at least somewhat, the fact that I'm wearing an anal plug, and stay distracted with drinks and conversation.
"I can't believe how dedicated you have to be. I could never do it. Neither could she," Alice snorts, pointing her finger at me over her vodka spritzer. I've had two drinks, happy to be buzzed but not wanting to get drunk.
Rafi seems to be doing the same, and while Stetson has noticed and complained his friend isn't getting wasted like their normal post-match win routine, he doesn't seem to care too much. He has a hot blonde he's focused on entertaining.
"It's true, I couldn't give up tacos. And donuts. And coffee! How do you skip coffee?" I ask them, scandalized.
"I like coffee, but I'm so used to not drinking it that it really doesn't matter to me. Tacos I still eat on occasion as long as they aren't covered in crap. And donuts… you like to torture me with those, don't you?" He asks, winking at me.
"I like to torture you in lots of ways," I reply and his smile drops, dark eyes heated.
"Ugh, you guys are gross, I hate you," Alice says good-naturedly. She doesn't really. She loves me.
"I love you too, Alice," and she smiles and shimmies her shoulders. We stay and hang out for another hour but Stetson and Alice are both getting drunk and Rafi is getting restless. He's been squeezing my knee harder every second and I wonder if I'm going to have to take control when suddenly he stands abruptly.
He doesn't even say goodnight and Alice laughs at his urgency. You good? I mouth at her and she smiles, cheeks flush from the alcohol.
"Yes!" She replies out loud. "Yes, yes, yes!” I barely get a chance to roll my eyes at her before I'm being tugged up the stairs.
The door slams shut behind me, and Rafi's quick and desperate, ripping my clothes off. I don't have a chance to return the favor before I'm pushed up against the edge of his bed, falling back onto it. He tugs off my jeans and before I know what hits me, his face is buried in my pussy.
I cry out, squeezing the plug, now fully aware of its presence. There's a type of need you feel when it's inside you, like you are never full enough. I need Rafi's cock, I'm slapping my hands against the bed, tugging at his hair, but he doesn't relent.
He sucks hard, then flattens his fingers against my clit, replacing his tongue, and gives me the friction and pressure I need. He climbs over me, kissing me hard and I can taste myself on him. He pushes his tongue in my mouth and I open for him, widening my legs, begging for a release, while he rubs my clit and I roll my hips up into his hand.
My orgasm is fast and messy. I'm still chasing it when he lets go of me, again, his movements abrupt and fast. He rips his shirt off, face contorted in a serious, anguished expression. He pulls down his jeans and underwear simultaneously, his huge, thick, rigid cock springs up, nearly slapping his abdomen, precum is glistening off the tip.
"I'm on birth control," I tell him. We probably should have had the safe sex conversation before now.
He doesn't respond, expression doesn't change. He just grips his cock and runs his hand up and down it, pumping it a couple of times. His knees buckle slightly.
It brings a smile to my face, and it's like it wakes him up because he lets go of his cock and grabs my legs, pulling me off the bed, flipping me around. He pushes me forward with his knees, still hasn't spoken a word. There's a desperation in his moves, jerky and uncontrolled.
He maneuvers me so I'm on all fours on the bed and he's standing behind me. I feel his erection against my leg and his upper body covers my back.
"You are so fucking sexy, Emma," he says, voice reverent and loving. His hand teases the back of my neck, then he twists his hand in my ponytail, gripping it like a handle and giving me a tug, dragging his other palm flat along my back. In this position, the angle of the plug feels so fucking good, and I push my hips back searching for him to fill me up.
His hands roam to my front and squeeze my breasts, sliding down my body toward my hips. One hand wraps around me tightly, holding me in place, while the other slips between my legs.
"You're fucking dripping," he swears. "You need my cock, babe?"
"Yes!" I cry out.
"Yes, what?" He growls, while he starts working my clit.
"Your cock, I need your cock, Rafi! Please fuck me, please!" I beg him, not caring how needy I sound.
He swears, his hand guiding his cock to my entrance and shoves inside me, hard. I cry out, the sensation of the plug in my ass and his cock in my pussy fills me so completely. "Oh god! Oh fuck!" I scream, pushing my ass back toward him.
"Holy fuck!" He roars, "Oh fuck you're so tight. You feel so good Emma, fuck!" He's pumping into me, the sound of skin slapping and our messy, desperate sex filling the air.
"Touch yourself, Emma. Rub your clit," he demands. I reach down with one hand to touch myself and it's too much. I buck my hips back and it forces his dick deeper, hitting me at an intense, aggressive angle.
"I can't! I'm, I'm—fuck, Rafi, I'm coming!" I scream when my fingers hit my clit, forcing me to roll my hips back again.
He grips both my hips, holding onto me for dear life while he fucks me with everything he has.
"Unghh!" He grunts, thrusting harder, so rough his pelvic bone is bruising against my ass cheeks. "Fuck!" He shouts one more time before one last hard, snapping thrust, his grip against my hips pulling me back into him while he pushes into me.
He shakes against me, the last of his orgasm leaving his body and I pull my knee forward so I can fall onto the bed.
"Can you pull it out," I plea, my voice barely audible and scratchy.
He pulls out the anal plug and I nearly come again, the movement waking another wave of aftershocks, making me shiver. The toy hits the ground and I can finally lie down and relax.
"Holy fuck, Emma," Rafi says against my skin, having collapsed on the bed beside me. We're both at a loss for words.