Chapter 21 #2
My besties are taking their bridesmaids duties seriously and I’m thankful.
This evening’s FNF is all about mapping out the final details of my upcoming wedding.
Between Tae and them, everything is on track.
Giselle is taking care of my bridal/bachelorette party.
Alex gifted us our honeymoon, and pregnant, belly-out Reya is coordinating the food with Shuga’s help.
Reya’s due the end of April but still being a trooper.
The only big decision left to make is my dress.
I’m torn between three options and I need to choose quickly for alterations.
It’s going to be a total surprise though.
I’m keeping it a secret from everyone, including my sistas, until my wedding day.
In just thirty-three days, in an intimate ceremony surrounded by family and friends, I’ll become Mrs. Kyrah Bako and start my forever with my beautiful man.
My heart is full and my life is blessed beyond measure.
The day is going to be the closest to perfection as it can be.
There’s only one thing that could make it better, but I’ve resigned myself to accept my disappointing reality.
As loved as I am by so many, I still can’t make everyone love me.
That thought about my mom puts a sense of urgency in my steps and I make a beeline for my bar.
I need a damn drink before I shower and change.
On most Fridays, I leave campus and head straight to Giselle’s, but today I left campus early.
My needy and overly flirtatious visiting professor, Dr. Trey Evans, bogarted his way back into my office and had the nerve to ask me to dinner.
I immediately shut him down, flashed my ring in his face, and issued him a real warning about his inappropriateness.
The day had already been stressful due to an impromptu audit by our campus compliance team, but his antics took me over the edge and I left within an hour of him being in my office.
Because I’m definitely drinking more at Giselle’s, I make this drink on the lighter side. My glass has more ice and margarita mix than tequila but it does the job of calming my nerves and curving my thoughts. I’m sipping it as I ascend my steps but stop when my doorbell chimes.
Who the hell is that?
In Chandler Heights, all guests are cleared and announced before arriving at a residence unless security knows and has previously cleared them. My cleared list is small and neither Shiro nor my besties should be here.
“Who is it?” I ask as I walk down.
“You mother,” I hear and my body freezes. “Can I come in, Rah-Rah? Please.”
It’s been almost six months since I’ve seen or talked to my mother.
I still pay her mortgage and make my usual deposits in her account but we’ve had no personal interactions.
As much as I need and want to protect my feelings and heart, I do miss and love her.
She’s the only parent I have left and it bothers me that we can’t and haven’t had a relationship in months.
I’m in love, truly in love, happy and marrying the man who was always meant for me.
Of course, I want to share that with her.
What daughter wouldn’t want her mother by her side during this time in her life?
After taking another large sip of my drink, I inhale a massive puff of air, slowly release it, then take the last few steps and walk to the door. When I open it, her pensive but always pretty face stares at me.
A wry smile creeps on her face then she timidly asks, “Can I come in?”
“Of course,” I respond, then step back to allow her in.
She removes her snow-covered ankle boots and coat and places them on the rack by the door then follows me into the living room.
Before I sit, I place my glass on my coffee table and look at her.
She’s sitting but looking as uneasy as I feel.
This isn’t us and I never thought we would be here, awkward together like this. “Do you want something to drink?”
“I can have what you’re having,” she says.
“I have bourbon, Momma. I can make your bourbon and coke,” I tell her and she nods.
“Thanks. I’d like that.”
Before walking to my bar, I change my mind about my mild drink and grab my cup. This might just call for a real ass drink.
I return a few minutes later with her drink and my tequila with a splash of orange juice and cranberry.
She looks more comfortable, which relaxes me just a little.
In the back of my mind I’m waiting for her to tell me some shit about Kym I’m not interested in hearing.
While she drinks, I brace myself, but when she doesn’t say anything after she places her glass on the table, I speak up.
“How did you know I was here?” I ask, because it’s barely five and she knows I’m usually at work.
“I called the school and Lexie told me you left at three; so I took a chance and came here. I didn’t want to call your cell and you wouldn’t answer,” she utters.
