Chapter Thirteen #2
“Oh boy, am I ever!” I say and then turn to Blue with a look that I hope conveys How’s that for nice? Blue rolls his eyes at me.
But Andrew only grins. “I feel bad for whoever’s on the receiving end of that tonight.”
I ignore him and ask Blue, “What do we even do on these dates? Eat dinner and make small talk?”
Blue shrugs. “Sometimes. It depends on what works best with the producer’s plotline for the week. Other times it’s hang gliding or bungee jumping or something,” he says way too nonchalantly.
My stomach sinks. “That’s not funny.” I look at Andrew to see if Blue is joking. But Andrew isn’t laughing. Instead, he raises an eyebrow at me. I feel my heart rate going up as I explain to them, “I have acrophobia.”
“You don’t seem like the kind of person who’d have an irrational fear of heights,” Andrew says.
I narrow my eyes at him. “It’s not irrational. Because rationally, if you fall from somewhere really high up, like, oh, I don’t know, the sky, you’ll die.”
Blue laughs, but then quickly covers, giving me a reassuring smile. “Sometimes you go horseback riding or snorkeling.”
“Can I formally request a ground-based date then?” I ask Blue.
Andrew studies me. “We’ve never had any incidents, and all of our operators have been through strict safety protocols and clearances. I can assure you it’s perfectly safe.”
I don’t like the way he’s looking at me. It’s like he’s trying to learn me, and it feels entirely too intimate for two people who can’t stand each other. So I quickly counter, “Or maybe it’s not and you’re trying to get rid of me. I know how much you hate paperwork.”
Blue gives an awkward laugh, clearly uncomfortable with the tension between Andrew and me.
Andrew shakes his head. “Just trying to make you feel better.”
This catches me off guard. We stand there in a stalemate, each of us trying to figure out what the other is playing at until Blue clears his throat.
“Okaaay . . . well, I have to bring Grace to set now . . .” Blue says awkwardly, snapping us out of our standoff.
“A delight as always, Ms. Lambert,” Andrew says.
“Right back at you, Mr. Benson.”
Ten minutes later, all the contestants are gathered back in the lounge area by the pool. As the hair and makeup team touches up Shantae, Madison sidles next to me on the outdoor couch and conspiratorially whispers, “Who are you hoping to go out with?”
I’m about to answer “no one” when she leans in and says, “That was a pretty steamy kiss with Javier earlier.”
“You mean when he tricked me into kissing him?”
“I think he likes you, though.”
I laugh because how could she possibly infer that from the five hours I’ve known him? But I admit, “Javier seems like a nice guy. I actually wouldn’t mind going out with him. What about you?”
Madison looks around conspiratorially before answering. “TC is super-sweet and so handsome, but I don’t think he’s into me.”
“What?” I ask, sincerely shocked. “Who wouldn’t be into you? You’re such a catch.”
“I could say the same about you,” Madison says, then laughs. “Look at us, we’re actually talking about boys this time.”
“Shoot me.” I clean my fake glasses and put them back on my face as Blue walks over carrying three comically large envelopes and hands them to Shantae. He meets my eye, and I raise my eyebrows at the size of the cartoon envelopes. We both stifle a laugh.
Then Blue suddenly looks serious and mouths, Good luck, before he hustles off. Fear rips through me. That wasn’t a normal “good luck”—that was a you’re about to be screwed “good luck.”
“Oh fuck,” I mutter.
“What?” Madison whispers.
“They’re going to try and kill me from a staggering height!”
Then I see Blue standing behind the cameras, discreetly motioning to Bill, and I gasp again. “No, worse. They’re going to make me go on a date with Cowboy Bill, the Biggest Swingin’ Dick in Texas.”
Madison gasps and covers her mouth. “They wouldn’t!” Then she thinks about it. “They totally would!”
Our prophesizing is cut short when Shantae announces, “Welcome to your first one-on-one dates!” She holds up the three clown envelopes. “In my hand, I have the pairings for tonight.”
TC and Javier start drumming on their knees for added effect.
“Should I just quit now?” I whisper to Madison.
“Don’t you dare!” she whispers back and squeezes my hand for moral support. “I don’t want to be stuck with Beth Anne.”
I laugh until Shantae proclaims, “The first couple to go on a date is . . . Javier and . . .” She pauses for dramatic effect as Javier looks over at me and blows a kiss. “. . . Beth Anne.”
Beth Anne looks right at me and then cuddles up next to Javier. He gives me a sad little shrug.
“They did this on purpose because she’ll try to steal him away from you!” Madison whisper-yells to me in horror.
I don’t have time to tell her that Javier isn’t mine to steal because I’m busy willing an envelope to match me with TC. But then I see Madison sneaking furtive glances his way. Crap. As much as I can’t stand Bill, I also want Madison to have a real chance with TC.
“Okay, next up is . . .” Shantae opens the envelope and smiles. “Madison and TC!”
Madison gives TC a shy smile, and I swear his whole face brightens when he looks at her.
I lean in to tell her about this promising development when Bill comes sauntering over like a second-string Clint Eastwood and drawls, “I guess that means I get the Sexy Scientist. You ready for our date, darlin’? ”
Suddenly the thought of plunging to my death isn’t so unappealing.