Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
H ere it was. The moment where he ever so kindly let me down and explained that he could never be interested in me that way. I couldn’t bear to hear him say the words and then spend the rest of the day pretending that everything was fine.
‘All in good time,’ I said in an overly bright tone.
‘I think we need to concentrate on talking tactics right now. What do you think the best way is of us getting around the course? Do we stick together, or divide and conquer? We might find out more information by splitting up. We can pretend to be struggling over the obstacles as a means of starting conversations with people. I’ll certainly have no problem in making that seem realistic, and you can have a listen to one of Brian’s voice notes before we set off, so you know who to keep your ears open for. Does that sound like a decent plan?’
I glanced down at the obstacle course map again, staring at the route to try to regain my composure.
‘Divide and conquer? I’m not sure I agree,’ said Leo.
‘I figure if we stick together then we’ll spend less time worrying about making it around the course in one piece, plus we’ll be able to focus on asking questions and observing the other runners.
That’s what makes most sense from an investigative point of view, anyway. ’
‘I suppose so. Whatever’s best for the investigation,’ I agreed, wishing that his reason for wanting to stick together had been a little more personal.
‘I’m sure there’ll be plenty of electricity between us on our way round,’ said Leo.
I looked up in confusion.
‘The “Shocker”,’ he said, pointing at an obstacle on the route map, illustrated by a skeleton with a lightning rod of electricity aimed right at its skull from a lethal-looking frayed cable.
‘You’re doing that one first,’ I said. ‘It’s what the suffragettes would have advised.’
Leo merely nodded in agreement rather than taking the opportunity to tease me further.
Logically, I knew that the organisers wouldn’t be allowed to put anything genuinely dangerous on the course but, given the way they’d let at least one fraudster operate within their supposedly safe environment, I wasn’t sure I trusted their ability to follow health and safety guidelines.
A crackly announcement interrupted the rave music.
‘Ladies and gentlemen, this is your five-minute warning. The Love Can Overcome Any Obstacle (Course) event is starting shortly. Now’s your last opportunity for nervous wees and Dutch courage, although hopefully not at the same time.
We’ll see you and your future Significant Others at the start line. Oggy oggy oggy…’
A few half-hearted ‘Oi oi oi!’ responses were shouted back, but most people were heeding the advice of the organiser and hurrying to the Portaloos.
‘Dutch courage? I’m not sure that’s going to do anyone any good,’ I muttered. ‘Although, right now, I can see the appeal of sinking into an alcoholic haze. I can’t believe you talked me into doing this.’
Leo took a slurp from his water bottle then offered it to me before he answered.
‘Nice re-writing of history there, Fisher. I don’t seem to recall you making any objections when I suggested it.’
That was because I hadn’t wanted to appear like a wuss.
‘Hmm. Well, next time, I’m going to pick the event,’ I said.
‘Then I shall look forward to attending the SO Ox Book Club,’ he said. ‘I’m sure it’ll be all very civilised. What books do you think we’ll have to read? Romances all the way, I expect. I’ll ask Doris for some recommendations.’
‘She’ll have many,’ I said. ‘But I don’t want to think of a scammer using novels to seduce unsuspecting women. I like to believe book people are generally good people.’
Leo smiled. ‘I don’t know; I’d have thought fiction would be right up his street. We’ll keep our eyes open. Now, do you want to have a quick practice of the best technique to get over the walls before we set off?’
I responded with a haughty look. ‘I’m sure we’ll be fine improvising once we get there.’
* * *
What I hadn’t thought through properly before I signed up to this event was quite how physical it would turn out to be. It soon became apparent that the only way we were going to be able to get around the course was by doing a fair bit of climbing, and that wasn’t just of the obstacles.
I stared up at the fifteen-foot wooden fence in front of me.
‘I can’t see any hand holds on it, can you?’
Leo put his hands on his hips. ‘Nope, that looks pretty smooth to me. Perhaps we should try another approach. If I squat against the fence, you can clamber up my legs, then onto my shoulders, then I’ll stand and you should be able to get to the top that way.’
