Chapter 18 #2
I scratched my neck. My nails felt strange against my skin, delicate, like me. None of what he said made sense. “I’m transitioning to alive? How does that work?” I should stick to the basics. It couldn’t be true. Couldn’t be possible, but neither could loving two people so much in one life.
Richard the Commander said, “You’ve been drinking from an angel, bindings that tie the two of you together.
As you near life, he nears death, and vice versa.
Not that he’ll die without you, he’ll just become like this miserable, lonely, cantankerous soul,” he said, smacking Ever’s chest. My father?
He looked bored by the insults. They’d known each other for a long time, or they wouldn’t be so comfortable speaking like that, touching each other, but if my father was comfortable with someone like the commander of the hosts, what did that make him? I’d known he was terrifying.
I licked my dry, cracked lips. “Ever is my father?”
“Yes.”
I looked at the dour man with enormous shoulders and wings like steel. “That explains why we have the same taste in chocolate.”
The Commander smiled slowly. “Yes. He is your father and has already become very attached to you, from the moment he saw you, looking like your mother, only undead.”
Ever laughed, harsh and irritated. “She looks like my mother, not hers. Her mother was…” He trailed off with a sigh. “And she named you Louisa, after my mother. But she never wrote to the HOST’s asking about me.”
“She said that you died, that you would have found her otherwise. Why didn’t you?”
His face was grave, stiff with emotion he didn’t know how to express.
“When I returned, everything was gone. Bombed out by another platoon of angels. She was gone, and her whole village with her.” Pain burned in his eyes as he stared at me, and I stared back, feeling his pain and needing to help him deal with it.
“She left before that happened, smuggled me and boxes of books on a boat with the money you gave her as soon as she realized that she was pregnant. You helped her find a better life in a better place.”
Some of his pain eased as he nodded.
The Commander exhaled and then took my hand and patted it, holding it in his warm hands while I stared at him, the feel of him wrong, strange.
“I know you don’t like holding hands with a dangerously diabolical angel, but it will help you not die while Gavriel is off on his mission.
When he comes back, he can hold your hands to keep them warm. ”
“Ever doesn’t want to hold my hands? I must take after him, the undead version of me.”
“No, Ever has no warmth to give you as he’s already done all he can. That’s his blood dripping into your system, along with a large amount of love and magic. That’s why he’s so tired. Don’t you think he looks old when he’s tired?”
A wave of something strange and uncomfortable washed over me. I looked over at the grumpy angel, catching his dark, indomitable gaze. “You don’t need to give me your life. You already did that when you married my mother. You owe me nothing.”
His brow lowered, shadowing his dark eyes.
“I almost killed you once. I was prevented by the current commander at the time, two before our current fearless leader here. He saw in you the potential to defeat Tralcon. You were the only one who could have done it, you, the daughter of an angel of death. That’s why you were so good at dealing death, why you could only kill a certain way, execution, not pleasure or revenge.
Justice. And now that destiny, that duty, it will be married to another reaper.
If you have children, they will be born for the blood. ” He sounded depressed at that.
The Commander clapped Ever on the shoulder.
“Give her some time to get used to the idea of being alive before you marry her off and get her half a dozen holy terrors. Gavriel may also deeply resent the fact that we’re dragging her back to life without her consent and refuse to continue his line, and your line, just to show us that we can’t manipulate the world at our whim. ”
Ever turned his glower on him. “Our whim? I’m an honest executioner.
You’re the mastermind behind a thousand complicated plots around the world, searching for traces of angelic lines that have long vanished.
I’d resigned myself to dying in peaceful reflection with my books until you brought her to me. ”
“Who came and begged me to help you save her, your precious daughter who had paid a thousand times over in misery to deserve some happiness? You waxed eloquent,” the Commander said, jabbing his finger in Ever’s direction.
Ever’s scowl darkened even as my heart warmed. “I didn’t wax anything. Eloquence is a matter of thinking before you speak.”
“Your life has purpose and meaning outside of the cause. Home. Family. Aren’t these more than the title of Reaper?
Of course they are, as you’re a noble angel.
Family is everything.” He sighed heavily, and a frown flickered over his brow.
“If only Richard would see that. I’d like him to get married before I die. ”
“Are you planning on dying soon? If so, I could help make arrangements,” Ever grumbled.
The Commander beamed at me, ignoring the other angel. “You don’t happen to know anyone who could put up with my son, do you?”
I blinked at him. “No, sorry. Not that he isn’t lovely, but I’m still going to kill him for exploding shrapnel into Gavriel’s back. He said ‘singe,’ not explode! There’s a difference that someone needs to explain to him.”
The Commander’s smile softened. “You’re absolutely right. He needs to see that Gavriel’s got other responsibilities and can’t just play with him for the rest of his life. He has a family, which will doubtless send a powerful message to Richard about the need to find his own happily ever after.”
Ever snorted. “You got your Miracle settled down. Don’t go looking for another miracle so soon. Also, I’m not sure it’s righteous to curse any female with your son. Not that he isn’t lovely,” he added, shooting a slight wink at me.
I smiled at him while I felt slightly more warm and settled. “Thank you,” I said, looking from one angel to the other.
Ever raised his brows. “For manipulating you and forcing you to take a life you didn’t ask for?”
“Yes. It feels like care. Sacrifice. Possibly love.”
