23. Brent
23
Brent
A s soon as Joey’s heat surrounds me, I pause to savor the moment.
This. This is what I’ve needed all week.
She tries to pull me closer, using her arms and legs to compel me to move. Instead I cup her face and lean away to look at her. Her eyes are half-closed, her lips parted.
It’s as if, once I’ve met the clawing need to claim her, I can take a breath and enjoy the moment.
And I intend to enjoy it. Ready to continue, I move my hands to her hips. I withdraw slowly and am about to thrust back in so I can feel her, so fucking hot and tight around me, when she pulls back and puts a hand on my chest.
“Wait.”
Wait? What? Why?
“Did you have sex with anyone while you were away?”
Huh? I’m having a hard time processing her words. My mind and body are focused on where we’re joined. I’m straining to hold still when all I want to do is fuck her until we both explode.
“Did you?” she repeats.
“Baby, does it feel like I did? I’m dying here.”
“That’s not an answer. Were you with anyone else?”
Fuck me. It’s a full-on inquisition. How can she carry on a conversation right now? Obviously she isn’t as turned on as I want her to be. I push against her, making sure to hit that spot I’ve discovered makes her gasp, rolling a nipple at the same time. Her breath catches and I feel a moment of triumph. Short-lived because she is still talking, though her breathing is fast and uneven.
“Brent, if you can’t swear to me you haven’t had sex with anyone else, then we can’t continue.”
I almost growl in frustration. There is no fucking way we’re stopping. I have to hurry this along. “Jesus, Josie. There wasn’t anyone else, I swear. I barely had time to breathe on this trip.” My gaze pleads with her to believe me so I can sink back into her. She stares back at me, searching for something.
“Okay.”
Her softly uttered word barely registers, but the tightening of her legs around my hips, drawing me deep inside her again, has me mentally shouting a hallelujah! I pull her close again, palming her ass. “Hold on, baby,” I tell her, then carry her, still joined with me, to her bed.
She moans and kisses me. I slow down, hoping I don’t trip over something in the dim interior and knock us both to the ground. Moving toward the light from her sleeping area, I reach her bed and sit down on the edge, with her on my lap, her legs still wrapped around me.
My body goes into motion, making up for the last few moments. I drive into her, pulling her hips down to meet it.
She takes over the rhythm in no time, rising and falling over me without any help, leaving my hands free to roam down her long back, over the curve of her ass to her toned thighs. Moving my hands back to her hips, I increase my pace until, frantic for release, I flip us both over so she is under me. Straightening, I hook her legs over my arms before I continue driving into her.
She’s close, her fingers digging into my forearms signaling just how close.
“Open your eyes, baby.” I pull almost all the way out and stop, my dick screaming at me to keep going. “Look at me, Josie.”
When her eyelids flutter open and her gaze focuses on mine, I thrust back in, then hold still as I watch her fall apart.
So fucking beautiful.
When her pulse slows around my aching cock, I pull away, ignoring her surprised protest. I flip her onto her stomach, pulling her ass up so I can slide back into her pussy. She looks at me over her shoulder and I smile. “One of my fantasies.”
And it’s better than my imagination. Despite my punishing pace, focusing solely on my pleasure, I try to hold on, never wanting to stop.
“Good girl,” I tell her, when she matches my rhythm, meeting my every thrust.
Her whimpers tell me she’s close. I’m even closer. I slow down so I can take her with me to the end.
“No, don’t stop! Faster!”
“I won’t last, baby.” Wanting her with me to the end, I slide one hand between her legs and the other to her breasts. I roll and pinch her clit and her nipple.
“Ohmigod, Brent!” she cries out, tightening around my cock.
Yes, I feel like a fucking god.
I grab her hips and pound into her, unable to hold on a second longer. I push into her one last time and curve my body over her back, my face buried in her flower-scented hair.
Way fucking better than any fantasy.
Moving her tangled hair off to the side, I kiss her neck, her shoulder, the top of her spine, and collapse with her, spent, onto the mattress. Careful to keep most of my weight off her, I rest my forehead between her shoulder blades, my mouth pressed against her warm, damp skin. Her muscles ripple under my lips when she stirs.
“Nice fantasy,” she murmurs.
I shift, pulling away and standing to take care of the condom. “Nice? I’ll have to come up with something better.”