I blinked. Using Leo as a human climbing frame could get me into all kinds of trouble.
‘Maybe if I take a bit of a run at the fence,’ I said, pretending I hadn’t heard his suggestion. The speed technique had seemed to work for the guy to my left who had leapt over the barrier with the elegance and ease of Spiderman.
‘Be my guest,’ said Leo taking a step back and crossing his arms across his chest as he surveyed me. ‘I’ll enjoy this,’ I thought I heard him add under his breath. I shot him an annoyed glance to which he responded with an expression of offended innocence.
I walked a few paces away and once again stared at the fence.
‘They wouldn’t have put it there if it wasn’t possible to get over it,’ I told myself. I managed to overpower Leo during our self-defence class; I could do anything I put my mind to.
I charged forward, at a pace I hadn’t used since my one and only time as a member of my school’s relay race team, and then flung myself at the fence.
In my head, I’d seen myself effortlessly darting up the side like a parkour specialist, gripping the top, then climbing over with ease, with Leo applauding admiringly from afar, regretting that he’d ever doubted me.
What actually happened was that I went splat against the fence like a fly against a windscreen, emitted a strangled cry that went something like ‘Nrfghhhh’ and then fell backwards into Leo’s arms. In truth, saying I fell into Leo’s arms makes it sound much more elegant and ladylike than it was.
In reality, I thumped into him with all the grace of a bag of potatoes, completely knocking the wind out of him and causing him to stumble and fall backwards onto the ground with me sprawled out on top.
Leo let out a similar noise to the cry I’d made when I hit the obstacle. I twisted round so I was facing him.
‘Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?’
When he didn’t answer, I decided to check for a pulse, then ran my hands gently over his face as I continued my efforts to find any sign of life. Why hadn’t I paid more attention in the library first aid session?
‘Leo, can you hear me?’
I moved my ear to his mouth, straining to hear the sound of him breathing.
‘I must say that’s an unusual approach to delivering the kiss of life,’ said Leo, his words sounding more laboured than usual.
‘Are you okay?’ I asked urgently.
He finally opened his eyes and looked at me.
‘When they advertised the obstacle course as a way of getting to know other people, I hadn’t envisaged we’d end up becoming quite so closely acquainted with each other.’
I suddenly became hyper-aware of our position.
It was like being back in the gym, only this time our positions were reversed.
My boobs were crushed against the hard planes of his chest, my hands braced either side of his head, while my legs were wrapped around his waist. I tried to steer my mind away from the close proximity of other parts of our anatomy, but it seemed irritatingly reluctant to obey my orders.
My breathing grew unsteady. I really hoped Leo attributed that to my fall rather than anything else.
I cleared my throat and tried to roll to the side, but I hadn’t thought through the move properly and ended up taking Leo with me as my legs were still wrapped around him.
‘You have quite the grip,’ he said gruffly.
‘Sorry, really sorry,’ I said, awkwardly trying to disentangle myself but making things a whole lot worse. I prayed he couldn’t feel how rapidly my pulse was going.
Somewhere in the distance, I thought I heard someone wolf-whistle at us, followed by the sound of a camera shutter firing rapidly.
‘I think we might be about to become the poster children for this event,’ said Leo. I could feel the rumble of his laughter against my stomach.
‘Can this get any more humiliating?’ I groaned. With one last effort, I managed to extricate myself from our compromising position and rolled onto my back so we were lying side by side.
‘I can finally breathe again,’ said Leo, throwing his arms out. One of his hands ended up resting casually on my stomach in a manner which just felt right. ‘Shall we stay here like this for the rest of the event? It’s pretty comfortable.’
But before I could answer his question or wonder more about the meaning behind it, I heard it: an unmistakably familiar voice.
Only instead of being used to leave a seductive voice note full of fake declarations of devotion, this time it sounded strident as it urged someone to use their upper body strength to haul themselves up the fence we’d just failed to get over.
‘Brian James!’