“Of course it is,” the Commander said, patting my hand, feeding me ever more warmth and strength. “We’re angels. We have very pure motivations.”
Ever snorted, but he was smiling. “If you can rest, you should. When Gavriel comes back, he’ll want to gaze into your eyes, which works better if they’re open.”
Gavriel? He’d come back, and I’d be alive?
They made it sound like he wanted to marry me, like happily ever after was a done deal.
Alive. “Can you explain to me this entire process of being turned alive? Is it the same as being turned after death? I want to know what to be prepared for.” It couldn’t be possible, but if it were possible, the price would be too much to pay.
Would Ever die? Would Gavriel? Would the HOST’s commander demand my soul?
A hundred years of killing for his cause?
The Commander cleared his throat. “I’d love to tell you details, but it’s not a very common procedure.”
“Impossible is what it is,” Ever said.
“Which is why you asked me to do it,” the Commander shot back.
“Obviously. I wouldn’t come to you for something that wasn’t impossible; I’d just do it myself.”
“Of course. The great Ever Storm wouldn’t stoop to asking for help for anything other than bringing his daughter back to life. You know, I could help you with other things too, like when you’re lonely, I could give you something to do.”
“Something to do? You mean embroil me in one of your political agendas.”
“With other people who are also helplessly embroiled. You could save all of them from my diabolical clutches, but instead you stay in your little cave, messing around with statuary and reading novels.”
Ever growled back, “I built a house in one of the most dangerous places on the northern line. I push back the darkness, so don’t call it reading novels. Just because you didn’t assign me a mission doesn’t make it less of a mission; it just comes from my own conscience instead of yours.”
The Commander waved a hand. “Yes, yes, I’m sure we’re all grateful for your work. Speaking of, Louisa, do you mind if I call you Louisa?”
I blinked at him, nervous from the way he was looking at me with a dangerous intensity in his eyes.
Here it came. He’d let me know the price, and I’d have to pray that Gavriel wouldn’t pay it.
If I were alive, did that mean I should pray?
I licked my lips. “Hearing you call me Louisa is strange, but so is turning the other way.” Strange was not the right word. Impossible.
The HOST commander leaned forward, blue eyes suddenly intent.
“That’s right. The thing is that you’re going to pass out soon, and when you wake up, I’m not going to be here.
The duty falls to your father to watch over you while you rest. I have to manage some issues that take a personal touch.
What I wanted to ask you, Louisa,” he said, his eyes burning into me while my heart beat faster, skipping and clenching painfully.
Here it came. The price. “Is if you’d mind watching over your father for me.
Ever Storm is notorious for not complaining even when he’s long past the point he should be dead.
It’s his greatest weakness. It was fine when he was young and healthy, but you see how old and tired he is.
Will you please take a nice nap, and then keep an eye on him when you wake up?
Make sure his skin isn’t getting more waxy than it is now, and his eyes, that they glow with his usual crackling energy? ”
That was the price? That I look after Ever? I glanced at him. He looked irritated and slightly amused. “I don’t understand,” I said slowly. “What’s the price?”
“The price?” The Commander stared at me, confused.
“Nothing is free.”
He cocked his head, and his smile became bittersweet.
“You paid the price by loving Gavriel. Also, being alive means that you’ve lost your vampire strength, speed, and invulnerability.
You’ll be weak for a long time. You’ll never be Ruby Blood again.
You’ll have limitations. Some people seek immortality that you’ve lost.”
I studied him, at the truth that blazed in his eyes.
The price for life was weakness? That would take some getting used to, but for life?
It was nothing. I slowly smiled at him and then at Ever.
He wasn’t anything close to death, and he was over a hundred and fifty years old.
I probably wasn’t going to die any time soon.
“I’m guessing that he’s asking me to watch you to help give me a sense of purpose, which will help me with this impossible transition. You’re nothing close to death.”
The Commander winced. “That’s right. I’m dealing with Ever’s daughter. I am also genuinely concerned that Ever will pour too much into you, leaving him weak and wan. I think that if you cause his death, it will set you back. Also, a good angel will be gone without having seen his grandchildren.”
I reached out and grabbed Ever’s wrist. I checked the temperature, pulse and the feel of his papery skin.
My nerves weren’t as sensitive, but he felt steadily alive.
“We wouldn’t want him to die without seeing these mythical grandchildren we aren’t burdening me with before Gavriel is even aware that I’m human.
He may simply be addicted to being drained by me and want nothing to do with a live girl.
” My heart clenched and breathing became difficult.
Was that possible? More possible than me coming back to life.
The Commander smiled at me. “I suppose that’s possible. Like you only want him for his blood.”
I scowled at him. “That’s why you sent him away, because he’d never agree to risk my pathetic vampire life with something as impossible as transitioning from death, not to fetch some marvelous talisman.”
He winked at me and patted my hand. “Of course. But you’re the one who grabbed Tranquility. That was suicide.”
“It was necessary.”
“It was death. You couldn’t continue as a vampire, but perhaps you can continue as something else. After a hundred years, aren’t you ready for a change?”
I blinked at the Commander. Team Leader. Richard’s dad, stomach churning, heart aching. “Thank you.”
He patted my hand. “That streak of sense, you inherited it from your grandmother.”
Ever snorted.
I fell asleep to the sound of their low quarrelling. That was how two powerful and awkward angels communicated their love. Brothers in combat, friends for life. Life. That really was a miracle.