Chapter 39 JR
JR
I wiped the bar top down for the third time as I stared across the room at Josie, who was sitting with her brother and a group of friends. Laughing and drinking, she was having a great time.
And me…
I was in hell.
Anger at the way we’d left things still hummed under my skin, but there was something deeper than that rooting its way into every fiber of my body.
Regret.
“She’s not gonna come over here just because you’re glaring at her,” Archer said, tipping his mug toward me.
I ignored him and continued with my job.
“How many times are you gonna clean that exact spot?”
I stopped and looked down at the pristine bar.
“Pretty sure even the health inspector would say you’re cleaning too much.”
“Shut up.”
Sighing, he set his mug down. “Are we gonna talk about what happened?”
“Nope.”
“Because I have a feeling we haven’t seen the end of that job.”
“Please! That man raped and murdered my wife!”
I squeezed my eyes closed and tried to drown out the pleas of the man I was supposed to kill.
Supposed to.
Never actually did it.
Why? Because Archer called it. My head wasn’t right. One slice was all it took to make me want to vomit. I held it together, but the moment the man started babbling, all I could think about was how Josie would see me.
Blood on my hands, taking the life of a man who had done nothing more than defend his family. And for what? Because the man in charge wasn’t too happy about the fact that his rapist brother had been killed.
“What do you want me to say?” I snapped, not wanting to discuss this.
“Hey, you know I had your back in there,” he hissed under his breath. “Not that I particularly like having a target on my back, but you said you had things under control!”
“I know!” When a few heads turned my way, I lowered my voice. “I know what I said.”
“So, what the fuck happened?”
I didn’t really have to tell him. He already knew. The inevitable happened, and there was no getting away from it now.
I’d let my personal feelings get in the way of the job. And that would kill any man in my position.
“Look, I took care of it. I called off the hit and let him know it was my decision.”
“And you think that’s the end of it?” he huffed.
“It’s gonna have to be.”
“Think again, JR. This was personal to him, and you blew him off.”
“Because it wasn’t—”
“It doesn’t matter,” he snapped, keeping his voice low. “Good or bad, he called in a favor because of what happened on the last job. And you don’t walk away from favors. They’re not actually something you can turn down.”
I knew that. Fuck, I knew that. But when I was in that room, I couldn’t do it. If I had, how the hell would I ever look at Josie again?
My eyes drifted to her again, and this time, I knew Archer wasn’t going to let it go.
“Make it count, man. You made the decision not to pull the trigger. Don’t make me regret backing you. I swear to God, if this comes back to bite us and you haven’t made things right with her, I’ll kill you myself.”
He tossed some money down on the bar and walked out. Just when I got rid of one nuisance, three more appeared at the bar. All three of them pissed, and all three of them were glaring at me.
“What?”
Of course, it was Michael who chose to speak up. He hated me the most. “I see you didn’t take my advice.”
“Wasn’t aware I needed to. Besides, if I left, who would run the bar for your sister?”
“We’d make it work.”
“Right,” I laughed, “because the three of you have nothing better to do with your time. Don’t you have someone to arrest?” I asked Michael.
“I’m looking at him.”
“Well, then, go ahead. I’ve got nothing better to do than tend bar.” I smirked at him when he made no move to cuff me. “What the hell did I do to piss you off so much?”
“I don’t trust you, and when I see you hanging out with Archer, I know you’re bad news.”
I nodded, understanding where he was coming from. “Well, it’s always good to have a guy like Archer when you need assistance,” I said pointedly toward Liam. “He’s not a bad guy to have around when the shit hits the fan.”
“And you want us to believe you’re like him?”
“I didn’t say that,” I shrugged.
“Where did you go?” Liam asked. “You left Lizzy in the lurch for two days.”
“Had business to take care of.”
“Your business is here now,” Liam snapped.
“I’m not your sister’s keeper. I cleared it with her before I left town. Not sure why you’re here with your thumbs up your ass.”
Maybe it wasn’t the right thing to say to the three men who already looked entirely too pissed off for their own good. But I had never been known for being smart about anything.
“If Lizzy doesn’t want me here, she’ll get rid of me. But until that time, I’m working, and you’re in my way.”
I turned my back on them and got to work restocking the bar for tomorrow’s crowd. I only had an hour until closing, and I was counting down the minutes. When I turned back around, only one brother was left at the bar.
