Chapter 5 #2
“What a thing to say to me. You know nothing about being depressed.” She said that it wasn’t a contest that one of them had to win.
“Yes, it is. I have to win. You just have a little bit of depression, and that’s final.
I will always be far superior to you, no matter what it is we’re talking about.
But with my depression, it wouldn’t kill you to be on my side once in a while. ”
“What do you mean by being on your side?” He could hear her telling Blake about what it was like to suffer, and no one cared about her.
That even her staff was getting tired of her.
“I don’t blame them if you treat them like you do me.
And I do know what it’s like to suffer because I do as well.
I don’t think there is anything like a little bit of depression.
You just made that up to tell me about it. ”
“So? It works. Like I said, you have no idea what I suffer.” She said she did because she was telling her all the time.
“That’s not the same thing. I don’t tell you half of what is going on in my head.
You’ll learn when you move in here with me.
I’ll have someone come by your place tomorrow and pack you up.
We’ll put everything in storage so that you can keep it in the event that this won’t work out.
Not that I’m going to allow you to have an opinion about whether it works out for me or not.
You’ll just have to get used to me. You’ll see. I’m much more depressed than you are.”
“I don’t even care anymore.” Blake looked at him, and he shrugged his shoulders as if to say he was game if she was.
“I’m getting married soon, and there is little to nothing you can do about it.
As soon as I am, I’m going to live a happy life because I have someone who loves me just for who I am.
A person who can love back and listen to me when I need it. ”
“I listen to you.” Blake didn’t comment but did roll her eyes.
“You have very little to say to me because you know that I’m a worse sufferer than you are.
I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again: you’re just jealous because I’m more depressed than you are.
Admit it. You’ll see, Blake. When we’re living together, things will be better for me.
I’ll take care of your so-called needs, and things will be just perfect for me.
No more talking of getting married, either. That’s just not going to happen.”
When Blake closed the connection on her phone, he could have jumped for joy.
But when she started crying, it was all he could do not to find Robin and beat the shit out of her.
As she fell into his arms to be held, he held her tightly to his body.
Her sobbing was making his heart break, and he didn’t know what to do about it.
“Take me out.” Nodding, he asked her where she wanted to go.
“I don’t know. Just drive around with me so that I don’t have to worry about seeing my sister.
She’ll show up tomorrow with moving vans, and I’m going to have to figure out a way to make it so that she doesn’t get into my house and take my things. ”
“We’ll go over to my grandparents’ home.
They’d love to meet you, and we’ll have dinner with them.
You liked my grandda, right?” She said that he was special.
“He is at that. And if you tell him about your sister, he’ll try to figure out a way to make sure that she doesn’t hurt you again.
He’s kind like that. And grandma will hug the stuffing out of you. ”
Taking her hand, he led her down the rest of the stairs to the front door. Once they were there, he set the alarm and locked the door. Taking her to his truck, they were on their way in no time. He was going to make her smile if it was the last thing he did today.
~*~
Blake loved his grandparents. They didn’t ask any questions of her, but did talk about the garden that was being put to bed.
The pumpkins were huge and orange in the dying leaves, and she loved that there were still tomatoes on the vines so that she could have one if she wanted it.
Just as they were sitting down to dinner, her phone rang again, and she ignored it for the company she was with.
As far as she was concerned, her sister could go to hell; she was so mad at her right now.
The dinner was enjoyable, but for the sixteen times her sister had called.
It was getting on her nerves the way that she kept calling.
After dinner was over, she was so stressed out that she wanted to go into their living room, pick up a pillow, and scream into it.
It was the way that she dealt with Robin all the time when she became too much for her.
Just as she was going to ask for a few minutes alone, Frank asked her if she needed a punching bag.
“I’m sorry, what?” He repeated what he’d said, and she told him she’d never used one before. “I don’t have the room for something like that in my apartment. I think it would be nice to have, but I just don’t have the room.”
“Come on out to the barn.” She followed the elderly man out to the barn when Milly and Reagan said that it would be all right.
“I’ve had this hanging out here for years and use it on occasion, but you should give it a try before your head explodes.
I’m assuming that whoever is calling you has done something to the two of you that you can’t just abide by. ”
“It’s my sister.” She started to tell him that things would be all right, but decided that she really needed to vent.
After talking to him for an hour, punching the bag when she was more frustrated than not, she did feel better.
“She thinks that she’s the only one in the world who gets depressed.
I think everyone does on occasion, but she wouldn’t hear it. ”
“I was depressed one time enough that I didn’t think I could go on living.
It was right before Aaron was born; he’s my oldest grandson.
I tell you, there wasn’t anybody going to make me better on account of I was at my last moments of living.
” He punched the bag hard, and she watched him.
“As soon as they laid that little bundle into my arms, I tell you I never felt better in my life. Then he reached up and grabbed my old finger, and I knew for as long as I lived, he’d be the one who made it so that I could go on living.
And when I see him to this day, he can brighten up my life like nobody else can. ”
“That’s wonderful, but I doubt very much that a baby is going to make me like my sister anymore.
” He said that she had to stop thinking about how it was going to affect her sister, but how it was going to affect her.
“A child of mine would be nice. I’ve been thinking about what Reagan had said about having a baby when I’m ready.
But I’m sort of afraid of that. What if it turns out like my sister? Or me for that matter?”
“As you said, everyone has a little depression once in a while. You should go down to that old people’s home they got in town and listen to some of their stories about how life has gotten them down.
” She asked if anyone had helped them with their depression.
“My family had some of the smaller tigers go there and have them pet them. “You mean like real kittens?”
“Sure. Most of them don’t know if they’re real cats or tigers, but they pet them and talk to them all the same.
It’s a good way for the pride to get some human interaction for a while and for the elderly to have someone they can talk to.
” She thought about what he was saying and wished that she’d had a cat to pet at times when she was depressed.
“You got yourself a big cat now that would do just about anything for you. Reagan is a busy man, but he’s about the best at making sure that no one is hurting.
And I’m sure you hurt all the time when your body gets to being depressed. ”
“I don’t suffer from it like my sister does.
” He nodded as if he understood. And for some reason, she believed that he really did understand what she was talking about.
“She wants people to believe that she suffers all the time. Like twenty-four/seven. I don’t think a person could go through what I have in the way of depression all the time and not have some serious things wrong with them.
I’m not saying that she’s not depressed, but I don’t think she could live with herself if she did it all the time. ”
“I don’t know your sister, but I have to agree with your notion that she’s not suffering from it all the time.
” Frank got up and punched on the bag a few times.
“You can use this anytime you wish. And if it helps you, Reagan can get you one for your house. It might surprise you at how good it makes you feel when you think of using your fists against it. Depression might not affect you the same way it does your sister, but it would be nice to be able to put a name to the bag. I used to call it life. You can call it Robin if you want.”
She sat out there long after Frank was gone, just thinking about the bag and calling it Robin.
She didn’t want to hurt her sister, but it would be nice to be able to get some of her frustrations out against her this way.
Just as she was getting up to give it a few rounds with her fist, her phone rang. It was Robin.
For the next several minutes, she pounded the bag.
She never said anything aloud, but she did think of everything her sister had said to her.
The things that she’d done to her. There was a lot of hurt built up in her body, and the longer she pounded the bag, the better she felt mentally.
After about an hour, she was mentally better and physically exhausted.
She looked up to find Reagan sitting on one of the hay bales that were near the walls of the big barn.