“I think I’ll have a heart attack if it gets any better.” She rolls over and smiles at me in satisfaction, flushed and fucking gorgeous. Her eyes widen and she tenses when she realizes I’m scanning her nude body. Her fingers grip the covers under her, but she doesn’t scramble to hide beneath them.
Progress. I wonder how long it will be before she overcomes that shyness, not that I mind. It’s adorable and sexy.
When I come back from the bathroom, she’s sitting up in bed with the sheet safely wrapped around her magnificent breasts. I shake my head and sit next to her, leaning against the flimsy headboard. Needing her close, I wrap an arm around her shoulders and pull her to me. Her big brown eyes gaze at me with a look that makes my chest ache.
Fuck. It’s time to have the talk I should have had before the sex. The phenomenal, out-of-this-world, never-better sex. Sex that I may never have with her ever again. I’ll be lucky if she even says another word to me after this conversation.
But first, I take a moment to just drink in the sight of her. I push away the tendrils of hair sticking to her still damp temples and cup her jaw, rubbing my thumb over the cleft in her chin. She’s so fucking beautiful and doesn’t even know it. Her bastard father really did a number on her confidence. All the bullshit about her height and breast size would have been nothing if he’d stuck around and told her she was good enough, perfect just the way she was, and didn’t need to replace her with a son.
Despite all that, she’s strong and independent, capable and smart. She put herself through school, got two degrees, and has a bunch of initials after her name. She’s fucking brilliant. But she still doesn’t believe in herself.
I’m fucking scared I’m going to hammer another blow to her confidence with my words. But I have to say them and try to reassure her that it’s me, not her. Fuck, how lame does that sound?
It’s me, baby, not you.
Right. A new plan of attack before I fumble the ball and lose her. Think fast, Hutch.
I haven’t been this nervous since I took the field for the first time as an NFL player. Taking her hand in mine, I take a deep breath and dive in.
“Josie, I want us to continue…this.” I swallow hard when her eyes light up. Fuck. “But I need you to understand this isn’t a…a relationship.”
And just that fast, the light dies and she stares down at our clasped hands. I’m not sure when I began to care so much about Joey’s emotions, but I don’t want to hurt her. I’ve seen her coming out of her shell in the short time we’ve been together, and I don’t want to be responsible for pushing her back in.
“You know I don’t do girlfriends or long-term dating or monogamy. But I like you, and I fucking love the sex.”
I hit a nerve with the last part when her hand tightens in reflex in mine, and she shakes her head.
“You can have sex with anyone, Brent.” Her voice is quiet, detached. “You don’t need me for that.”
“What? No, I love sex with you . And I really like you and being with you. I think if we clarify everything from the beginning, we can make this work.”
Her gaze quietly assessing, she asks, “Make what work?”
I hesitate and glance away for a moment, wondering how to say this without sounding like an asshole. With honesty is the only way even if I come off as an insensitive bastard. I sigh and face her again. She’s watching me warily.
“My focus is on football right now. I don’t know how many more years I have left, but I’m going to give it my all for as long as I can.” My hand tightens around hers to emphasize my next point. “I’m not ready for anything serious. Not now and maybe not ever.”
She stares into my eyes as if trying to see into my soul. I glance away, afraid of what she’ll find if she looks too deep. Finally she asks, “Why are you so against relationships, Brent? Your parents loved each other. Your mom clearly loves all of you. It was tragic that your dad died too soon…Is that what this is all about? You’re afraid of leaving a family behind if something happens to you during a game?”
That scenario has never consciously crossed my mind, and when Joey says those words, I refuse to acknowledge she might have hit on a grain of truth. Anyway, it’s my conscious mind that coldheartedly decided I don’t want a family because it means responsibility, and I’m done with that. Most of my teenage years were about taking care of my mother and sisters. A time when I should have been out raising hell, going to parties every weekend, sleeping until noon on my days off. Sure, other kids had it a lot worse, but I bet they’re also screwed up because of it.
I’m almost thirty and just starting to feel like I’m living my life on my own terms. My passion for football died about the same time my father did. Then it became a means to an end. I’m finally enjoying it again, playing for the challenge of it, not just the paycheck.
But I don’t say any of that to Joey. I only say, “The reasons don’t matter.” My chest tightens when she gazes at me with sympathy and tenderness. I harden my voice.
“Don’t look at me like that, Josie. Like you’re going to be the one to make it all better and change me. You need to believe me when I tell you how I feel is not going to change.”
She stares at me for a long moment. I hold my breath as I wait for her answer.