Chapter 16
Reaper
Freshly showered and ready to take on whatever today had for me, I moved out of my bedroom and down the hall. Hesitating at Rowan’s door, I was about to knock when I heard the telltale signs of crying.
Fuck.
I’d done that. Because I hadn’t trusted her.
I’d let Chaos and Raf get into my head and I’d been mad that she hadn’t told me the whole truth.
Her explanation had been more than adequate and yet, I’d been so angry that I couldn’t calm down.
The second she left the room I’d missed her.
I’d missed having her naked among my sheets, I’d missed her looking at me like I hung the fucking moon.
Too fast, old man, that little fucking inner voice screamed. I was falling for a girl who was young enough to be my daughter. In fact, I’d stolen her off my own son, that’s how selfish I’d been and now she was in there crying over me.
Fucking prick.
I pushed away from her door, not sure how to comfort her when I knew I had a job to do. Maybe it was better this way until I could sort out Raf. He’d dropped a bomb on us at the Pit, and I needed to figure out what angle he was coming from.
Heading down the stairs, I saw two faces I didn’t want to see. God fucking damn it. Had it been a week already?
“Hey Prez,” Tee’s ruby red lips crooned as I headed past. I ducked my head in a brief acknowledgment before I headed into the Chapel.
Knight, Chaos, Maverick and Shadow sat at the tables.
The other guys who only came in for big services sat at the back, Animal, Snake and Pope.
Trojan wasn’t here, but Maverick was, so that was something at least.
“What we got so far?” I asked Chaos.
“Not a hell of a lot,” he grunted. “But appears Darian has been working for the Ironborne for decades, since he was a kid. He’s brutal. Probably where Raf gets it from, I guess. He’s listed as the sole parent of him around the time he was enrolled in the same school as Rowan.”
“Does he know about Rowan and who she is now?”
“Doesn’t look like it,” Shadow added. “I’ve been tailing him, but he’s not acting sus or trying to make a play.”
“Troj did say Raf is the one that’s been looking, not the Ironborne.”
“Are they involved at all?”
He shrugged. “I suppose so, they did send Raf after Trey. I think Ro just got caught up in it all.”
I fucking hoped that was all it was.
“Mav…outside.”
He looked up from his phone and nodded, pocketing it before joining me outside. I walked him out of the clubhouse so we couldn’t be overheard.
“What’s going on…you miss call outs, your phone goes unanswered, no witty comebacks at others’ expense. Do we have a problem that needs sorting?”
“Only problem I see is your woman being caught up in this mess with the Ironborne.”
It was said harder than I expected from him.
“Dane,” I tried with his real name to show him how serious I was. “Your absence has been noticed.”
He sighed, nodding, as if he had secrets waiting to spill over. I didn’t like secrets in my club, and he knew it.
“I got caught up…it’s done now.”
“Okay brother,” I said. “I know how it is.”
“Only your problem is still here,” he shot back. “I like Ro, I do. She’s a great girl, but she should be at The Burrow with Trey, and you know it. We need you at one hundred percent, thinking like a Prez, not a pussy-whipped playboy with a trophy bouncing on his dick.”
My fist connected with his jaw so fast I couldn’t stop it. The pure rage that shot out of me when he spoke about her like she was a common club girl we use for relief had been the ultimate offense. He was my best friend, and I just cracked him like a two-dollar whore asking for more money.
Fuck.
He held his jaw and looked over at me, amusement in his eyes. Now, the fucker had jokes?
“Look, we’re encroaching on a fucking war with the Ironborne.
She’s a liability and so are you if you can’t get your head straight.
You know what ol’ Mama Hart used to say…
if you love it, let it go. So if you want her safe, and away from danger, let her go…
if it’s real, if it’s true, she’ll make her way back to you. ”
He walked away, and I stood there, letting the cool air wrap around me like a vice. Looking up at the side of the clubhouse, my eyes travelled to her window. She was standing there, watching me, a sad expression on her face as she hugged her body to comfort herself.
That should be me doing that.
I turned my back on her, needing the headspace to think clearly. I hated him for it, but he was right. She was making me weak, and it was going to cost the club.
Burning the bridge between us was going to hurt more than I could imagine, but I doubted very much she would come back to me. She’d been abandoned by every male in her life. Ending things would mean she’d walk away for good.
And I didn’t know if I could do that.
Rowan
He punched Maverick and then he looked up to see me standing in the window. I knew it had been over me. Best guy friends don’t punch each other over something small. The way he’d pushed me away when he thought I’d lied told me I had crossed a line with him.
He’d opened up to me. He had told me things not even Trey knew about him. He felt betrayed by me, and truthfully, I hated myself for it. There had been no reason to withhold that information. I don’t even know why I had.
Maybe, I didn’t want him to judge me like everyone else would.
I hadn’t even told Trey that part of my life.
