Chapter 30
SUNDAY
Razor is subdued and has been since the mission. I can only imagine the horrors these guys witness every time they ride out, and I’m doing my best to keep things as normal as possible for him.
Not that normality figures much here at the moment.
When the rest of the guys came back, they brought with them three very sheepish kids. They are confined to barracks, as they say, and Jack in particular has taken it hard.
Lou is also subdued, wrapped up in her own problems, and despite me telling her I’ll fill in at the cafeteria, she won’t hear of it.
“I come here to escape, honey.”
She sighs as she cleans the trays for the tenth time already today.
“Jack is moping about the house. Brewer is pissed at him, and I’m stuck in the middle as always.”
“Has he spoken much about what went down?”
It’s unusual for me to pry, and she nods.
“It’s why Brewer is so pissed. I mean, we raised Jack as a Reaper.
He knows the first rule is protection. He failed; there’s no other way to sugarcoat that.
In allowing Cassie to get involved with some mafia kid, he put them at risk.
He could have alerted Ryder, and brought the Reapers in sooner, but out of some kind of misguided loyalty to Cassie, he tried to deal with it his way, and it nearly cost them their lives. ”
“I see.”
I feel sorry for Jack, but Lou speaks the truth. The kids placed themselves in danger when they should have done the right thing and alerted Ryder.
“What about Imogen?”
“Recovering and deep in her own shit. She struck up a relationship with Drake, and Flash is pissed. Like me, Jennifer is caught in the middle and can’t see there’s anything wrong, but where it concerns their kids, the Reapers have blinkers on and still consider them babies in arms.”
“Poor Imogen.”
I sympathize, and Lou chuckles. “Flash doesn’t stand a chance with two women going at him. He is screwed big time, and he knows it. It doesn’t help with his temper, though.”
“I didn’t know Flash had a temper.”
“He didn’t until now.”
Lou sighs, her eyes weary.
“It will blow over. It always does. Jack is due to enlist in the military, and Cassie is heading to law school.”
“What about the mafia kid?”
Lou shrugs. “Still on the scene by all accounts, but his family is also pissed. They communicate via phone, and that’s all I know. Ashton told me that when the dust settles, she believes they will drift apart. They both lead very different lives, and distance helps with that.”
“And Jack?”
I ask because it’s common knowledge that Jack and Cassie always dodged their feelings for one another, and Lou raises her eyes.
“That’s a story for another time. I doubt that book is closed, merely the end of a chapter.”
She dries her hands on the towel and asks, “Have you heard from Blade?”
“Razor has. He’s still holed up in the mountains with the woman they rescued. I think her name is Delilah.”
“I understand they’re heading home.” Lou smiles.
“Razor will be happy.”
We share a grin because, despite the fact that Razor barely says two words to anyone around here, since Blade left he has retreated even more into his shell than usual.
* * *
We finish up, and I head off to find him. We are due to head into town, mainly to get some light relief from The Rubicon because it’s as if a cloud has settled over our usual paradise.
We meet in the parking lot, and when I notice him in the distance, already astride his motorcycle, I note the dejected slump to his shoulders and the way he is staring off into the distance.
Something is troubling Razor, and he won’t let me in. There is nothing unusual in that, but it still hurts. I mean, we may not be official, but we live as if we are. We do everything together, and if he’s hurting, so am I.
I head across to meet him, and his hard gaze tears a hole in my libido on repeat every day, and I contain my breathing because that is not what today is about.
“Hey, baby.”
I smile as I approach, and his usual surly nod is my answer, causing me to sigh inside.
“Are you ready?”
I nod, taking the helmet he tosses me, the leather jacket already around my shoulders, my legs in jeans for the ride.
As I settle behind him, I sense something is off with him, and my heart flips inside me because I worry about him.
As we ride, he is slower than normal, almost as if he is prolonging it, preferring to be alone with his thoughts.
We reach the town and park up, and as soon as I can, I fix him with a fierce frown.
“What’s up? You’re brooding on something.”
“I’m not.”
He dismisses me, and I roll my eyes. “Cut the crap and tell me.”
His soft smile reassures me, and he takes a long time stowing our helmets and securing the motorcycle.
Then he turns and surprises me by pulling me hard against him, tilting my face to his, and his gaze burns deep into mine.
“This shit sometimes gets to me, darlin’. It’s not easy living with the memories that pile up on repeat. It can take several days for me to deal with that.”
I’m not sure I believe him because Razor has ridden out on many missions since I arrived and none appears to have affected him as much as this one.
“Is it because Blade isn’t here?”
Pain flickers in his eyes, and I obviously hit that right.
“He should be with me.”
He says no more and then jerks his head toward the store.
“Let’s get this done. There is a better way to spend the day, and it involves you distracting me from my mood.”
I roll my eyes as he grins, his lustful gaze burning me inside.
It’s been months, and he still has the same effect on me. I am so screwed, and he knows it.