Chapter 9
Chapter
Nine
Reed gripped the grab handle above the door as Siren drove down the bumpy road deep in the mountains. As the sun faded toward the west, she parked at the dead end of what looked like it had once been a logging staging area, surrounded by dense forest.
“We’ll camp here tonight,” she said.
Reed nodded. He’d been quiet since patching up her wounds, still processing everything that had happened since he’d walked into Steel Protection that morning. The ambush. The bodies. His bear bursting out of him without permission. Her calm competence through all of it.
Siren got out and walked the perimeter, checking for something he didn’t understand. He climbed out, shoving his hands in his pockets and waited by the cargo hatch.
She returned and hit the lock on the key fob, before opening it up. She explained the camping equipment she had. He pulled it out while she scouted a flat area to set up the tent.
It was the type of small two-person backpacking shelter he’d used many times before. And she left him to set it up while she set up the rest of the camp.
She opened a small camping stove and placed it on a metal stand, explaining she didn’t want to start a fire. Even out here, she didn’t want to draw any attention to their location.
Once he’d finished setting up the tent, he laid down sleeping pads and sleeping bags while she started a pot of boiling water on the stove.
She’d unfolded two small camping chairs and had unpacked a variety of packaged camping foods. The final shreds of daylight were sinking behind the mountain as she filled two cup of noodles with boiling water from the kettle.
The only light was from a small LED lamp and the butane flame from the stove. He watched her as he ate his noodles, crickets humming in the trees.
“Have you ever lost control of your shift like that before,” she asked.
“It only happens when I’m really scared,” he said, dipping his fork into his cup of noodles.
She handed him a protein bar and a packet of dried fruit, then leaned back in her chair, gazing up at the night sky.
“When did it start,” she asked, her voice low.
“The first time I remembered was when I was about thirteen. There were these boys from school. They used to bully the younger kids. That always really bothered me. You know? I hated to see people acting like that.”
He drank the last of the broth in his cup and then opened the protein bar. Siren was slowly eating the fruit from her packet, watching him with those penetrating blue eyes.
“There was this one day after school. I was walking by the park on the way to Fate Mountain Diner to meet up with one of my dad’s old friends.
Shane Keenan owns the place, and I used to hang out there after school some days.
” He took a bite of the protein bar, thinking of Shane’s history with his own bear.
“I saw these boys picking on this fourth grader. We were in seventh grade, and I couldn’t understand why they’d do that.”
Her eyes never left him.
“So, I walked over there. I was going to stop them. I’m not typically into confrontation or fighting or anything like that. But, you know, I’m a grizzly shifter. So, I figured I could handle myself. I might seem like I’m this sensitive guy, but I wasn’t really afraid of them.”
He opened the fruit packet and took a bite of dried mango.
“I told them to stop. When they turned their attention to me, they let the little kid go, and he ran off. I figured it was all good, but they ganged up on me.”
Reed shook his head, the memory etched into his mind.
“I knew these kids knew I was a shifter. Trying to fight me was kind of dumb. I guess they figured I wouldn’t shift and attack them. I had kind of a reputation for being a nerd.”
Siren watched him intently, letting him finish his story without interrupting.
“They started to throw punches, and I took a few hits. Then I tripped and fell on a rock and hit my head. The pain was intense and something snapped inside me. These kids started to kick me when I was down and injured and my grizzly burst out of my skin.”
Reed sighed heavily, looking up at the sky. He rarely talked about this issue or what had caused it. It felt both cathartic and overwhelming to share so much of himself. But Siren was his mate. And for some reason, he couldn’t hold himself back.
“I swatted at the kids. I knocked one of them down and he broke his elbow. The others ran off, and I started chasing them. If Shane hadn’t come running out of the diner and stopped me in my tracks, I don’t know what I would have done to them.
I wasn’t in control. Shane calmed me down, and I was finally able to shift back. ”
Reed went quiet, thinking of how humiliating it had been.
“At home that night, I laid in my bed trying to relax. But I remembered something I’d probably suppressed for a long time. When I was really little, like four years old. I’d been out in the backyard…”
He took a ragged breath. This was the memory that really cut to the core. It was almost too difficult to talk about out loud.
“This massive dog came rushing out of the forest. I don’t know what type of dog it was. Some kind of cross breed. But it was huge. It just came running straight at me.”
He could still see its massive jaws and wiry fur. He could still feel the fear.
“I’d been playing with my action figures, and I didn’t even notice it until it was right on me. It jumped on top of me and bit my arm. I shifted in that instant and bit that dog. I can still taste its blood on my tongue.”
Siren’s face was cast in shadows. Her eyes steady, her expression unreadable. “I couldn’t remember what happened after that. But over the years, I realized I must have killed it. I asked my dad about it, and he told me that it was fine. But I could tell from the sound of his voice that it wasn’t.”
Reed trailed off, his voice shaky. Stress pumped in his veins, and he felt it in his fingertips. Siren was quiet, watching him without a shred of judgment in her eyes.
“You have no reason to feel guilty. You had to defend yourself.”
“I know that intellectually, of course. But the fear and shame remain. That fear response hasn’t happened in years. I had my shift under control for the most part. But a gunfight and shifting trauma don’t mix well.”
