Chapter 20 Lucy
Lucy
The knock came after sunrise. A sharp, deliberate knock, and not the kind you ignore.
I blinked awake, heart hammering, and reached under my pillow for the knife I kept close—a habit I’d picked up from Caleb. The room was still dim, the motel curtains leaking pale gold light across the floor.
I crept to the door and peered through the peephole. Jay stood there looking tired, with even more stubble on his face. My stomach tightened in irritation.
I hesitated, not out of fear, but out of principle. After last night, he had some nerve.
Still, I cracked the door just enough for my voice to slip out.
“What?”
Jay stood in dark jeans, white T-shirt moulded to the muscles of his chest and his leather jacket, looking like he hadn’t slept.
Coffee from the cafe next door, in one hand, helmet in the other.
His eyes were bloodshot, like he’d spent the whole night thinking, and I couldn’t stop noticing the way the morning light caught the sharp planes of his face, the faint scar near his jaw, the curve of his shoulders.
My chest thudded, and I forced my gaze away.
I cracked the door wider, the chain still hooked, and his eyes dipped, from the bare skin my pyjama shorts didn’t cover to the thin straps of the vest I’d slept in. They didn’t linger, not exactly, but the flicker of heat in his gaze was there. My pulse jumped, traitorous, as I unlocked the chain.
I snapped, “Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”
Jay’s jaw tensed, no apology in his stare. “Don’t tempt me.”
The words hit low, hot, sparking something I shoved down hard. My pulse raced.
“Get dressed,” he said flatly, holding the helmet out.
I blinked at him. “You realise it’s six a.m., right?”
He offered me the coffee. “You said you wanted in.”
I didn’t take the cup. “I also said I wasn’t your soldier.”
Jay didn’t flinch. “You don’t get to choose your hours in this world, princess. You just try to survive them.”
The words grated, but I felt a flicker of something in my stomach that had nothing to do with anger.
“Oh, so I’m ‘princess’ now?” I snapped. “Funny, I don’t remember pledging to your kingdom.”
Jay sighed, ran a hand through his hair, and for a brief second, his fingers lingered along the side of his face, almost brushing the stubble. My throat went dry.
“Look, I didn’t come here to fight. Not again. There’s something you need to see, but I’m not going to drag you. You want to stay angry, stay angry, but don’t say I didn’t give you a choice.” He turned, like he might actually leave.
That should’ve been the end of it. Let him go. Let him stew in the mess he made. But my curiosity and something deeper rolled in my gut.
“Wait.”
He stopped, and I opened the door a little more, still guarded, my pulse quickening for reasons I didn’t want to admit. “Is this about Caleb?”
“Yeah.”
“Tell me.”
“Once you’ve gotten dressed.”
I snatched the helmet from his hand. “Then wait outside.”
He didn’t leave. Instead, Jay stepped past me like he owned the place, setting the coffee on the table. He leaned against the dresser, arms crossed, shoulders filling the room. His gaze tracked me, slow and deliberate, lingering too long on my bare skin. Not casual—possessive.
“Seriously?” I snapped. “What part of outside didn’t you understand?”
His jaw ticked, but his gaze never left mine. “Not leaving.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Why? Afraid I’ll run?”
“You won’t,” he said. “You want answers too much. But I’m not giving you the chance to slam that door in my face again.”
Something dark flickered in his expression, almost like he wanted me to test him.
I threw the helmet on the bed and grabbed my bag, shoving past him towards the bathroom. His arm brushed mine as I went by, solid and warm. I caught the rumble of his breath, low in his chest, and it sent a shiver down my spine.
Behind the closed door, I pressed my palms to the sink, trying to steady my breath.
I changed fast, pulling jeans over bare legs and yanking on a sweater as if covering up would stop me from feeling so vulnerable under his gaze.
Still, when I opened the door, his gaze swept over me once, slow, deliberate, and for a second, I swore his jaw eased like he was relieved I wasn’t bare anymore.
“Better,” he muttered, pushing off the dresser. Then his eyes caught mine, lingering, unreadable. “Not that it’ll make me forget what I saw.”
Heat crawled up my neck, fury and something hotter swirling in my chest. I should’ve slapped him again. Instead, I grabbed the helmet and shoved past him.
“Let’s go,” I snapped.
