Chapter Thirty-Three
After waking up hungover, followed by a champagne buzz at lunch, a couple midafternoon light beers, wine at dinner, going on two dates, kissing two men, and an emotional roller coaster of a day, I’m exhausted.
So exhausted that I briefly fall asleep in the limo on the way back to the mansion.
But Javier, being the nice guy that he is, doesn’t say anything about it.
He just lets me rest my head on his shoulder.
When we get back, the rest of the contestants are waiting for us on the beach where we left them a couple hours ago.
Except now they’re all in their toga gear and the beach is lit up by tiki torches.
While I’m only pretty sure the tiki torch was invented in Wisconsin and plays no role in Polynesian history, I’m positive the ancient Greeks never used them for decor.
I know my brain is fixating on the historical inaccuracies of a beachy toga party because it’s currently freaking out about what’s going to happen next.
For starters, what’s Ciara going to think when she sees Javi and me walking down the path to the beach, holding hands? Maybe she’ll just assume he’s helping me walk because my ankle is still sore?
Javier and I make our way to the empty seats at the far end of the lounge furniture. Which means we walk hand in hand past everyone else to get there. I feel eight sets of eyes on me. But I’m a coward and can’t bear to see the anger in Ciara’s expression, so I stare at my feet the whole time.
“Welcome back, lovebirds,” Shantae calls out, and I try not to cringe. “How was your date?”
“Good,” I say at the same time Javier says, “Great.”
I still can’t look at Ciara or Madison. My face burns with shame as Shantae continues her spiel.
“Well, I’m glad to hear it! Because now is the time to pick dates for the toga party.
And guys, it’s your turn to pick! First up is TC.
TC, you told us Madison is officially your girlfriend now. Lemme guess, you’re going to pick her?”
TC smiles at Madison and says, “Sure am, Shantae.” Madison snuggles closer to him.
“You guys are cuuuute. Okay, what about you, Scott? Who do you pick?” Shantae asks.
No Longer Hot Scott is blatantly checking out Shantae in her mini-skirt toga, but then realizes she’s waiting for an answer and says, “Oh, uh, yeah, Beth Anne.” I want to call him out on his lack of subtlety, but I’m too busy trying not to have a panic attack.
Beth Anne, however, is a pro now, so she doesn’t let her facade slip as she possessively takes Scott’s hand and like a Southern debutante says, “I thought you’d never ask.”
To her credit, Shantae doesn’t roll her eyes. Instead, she looks at the guy who got here earlier today and says, “Chris, you said you’d go out with Eliana again after your one-on-one date. Does this mean you’ll ask her to be your date to the toga party?”
Chris gives Eliana a suave smile and says, “If she’ll have me.” Eliana nods and giggles delightedly.
Which means there’s only one guy left. Javier. I’m not ready for this. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I wish I could hide my head in the sand—unlike an ostrich, because that’s a myth.
My heart is thundering as Shantae turns to Javi. “And finally Javier. Are you going to pick the girl you kissed this afternoon or the girl you kissed tonight?” I hear Beth Anne gasp.
Fuck. I’m sure my face is as red as my dress. Out of my peripheral, I see Madison looking at me, shocked. And when I finally sneak a peek at Ciara, she doesn’t look pissed, she looks sad. Which is way worse.
Javier squeezes my thigh, then turns to Ciara.
“Ciara, I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you and I feel we made a genuine connection.
But when Grace asked me for a second chance, we really hit it off, and I think I’m developing feelings for her.
I’m sorry.” Then he turns to Shantae and says, “I’m picking Grace. ”
My brain registers some shocked murmurs and gasps, but I can’t make out what anyone is saying because I’m currently floating above my body. And not in a good, deceased kind of way.
“Wow, that took a turn,” Shantae says with a bite. Then she turns to Ciara and says, “I’m sorry, Ciara. Since you are no longer in a couple, you’re being sent home. Please say your goodbyes.”
This brings me plummeting back down to reality. I immediately jump up in outrage, sprained ankle be damned. “What? No! What about the new people coming in? You can’t send her home!”
“Should’ve thought of that before you stole her man,” Beth Anne says, giving me a dirty look, like I’m trying to take over her brand.
