Chapter 34
DAMIEN
Have you ever watched someone fall in love? It’s a slow fall at first, so gentle, you don’t even realize it’s happening. One moment, you’re you; the next, your soul isn’t yours. But was it ever yours to begin with? It certainly doesn’t feel that way.
It’s quiet, the way it laces through every cell and bone in your body, until your marrow is nothing but need for them.
That’s the point of no return. Because from then on out, it’s not slow or gentle.
It’s a full throttle into madness, an obsession that only seems to be lighter when you sleep, when finally, finally, you can be with them again, if only in your dreams.
I know all this because as I watched Stella build herself up time and time again, I watched myself fall to pieces for her.
And the wildest thing of all was that it was all worth it. Every ounce of pain, every moment I’d spent desperately trying to keep her alive, even though I didn’t think I’d ever get the chance to hold her, to touch her.
But now that I knew, now that I had held her in my arms, watched the way her eyes turned to glass when she said, ‘I love you,’ the way her whole body melted into mine when I touched her, now it was worth it tenfold.
I’d done a lot of things I regretted in this life, but saving Stella would never be one of them.
I owed her everything. I hadn’t been alive until she breathed life into me.
I rested my head in my hands. Truth be told, I wasn’t sure what was even left for me to decide. My decision was made the moment I laid eyes on her, an antidote for a slow and painful death. It would always be my life for hers.
I stood, summoning the portal to Hell, where the Council would be meeting at any moment. I wondered if I should say goodbye to the house, but the only good memories I had in it were of Stella. Besides, Agatha would know. She always knew.
So without a glance back, I stepped forward to my future, to the destiny that had been laid out before I was born.
I landed with a thud just outside the Council’s looming double doors, towering two stories high, and pushed them open to the round room where they met for occasions like this.
Stella stood in the middle of the room, back to me, still in that lace dress.
When the door slammed into the wall behind, she whipped her head around and gasped. ‘Damien?’
Clarissa stood in front of Stella, the rest of the Council seated in raised wooden stands surrounding the two of them, a mixture of demons.
The smell of ash filled the air, smoke following me as I walked.
When she saw me, her eyes narrowed but I ignored her, turning my attention to Stella, and Stella alone. ‘Hey, Bambi.’
Stella’s eyes flickered with relief, then disappointment, and finally resignation. I walked out to them like I had all the time in the world, until I stood next to her, reaching out until the back of my hand brushed against hers.
‘I don’t recall inviting you to this closed-chamber meeting,’ Clarissa snapped.
‘I don’t recall needing permission to attend my own Council meetings.’
Clarissa rolled her eyes and turned her back on us to address the Council. ‘Colleagues, we’re here today to discuss an important matter: one of our own, our very own Devil, has decided they are above the rules, and the Balance that keeps us all alive.’
‘Are you okay?’ I whispered to Stella.
When she turned to me, she smiled, but her eyes were glassy with tears. ‘Yeah. It’s okay. It was meant to be, right?’
My heart cracked at the vulnerability in her voice. ‘Don’t say that. Nothing is ever set in stone.’
In the background, Clarissa rambled on about being owed a soul, and my treachery in keeping said soul away from her.
Stella shrugged, flicking her wrist toward Clarissa. ‘Isn’t it?’ She looked back up at me. ‘I’d do it all again, though. All of it. I love you, you know that? But I need you to promise you’ll look out for Grace and Archie.’
‘For such insubordination, I propose to the Council that the soul is not just taken and held in stasis, but destroyed entirely. As a reminder to any who come after that our rules are not meant to be broken,’ Clarissa droned.
‘No,’ I whispered. ‘I need you to promise me you’ll be okay.’
‘Damien, you’re the one that’s getting left behind here—’
‘Promise me!’ I snapped.
Stella’s eyes went wide. ‘I promise.’
‘All those in favor, say aye,’ Clarissa finished.
I reached out, grabbing Stella’s hand, slipping the smallest of my silver rings onto her thumb, spinning it around. It wasn’t much. But maybe it would be enough to remember me.
Stella looked down at the ring and then back up at me, glassy-eyed.
One by one, the Council members held up their hands with a murmured, ‘Aye.’
Clarissa turned to us with a sickening smile. ‘Very well. Stella, if you’ll step forward. I’ll do the honors myself.’
Stella squeezed my hand. Once. Twice. ‘I love you,’ she mumbled. She went to step forward to let me go, but I beat her to it.
‘Take mine instead.’ I shoved Stella behind me as she realized what was going on. ‘Clarissa. Take mine.’
Clarissa quickly recovered from her shock, tapping her long nails on her cheek. ‘Well.’
‘Damien, no, you can’t!’ Stella protested behind me.
‘I can and I will.’ I raised a brow to Clarissa. ‘Come on, Clarissa. You know it’s me you want to punish. Take my soul out of stasis and destroy that.’
Clarissa looked dumbfounded. ‘You’re really willing to give it all up for her?’
‘There’s nothing to give up. She is all of it.’
Clarissa turned to the Council. ‘All those in favor, say aye.’
‘Damien.’ Stella pulled me until I turned around to face her. ‘Damien, you can’t do this.’
‘I owe you a debt. That’s all this is. Don’t waste this chance though, okay? And for fuck’s sake, Bambi, be safe. I won’t be around to save your ass any more.’
The tears gathering in her eyes spilled over. Around us, the Council members mumbled their assent.
‘Very well. Damien, step forward.’
I clutched Stella’s hand, stepping backward. ‘I love you. Forever. Every universe. Every eventuality. It will always be you.’ I didn’t bother turning around to look at Clarissa. I could feel her reaching out for my soul.
But my fate had always been with Stella. I was happy. At peace. I smiled at Stella and as I felt my soul crumble to pieces, all I could see was the most beautiful shade of yellow.