Chapter 11
ELEVEN
I hate myself for kissing his stupid ass back.
“What happened?” Reya asks when she walks back into the room.
“He kissed me and I let him,” I say and a smile creeps onto her face.
“Don’t do that. Don’t smile.”
“Okay. My bad. I just…” She shakes her head then shrugs. “Nothing. I’ll keep my thoughts about him to myself for now. Aside from letting him kiss you, are you okay?”
I sigh then reveal my honest thoughts. “I’m so mad at him for letting me walk into that lobby blind like that.
She knew exactly who I was and I didn’t have a clue she used to fuck him.
His omission allowed her to have one up on me, a big one.
When she called me her damn sister wife and mentioned his dick, Reya, I lost it.
Really lost it and I’m madder at myself for letting her take me out of character like that.
I’m the dean at a prestigious college. What if those people in the lobby were parents or even students? ”
As I say the words, I want to cry. I don’t actually shed a tear but I’m so upset at how I acted.
I’m a long way from Rah-Rah from The Manor and not just financially either.
My mindset, rationale, and especially my critical thinking have all grown since my early years, but today, the growth wasn’t evident at all.
I reverted and snatched her disrespectful ass from behind that counter and beat it.
I regretted it the moment Shiro pulled me off her, but in the moment, I blanked out and didn’t care about any growth.
After soothingly touching my leg, Reya says, “First of all, the odds of a parent or student being there are slim to none. Second, that bitch deserved an ass whooping. Me or any other woman in your position would have done the same damn thing. She was wrong as hell for saying any of that to you. She deserves an ass beating every time you see her, so stop beating yourself up.”
“I wish I could. The last time I fought anybody was…you know.”
“I know but may I add both occasions were warranted.”
“Maybe that’s why I’m so mad at myself. I’m back into the same damn situation and reacting the same damn way.”
“In what same situation? Shiro isn’t your so-called sister or dumb ass ex-husband.”
“I know but—”
“But what?”
“It just feels like I can’t get a damn break. I just told him I loved him less than a week ago. Then today, my non-cooking, lovesick ass, went grocery shopping and spent hours learning how to cook his favorite stew only to be embarrassed because he failed to tell me that he hired a fuck buddy.”
“Men are dumb,” she says with a grin. I don’t want to but I can’t help joining in.
“Dumb as hell.” I shake my head. “I asked if they found a replacement for Shuga and he said yes. That was his moment to tell me the truth, but no, he didn’t say shit. I know he’s not fucking her now, and I even believe it was one time, but still.”
“Still,” Reya agrees. “See, dumb.”
“That’s why I told him I need time.”
“Do you really need time?”
“I need a few days to get over my anger, to forgive him and myself. Plus, he needs to suffer, just a little.”
“True. He has to learn. Just don’t hurt the man too bad. He’s my brother and I love you and him together. He makes you happy, Kyrah.”
“Very, just not today,” I admit, then smile. “You mind if I get a drink? I need one.”
“You know I don’t. Fix yourself a strong one. Hell, maybe two because you’re spending the night.”
“Reya, I can go home.”
“But you’re not. Not tonight. Fix your drink and I’m going downstairs to check on dinner. I’m starting to get hungry.”
“Oh, that’s right. Quintus grilled suya fish.”
“And veggies and jollof rice. He cooked since I finally have my appetite back. Fix your drink and come down to eat.”
“That does sound good,” I admit. “I’ll be down in a minute.”
She stands and so do I. When I head to the bar, she walks out.
Thankfully, they have my favorite tequila.
After pouring and downing a shot, I mix another shot with a splash of grenadine, lime juice, and bitters.
I don’t have a name for my drink but it’s good as hell and definitely vital for my sanity right now.
Right after I take my first sip, a little person with a big personality struts in.
“Auntie, my uncle gone?” Niya asks with a cute little frown.
“Yes. He left a few minutes ago.”
“Oh. I thought he was eating with us. He left you?” she asks and I grin amusedly but keep my true thoughts to myself.
I made him leave.
“He needed to go home and get some rest.” And sense.
“You spending the night?”
“I am. I’m going to stay until the morning. I’m about to eat dinner with y’all. I heard your daddy cooked.”
“Yeah. He cooked cause Mommie can eat now. My brotha letting her eat today ’cause she ain’t been eating a lot.”