But I don’t have time for her drama, I’m too desperate to save Ciara. “What about this guy?” I point to the new arrival and try to remember his name. “Chris! Chris, you should pick Ciara!” Eliana crosses her arms and gives me a death look as Chris puts his arm around her reassuringly.
This can’t be happening. Madison avoids my gaze as she hugs Ciara tightly.
They’re both crying, and it breaks my heart.
How could they send her home? Unlike the rest of us, she wasn’t here for some ulterior motive.
She wanted to find love with a nice guy for once.
She deserves to be here more than anyone.
I try one last plea. “Please, Shantae. Can’t she stay until the new arrivals come?”
Shantae covers her mic and says to me in a hushed tone, “I don’t write this shit. The producers make the rules, not me.”
I look around frantically for Kristina so I can beg her to keep Ciara, but of course, the one time I need her, she’s not hovering nearby.
When I look back toward the contestants, I see the pain in Javier’s eyes as he says goodbye to Ciara.
Then Ciara turns to walk back up to the mansion without looking in my direction.
I run to catch up to her as I feel tears running down my cheeks. “I’m so sorry, Ciara! I didn’t know you’d be sent home.”
She spins around to face me. “I thought you were my friend. If you liked Javi, you should’ve just told me when I asked you, instead of blindsiding me like this.”
“I am your friend,” I say weakly.
“No. You’re really not.” And with that, Ciara walks off the beach.
I collapse into the sand. I sense someone approaching and look to see a camera operator circling me for a close-up. I cover my face and yell at her, “Go away! This isn’t just some lame dating show. These are real people with real feelings!”
I don’t know if she leaves or not because I bury my head in my hands. A moment later, I smell Javier’s cologne, and a warm hand rubs my back. “Are you okay?”
I wipe my eyes and look at him. “I didn’t want to hurt Ciara.”
He puts his arm around me. “I know. I feel like shit too.”
“She hates me.”
He pulls me close and kisses the top of my head. “No one could hate you.” And that makes me cry even harder because I know it’s only a matter of time before he hates me as well.
But I can’t move, and even though I don’t deserve Javier’s comfort, being held by him is the only thing preventing me from hyperventilating. So we stay like that, hugging in the sand, until Shantae calls our names.
After the third time she shouts, “Grace! Javi!” with growing annoyance, I reluctantly let Javier drag me back over to the rest of the contestants.
I sit there staring at Shantae but can’t seem to focus on what she’s saying. I’m vaguely aware that she’s told Javi and me to get ready for the toga party. Right, because I’m totally in the mood to wear a sheet and dance the night away.
As the rest of the contestants head to the bar area, I find Madison. “Can I talk to you for a sec?”
“I’m not ready to talk yet, Grace.” Her voice is calm but tinged with hurt. “I’m too emotional and don’t want to say things I’ll regret.”
“I understand,” I say softly, admiring her restraint, even while she’s distancing herself from me. I watch her walk away and hope against hope that giving her space will somehow help her forgive me.
I shuffle back to Javier. We’re the only ones left by the lounge area. Just a couple of Love Shack pariahs. I sit down next to him and sigh deeply. “I’m really not in the mood to go to a party.”
“I feel you. Should we make a run for it?” he says lightly, and I know he’s trying to cheer me up.
“Kristina probably microchipped us when we were sleeping.” I sigh.
“Do you want me to tell them you’re sick? I can go to the party and cover for you,” he says with concern in his eyes. And it breaks me. He’s being so kind when I just ruined his chance at an actual love connection.
I manage to hold in my sob and nod gratefully. “Yes, please. Thank you, Javi. I think I just need some sleep.”
He squeezes my hand. “You better take off before Kristina gets here then.” I nod and stand up to leave. “Do you want me to walk you back?” he asks.
“No, I’m okay. You go to the party and have fun. Thank you for covering for me.” I hug him. “And thank you for the date.” He squeezes me back.
When he lets go, I walk up the beach path, cut across the backyard, and prepare to cry myself to sleep on the floor of a murder shack.
Because if tonight was any indication, tomorrow is going to be a shit show.