Chapter 22
22
The next morning, I woke up stiff, sore and cold. Pushing myself up, I made my way upstairs to the en-suite bathroom, where the full extent of my crying showed in the blotchy face and dark circles under my eyes, enhanced by smeared make-up that I hadn’t got around to removing.
I washed my face, brushed my teeth and got in the shower. Once that was done and I felt a little more human, I got dressed, reapplied some light make-up to hide the worst of the damage then headed into the village to get some basics. Having not expected to be waking up in my own house, I hadn’t got any supplies in. The last thing I wanted to do right now was see anyone, but I’d put my armour on and I’d have to tackle the situation sooner or later. There was an emptiness inside me that I knew no food would fill. I wasn’t even hungry. But I did need coffee.
* * *
‘Hi! How was New York?’ Jules called as I walked in the door. ‘Are you OK?’ She frowned at me. Obviously, she hadn’t spoken to her brother yet. In a way, that was a relief.
‘Yes, I’m fine, just a bit tired. I missed you though,’ I said, giving her a hug as she came around the counter. It was true. I had missed her, and the village and the man I loved. Had loved… No. Still loved. And would for a long time to come.
‘I missed you too! Please say you’re home to stay for a while. Jesse’s been missing you madly!’ She looked past me. ‘Is he with you?’
‘Oh, err, no. I did see him last night though.’ It wasn’t a lie.
‘Good. Hopefully, he’ll stop being such a grump now. Honestly, I can’t tell you how happy I am that you two got together. I really never thought I’d see him smile again. You know, from here.’ She laid a hand on her heart. ‘Are you sure you’re all right?’
I squelched the tears back down. ‘Yes. Sorry. Jet lag and overwhelm, I think.’ Again, not a lie.
‘You sit down. Have you eaten?’
‘I’m not hungry but a coffee would be great.’
‘I’ll bring you a coffee and a croissant.’
‘But I’m not—’ I stopped when I saw her face. ‘Thanks, that would be great.’
Jules smiled and kissed me on the cheek.
I still wasn’t hungry despite the enticing smells that always wafted through the café, but she was probably right. I hadn’t eaten since the plane and, with the time difference, my body clock was completely out of whack.
I sipped on the dark roast and savoured the taste, picking at the fresh, soft croissant, my mind drifting back to the night before and how things had gone from perfect to perfectly awful so fast. The café filled up around me and every time the tiny bell above the door tinkled, I half expected, and if I was honest, half wanted, Jesse to walk in, his frame filling the doorway as it always did, the smile he gave whenever he saw me and the feeling of peace and security that radiated through me when he did. But that was then.
When the door did next open, it was with a force that made everyone look up. Araminta strode in, her eyes laser focused on me.
‘Who the hell do you think you are?’
The café fell silent. I looked up at her. I wasn’t the insecure young girl she’d befriended then dropped the moment I was ‘poor’ any more.
‘I assume you’re talking to me.’ I remained seated and took another sip of my coffee.
‘Of course I’m bloody talking to you. Who the hell are you to reject an offer from Magnus Montagu-Peak?’
Now she definitely had everyone’s attention. Jules caught my eye, mouthing, ‘What offer?’ but I looked away, back at Araminta.
‘I have no wish to work with your cousin.’
‘You do realise that price was well above what anyone else would ever pay you? Not to mention putting you up in the best hotels and flying you first class. Personally, I thought it was over the top but Magnus insisted.’
‘And why would he do that? Why are you even interested in what I do and who I work with? You weren’t interested in being there for me when my family lost all their money. When I needed a friend.’
The heads swivelled back.
‘Your family didn’t lose their money. Your father spent all the money, mostly on that trollop of a stepmother.’
Back to me.
‘But you were behind Magnus coming to me with an offer.’
She stuck out a hip and put a hand on it. ‘Yes. I thought it would help.’
‘Help what, exactly, Minty?’
‘You!’
‘And why did you assume I needed help now when I’m finally settled and happy?’
