Chapter 29
Chapter Twenty-Nine
I took a deep breath and savoured the vanilla-sweet smell of ageing paper.
I always thought better surrounded by books, and the newly opened Oxford Bookship, which was moored by Isis Lock, seemed the perfect place to consider my next course of action.
The canal boat’s main cabin was crammed to the brim with an eclectic mix of new and second-hand volumes, and I instantly felt calmer standing in the embrace of so many words of wisdom and comfort.
‘Are you looking for something in particular?’ The friendly proprietor called through the doors from the deck where she was sitting in the early evening sunshine with an extremely large and very hairy dog.
‘Just browsing,’ I said.
‘Sorry to disturb. It’s my first week of doing this, and I still haven’t worked out whether it’s best to leave the browsers well alone or try to point them in the direction of something interesting.
And now I’m disturbing you still further.
You should complain to the manager.’ She looked about her then pointed at her chest. ‘Which would be me, Molly.’
I laughed. ‘It’s nice to meet you, Molly. Your bookshop is beautiful.’
She smiled proudly. ‘Thank you. I love her, but then again, I’m biased.
I was hoping the novelty factor of a bookshop on a boat might attract a few more sales, but it’s early days.
’ Then she put her hand over her mouth. ‘Sorry, that sounded like I was trying to guilt-trip you into buying something, which was really not my intention. Ignore me, I promise to shut up now.’
I took pity on her. ‘Perhaps you could recommend something, after all.’
She jumped up eagerly, and hurried down to join me in the cabin, the dog following her closely.
‘Don’t worry, Hilda’s very friendly. Now, what are you in the mood for?’
I scratched Hilda’s wiry coat, grinning at the grunt of appreciation I got in return.
‘I’m not sure. That’s not very helpful, I know.’ I paused, then decided there wasn’t any harm in asking. ‘Actually, what I’m looking for is something to help me feel confident ahead of an important conversation.’
Leo had once said to me, ‘Romeo and Juliet could have solved all their issues by just having a good chat.’ I knew that was what I needed to do. The prospect of laying my feelings bare and exposing myself in that way still felt utterly terrifying. But I was resolved to find the courage to do it.
Molly frowned thoughtfully. ‘A challenge. I like it.’
She bustled along the shelves, happily humming to herself for a few minutes while I continued to enjoy some dog therapy courtesy of Hilda.
I was fully expecting Molly to recommend a self-help book, so I was surprised when she turned round and presented me with a paperback of Gaudy Night .
‘It may seem a random selection,’ she said, ‘but I think the leading lady, Harriet Vane, is a great example of a strong woman who knows her own mind.’
Molly had unwittingly made the perfect choice for me. After all, Harriet Vane’s example had inspired me to embark on my investigation and been the catalyst for the start of my partnership with Leo. I held the book close to me and felt my determination grow.
‘Thank you, this is just what I needed. I’ll take it.’
* * *
The next morning, I was tired but full of nervous anticipation, having spent most of the night lying awake rehearsing what I would say to Leo when I saw him in the library. What I hadn’t expected was for him not to show up.
‘You could call him,’ suggested Moira, when she caught me lingering in the business section for the third time in as many hours.
‘I could,’ I said, straightening the chairs as if the reason Leo was a no-show was because the library furniture was askew.
‘But?’ prompted Moira.
‘But I’ve only just recovered from a relationship which was conducted entirely remotely, and yes, I know it wasn’t even a real relationship, but the principle still stands.
I want to be face-to-face with Leo when I talk to him.
Some things need to be said in person, rather than over the phone or by text. ’
Moira squeezed my arm. ‘That’s fair enough.
But there’s nothing stopping you from arranging to meet up with him, rather than waiting and hoping for him to pop back in.
Message and ask him to come to the library.
You’ll feel much better once you’ve taken some positive action.
Besides, your fan club here feels invested in the outcome; you’ve got to give us something.
We’re all on tenterhooks.’ She winked at me.