It had been before him. Once we started to date, everything changed for me.
He had made it so I felt like I could be accepted, just by being me.
But I should have known, even then, that things weren’t what they should be.
Reaper had shown me how it should be. The undeniable chemistry, the way he would look at me like he wanted to devour me, the way his touch would hit every nerve ending at the same time.
Closing my eyes, I walked away from the window and sat on the edge of the bed. I wasn’t welcome here anymore.
I grabbed my luggage and started to pack my clothes, throwing them in, dirty among clean, as my vision blurred with a fresh wave of tears.
The annoying thing, aside from the emotions free flowing, was the way my body ached from being so thoroughly fucked by him last night.
My muscles were sore, and my pussy was still achy with every single move.
I hated that I wouldn’t have it again, but it was better this way.
A clean break.
Before it got too messy, and broke me.
Aren’t you broken now?
Fuck that inner voice. Fuck her to hell.
I zipped up my case and pulled it onto the ground, before I opened the door, swiping at the tears on my cheeks and heading down the stairs.
As I entered the clubhouse, I took note of all the club girls hanging around, off the patched members.
Even during the day, they were always up for a good time.
“Oh look, she’s got her marching orders already,” the cheap snivelly voice of Tori said, causing a gaggle of girls to chuckle.
I spun around, annoyed that they were already back here after what they had done.
Cherry moved to intercept, but I could already feel my heart being ripped apart in my chest. Tee moved forward, eager to lay into me.
“I guess she doesn’t know how to please a man, only a junior version who doesn't even want to touch her. Leaves her to be used by his daddy.”
Even though I knew the truth, it hurt to hear it from her. She could stay here, and I was no longer welcome. This place, everything about it, had become a second home, or an actual home that I enjoyed being in, and now it was stripped away.
Cherry stood beside me, shooing them away. She was about to speak when her eyes lifted to the door. I turned to see Reaper standing there, with Chaos. His eyes drifted to my luggage case, an unreadable expression on his face.
The tension in the room amplified, and it felt like it was only me and him. That is, until Tee called over to him, and told him she’d be more than happy to warm his bed tonight. He didn’t pay attention to her, but he didn’t tell her to fuck off either and that was the main thing.
My heart was hammering. I just needed him to say something and I would stay. I would earn his trust back, I would give it my all because I knew he was worth it. I knew we had something.
“Going somewhere?” he finally asked, his voice level and undeterred from emotion.
“I’ve overstayed my welcome,” I said, annoyed that my voice sounded so deep with unshed tears.
“I’ll say,” I heard Tee say from behind me. It hurt more that he didn’t say anything to defend me, to say that I was being silly and I should go back up to our room. He only nodded.
“Chaos will take you to The Burrow,” he said.
My heart shattered. I wonder if he could see it on my face.
I’d always worn my heart on my sleeve, one of the few qualities Trey had said was a telltale sign of how to handle my emotional outbursts.
I should just go there and be with him, be his beard while he fucked men and we could still be best friends.
Just like it was before. Forget everything about Reaper and his goddamn club.
But even as I thought it, I knew that was stupid. I’d never get over this, and I only had myself to blame.
“Don’t worry Reaper, we’ll keep your bed warm,” Tori said, moving over to him. He smirked at her, that half-hearted smirk that told me he was entertaining the idea.
“Not bloody likely,” he said back to them. I wanted to laugh, to rejoice that even though he didn’t want me, he didn’t want them either, no matter how much they threw themselves at him. “But Cammie can come upstairs.”
He moved past me, without so much as a backward glance. I didn’t dare turn around and watch him take another girl upstairs.
No fucking way.
Chaos looked surprised, but he covered it as he made a motion to usher me outside.
I took a tentative step toward him, unsure my feet would take me.
His keys hanging off his finger as I walked past. Just as I got to the door, I shoved my luggage at him with everything I had, grabbing his keys and taking off toward where the bikes were stored.
He called out to me, and I could see half the clubhouse were coming out to see what the commotion was.
I didn’t stop, I took off, knowing which bike was who’s already.
Jumping on, I thanked the Gods above that Trey had taught me how to ride when we first started dating, back when he had wanted to join the club and had been riding a bike to get used to it.
I was in too much a rush to grab the helmet, because I knew they were coming.
Starting it up, I revved the engine, pulling out of the parking bay and circling around them.
Reaper beside Maverick and Chaos as they looked on in horror.
Reaper, at least, looked a little impressed.
The gates were still open from when Chaos had arrived, so at least I didn’t have to run through it.
The prospects looked absolutely horrified, unsure of what to do.
I moved toward it, picking up speed and taking off, away from them, as a fresh set of tears made their way down my cheeks.
Fuck Wyatt Jameson. Fuck him to hell.
I was not replaceable.
And he would find that out sooner or later.