She raised an eyebrow and let out what could only be described as a chuckle. “I can help you train your nervous system to resist the stress response.”
“It’s fine. I have it under control.”
“It’s not a request. You didn’t get yourself killed today. And you inadvertently helped to a degree. But losing control of your shift is a liability. I can’t allow it to happen again.”
Reed felt chastened, embarrassed. His cheeks burned and he wanted to go hide in the tent. “I’m not trying to criticize you, Reed. I’m trying to keep you safe.”
“Yeah. No. It’s fine. I get it,” he blurted out.
He’d just shared his deepest darkest secret and now she wanted to give him combat training or something. He knew he shouldn’t be offended. But part of him felt weak under her scrutinizing gaze.
“When you were in danger today…” her voice cracked. “I can’t allow that to happen again, Reed.”
He loved the sound of his name on her lips. The tone of her voice told him she cared. He instantly felt less offended and saw her offer of training for what it really was.
“You’re right. I could use your help. I don’t want to put either of us in danger or to jeopardize your mission.”
“I’m glad you understand,” she said yawning. “I really need to sleep. Usually, I would keep watch but I’m wounded, so I’m going to take a chance tonight. I have some motion sensors I’ll set up around camp that will alert us if anything human size approaches within one hundred meters.”
She unpacked a kit from her gear and began to place the devices at intervals around the campsite.
“It will sound an alarm if anything comes within range,” she said, returning to the camp. “We both need some real sleep.”
She carried the LED lamp into the tent and climbed inside. Reed watched Siren unlace her shoes and climb into her sleeping bag from the doorway.
“Are you going to come in or are you sleeping out there?” she asked, unstrapping her pistol.
He crawled in and zipped the tent flap behind him. Siren lay down on her back and stared at the ceiling. Reed pulled off his shoes and crawled into his sleeping bag. They both lay there silently, her musk and gunmetal scent filling his nostrils in the closed space.
His bear roared inside him so powerfully, he had to clench his jaw to keep it inside. She was six inches away, lying on her back. The sound of her breathing filled the closed space. Her body heat radiated off her.
He turned his head and found himself staring directly at her profile. The line of her jaw, the curve of her throat. There was something about her that was so incredibly sharp but also devastatingly feminine. It did him in.
His bear was pacing under his skin, desperate to touch her. The mate bond was a physical ache in his chest, in his groin. She was right there. He could touch her if he reached for her, but he kept his hands inside his own sleeping bag.
“Goodnight,” she said, turning off the LED lamp.
“Goodnight,” he said, his voice raspy.
They lay there in silence, the forest sounds filtering through the tent fabric. Crickets, the low wind, the distant hoot of an owl in the trees. Reed’s heart pounded in his ears.
He was acutely aware of her movements. The scent of her body filled his lungs. Was she feeling it too? This insatiable pull?
He stared at her, with her back to him. He was desperate to reach out and pull her against him. To feel her slim, taut body in his arms. The tension in the small space was so thick it felt like he was choking on it.
Siren turned around to face him and he almost turned away. He’d been staring at the back of her head, fantasizing about pulling her against him. His face burned in the darkness.
He could see the glint of her eyes, staring at him. The walls felt like they were closing in. He wanted to say something, but he couldn’t speak.
He’d just told her things he never spoke of to anyone. The kids. The dog. The taste of blood. It was part of himself he didn’t want to look at.
“I’m sorry if I was insensitive about your shift,” she said, her voice soft. He’d never heard her use this tone before. “I just… I don’t want you to get hurt. I’d never forgive myself if I let that happen.”
“I feel like I should be protecting you,” he said, hating that he was the one who needed her protection.
“Just let me help you.” She reached out from her sleeping bag and grasped his shoulder. It was the first time she’d touched him. A wave of heat ran through his entire body. “I have extensive training in this type of thing. That’s how you can protect us both. Okay?”
There was a pleading tone in her voice that made him melt. He couldn’t help it. The warmth of her hand on his shoulder made him harden. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt like this.
He wanted to grab her and kiss her. Rip off the sleeping bag and feel her naked flesh under his palms. Taste her mouth, her skin, her pussy.
“I want whatever you want,” he said, his voice rough as gravel.
“Good,” she said, sounding relieved. She let go of his arm and turned on to her back.
He watched her in the low light. His cock was hard as steel. His mate was lying right there. He gritted his teeth and turned over to stare at the ceiling. He knew his own pheromones were pumping into the tent, filling the space with his need.
Reed reminded himself that Siren had been shot. She was hurt and bleeding. He could smell it under the scent of her musk. He could never in a million years initiate what his inner bear was begging for and showing him in a barrage of erotic images.
“Reed.” Her voice was husky. Sexy in ways that made this all a thousand times harder.
“Yeah,” he said, his voice cracking. He wanted to kiss her. Just one kiss. The need was so intense it hurt to resist it.
“We should sleep,” she said.
“Yeah.”
She rolled over on her side, facing away from him. He did the same, covering his nose with his own T-shirt. The scent of her body was doing crazy things to his inner bear, and he needed to do something to make it stop.