28. Ivy
IVY
Swarmed with emotions, I'm rooted to the spot as I watch every single soul leave the meeting location.
The silence offers no condolences as I'm left alone with my hated mates.
Fury and tension burn through me with an intensity I’ve never experienced before, a feeling only enhanced by the enclosed proximity to those who continue to lure me in and hold me at arm's length all at once.
My hands clench at my sides as I repeat Viola's words in my mind.
“Ground her. Now.”
My back curls, unraveling and stiffening all at once, until my head tilts back, my eyes locked on the ceiling as my breath lodges in my throat.
I feel completely disoriented and out of touch with the rest of my body, like I'm fighting with my magic over the same matter, only I don't know which side of the fence I stand on, whether I want to tear everybody to shreds or run for the hills.
My fingers flex at my sides as I inhale sharply, attempting to recenter my attention on my mates. My gaze passes over Baron, Teddy, and Archer in a blur, settling on the white fur and large pupils that are part of Sax’s current form.
“Whatever the fuck you think is going to happen right now can be eradicated from your thoughts, because it's not going to come to fruition,” I vow, my voice husky and heavy, burning up my throat as if fire is about to part my lips.
“Ivy,” Teddy says softly, lifting his hand in surrender, and I shake my head.
“Don’t! Don't speak to me,” I snap, fueled with the rage that's been simmering beneath the surface since the night they rejected me. Now I understand what is holding me back; it’s all I can feel.
“Not now, not ever, not if he can't give me the truth I deserve,” I add, watching as Teddy takes a step back, gulping as his gaze casts over his friends.
“What is she talking about?” he asks, and I tilt my head to the side, eyes wide.
“Would you like the opportunity to disappoint me too?” I snarl, and his eyebrows rise as my tongue runs across my bottom lip and I stare at him expectantly.
“Why did you reject me?” The words hang in the air just like they've done twice before today, and he gapes at me in disbelief.
I snicker, the sound hollow and haunting from my own lips.
“How does it feel to succeed so effortlessly?” I muse.
“Ivy… Princess,” he tries, but rage licks across my tongue like acid.
Before I can speak, Baron takes a step forward.
“Ivy, I know you're mad right now, but we're trying to help.”
“Don't bother, it's not wanted,” I retort, my body hot with anger as I take a step toward the door.
Archer follows the movement, blocking my exit.
My nostrils flare and my hands clench at my sides. “Back off,” I command, and he shakes his head slowly, his eyes narrowing.
“You need to listen first,” he states.
“Are you going to tell me what I want to know?” I press, and he sighs.
“You know I'm not going to do that.”
I hate how much more the disappointment weighs inside of me, even though I knew those words were coming. “Then back off,” I snarl, throwing my arms out in front of me in frustration, and fire bursts from my limbs, setting the U-shaped table on fire, engulfing the room in thick smoke.
Frustration and pain hiccup through me.
I need to get away from them as fast as possible.
“I’m done with your secrets, and I'm done with you.”
My body is no longer the one making the decisions around here; that much I know is true.
With my spine straight and my focus narrowed, I take another step toward the door, but Archer follows the movement for a second time.
“Teddy,” he commands, and my gaze snaps to the Water Protector in question.
I gape for a split second, but it's as if my phoenix can understand the command in the name alone, and it makes my magic burn brighter with rage.
“Do it, Teddy,” Archer snaps, and the Water Protector ruffles his blonde hair, uncertainty warring in his eyes as I smile at him.
“Do what he wants and control me. But make me do what you want, and I promise, you will lose me forever.”
Silence bleeds around the room for what feels like an eternity before Teddy drags the chair out beside him and falls into it. He nods at me, silently offering me an out, and I take it, barreling toward the exit.
I run like my life depends on it.
It feels like it does.
To my surprise, I make it out into the open air without issue, and I dart across campus, refusing to slow down as frustration continues to build inside of me.
What did Professor Viola mean by orange eyes? It doesn’t make sense.
Regardless, I feel like I'm losing myself.
The fire’s burning bright inside of me, and despite the struggles that take hold inside of me, I’m too scared to be alone.
Nearing the main academy campus building, I find groups of students continuing with life as if mine isn’t falling apart, and I slow my steps, attempting to blend into the fold, but it takes everything in me to make my way toward the dining hall.
Breathless, I step inside and sag with relief at the sight of my friends at their usual table. Toby catches my attention first, waving me over, and I dart between the tables to join them as quickly as possible, collapsing into my seat between Meadow and Dorian.
Meadow gapes at me, placing her hand on top of mine as uncertainty flashes in her eyes.
“Are you okay?” she asks as Dorian nudges a bottle of water toward me.
I chug half of it down before answering.
“Define okay?” I mutter as Dorian offers me his plate of food. Clearly, the tension isn't just riddled inside of me; it’s floating out of me too.
I take three bites of his cheeseburger before I can finally feel my breathing regulating a little more.
“Bestie, what do you need?” Meadow mutters, and I scoff.
“Killing,” I bite, and her eyes widen.
“I can get a shovel.”
I scoff. “Not someone else. Me.”
“Huh? Come again,” she breathes, and I roll my eyes at myself.
“I’d rather not die, but the blissful peace and rest that comes of it is rather alluring right now,” I admit, my gaze instinctively snapping to the entrance just in time to see my hated mates.
The tension around me escalates, but seeing Sax still in his tiger form has a way of calming the madness inside of me a little more.
“I’m assuming it has something to do with them?” Meadow clarifies, and I hum.
“When does it not?” I mutter, and my friend runs her hand down my arm, forcing my attention back to her as she offers me a smile.
“Ivy, I don't think it's death you need. It's a girl's night.”
I shake my head. “I don’t—”
She presses her finger to my lips, shushing me as her eyes glisten with mischief.
