Chapter 34 Josie #2
“Well, I guess you’ll have to get over that. I’m not available.”
His jaw clenched hard as he stared me down. “Why the fuck are you being like this?”
“Like what? Unavailable?”
“Needy,” he retorted.
I laughed at that. I couldn’t help it if I tried. “I’m needy? You’re the one with your panties in a twist because I’m not at your beck and call tonight.”
“I never asked you to be.”
“No, but you sure did assume that I would be there waiting.”
“Because you come over every night. I was just letting you know when I would be home,” he snapped.
“And I said I won’t be there!”
“Fine!”
“Fine!” I shouted, wishing he would just leave.
But he didn’t leave. He stood there, chest heaving as he stared at me with contempt. It was only my brother’s footsteps that broke the animosity in the air.
“Everything alright out here?”
“Everything’s fine,” I answered, not taking my eyes off JR for even a second.
“Right,” Sawyer said slowly. “So…you’re just having a staring contest?”
“Actually, I’m just waiting for him to leave so I can get ready for work. But since you’re up, you can make sure he knows his way out.”
I turned on my heel and strode toward my bedroom, leaving JR in my rearview mirror. God, I was really sucky at this whole keeping my emotions locked up. I would have to really work on that.
I slumped down on my bed and buried my face in my hands, desperately trying not to cry. I would not be that upset over a man who didn’t want to depend on anyone.
“Josie?” Sawyer knocked. “Everything okay?”
“Just peachy,” I grumbled.
The door opened and my brother walked in, eyeing me warily. “What’s going on with you?”
“Nothing. Why do you ask?”
“Uh…because there’s one very pissed off male who just stormed out of here, and you guys were fighting.”
“We always fight,” I muttered.
Milo trotted in and jumped up on my bed, snuggling into my side. “Hey, buddy.”
“Seriously, what’s going on? I thought you two were doing fine.”
“We are,” I sighed. “It’s nothing, really.”
Groaning, Sawyer walked in and sat on my bed. “You fell for him, didn’t you?”
“What?” I scoffed. “Of course I didn’t.”
“Yeah, you did. I can see it all over your face. Trust me, I’ve been there enough to know the look.”
Crap, if he could see it on me, then everyone else in town would as well. “I didn’t mean to.”
“Nobody means to,” he sighed, tugging me to his side. “I figured it might happen, though. I mean, with all the nights you’ve been spending over there—”
“Because you won’t fuck your cougar quietly,” I accused.
“I love her,” he grinned. “You can’t be mad at me for that.”
“No, but I can be mad that I no longer have a place to sleep.”
“Well, it sounded like he wanted you to go over tonight.”
“Yeah,” I snorted. “So, he can fuck me.”
Sawyer winced in disgust.
“Don’t even look at me like that after all the stuff you’ve put me through.”
“You’re right,” he apologized. “Don’t you want to be with him?”
“Of course I do. I just…don’t want to be the woman in his bed, and only in his bed.”
“Ah, so it’s like that.”
“Big time. I mean, I hardly know a thing about the man, and what little I did find out was from his sister. And he explicitly told me that anything in his past is off-limits.”
“So…dark and dangerous,” he nodded.
“Probably.” Sighing, I flopped back on my bed and stared up at the ceiling. “You know the worst part about it?”
He flopped down beside me, linking his hand with mine, giving me a squeeze.
“The fact that you’re so in love with him and he doesn’t even look at you as anything more than a plaything?
That you can see this connection with him, and you want it so desperately, but if you push, he’ll just walk away.
And even though you know you’re only going to get your heart broken, you somehow keep telling yourself it’s okay because you need him? ”
I rolled my head and smiled at my brother. “Wow, you must have been through this more than I realized.”
“Completely.”
“Sawyer…” I sat up, leaning on my elbow. “Can I ask you a real question?”
“Shoot.”
“Do you really love Scarlet? Or do you just want to love her so you have somebody who you think loves you?”
“Ouch,” he chuckled. “Hit me right where it hurts.”
“I’m serious. Do you really think she’s the right woman for you?”
Shaking his head, he sighed heavily. “She asked me to get you to sign over your rights to the house.”
“What?” I gasped, sitting upright. “But—”
“I didn’t agree to it. And that’s when I knew it was true. Everything you’ve been telling me all along.”
“But…” He wasn’t sad. He wasn’t moping. He was still smiling.
“Well, I’m not gonna drop her yet,” he grinned. “The sex is still good. But don’t worry. She’ll be out by the end of the week. Then the real depression will kick in.”
Laying down again, I returned his squeeze from earlier. “I’m sorry, Sawyer.”
“Hey, you called it from the start.”
Huffing, I shook my head. “I can’t believe you spent all that money on her engagement ring.”
“Well, not really. It only looked real. I had the guy play it up to make it sound like it was really expensive. What she has isn’t worth more than twenty-five bucks.”
I burst out laughing, holding my stomach as the hilarity of the situation washed over me. “Oh my gosh, she’s gonna be so pissed when she tries to sell it.”
“Yeah,” he laughed. “So, do you forgive me?”
“For what?”
“For bringing home a woman who only wanted me for my money? For her trying to trade in your car. And for stealing your room?”
“All of it,” I sighed. “That’s what sisters do.”
“And…will you be there for me this weekend when I fall apart?”
“Make a list of the movies we need. I’ll make sure we have all the provisions.”
“And beer. Lots and lots of beer.”
“I’ll get it all,” I smiled at him. “Hey, I really am sorry it didn’t work out.”
“No, you’re not. But thanks for saying it.”
Looking back up at the ceiling, I frowned at the gum. “How did you get that up there?”
“You don’t want to know.”