Chapter 3
Blake couldn’t believe that she was in the hospital.
She’d been at the auction, then woke up at the emergency department not far away.
Sitting up carefully, she looked around the room.
No one was in the room with her, so she had plenty of time to speculate what had happened to her.
When the door opened, she was surprised to see her sister.
“What happened that I’m in here?” She said that she’d fallen and had hit her head on something. “I fell, or you pushed me. I seem to remember you throwing around your purse and hitting me once before.”
“I wasn’t aiming for you. You know how I can get when I’m depressed.
” She knew a great many things but didn’t share them with her sister, like how she thought that Robin wasn’t depressed so much as she wanted to be the center of attention all the time.
Oh, she thought, she might well be depressed, but she thought it was more of her wanting her to pity her.
“What are you thinking about? I do hope you sue that man and his mother for having their boxes right there where they were a danger. If you would have hit the grass, none of this would have been necessary.”
“Then what about my broken arm? I’m assuming that it’s broken because it has a big fucking cast on it.
How am I supposed to work with a cast on my arm?
” She said that she would pay her to not get pissy with her.
“I will get pissy with you, Robin. I have a feeling that you’ve caused me to be hurt, and here in the hospital. ”
“Don’t talk to me like that. You know that I’m super depressed.
You’re going to send me into a spiral if you keep that up.
And you know what happens when I’m in one of those.
” She asked her what happened as if she’d not been told the same story a million times.
“I get out of control with my emotions, and I have to go into hiding. I don’t want to have to deal with life right now, and you being hurt is depressing for me.
Why couldn’t you have just stood still while I was hitting that man? ”
“Why would you hit the man? I’m assuming that you mean Dr. Dresden.” She said that he was a bully and didn’t understand depression. “I’m sure that he does. They have to learn about that while they’re in college. You just don’t like him because he called you out.”
“Another reason for you to fire him as your doctor.” She’d not known that he was her doctor and told her sister that.
“Well, he is. You should have seen him barking orders to everyone around. When he just had to call for an ambulance, I left. I wasn’t going to be subject to his acting like he was in charge. ”
“It’s more than likely good that he was in charge.
There is no telling what would have happened to me had you been there for me.
” She said that she was just too depressed to deal with her hurt.
“Thanks for having my back, I guess. What happened, Robin? Was no one paying any attention to you, and you didn’t like that? ”
She didn’t know where this was coming from.
Of course, she’d thought about it for months now, how her sister had to be the center of attention, or she’d make a bigger fuss about her depression.
It bothered her to no end that she’d left her instead of sticking around when she’d been hurt.
Lifting her chin up, she asked her what she would have done had she had to have surgery or something.
“He took you to the emergency room, where they were supposed to be cleaning your wound. It’s just a little bitty cut, so I don’t understand what all the fuss was about.
But they ended up putting you in surgery to make sure that none of the glass from the broken pottery was in your head.
He said it was dirty or something. Why don’t they clean these things before they sell them?
They’d probably get more for them should they do that.
Not that I’d buy anything from a place like that.
” She asked how many stitches she’d gotten. “I have no idea. I didn’t ask.”
“Your only sister gets hurt, and you don’t think to ask about what happened to me. That’s not terribly nice.” Robin said that she didn’t want to sound whiny. “You’re forever sounding whiny. Why should now be any different?”
“You’re in a mood.” She was, too, and she didn’t know where this was coming from. “Don’t you care that I’ve been sitting at home sobbing my eyes out because you got hurt? I’ve been worried for you not getting better.”
“As you said, it wasn’t anything but a small cut anyway, and that is why I’m here.
I’ve been in a great deal of pain, I’ll have you know.
So much so that they’ve had to give me drugs so that I can tolerate it.
” She said she was going to be a drug addict soon.
“No I’m not. Why would you say something like that to me? ”
“Because if you are, then what will I do? You’re going to be a drug addict, and I’m going to be left all alone with my depression.
I won’t be able to handle it without you in my life, Blake.
You’re going to have to stop taking them right now and suffer through the pain of the cut so that I can have you around.
” She asked her if she knew what she was talking about.
“It only takes a couple of days for you to get hooked on them. I can’t take them because they’re worried that I’ll take too many in one of my episodes.
Depressed people like me are forever looking for a way out.
Why, just this morning, I had an episode that nearly put me to bed.
You’re just lucky today that I forced myself out of the house to be here with you. ”
“Yes, I’m so very lucky that you’ve made my being hurt all about you.” She nodded as if she’d said the perfect thing. “Robin, have you found yourself a therapist yet? I know that you’ve been looking.”
“I think he might have put it out there how hard it is to keep me on track, and no one wants to put in the extra effort to take me on.” Sure, Blake thought, that’s what it is.
“Only a true professional would be able to handle someone like me and all my depression needs. I have a great deal of them too. Ones that would put a less stronger person in bed for the rest of their life. But I make myself get up and get dressed every day so that I can be a part of the world.”
“I guess it isn’t bad that people can get a good look at you while they’re out with you.
” Robin smiled as if she’d finally gotten it right.
“How many people have you told today that you’re dealing with depression?
I’m betting that every nurse that you’ve encountered knows that you’re without a doctor right now and have been depressed all your life. ”
“Well, of course, they know. I’m not ashamed of it.
” Blake said that she’d be ashamed to be telling people that she was that depressed.
“That’s because you only have a little bit of depression.
You don’t have it as bad as I do. I have to deal with it daily.
You only have it because you’ve been hurt.
You should just shake out of it since it’s not as bad as some people have.
Do you take drugs? I’m on the strongest they have for depression. ”
“Why don’t you let me have one of them, and we can have it tested?
” She looked so shocked that she put out her hand.
“Give me one. I want to know what it is that you’re putting into your body.
And that way, when the new doctor asks you what you take, you can give him an answer without telling him you just take the strongest there is. ”
“I will not.” She asked her why not. “Because he told me that they were strong and that I wasn’t to share them. You’d be in over your head had I just turned one over to you like it was nothing. No. I won’t allow you to test them either. What I take is none of your concern.”
“But it is. If we were to be in an accident together, I’d have to know what you’re on so that they don’t give you anything that would counteract with the stuff you’re taking.” Still, she said no. “For all you know, you could be taking nothing more than sugar pills that he gives you to shut you up.”
“What a thing to say to me.” She stood up and held her purse in much the same manner as she had when they’d been at the auction.
“I should hit you right now. There is no talking to you when you get into one of your moods. Well, now you’ve done it.
I’m depressed again, and I’ll have to go home and hide myself away just because of you. ”
“Not because of me, Robin. I think you’ve been led to believe that you’re this super depressed person when all that’s wrong with you is that you’re selfish and want things to be all about you.
I’m not saying that you don’t suffer some from depression; everyone does, but I think you’ve taken it to the next level, and there is no coming back for you.
” She asked if she was saying she was faking it.
“I never said that. However, I do think that you should take a look at the drugs that you’re taking.
Perhaps since he’s given you those, there is something else you should be taking to calm yourself down. ”
“I can’t believe that I’m hearing this from you. You’re supposed to be my biggest supporter. The one that I can lean on when things get bad for me.” She said that she had hoped that she could depend on her too when things got bad. “You’re not depressed. You’re just jealous that I am.”
“What? Did you just hear what you said? How do you know I’m not depressed, and what do I have to be jealous of?” She told her. “Your money? That’s funny. I wouldn’t have your life if it were the only one I could have. You’re a slave to your money, and you know it. I can’t talk to you right now.”