Chapter Eight #2
She closed the door and leaned back against it, clutching the book to her chest. She’d kissed him again.
How could she do that? Why did she do it?
It was as if she wasn’t Lady Sophie Howard of Dowling, but someone else.
Someone she didn’t know. It was as if she’d become a character in one of her stories.
Though she thought her boldness resembled Rosalind, that character would not kiss a near stranger.
Pushing away from the door, she shook her head and walked to her flower-covered settee beneath her window.
She placed the book on it next to her and stared at it as if it could tell her what mischief was being played upon her.
She could not blame Rose for finding herself once more in Tamworth’s arms. It had all started with the domino—no, with her being in the corridor when Lord Tamworth strode out of the billiard room. So it all began with him.
Torn between wishing to know more about him and not wanting to encounter him ever again, she rose from the settee, leaving his book there as if she could leave all thoughts of him with it.
She would not read his book now. She should return to Paradise Lost, since it appeared she’d indeed lost her way.
Then she and Mrs. Kingman could begin discussing it.
Or she could continue with Frankenstein, or even finish the Mysteries of Udolpho, which would better keep her wandering mind on task.
But as she moved around her bed to the stack of books on her fireplace mantel, she lifted The Illustrated Pleasures of Seduction from beneath the other three.
Even as she sat in the chair at her dressing table, she felt guilty, but couldn’t resist the need to know more.
Opening the large tome, she turned to the last page she’d viewed, page twenty-three.
Seeing the clothing of both people about the floor, she now understood why she’d wanted her clothes off as Lord Tamworth kissed her.
It was what happened between men and women.
The duchess had explained copulation, but had not mentioned the feelings that accompanied it.
Did she do so for ladies who were betrothed?
Sophie could never ask the duchess that, so she turned the page.
The illustration revealed the woman, naked, lying on the bed, looking upon the naked man.
There was something not right about continuing to think of them as the man and the woman.
She needed them to be characters like in all her literature.
From now on, she’d think of the woman as Rosalind and the man as, as… Tam.
In her own mind, she enjoyed being bold like Gulliver, or whimsical like Puck, or brave like King Arthur. No one need ever know all the wonderful experiences she’d had in her imagination.
Excited once more, she studied the sketch again. Tam was broad shouldered and seemed rather strong. No doubt he was a rower or rider. Yes, that was what his hobby was. That part of him that could bring about children stood out from his body in preparation for copulation.
Rosalind was much smaller than Tam, but she appeared to find him acceptable, as her hand was held out to him. Rosalind appeared well proportioned, her long hair loose about her, strands cascading down between her bare breasts. Maybe Rosalind was a widow and pleased to have a new man in her bed.
Happy with her story, Sophie turned the page and stared, heat filling her as Tam was depicted sucking on the breast of Rosalind, who in turn held his erection in her hand.
Sophie set her hand upon her chest as her own nipples grew sensitive beneath her dress.
It was the same feeling she’d had every time Lord Tamworth had kissed her.
But he hadn’t actually sucked upon her. Despite her surprise, she wanted to know what it was like.
Was that where he’d been headed when he kissed the swell of her breast?
A spike of desire caught her by surprise, making her shift in her chair.
That was why she wished to take off her clothes.
She’d wanted him to lick and suck at her.
He’d had the perfect opportunity. In her heart, she knew she wouldn’t have stopped him.
To feel that just once would have been divine, though terribly wrong.
I want more of you, but I will not take what is not mine to have.
His words echoed through her conscience and she closed the book hard.
He was far more honorable than she. Once again, she was weak.
Unhappy with herself as usual, she returned the book to her mantel.
Determinedly, she picked up Beowulf and set it on the end table next to her bed.
It was best if she read what would further her studies.
Maybe in the future, she could come back to Silver Meadows and be a guest lecturer. Since being a wife and mother was not—
The knock at her door was followed by Georgie sweeping in. “Here you are. I thought you were lost among the bookcases. You wouldn’t believe what I saw outside today.” She flounced down on the settee.
