Chapter 30
STELLA
I was beginning to doubt I’d ever felt warmth. It could’ve been ten minutes or ten years since Clarissa had neatly deposited me in this room with a strict, ‘Don’t bother trying to get out.’
Make no mistake, it was a beautiful prison cell. One look around would leave you questioning if it even was a prison. But there were signs. Something insidious lurked beneath the beauty. No different than Clarissa herself. What was it Damien had said? Smoke and mirrors. That’s all this room was.
You could feel it lingering, just there. The first was the way time seemed to have no meaning. I was somewhat used to it from living in the Fringe, but here, in the belly of the beast, it was amplified.
The second was the chill, the way I couldn’t get warm despite the blankets I’d so graciously been provided.
The constant ache in my chest was the last thing, although I couldn’t be certain if that was Hell or just my natural reaction to the entire situation.
For the first time in years, I felt like I’d been seen, only for it to all be ripped away from me in the blink of an eye.
And what about poor Archie – what would he do without me?
What if he thought I’d just abandoned him?
‘Knock, knock!’ Clarissa strode into my room without actually knocking, her perpetual sneer firmly in place.
I pushed myself off the floor. ‘Are you here to tell me you’ve come to your senses and are letting me go?’
She rolled her eyes. ‘If you truly believed that, you’re even more na?ve than I thought.’
I glared. ‘Worth a shot.’
Clarissa looked down her nose at me, arching one pale eyebrow. ‘I can’t say I understand what Damien sees in a human, but you’re feistier than most we get down here, I’ll give you that.’
‘Thanks so much.’ I stepped away from her, needing something at my back. Although I doubted that would do much. This was her turf, after all. ‘So what are you planning on doing with me then?’
‘Simple.’ She shrugged. ‘We’re owed a soul.
I would’ve been happy keeping it in stasis, but Damien pulled some strings and thought I wouldn’t notice.
So now I won’t just be keeping it, but destroying it completely.
’ She spoke as if we were discussing the weather, not the matter of the destruction of my soul.
‘Men. Honestly. I always notice when they try anything.’
Anxiety crept in, and I did my best to keep it at bay.
Damien pulled some strings. What did that even mean?
There was no point in asking Clarissa. She was already talking again.
Maybe I could keep her talking long enough to get out of here.
She did enjoy hearing herself talk… but how I would get out of Hell was a different story.
‘…I don’t know where he gets off. Anyway. I’m owed your soul. But once I destroy it, I won’t get to toy with you any more, and that’s so much less fun. So I’ll take my time until the Council meets. Besides, maybe he’ll learn his place this way.’
‘His place?’ I couldn’t help the question.
‘Of course.’ She was bored, and I was nothing but a bug under her heel.
‘Isn’t he… the Devil? Isn’t that his place?’
‘Oh, sweet human child.’ Clarissa smiled and there was nothing sweet in it. ‘The Devil is merely just a title. A placeholder. A scapegoat if you will. A figurehead to point fingers at if something goes wrong. A point Damien seems to forget from time to time.’
I tried to place this new information into a logical order. ‘Are you sure?’
Clarissa’s smile soured. ‘Of course I’m sure. And you’re the perfect way to punish him.’
I crossed my arms, sitting back on the bed. ‘I think you’re misunderstanding the situation. I don’t mean anything to Damien. A bit of fun, maybe.’
‘Mmm.’ She clacked her too-long nails along her arm. ‘That’s why he’s here wanting to see you, right?’
‘Damien’s here?’ I sat upright, suddenly desperate to see him. Had it been days or years? Merely minutes?
‘Yes. And he hates coming down here unless he really has to. So I’m doubting your story.’ She paused the tapping of her fingers, giving me a weird look. Her hair switched from blonde to black so quickly, I thought I might have imagined it.
‘Are you…’ I hesitated, not wanting to seem desperate, even though I could feel it written all over my face. ‘Are you going to let him in?’
I didn’t want to get my hopes up.
‘Yes.’
I narrowed my eyes. ‘Yes?’
‘Why wouldn’t I?’
Because you’re the worst person I’ve ever met with a resentful streak a mile wide.
‘Why wouldn’t I let him in?’ she repeated, the smile back on her face. ‘It’ll make breaking you both so much sweeter.’
I stood, but before I could say anything, she was gone, the smell of decay lingering behind her. Damien walked in through the doors.
‘Damien!’ I rushed into his arms, tears nearly spilling over.
His fingers tangled in my hair and he pulled me close, crushing me to his chest. He smelled of the Fringe, like the moss and ivy when it rained. Like smoke. Like home.
‘Damien, Clarissa says she doesn’t just want to keep my soul. She wants to destroy it.’
‘I know,’ he muttered. ‘She’s been trying to get me back for centuries. I’m sorry. I’ve tried so hard to protect you from it, from all of it. I did my best not to take you.’
