46. Elijah
6 Months Later- EPILOGUE
Ionly made it six weeks after that night in the hospital before I popped the question to Charlie, with Theo’s permission, of course. I was more nervous to ask him than I was his mother. After everything that happened with his dad, I was worried he would be protective over Charlie and not want anyone to burst their safety bubble. When I spoke to him, the first thing he asked was if he could have a swing set in the backyard. That boy could have a whole damn playground if it meant I got to keep him and Charlie in my life permanently.
If it was up to me, I would have taken Charlie to the courthouse the second she said yes, but she wanted to wait and plan a wedding.
I wanted to have a quiet wedding at a courthouse while she wanted a bigger wedding with all our friends and family. We compromised and planned a big wedding with all of our friends and family. As long as I was around, Charlie would get everything she ever wanted. There was nothing I wouldn’t do to keep a smile on her face.
She brought out parts of me that had been buried for years, some parts of me I never knew existed at all. Our house was filled with music at all times and I loved it. She loved me despite all of my faults and my anxieties. A couple weeks after we left the hospital, she helped me find a therapist to talk through a lot of my guilt around losing my dad. Talking about him and what happened helped better than I ever could ever have imagined. For years, I refused to talk about him at all. It was definitely an adjustment to then talk about it with a stranger, no less. Charlie came with me to every single session; I don’t think I could have done it without her. It felt good to talk about him, not just the bad stuff but the good, too. At family dinners we spoke about him, talked about all the good times with him. Sometimes I felt like he was in the room with us. He would have loved Charlie and Theo. I know that for certain.
After I started going to therapy, I visited his grave. I hadn’t been there since the funeral. I wanted to apologise to him, I knew now that it wasn’t my fault.
I was just a kid. If I had taken on that attacker, there was every chance I’d be six feet under, too. I went to apologise to him for wasting the years after. He may have been the one who died, but I was the one who stopped living. I promised him I would change that, I would no longer waste days like I used to. I would make the most of all the moments I had left, every moment with my new family. I knew now I had no way of controlling everything, only how I react to it. I wished it hadn’t taken me fifteen years to realise that.
I always thought I’d be freaked out on my wedding day. Maybe I’d get cold feet and Lucas would have to talk me down. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Today is the best day of my life. Today is the day Charlie Miller is going to become my wife. The girls were all staying the night before at my mother’s house, so it was just Lucas, Theo, and I at home. We had converted my old office into Theo’s room temporarily. Lucas had been fixing up the apartment above his auto shop to move into, so Theo would be moving into his room soon. I told Lucas there was no rush to leave, but he kindly informed me the walls were pretty thin and he was quite happy to move out and give us our space.
I was the first person down in the morning. My eyes lingering over my piano as I drank my coffee. I used to play to calm myself down, but now I play because I enjoy it. Sitting down I allowed my fingers to play a few keys to pass the time before the morning really began.
It wasn’t long until both Lucas and Theo were downstairs and we were getting dressed into our suits. Lucas was cat walking up and down the hallway in his.
“You know, this is definitely the sexiest I have ever looked,” he said as he paused to look at himself in the mirror. I rolled my eyes and continued to help Theo with his tie. Soon, we were all ready and just waiting for the car to pick us up.
“You feeling good?” Lucas asked me. “No cold feet?”
“My feet aren’t even a little bit cold,” I said, shaking my head. I reached into my pocket, making sure the picture was still there as I pulled it out. My eyes looked directly in my fathers in the picture. I turned it round to show Lucas. He responded by pulling a copy of another photo out of his own pocket making me smile.
“Alice, Ma, and Charlie have one in their necklaces, too,” he said.
“I wish he was here for this.” I sucked in a breath.
“He is here for it, Eli. We’re all carrying him around so he can see all of it. He’s not going to miss a thing, I promise.” The pictures were Charlie’s idea. She and I also had one of her grandparents on our persons, as well. She said if we carried their pictures around, it would be like they were with us. I wanted to believe that was true. I wanted more than anything to have him with me today. Lucas pulled me in for a hug and I held him tightly.
“I’m proud of you, Eli. I’m really happy for you. For both of you,” he said as he pulled away.
“Thank you. Your time will be here before you know it,” I teased.
“Yeah, right. I don’t think I’ll ever be getting married.” He scoffed. “I’m happy being the cool, fun uncle to Violet and Theo.” We all turned to face the door at the sound of a car pulling up.
“We all ready?” I asked.
“Ready,” Theo and Lucas said in unison.
“Let’s go get you married, big brother,” Lucas said, slapping me on the back as he passed.
I waited as long as I could to head to the front of the altar. I wanted people’s eyes on me as little as possible. I felt my phone buzz and pulled it out to turn it off, but the text caught my eye.
Alice: I bet you $100 that you’re going to cry your eyes out when you see how beautiful your bride is.
Alice: Love you, Eli. You deserve this.
I couldn’t wait to see her and it wasn’t long until I got to. It felt like an out of body moment when the registrar asked everyone to stand. I was glad I didn’t take that bet with Alice, because my wallet would have been $100 lighter. I had just about managed to pull myself together by the time we got to the vows.
I cleared my throat before speaking, my hands in Charlie’s. I didn’t think she could get more beautiful, but here she was.
“You showed me a letter not long after we first met that your grandpa wrote,” I began. I was nervous at all the people listening and looking at me, but I kept my breath steady. I kept my focus on her. “He asked you not to settle for any less than you deserve, to be with someone who would fight to make you happy, to make you smile.” I let out a breath before continuing.
“Charlie, I promise you that I will spend every single day of my life giving you everything you deserve. I will fight to keep that smile on your face. You and Theo are my world.” I turned to look at Theo standing next to Lucas. “You know as well as I do that life is short, but I plan on making the most of every single minute life gives me with you. I love you, Charlie, and I always will.”