Jeff. The brother who had yet to say a damn thing to me. He was chomping on peanuts and grinning like an idiot, the complete opposite of when his brothers were here.
“What do you want?”
“Nothing. Just hanging out.”
“Are you supposed to stay behind and charm me?”
Chortling, he tossed a few more peanuts in his mouth. “Can I get a beer?”
Rolling my eyes, I poured him a beer and slid it across to him. “Anything else?”
“Yeah.” He shifted in his seat. “So, what’s it like being a total badass?”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“Well, rumor has it that you’re some kind of ninja assassin or dark lord. Personally, I think Ninja Assassin is pretty cool, but a dark lord?” He blew out a breath. “Dark lord would be fucking incredible.”
“Are you drunk?”
“Not even close,” he grinned. “So, which is it?”
“I’m not a ninja.”
“Ah, so dark lord it is! That’ll really attract the ladies. I mean, if they want their souls sucked dry. I’m assuming that goes with the territory.”
He stared at me inquisitively, but I said nothing.
“That’s cool. You don’t have to give up all your secrets in one sitting.” He leaned forward, glancing around quickly. “Although, if you have any tips for catching the eye of a lady who might be interested in the finer aspects of a man such as yourself, feel free to pass those along.”
“Because you think you could be a dark lord?”
Sitting back, he huffed out a laugh. “Well, I don’t want to brag, but I’ve got a few darker qualities.”
“Such as?”
“Well, I’m a rebel, and I think any good dark lord should have a rebellious nature.”
“A rebel, huh?”
“Oh, totally,” he grinned. “I never go to bed when I should. I like to leave the door unlocked, even though I live on a huge property where literally anyone could come in and murder me in the middle of the night, and…sometimes, when it’s laundry day, I just turn my socks inside out.”
I quirked an eyebrow at him, just catching on that he was just fucking with me. I wasn’t entirely sure at first. The man seemed like he might be a few screws loose, but now I realized he just liked to fuck with people.
“So, that’s what the odor is.”
“Anyway, it can’t all come down to being rebellious. You also have to have a way with the ladies.”
My eyes immediately shifted to Josie yet again.
“She’s too good for you,” he said, his tone suddenly shifting to something slightly more dangerous. And now I was very interested in this brother.
“I’m well aware.”
“I’m serious.”
I knew that also. It was clear as day when he looked at her that he didn’t want me anywhere near her.
“And why would I listen to anything you say?”
“Because you just moved to town not that long ago. You might not be aware of the shit that goes on around here, but I am, and I can tell you right now that she doesn’t need any more crap in her life.”
The rumor mill. So, everyone believed the story that Austin attacked Josie.
No wonder she got pissed off when gossip spread.
Of course, I was just as bad as Jeff. I’d pretty much yelled at her for not taking the threat seriously, not that I would go back on my assessment of how dangerous Austin was.
Walking up the steps to her house, I knocked before I could think better of it. When she answered, it was nothing like the last time I came knocking.
She didn’t lunge at me, she wasn’t staring at me with lust in her eyes, and she definitely wasn’t letting me in. “What do you want?”
“To talk.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, giving me her best fuck off look. “JR, no offense, but you didn’t want to talk to me before. Why would I want to talk to you now?”
She was absolutely right. There was no reason she should ever want to talk to me, but there were things I needed to say.
“Look, I’m not here to get you back.”
That took her by surprise.
“I mean…fuck, that came out wrong. What I meant to say is that I’m not expecting anything. I know why you’re pissed at me. I was hoping I could clear up a few things.”
“You mean make more excuses.”
“No,” I said, narrowing my eyes at her. “You want answers, and I can give them to you, but I’m not gonna beg you to let me in. Either we discuss this or I walk away and never see you again. The choice is yours.”
I sounded like a dick, and I knew it. I had given her no reason to ever trust me or want to talk to me again. And while I knew she might slam the door in my face, I wasn’t gonna stand here and beg her to hear me out.
It would suck to have the door slammed in my face, but there were realities we both needed to face.
Finally, she stepped aside and let me in. Walking over to the couch, she plopped down and gestured for me to do the same.
“You wanted to talk. So talk.”
It wasn’t that easy. I knew I needed to do this, but I didn’t know how to start. Pacing, I decided to start at the beginning.
“You know I was raised in foster care. And you probably know that some of those homes weren’t exactly the best.”
“Yes, Alyssa told me.”