I knew Moira was teasing me, and that she’d do her best to keep Doris and the gang from gawping too openly, but her words came rushing back to me when Leo finally arrived at the library on Friday morning.
By this stage, I’d about convinced myself that his conspicuous absence over the last few days had been because he was making the most of being able to be with Jill, now that he no longer had to spend all of his free time running around with me trying to solve the Brian mystery.
I’d managed to instigate a brief text message exchange under the pretext of arranging when I could help him with his business plan and formally introduce him to Doris for the mentorship I’d promised him, but his answers had been frustratingly brief, and now I was worried that I’d given the wrong impression that this was the only reason I was still in touch with him.
That fear crystallised when he approached the front desk.
‘How are you?’ I said, my heart thumping in my chest. ‘You’ve been missed around here. I’ve missed you.’
‘I thought you might be enjoying some peace and quiet without me cluttering up the business section.’
‘I’d kind of got used to having you around. Especially since you stopped putting your feet up on the furniture.’
I smiled at him but, although he smiled back, his face didn’t light up as much as it usually did.
‘I won’t keep you long,’ he said.
‘Oh.’ What I wanted to say was that he could keep me as long as he wanted, but there was already a queue starting to form behind him, and Moira and my other colleagues were nowhere to be seen, so I couldn’t linger with him without starting a library revolt.
If it had been Doris or Gavin in the queue, it would have been a different story, but I recognised some of the more truculent retired academics from the seniors’ social media club and knew I would delay serving them at my peril.
Sure enough, one of them cleared his throat and looked pointedly at the large clock on the wall, tapping his foot impatiently on the ground, in case I hadn’t got the message.
‘If you can wait half an hour, it’ll be my lunch break and we can take a look at that business plan we were discussing earlier,’ I said to Leo, trying to sound professional in front of my increasingly tetchy audience, while attempting to convey through glances that there was much more that I wanted to talk to him about. But he seemed oblivious to my signals.
‘Maybe some other time,’ he said, in a tone which I feared implied never. My heart twisted painfully.
‘Sure, no problem.’ I forced a note of jollity into my voice. ‘How can I help you now?’
‘I need to return some books.’
‘Okay, let me check them back in for you.’
I scanned the bar codes, taking my time over the transaction, and praying for Moira to return so she could take over and I could drag Leo off for a private word. But, as I got to the final volume, there was still no sign of the cavalry.
The computer bleeped a warning.
‘Aren’t you going to make him pay his fine?’ asked the grumpy academic as I quickly silenced the alert.
‘Sorry, I’ve been meaning to bring it back for a while now, but I got caught up with other stuff,’ said Leo. ‘Here, this should cover it.’
He slid a folded five-pound note across the counter.
‘Keep the change,’ he added, before turning on his heel and marching out of the library so fast, it was as if the fire alarm had sounded.
‘But it’s far too much,’ I tried to call after him, but the heavy double doors had already swung shut behind him.
I opened the till and, as I unfolded the fiver to put it into the drawer, a note of a different kind fell out and onto the floor. I scooped it up and stuffed it into my pocket.
I dealt with the queries from the queue on automatic pilot, my mind on what the note might say.
As soon as Moira reappeared, I darted into the depths of the library, taking refuge in the romance section to read Leo’s message in peace, hoping that the love in the books surrounding me would find its way into the real world.
However, the note seemed to be focused on the investigation, written in a typical Leo style: short and to the point.
Dear Kat,
Forgive the somewhat old-fashioned method of communication, but I thought SO Ox might have put you off the virtual kind.
It certainly has me. Sid’s tipped me off that the police are planning to pick Dom up at the next event– the Date My Mate do at the Botanic Garden tomorrow.
How about one final outing together undercover?
I’m guessing you’ll say yes, so see you there.
Time to end this charade once and for all.
Take care,
Leo xx
It wasn’t quite the Captain Wentworth-style declaration I’d been dreaming about, and the mention of ‘one final outing together’ concerned me.
I tried to take some hope from his affectionate sign off but, all in all, the note made me doubtful how Leo would react when I told him how I felt. But there was only one way to find out.