I shook my head. ‘Don’t start that now. That won’t get us anywhere.’
He smiled. ‘Good to see Hell hasn’t taken the fight out of you yet.’
I dropped my voice. ‘I won’t let her know how much she gets to me.’ I paused. ‘I take it you can’t get me out of here with a snap of your fingers.’
‘Not without destroying your cellular make-up. I checked you for her tracking magic when I got here, in hopes she’d been overconfident, but Clarissa was thorough. If you survived the transport, she’d be able to find you in seconds.’
‘You’d protect me though, wouldn’t you?’ I felt it, buried in the marrow of my bones, he would.
‘I’d do anything for you, Stella.’ He gripped my face between his hands, staring into my eyes. ‘But if I’m going to spend an eternity with you, I’d rather not be on the run the whole time.’
I tried to smile. ‘I thought you didn’t want an eternity.’
‘An eternity. A year. A day. A moment. The length of time I have with you will never be enough, and I don’t want her to ruin it.’
‘Okay,’ I breathed, held captive by Damien’s gaze. ‘So what do we do?’
‘We do nothing.’ He frowned at me. ‘I got you into this mess and I’ll get you out of it. Your job is to not piss Clarissa off any more than necessary.’
He wanted me to put my life, my soul, in his hands and wait. I’d spent a lifetime being in control, and he was asking me to do the complete opposite. ‘I don’t know if I can do that. Wait, I mean.’
He smiled down at me, brushing a kiss against my forehead. ‘Do you trust me?’
‘Yes.’ Without hesitation.
‘Then you need to trust me when I tell you this. The wrath of Hell is no match for my determination to save you.’
My heart thumped in my chest, calling out to him. The truth bubbled to the surface, unbidden, but not necessarily unwanted. ‘I love you.’
The smile Damien offered me was more delicate than the first blossom of spring. A tiny, fragile thing. For the first time, I thought maybe I’d spoken out of line.
‘I mean, uh, well, I’m not sure what I mean, but you don’t have to say it back or anything I—’
My babbling was cut off by Damien kissing me, hard and fierce.
I could’ve drowned in the kiss, giving in to everything that it offered, but eventually, he pulled back, speaking against our still-connected lips. ‘My feelings for you are not so easily defined by love.’
‘Then what are they?’ Terrified to hear the answer and hungry for the truth.
‘Love and hate are far too similar, don’t you think? The finest thread separates the two. For me to say I love you would be a disservice.’
Was he trying to say he hated me?
‘I’ve struggled for a long time to understand the nuances between good and evil.
Light and dark. And I’ve come to realize everything is a spectrum.
Love is so close to hate on that spectrum, it feels wrong to say that’s all my feelings are.
What I feel for you is so much greater than love, it could never exist in the same realm as hate.
I’m not sure if a word even exists for it.
All I know is that the thoughts of the color of your hair at midnight keep me awake for far more than all the sins I’ve committed trying to save your soul. ’
His words sank into me, one by one.
‘So, yes, in simple words, Stella, I love you. But you deserve far more than simple words.’
This time, when he kissed me, I kissed him back. When he pulled away, he brushed my hair away from my face. ‘She’ll make me leave soon, and if we have any chance of catching her off guard, we have to play by her rules.’
I clutched onto his broad shoulders, a lifeline. ‘I don’t want you to go.’
‘I won’t be far,’ he promised. ‘Only the tiniest sliver of space and time separates us.’
‘Am I supposed to play nice with her, too?’
He nodded solemnly. ‘Please. Right now, you’re valuable collateral.
She won’t hurt you or try and destroy your soul, not while there’s a chance she can get more out of me.
But she might try and punish you in other ways.
And if it gets too much, call my name. I’ll hear you, and be there as fast as I can. ’
‘You’ll hear me?’
‘Every time, Bambi. In every universe.’
I nodded, tucking that knowledge away. ‘Okay. But only because you asked.’
‘There’s my girl.’ He pressed another kiss to my forehead.
‘How’s Agatha? Is Archie okay? Have you been feeding him?’ I mumbled against his chest.
Damien laughed quietly. ‘Everyone is fine. Agatha is good. And yes, I’ve been feeding your feral Hellcat. He was terrorizing Luna when I left.’
‘He is not a Hellcat. He’s a Maine Coon. And I doubt he was terrorizing anyone. He’s a prince.’
‘All right, feeding time at the zoo is over.’ Clarissa stormed into my room with a glare. ‘Damien, yet again, you’ve overstayed your welcome. Ta, now. If I need you again, I’ll be sure to call.’
‘As always, Clarissa, thank you for the warm welcome.’ Damien stepped away from me, never breaking eye contact.
Immediately, the chill of Hell was back.
‘I’ll come for you,’ he promised.
Then he was gone, and I was once again alone with the beating of my heart and the constant drum of my memories. Damien would be back, though. He promised.
He’d be back and then we’d have forever.