‘Happy? Here?’ Her nose wrinkled at the thought. She appeared to be attempting to frown too but her Botox was having none of it.
Some of the customers exchanged dark looks.
‘Yes.’
‘Because what? You think this is your world? You think these people accept you? Don’t be so bloody ridiculous, Felicity. Money is the only thing that matters to you. That’s how you were brought up. It’s in your blood and who you’ll always be. Don’t forget I know you of old. If it wasn’t, why would you have done your utmost to claw your way back to that world? But suddenly you don’t have a price?’
I drained my coffee slowly then pushed out my chair.
‘No, Araminta, money is not the everything I once thought it was, and I’m unbelievably glad. I’ve realised that I am who I am today through my own choices. You’re right. I did think I was supposed to be a part of the world I’d been brought up in. But I’m not. Because all of it, like you, was fake. People are either useful to you or they’re not. That’s your sole reason for being what you call friends with someone. But that’s not friendship. I’ve not heard a single word from any of my so-called friends in London. It wasn’t until I moved here I realised what true friendship is and you would never, ever understand. Let’s face it, the real reason you’re here is that you couldn’t bear it, could you?’
‘What?’
‘That I was happy.’
‘I don’t care enough about you to bother whether you’re happy or not.’
‘And yet you still tried to ruin everything. How could I, poor little Felicity, who’d once been a part of your world, when I was so rudely kicked out, have the audacity to, as you put it, claw my way back in? Not content with that, when my life imploded, not only did I not roll over and beg someone to help me, but I went out and dared to find a good man and a good life. So, just like you always did at school, you found a way to try and ruin it.’
‘You were the same. Don’t go painting yourself as some angel.’
‘I agree. I was a bitch. And although it seemed like the worst thing in the world at the time, what happened back then was the best thing for me. I thought I wanted to be back in that world. That I needed to prove to everyone, and myself, that I deserved to be there. But I was never happy. I’d seen the other side then. I’d seen you and the others for what you are. Thank God for Adrian being so spineless and dumping me to marry someone with a more “reliable” lineage, because if he hadn’t, I’d have been trapped in that world.’
‘Oh, and you think this is your world now?’ She dropped her voice to a stage whisper. ‘Newsflash. It isn’t.’ Her voice rose again. ‘Your so-called friends here know, just as you do, that, when it comes down to it, it’s all about the money for you.’
‘So you thought you’d test me. See if I had a price?’
‘Everyone has a price, Felicity.’
‘No, Araminta. They don’t. You do, as does your cousin. But good, decent people don’t.’
‘You just wait. You’ll go begging to Magnus for that job. But guess what?’ She sneered. ‘You’re too late.’
‘So are you.’
‘What?’ Her face contorted, in the very small way that it could, into confusion.
‘I’m not that girl any more. You don’t intimidate me and you can’t buy me. Your family acted disgustingly towards the man I love and I would never take a single penny from them for that reason alone. But even if that wasn’t the case, I’d still have had no interest. I get to choose now and I choose not to associate myself with people like you and your cousin.’
‘Then you’re even more stupid than I thought you were. Enjoy your “life”,’ she made air quotes, ‘here. Of course, you do realise that the moment you leave, they’ll all be talking about you behind your back.’ She glanced around coldly. ‘Your so-called friends.’
‘I think you’ve said quite enough.’ Jules stepped forward. ‘You can leave now.’
‘I’ll leave when I bloody well choose to, not when some country bumpkin tells me to.’
There was a collective gasp and, from the kitchen, Jesse stepped through into the café.
‘My sister said leave. I suggest you do so.’
Araminta looked at him, then at me, and a small smile crept onto her over-plumped lips.
She might be a cow, but she’d never been slow. ‘Oh-h-h-h. So the perfect man didn’t work out for you after all, then?’
Julie’s head snapped towards me, then Jesse, but neither of us reacted.
