Chapter 17 #2
‘Don’t worry, I’m certainly not underestimating you,’ he said, in a relaxed tone which gave away that he was doing exactly that.
‘I’m really not sure this is necessary,’ I reiterated, giving him one last chance to back out.
‘I know you think I’m overreacting, but if you’d seen some of the cases I’ve dealt with, you’d understand why I think it’s so important,’ said Leo.
His relaxed, easy demeanour changed, his gaze becoming troubled.
I could tell that the surroundings of the gym had faded and he was seeing something completely different.
I fought the urge to soften myself against him and transform this martial arts hold into a hug, sensing that he’d prefer a slap in the face to accepting any gesture that acknowledged he was in need of comfort.
‘I’m sorry you’ve experienced things that have made you feel like this,’ I said.
‘The point is that I didn’t experience them.
’ He paused, and I waited to see if he’d trust me with more.
‘I had to deal with the aftermath, which is a special sort of helplessness,’ he added eventually.
‘I never want to see anyone goingthrough that kind of pain again, especially not someone I c—know .’ He cleared his throat.
I wondered what he’d been going to say before he changed his mind.
‘I can understand that.’
‘Which is why I want to teach you the basics of self-defence,’ he said, his voice growing stronger again.
I nodded. Perhaps it was time to respond to his honesty with some of my own. I suspected that some of what I was about to say wouldn’t come as a surprise to him, but it still felt important to mention.
‘I appreciate the kind thought, Leo, but I promise, you don’t have to worry about me.
I know you think that I’m a bit of a softy, but I can handle myself.
It’s a sad fact that this kind of stuff is ingrained into most women’s sensibilities.
Walking home with your keys between your knuckles, texting friends to let them know you’re back safely, avoiding going out by yourself after dark, otherwise known as the unofficial female curfew.
I hate that it’s this way, but we don’t even think twice about doing that kind of stuff.
I realised a while ago that I’ve been following the basics of self-defence since I was capable of independent thought. ’
He nodded. ‘All sensible precautions, and I acknowledge how frustrating it must be. And I appreciate that “frustrating” doesn’t even do justice to something so wrong.
But sometimes you need to up your game. Also, let’s be clear that I don’t think you’re a softy at all.
Actually, I think you’re an incredibly strong woman who people misjudge at their peril. ’
The internal glow I experienced at his words was almost strong enough to light up the room. But then he carried on speaking and completely undermined the compliment he’d just bestowed on me.
‘But what about situations like in the bar when that dreadful bloke wouldn’t let you go? What would have happened if I hadn’t stepped in?’
I would have shrugged, but was mindful that I was still in what was essentially an embrace with Leo and figured the minimum amount of movement I made, the better.
‘As we’ve already discussed, I was handling it fine. And you did step in, so there was nothing to worry about.’
Leo’s hold tightened. I wasn’t even sure if he was aware that he’d done it. I could feel his chest rising and falling with his breath.
‘I won’t always be there to step in,’ he said.
‘You say you were handling it, but what you were really doing was the classic thing of being polite and not wanting to make a fuss, hoping that he’d grow bored before things got even worse.
Please promise me this– in the future, make a fuss.
Don’t give a damn about who’s staring at you.
The more people the better, in truth. Make a scene, raise your voice, and if it’s still not working, get physical and defend yourself. ’
I braced my hands against his torso and tried to push myself back so I could get a better look at his expression.
‘If this is another version of the lecture about how we need to change our behaviour, rather than the perpetrator altering theirs, I’m not listening.’
Leo looked horrified. ‘Absolutely not. I would never, ever accuse anyone of provoking an attack, or suggest that they’d not done enough to fight back against one. The offender holds all responsibility for the crime.’
‘Good. Then we’re in agreement. Yes, Marc was becoming a tad handsy, and I didn’t like it. But I decided it was a price I was willing to pay because I thought I was getting somewhere.’