Her last sentence is in a hushed tone but it feels like she shouted because the words carry the ugly truth of our current dynamic. She’s right; I wouldn’t have answered because I honestly don’t trust her motives. The last time she called it was a setup to get Kym and me in the same space.
“You’re right because—”
“Because I made a mistake,” she interrupts. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes apparently and it’s costing me my daughter. She’s getting married, and because I pushed her out of my life, she hasn’t even told me.”
“Kym told you,” I say and roll my eyes. Of course it was Kym. She probably went crying to her after our run-in outside of Redmond’s. “That’s why you’re here because she ran to you,” I say and her eyes stretch in surprise.
“No, I’m here because I owe you an apology.
” She raises from her end of the sofa and walks over to me.
When she’s sitting next to me, she grabs my hand and squeezes it.
“You and Kym are all I have left in this world. When your father died, I thought we wouldn’t survive without him but we did.
We had hard moments but the three of us had each other. ”
“We did,” I agree, which is why Kym’s betrayal cut me so deeply. “At least I thought we did until your daughter decided to sleep with my husband.”
“I know.”
“Do you though, Momma? Because my sister, my best friend, my damn maid of honor in my wedding was fucking my husband months after I married him. She hurt me, broke my heart, and you took her side and my heart broke even more,” I say and my voice cracks.
I hate that this shit still hurts me so much.
“I can’t do this,” I say, then release her hand but she grabs it back.
“Rah-Rah, sweetie, listen to me, please. I did not take her side. I just wanted my daughters back together. I’m a mother who can’t have her children in the same room.
If Kym is around, you aren’t, so yes, I tried to get you two together.
I tried talking to you about her and vice versa.
” She inches closer then continues. “Was I being selfish? Yes, but I don’t know any mother who wouldn’t have done the same thing.
I still want it but I’m not willing to lose a daughter in the process.
“I’m sorry, sweetie. I really am. What Kym did was wrong and I’ve told her that but I don’t think I’ve said those words to you and that’s my mistake.
Your sister was dead ass wrong and so was Raquan.
I’m sorry I didn’t say that sooner and I’m really sorry for not considering your feelings.
I love you, Rah-Rah. You’re my baby girl and I miss you.
” A tear falls from her eyes and I fight to hold my own in.
My emotions are all over the place because she’s finally validating my feelings and acknowledging that she hurt me.
After she wipes her cheeks, she looks at me then asks, “Can you please forgive me?”
“If you promise not to bring Kym up or try to put me in a room with her again, I can,” I say.
I see the disappointment in her eyes. “Momma, I’m not heartless but I can’t pretend Kym didn’t hurt me either.
Maybe one day my feelings toward her might change and maybe they won’t. Can you deal with that?”
“I have to because I can’t have this distance between us,” she admits. “I missed you so much, Rah-Rah.”
“I missed you too, Momma, and I love you.”
“I love you so much.” We embrace and just hold each other, making up for lost time. We finally break apart, both crying and laughing. She wipes my cheeks as I wipe hers. “Now, tell me how that tall, handsome man proposed,” she says and my eyebrows instantly arch.
“How do you know what Shiro looks like?” I ask, shocked.
“When a man really loves you, he goes out of his way to show you, even if that means checking your mother.”
Even as she speaks, I’m still in awe and shock. “He contacted you?” I ask.
“And came to the house,” she replies with a smirk.
“Wow!”
“That’s what I said. He reminds me a lot of your father. That’s something he would have done. I see why you said yes. That’s love.”
“I know and I love him so much, Momma. If we didn’t have this ceremony planned, I would marry him this evening,” I admit, because if I wasn’t already head over heels in love with him, doing this would have made me fall.
No other man has ever loved me like him.
“Am I invited to the ceremony?” she asks pensively.
“Absolutely.”
“Whew! Good.” She smiles then grabs my hand. “Now, let me get a closer look at this ring,” she gushes and I smile all over.
Shiro, my beautiful man, made this happen.
My plans for later are for sure changing but my girls will understand. Tonight, I want my man. I need to wrap my arms around him, tell him how much I appreciate him, and make sure he knows I love him more than any words could ever express.