‘That’s what you wanted, isn’t it?’ I said. ‘To break something that made someone else happy. Congratulations. But in the end, I win. I know I’m nothing like the person I was at school, a person I’m now thoroughly ashamed of. You, on the other hand,’ I walked to the door and opened it, ‘are entirely the same. Now, my friend asked you to leave.’
She glared at me for a moment, then turned and left.
I closed the door after her and felt all eyes on my back. When I turned around, Jesse had gone.
I returned to my chair, Jules watching me open-mouthed as I did so, hooked my bag onto my shoulder and left.
* * *
I’d been home nearly an hour when I glanced out to see Jules’ car hurtling down the drive. Jesse had been about to call a friend to get a quote for finally having a proper one laid, but that task was something I’d need to add to my own to-do list now.
I opened the front door as she skidded the car to a halt and got out, knowing why she was there.
‘What happened?’
‘It didn’t work out.’
‘But… but why? Was it because of all that stuff that woman said?’
‘Partly.’
‘But can’t you talk it out? You’re so good together. Jesse adores you! You can’t just walk out on him!’
‘Jules, please don’t. Don’t put this all on me.’
‘He said you told him it was over.’
‘Did he tell you why?’
‘Something about the offer.’
‘Then please, as my friend, don’t judge me until you know the whole story.’
‘Then tell me the whole story!’ she said, grabbing my arm, tears filling her eyes. ‘He was happy! You were happy!’
‘And now it’s over. I’m sorry.’
I turned away. I understood that Jules had her alliances but it still hurt.
‘You know he’s leaving.’
I spun back. ‘What?’
‘Jesse’s leaving.’
‘Where?’
She shrugged, wiping away tears with the back of her hand.
‘Where is he now?’
‘Gone home to collect his things. He came to the café to say goodbye.’
It was for the best. At least I wouldn’t have to risk running into him in the village. There was no chance of ever being ‘just friends’. Our relationship was all or nothing.
‘Did he say where he was going?’
‘No. Just away. He’d talked about going away when Alice died but this is his home and, in the end, he decided to stay, but I don’t think he’s going to change his mind this time.’
‘He’ll be back, Jules. He has a home here, a business. Not to mention you and the rest of your family.’
‘But he doesn’t have you. And that outweighs everything. Because that’s all he wanted.’
‘And he’s all I ever wanted!’ I cried back at her. ‘You know that! I never thought I’d ever be able to love, or be loved by, someone like him. I didn’t even know love like that existed until I met your brother, so don’t you dare make out that this is easy for me!’
‘I know it’s not!’ She reached out and took my hands. The heat of the last few days had been building into thick and humid air. In the distance, a rumble sounded as a breeze began to rifle the thick, green canopy of the late summer trees. ‘I know,’ she said, more softly. ‘But you need to know he won’t come back. I know my brother.’
‘Of course he will. He’s not going to walk away from everything he has here.’
‘I know him,’ she repeated. ‘He’s done. Losing Alice here was bad enough and he never expected to be happy again. He’d accepted that. And then you came along and literally knocked him off his feet.’ She laughed through her tears. ‘He’s never been the same since.’ Jules sniffed. ‘And I know he’ll never be the same again. Please, Fliss. Talk to him at least! He made a mistake and I know how much that must have hurt you. But if you think he doesn’t trust you, you’re wrong. So, so wrong! Don’t you see? He cocked up on this, yes. He’s never been able to see straight when it comes to Magnus and, honestly, probably never will, but he trusts you! I can guarantee it. And you know how I know?’ she asked, her voice louder now as the thunder got closer, big, fat droplets of rain bouncing on the ground around us. ‘Because he gave you his heart. He trusted you with something he swore he’d never give away again.’
The rain poured down, mixing with the tears on both our faces, but neither of us moved. Jules’ hands gripped mine and I wasn’t sure when but I’d curled mine back around hers. Jesse had trusted me with his heart and I’d given him mine. And the truth was, I didn’t want it back. I knew that now. All I wanted was Jesse.
‘Where is he?’
A smile broke through my friend’s tears. She held out her hand. ‘Give me the keys. I’ll drive.’