‘So did he,’ said Leo. ‘That was part of the problem.’
‘You’re deliberately misunderstanding me. Look, I’m touched by your concern, and I know all this is coming from a place of good intentions. But I am a grown woman, and I am more capable physically than you give me credit for.’
‘Just because you’ve read about how to defend yourself in a book, doesn’t mean you can do it in real life,’ he hit back.
‘Let me help you arm yourself with some basic skills. You enlisted me for this ridiculous scheme because you wanted my professional guidance. This is one of the times where you should be taking it.’
I frowned. This was clearly a situation where I had to show rather than just tell.
‘Okay,’ I said, acting as if I was giving up on the argument. ‘I have no desire to hurt you, but if you won’t believe me, then I guess there’s only one way to settle this.’
He looked relieved. ‘Don’t worry about hurting me. That’s the object of the game. And I?—’
‘If you’re about to say you doubt I could do that, think again, Mister,’ I said, hooking my leg around his ankle and using the element of surprise to knock him off balance and reverse our positions so I was the one now holding him in place.
‘Nice moves,’ he grunted, as I placed my right hand on his throat.
I didn’t apply any pressure, but the warning was there.
He might be pretending to be impressed, but my unexpected show of strength had certainly caused his adrenalin to kick in, judging by how rapidly his pulse was beating under my palm.
For a couple of seconds, I revelled in my superiority, then, without any warning, my own leg hook move was used against me and I found myself tumbling towards the crash mat on the ground.
But just as I was bracing myself for impact, Leo grabbed me around the waist and pulled me back against him, this time with my back to his chest.
‘Never underestimate your opponent’s strength,’ I said, trying to keep my voice steady as if I was passing comment on the weather.
It came out breathier than I’d intended, which I blamed on the fact that I was once again held tight against six foot something of solid man.
I briefly closed my eyes to get myself together, then suddenly pitched myself forward and equally as quickly let myself go limp, making him stagger.
He only just managed to stop himself tumbling, but succeeded in rallying speedily enough to grab me before I broke free, and heaved me back into a close embrace.
‘Precisely,’ said Leo. ‘And judging by the way you demonstrated that pearl of wisdom when tackling me, I’m guessing that your understanding of it has not solely come from books.’
I jabbed back with my elbow, pulling the full impact so I didn’t wind the guy. I could tell that he was still going easy on me and it was only fair that I afforded him the same courtesy. He wouldn’t be any use to the investigation if he was incapacitated by my self-defence moves at full strength.
‘You guess correctly.’
Leo responded by leaning backwards, effortlessly lifting me off my feet.
I could feel the vibration of his laughter against my back.
I could have got myself out of the situation by a couple of sharp kicks backwards, followed by a repeat of the passive resistance move, but if I was being completely honest with myself, there was an element of enjoyment in being lifted by him so easily.
It was at odds with my feminist principles, but a girl’s got to get her thrills where she can find them.
‘You are full of surprises. Go on, then. Tell me more,’ he urged against my ear. ‘How did you acquire your secret ninja skills?’
‘The university is running an evening course on the women’s liberation movement,’ I explained. ‘Have you ever heard of suffrajitsu?’
‘Actually no, but I think I know where you might be going with this.’
‘It’s a technique which the suffragettes used during the fight for— That’s completely underhand.’ My explanation finished in a yelp because I suddenly found myself flipped around and pinned down on the floor with Leo bracing himself mere centimetres above me.
‘Never forget the importance of the element of surprise,’ he said, looking thoroughly pleased with himself. ‘Ready to use your safe word yet?’
I assessed my situation and realised I was trapped. There was probably something I could do to get myself out of the hold, but my mind wasn’t working at full capacity, rendered somewhat fuzzy by this far too intimate position.
I opened my mouth, ready to say, ‘Darcy’, but instead found myself saying something else completely.
‘Maybe I don’t want to use it.’