Sophie moved to her bed and sat to face her friend. “What did you see?”
“A cedar waxwing! It’s the first I’ve seen all winter. And he was a puffy little fellow, very full of himself.”
“Where did you see him?” Since Georgie wandered all over the estate with her mentor, it could be anywhere.
“Why, right along the main drive. Mrs. Evans and I were hurrying inside when he flew right by us and landed in a bush, of all things. I think he wanted to be sure I spotted him.”
“How wonderful. I know how much you like to be sure to find your usual birds.”
Georgie, never one to sit for long, bounced up again.
“Indeed, I do. This year, Mrs. Evans says we need to choose a couple that are here year-round and study their daily lives. I’ll go over my list from this year and decide which ones would be best. It would be very enjoyable to see babies being born, flying away, and building their own nest. But then again, I probably won’t be here next year to see the new generation.
” She hugged the bedpost, a secret smile on her face.
Georgie was very easy to read, so Sophie asked what her friend was hoping for. “Why won’t you be here next year?”
“I’m very sure I’ll be married!”
This wasn’t the first time Georgie had thought she would be married, but Sophie still smiled encouragingly. “How wonderful. Who is he?”
Georgie held the post with one hand and leaned out, her other hand against her heart. “He’s the most aristocratic man I’ve ever met, and I’m quite sure he’s in love with me. Lord Ashfield, whom I met at Ellie’s ball.”
“Yes, I believe you danced with him.” He’d also danced with four other women, but Sophie kept that to herself.
“I did. Then, after dinner, he came to find me again and we walked the room.”
Sophie frowned, not pleased that she’d missed Georgie’s being accompanied by the lord. “I’m sure your parents were pleased.”
Georgie was back to hugging the bedpost. “I hope they are. He’s only a viscount. But…” Georgie scanned the room before leaning closer and lowering her voice. “While Mother and Father were talking to the duke and duchess, Lord Ashfield led me out onto the terrace briefly and he kissed me!”
Sophie stared in shock, about to admonish Georgie, when her own activity that night had her swallowing her words. “And do you think he did so because he’s infatuated with you?”
Georgie let go of the bedpost and dropped down on the settee once again. “I’m sure of it. He even told me he would call as soon as we were in Town.” She jumped up again and moved to the window. “I will miss Silver Meadows and everyone here.”
Though she was far from experienced with kisses, Sophie wasn’t as sure that Lord Ashfield was in love.
Lord Tamworth had kissed her three times, but she did not see him as infatuated.
Then again, he had not promised to call on her, either.
That would be difficult, since they both resided under the same roof. “I will miss you very much.”
Georgie spun around. “Oh, just because I will be married, doesn’t mean you can’t come to me for anything. I will always be your friend. I promise you. You will just have to visit me as the new Lady Ashfield.”
“I would love to.” Sophie nodded, despite her misgivings about Georgie’s beliefs. Her friend was as anxious to leave her home and wed as Sophie was to avoid doing so. Then what did that say about Lord Tamworth’s kisses?
Georgie’s gaze, which was never still, suddenly stopped. “Oh, we must go or we’ll be late for dinner.”
“Of course.” Sophie rose and hurried to her dressing table to tuck in the loose strands of her hair, as was her habit.
As she looked at herself in the mirror, she stared at the mess her hair had become, most likely while Lord Tamworth had been kissing her.
Blushing, she quickly undid her hair and re-pinned it.
“Come, Sophie. You don’t have to be perfect. It’s not as if we’ll have any men about, except Lord Sommerset.”
She finished her hair then followed Georgie out of her room.
It wasn’t until that moment that she realized Rose hadn’t come for them as she usually did.
Hoping her friend was not setting a prank, Sophie reassured herself with the fact that Lord Tamworth had been duly warned.
Her conscience at rest, she would need to no longer come near him.
Pleased that her course was set, she strode into the student dining room confident in her ability to forget all about Lord Tamworth and his kisses.