“Well, let’s go eat. I’m getting hungry.”
“I been hungry but I couldn’t eat ’cause y’all were in here talking and cussing,” she says and I laugh this time.
This little girl!
We head downstairs to the kitchen and the sight I see is so precious and inspiring. Reya stands in front of the island placing pieces of fish on plates. Quintus is behind her, kissing her neck and making her giggle like a teenager. Mireya’s happiness is everything and I love all of this for her.
“Aht, aht,” I say loudly, clearing my throat dramatically.
“Sit. We got this,” Reya says. “And we’re eating in here.”
Niya and I sit at the table in the nook while Reya and Quintus dish up the food.
Then, two by two, Quintus brings our plates to the table and Reya is behind him.
After grace, we dig in. I’m midbite when I see my friend spoon the eyes from her fish and eat them.
I’ve witnessed little Niya, Shuga, and Shiro do this, but never Reya.
“So you eat fish eyes now?” I ask, truly shocked.
While laughing, she says, “My little Nigerian baby loves them.”
“Just like me,” Niya adds.
“Whew. Girl, I guess,” I say.
This light, loving, and delicious dinner along with my drink is exactly what I need.
At my firm insistence, I wash the dishes after dinner then journey upstairs to the guest room next to Niya’s.
Because Reya is thick like me, she has pajamas I can wear.
It’s actually a new set and I slide them on after a long, much appreciated bath with hot water and lavender oil.
When Reya invites me to watch a movie with them, I decline. I really just need time to myself, plus I’m tired. I forgot how tiresome fighting can be. Hell, my damn hands are still a little sore.
Before getting in the comfy bed, I grab my cell and place it on the charging station on the nightstand. The minute I do, it vibrates. I reach over and see it’s a text from Shiro. I just shake my head and smile at the same time as I read the messages.
Him: My Zongo was so good. Thanks again for cooking it for me.
Him: I love you.
This man.
I swear.
What part of time and space doesn’t he understand?
That night with Reya and her family was exactly what I needed after my mishap.
I went home refreshed and more accepting of my actions.
While I hate that the fight happened in front of people, I absolutely do not regret putting my hands on her.
She begged for that ass beating when she said her intentional words to me and I gladly obliged.
As for Shiro, he’s still in time out. I love him with every fiber of my being but he has to sit in his dumb ass decision.
I know exactly who I am and what I am worth.
He was wrong as hell. The minute he discovered or remembered who she was, he should have fired her.
When he didn’t, he one thousand percent should have told me about her.
His failure to do either is why I’m not responding to his texts.
It’s been three days and he texts me every morning, afternoon, and night.
The way I miss my man is insane but I’m holding strong.
“Dr. Morris,” security says when I answer my desk phone.
“Yes, Michael.”
“We have a delivery for you at the front desk.”
“Okay. I’ll be right out.” Lexie is out today. Her husband had his wisdom teeth removed.
“We can send one of the work studies if you don’t mind,” he says, referring to the students who work part-time in the business department.
“Depends on the delivery. What is it?”
“Flowers.”
“Oh. You can send a student. That’ll be fine. Thanks, Michael.”
“Of course, ma’am.”
As soon as I end the call, I flip my phone and open my messages. Shiro’s message makes more sense now. I thought he was being corny but cute but I get it now. These flowers have to be from him.
Him: Good morning, baby. I miss you like flowers miss rain.
Ten minutes later, a student walks into my office holding a large bouquet of purple and white calla lilies and ivory roses.
“Where do you want them, Dean?” he asks.
“On my desk, please. Thank you.”
“Yes, ma’am. Do you have anything for me to do? I’m working until three.”
Because my office has access to confidential student and faculty information, my records are off limits from the students.
Lexie occasionally has flyers for them to copy, but with her being out today, I’m clueless about what she might have.
I refer him to Student Services. “Thank you. I’ll ask Miss Jeanette then,” he says before leaving.
I turn to my flowers and smile as I fish out the card. These are definitely from Shiro.
Thirty-four for the number of days I kept this from you. I’ll spend thirty-four plus years apologizing if that’s what it takes. I miss you and love you, baby. - Your man.
“God give me the strength to hold out,” I utter as I examine the arrangement again. Because I can’t lie, he’s wearing me down.