Chapter Thirteen
Chapter
Thirteen
Razr wouldn’t let Jedda tend to his wounds. She’d
watched him suffer, bleed, and withdraw into himself as she held him in her
arms, unable to give him the one comfort he’d asked for.
Her forgiveness.
It wasn’t that she didn’t forgive him for making her hurt
him. There was nothing to forgive. She’d done what she had to do, even
as she hated him for it. Hated herself for
it.
Because ultimately, it was her fault he was going through
this torment in the first place.
Jedda couldn’t let this go on. She couldn’t let Razr live
the rest of his life like this.
She had to give up his gem.
The moment they were done with Shrike––assuming they
survived the meeting––she’d scour the human and demon realms for a gemstone
more powerful than the Enoch gem, and if she couldn’t find one, maybe Azagoth would be willing to do what needed to be done to
her.
She’d die, but Razr would no longer live a life of
suffering. Suffering that she was directly responsible for. If she hadn’t
stolen his gem, he wouldn’t be in this mess.
Rain pelted the window she’d been staring out of for hours, her gaze fixed on Shrike’s minions. The soaking-wet
demons lurked on the sidewalk, their beady eyes as dead as she felt on the
inside. On the outside, she looked the way she felt:
exhausted and bruised, a result, she thought, of Shrike’s Lothar curse. The
last time she’d checked herself in the mirror, she’d been shocked at how gaunt
she looked, and even now when she glanced down at her arms, her breath caught
at the purple bruises spreading under skin that had grown dull and grayish.
She and Razr were quite the pair, weren’t they?
Footsteps pounded in the hallway, and her stomach turned
over even as her heart fluttered. She was an emotional disaster, something
she’d never been. Probably because she’d never had strong feelings about any
male, let alone one who needed things she couldn’t give him. Because one thing
was certain: she could never, ever, hurt Razr again. Nor could she
watch it. Or even know it was happening.
She’d always thought she was strong, but the events of the
day had proven that she was nothing of the sort.
“Jedda?”
She couldn’t even look at him. Her shame had tied her in
knots she wasn’t sure would ever be untangled. “What?”
“I think we can kill Shrike.”
Shame took a backseat to surprise, and she finally glanced
up. Razr looked like hell, his expression bleak, his eyes haunted. Gods, she’d
hurt him so badly, hadn’t she?
“What do you mean? How?”
“My powers are bound, but the Enoch gem’s
aren’t. Through the bond we share, I can access it.”
Her heart gave an excited thump. Her world might be shit
right now, but this was good news. Shrike had cursed her to growing misery, and
although she hadn’t told Razr, she could feel the crushing pressure of it even
now. The moment they’d come back to the earthly realm from the elven one, she’d experienced a painful squeezing sensation,
one that made her skin feel like shrink-wrap. She could only imagine how much
worse it would get over the course of the next couple weeks.
“What kind of power are we talking about?”
“A concussive blast that will blow apart any demon it
touches, including fallen angels.” He gestured toward the door. “We’ll tell his
buddies out there that we have what he wants and we’re ready to go.”
“They’ll want proof.”
“We have the crystal horn. That’ll get us inside the
castle.”
As far as suicidal propositions went, this was a good one.
“And afterward? Assuming we survive?”
“Then you come back here and resume your life. I’ll return
to Sheoul-gra and pretend to keep looking for the
Gems of Enoch. No one has to know I found them. You
and your sister will be safe.”
It was how it had to be and she knew it. At least, it was
how it had to be until she found a replacement gem or died trying.
But she couldn’t let it end like this. She moved to him, and
when he tried to step back, she persisted.
“I know this is going to sound crazy, but I... I think I
love you.” His eyes flared wide, but she didn’t regret her words. “Thank you
for finding me. I’m so glad it was you.”
Razr’s gaze was tortured, but
etched in his expression was something else. Something she wished she hadn’t
seen.
Love. He loved her too.
Very slowly, he reached out and cupped her cheek, his thumb
smoothing away the teardrop rolling down her face and the tiny gem that formed
behind it. She moaned as he lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her with so
much tenderness and passion her knees nearly buckled. Heat spread through her
veins, followed by a chill that sat on her skin like frost.
This was it. Good-bye.
When he pulled away, it was clear he knew it too.