Twenty
CHAPTER
Icouldn’t breathe. The sheer force behind his swing knocked all the air out of my lungs.
Sharp shadowy tendrils sliced through my skin.
I was drowning, despite there being no water in sight.
I would scream if I could, my lips parted open, but no sound came from them.
Saliva pooled inside my mouth, infusing with my blood.
The taste of iron was thick. I spat onto the soot-covered ground beneath me.
My cell was pitch black, and every shape and shadow gave the illusion of something lurking around me.
Paranoia and fear clouded every crease and crevice of my mind.
I was terrified, shrouded in darkness, and consumed by agony.
Trapped in another nightmare I simply could not escape.
When will this nightmare end?
“You will break,” Kyrell hissed, striking me again.
And again.
And again.
My arms were chained to the ceiling above me.
Blood trickled from my wrists and down my forearms. The scorching pain of my back was too much to handle.
The stinging sensation of every lash I received stretched across the entirety of my being.
My dress was tattered and torn, skin black and bloodied.
Subjected to his will. Unable to escape.
No one was coming for me. I was completely and entirely alone. He was right after all. I was nothing and no one. There was not anything I could do but try and keep my eyes open. It was so hard.
Just a little bit longer…
Again.
And again.
And again.
In a cold sweat, I jolted awake in the dead of night, expecting that familiar sense of dread, only to be met with the scent of Tobacco Vanille. Panting heavily, my palms searched my surroundings by gripping the silk sheets beneath me, attempting to ground myself.
When my eyes first shot open, I thought I actually was there.
I wasn’t, I knew that, but even after all this time taking sanction in the Realm of Stars, the nightmares continued. If anything, they only became worse as time went on.
Every night, it was the same. Memories of the torture I endured during my time in the Realms of Nightmares.
I hadn’t told anyone about the nightmares.
I didn’t want to. I didn’t want them to know the truth about how I felt, the truth about how I felt about myself.
I knew Zathrian had his suspicions, given the way he would ask me how I slept every morning when I joined him at breakfast with the others.
Mateo tried to get me to open up about things, but I never did.
The truth was, I was too scared to talk about it. Too weak.
My right hand slid through my messy curls, peering out the window and toward the stars above.
The mountainous terrain was beautiful, even more so due to the bioluminescent foliage that was scattered across it at this time of night.
I wondered what creatures inhabited those lands.
Maybe if I asked Mateo, we could go explore one day.
The corners of my lips curled into a smile, and, for a moment, I really did love the stars, mapping out constellations and making wishes on them.
I felt it again. That unexplainable tug that coaxed me to leave my bed.
Slipping from beneath the sheets, I made my way toward the door in nothing but socks and a silk nightgown.
I opened the door onto the balcony, the breeze tickling my face with cool air.
Wrapping my arms around myself, I took a step outside and basked beneath the moonlit sky.
The Realm of Stars truly was breathtaking at all hours of the day. Late at night, especially.
I shivered, climbing up the stairs that led to the rooftop. The moment I reached the top of the stairs, my eyes fell on a figure. Wrapped up in a blanket, he sat alone at the bench, gazing up at the stars longingly from what I could tell.
Zathrian turned to look back at me, lifting his arm. “You alright?” he asked, gesturing for me to sit with him.
I closed the distance between us. “Couldn’t sleep,” I replied.
“Nightmares?”
I nodded, sitting down beside him.
Zathrian wrapped his arm around me with the blanket, pulling me into him. For some reason, I let him. Whether it be delusion or exhaustion, I wasn’t sure. I wouldn’t admit it, but something about his embrace was comforting.
He was warm, and the blanket was soft. Zathrian smelled of vanilla bean and bourbon. A scent that had become familiar and soothing the more time I spent around him.
“And what are you doing out here?” I studied his features, watching him as he watched the stars.
“Couldn’t sleep,” he replied, giving the same answer as I did.
“Nightmares?” I asked.
He chuckled, “No. No nightmares… Too much on my mind. That’s why I came out here to clear my head. The stars are comforting.”
I nodded again. My left hand slid to my face, attempting to rub the tiredness from my eyes. “Mm, I can see why you did. The Realm—” I stopped mid-sentence to yawn, “of Stars isn’t all that bad.” My eyes were so heavy, half-closing despite my efforts to keep them open.
“Isn’t all that bad? Gods. I never thought I would hear those words come from your lips,” he replied softly.
“Mmm, don’t make me take it back,” I whispered.
My eyes were closed, but I could feel him smiling from the warmth in his tone. I smiled, too, one that shifted into another yawn. My head landed on his shoulder, and Zathrian pulled me closer to his side.
“Can we stay out here? Just for a little while?” I asked.
“Yeah, we can.”
Too tired to talk anymore, I nodded. Thinking nothing more of him, or this, or the way we sat together on this bench, either.
I shifted slightly. His arm was wrapped around my waist, his fingers aimlessly circling my skin.
He was trying to lull me to sleep. If I wasn’t so tired I might have punched him but, lucky for him, sleep washed over me in a tidal wave quicker than I could protest against it. Within moments, I fell asleep.
This time, where I once was consumed by nightmares, I dreamed comfortably.