“Leave it to me.”
“We look too cute,” Meadow declares, and my heart swells at the sight of us in matching pajamas.
I feel overwhelmed in a way I haven't quite experienced before, as if I don't know what to do with the happiness and joy that resonate inside of me.
Running my hand over the silk material, I smile. “You didn't have to do this,” I breathe, and she hip checks me.
“I know, but I wanted to,” she insists as I stare at my reflection.
Brushing my hair behind my ear, I feel my nerves flutter in my stomach. “Sometimes I wonder why you're so nice to me,” I admit, and she offers me a sad smile.
“Losing my mom felt like losing a part of myself too, and when I look at you, it's like you're missing that same piece. I feel that connection in my soul.” Tears threaten to burn the back of my eyelids, but I manage to keep them at bay as she exhales.
“Now, enough of the soppy shit. We need some bliss,” she declares, spinning us both around to stare at the setup she's made across my bed.
There are bowls of snacks, enough for a hundred people, scattered pillows and throws, and a promise of peace in the air. The ambient lighting is cutesy too, and I’m excited for the projector she brought so we can kick back, relax, and watch a movie.
I'm thankful that she opted to do it in my room again, bringing my space to life, turning the four walls into a home with ease.
We settle in, getting comfortable, and just as we do, a flash of red barrels through the door, zipping around the room before nestling at the bottom of the comforter.
“What are you doing here?” Meadow asks as Ember gets comfortable.
“Girl time,” she replies like it should be obvious, and I tilt my head.
“How do you know there's girl time?” I ask, acutely aware that I haven’t seen her since my meltdown earlier, and she rolls her eyes.
“Coal said so.”
Of course he did.
I sigh. “So I'm finally worthy of your time then?” I muse, earning another eye roll as she twirls in the air.
“When you're doing something fun, absolutely.”
I plant a hand on my chest. “You make me feel used,” I mutter, a smile on my face, and she exhales.
“Ivy, please. I'm always in your favor.”
I blink at her, but Meadow speaks first.
“When?”
My thoughts exactly.
Ember gives us both a pointed look. “Well, for one, I'm aware we don't know why they rejected you two years ago, and I'm trying with all of my heart to find the reason.”
I gape at her in disbelief.
The tension that threatened to lie between us melts as I soften.
“Thanks, Ember, but it's only going to bring further heartache, and they're not worth it,” I express, and Meadow nods.
“Besides, we are not talking about them tonight.” She lifts a glass of champagne, and I do the same. I was planning on avoiding alcohol since the other night, but girl time calls for needs, and this is one of them.
Clinking my glass against hers, I bring the rim to my lips.
“Agreed.”
I gulp down more than necessary.
“Or any night,” Meadow adds with a snicker, offering her glass out again, and the sound of our drinks clinking rings through the air.
“Double agreed,” I confirm, downing the rest of the bubbles, letting them slip down my throat with ease as a knock comes from the door.
“Oh, hopefully that's food,” Meadow says excitedly, rising to her feet as she darts to the door.
I startle as it opens to reveal Dorian on the other side, and my heart starts to race.
“What are you doing here?” Meadow asks before I can blurt the same words from my lips, yet his eyes still find mine over her shoulder.
“Truth?” he asks, and I gulp.
“I don't think I can bring myself to hear it.”
He offers me a tight smile. “Food,” he starts, extending his hands, piled high with half a dozen pizza boxes. “And surveillance,” he adds.
I roll my eyes.
“Of course.”
“I also come with a plus side,” he continues, offering me a wink before he steps aside to reveal three familiar faces: Greta, Aster, and Cami.
I lurch to my feet with excitement at the new arrivals, and the air is quickly filled with squeals and giddiness as they filter in.
We take turns embracing, and I find myself in Greta’s arms when she turns to Dorian with a smile.
“I’m going to assume surveillance can take place from the hallway,” she clarifies, and Dorian shakes his head.
“Archer insisted on the inside.”
“Archer can fuck off,” Greta says sweetly, a second before Aster slams the door in his face before he can retort. “No offense,” she adds, turning her full attention my way, and I shrug.
“None taken. Besides, what are you doing here?”
Cami rolls her eyes, arms laden with pizza boxes, as she leans against her sister. “We're always going to be invited to girl time,” she explains, and I smile, taking in the fact that we’re all wearing the exact same pajamas.
“Now, someone hit play on the movie, and someone else open the pizza boxes. I'm starving,” Aster declares, diving onto the bed to choose the same spot she took last time.
Giddiness fills the air, a bubble of excitement swirling around the room as we all fall into a comfortable silence, Ember too, who perches herself on the top of the headboard as Meadow starts the comedy movie.
Laughter continues to flood the room as we stuff our faces with pizza, getting lost in the movie, but I’m repeatedly brought back to the present, losing myself to something much closer too.
I can’t stop watching the girls and Greta interact.
It's fun seeing them be so open and carefree, leaning into one another and showing love in a light I've never seen before.
It's almost too much to watch, but it only heightens when Greta wraps her arm around my shoulder, tugging me against her side as she reaches for Meadow’s hand.
How do I always feel the strongest in the presence of these women?
It hurts my heart with joy, a sense I felt earlier when I was standing side by side with Meadow, and I know I’ve only truly felt it in the presence of one other too.
Hugo.
“Thank you for coming,” I blurt. “For showing up, even when I didn't know I needed it,” I mutter, and Greta kisses my temple, making me melt at her motherly touch.
“My girl, I will always be here.”
A thud vibrates from the doorway, shattering our moment as all six of us snap our attention toward the sound.
“What was that?” Aster mumbles, and I gulp, straightening my spine as I swing my legs over the side of the bed.
“There's only one way to find out.”