Jay got on his bike, and I climbed onto the back. Not because I trusted him and not because I’d forgiven him, but because Caleb was dead, and Jay was still the only person who had pieces of the truth.
We didn’t speak as the wind slapped against us and the road unspooled beneath the tires.
I kept my hands on his jacket, loose enough to say I’m still here but tight enough to stay on the bike.
Every brush against his back made something flare low in my chest. The smell of his aftershave, something dark and spicy, made my pulse race.
We pulled off at the edge of a dry lakebed, and Jay killed the engine.
“This is where Caleb came when he didn’t want to be found.”
I climbed off, arms folded tight. The cold bit through my sleeves, and so did the bitterness in my voice. “Great, a wasteland. Exactly how I pictured this reunion.”
“I brought you to the truth,” he said, already walking.
He stopped near a cluster of dry brush and started digging. I watched in silence as he pried up a rusted ammo box, popped the lid with his knife, and pulled out the contents: a burner phone, a torn-up notebook, and a flash drive taped to an envelope.
I stepped closer, the breath catching in my throat, suddenly aware of how close his body was, how grounded and real he felt.
“You kept this?”
“Didn’t know it was his at first,” he said. “I got a note from him the night he died. Found this right after.”
“And you didn’t think to tell me?”
“Because I didn’t know if I could trust you,” he said. “Didn’t know if you still gave a damn.”
That hit hard. Too hard.
“You think I stopped caring just because I left?”
“I think people change,” he said, voice cold and bitter. “You did.”
“You’re one to talk,” I snapped. “You’re not the guy I used to know either. The Jay I remember didn’t hide behind a title and throw me out like a stranger.”
His eyes flashed, ice blue and dangerous. For a fraction of a second, the heat under my skin betrayed me. “The Lucy I remember didn’t slap people in motel parking lots like a goddamn child.”
I took a step towards him, anger flaring hot again, and immediately felt the magnetic pull to him, the way my body registered him before my brain would allow it. “Maybe because the Lucy you remember didn’t have to drag the truth out of someone she used to trust.”
“Maybe the Jay you remember didn’t have a brother’s blood on his hands,” he shouted.
The silence after that felt heavy. We both stood, breathing hard, the box between us. My throat burned, but I didn’t look away.
“I didn’t kill him, Lucy.”
“I never said you did.”
“But you sure as hell act like I failed him.”
I didn’t answer, because maybe I did feel that way or maybe I was the one feeling guilty because I had left. Maybe I wasn’t ready to admit it.
Jay finally looked down at the box again. “Caleb wanted you to have this, but it’s not safe in the clubhouse, not now. Things are shifting. There’s heat coming, and I can’t trust half the table.” He sounded worn down and tired.
I reached for the box, but before I could pull it away from him, he grabbed my wrist. His fingers curled around my skin, firm and warm. My pulse spiked, and I hated that a tiny flicker of something else surged along with it.
“You walk down this road, Lucy, there’s no coming back.”
I met his eyes. Sunlight caught the scar near his jaw, the one Caleb gave him in a drunken fight years ago. I wanted to trace it and wanted to push him away at the same time.
“I’m not coming back,” I said. “I’m going through.”
He let go slowly, but the air between us stayed charged, bitter and unresolved, a current that made my skin tingle.
“I’m still angry,” I muttered. “You lied to me. You had this, and you let me twist in the dark.”
“And I’m still pissed you embarrassed me in my own house.”
“Then I guess we’re even.”
Jay gave a humourless snort. “Not even close.”
“But we’re on the same page.”
He nodded once. “For now.”
The motel room felt even smaller with Jay in it, his kutte dark against the peeling wallpaper. I set the box on the bed, fingers brushing the latch.
“You sure you want to open it now?” he asked. His voice wasn’t soft, Jay didn’t do soft, but something in it carried weight. A warning.
“It’s mine,” I said, not looking at him. “Caleb wanted me to have it.”
“That doesn’t mean you’re ready for what’s inside.”
I flipped the latch, the metal clicking like a gun cocking. My heart pounded, but I forced my hands steady as I pulled the lid open. At the top lay a folded envelope with my name scrawled across it.
I reached for it, but Jay was suddenly closer, his shadow falling over me. He plucked the envelope from the box before I could touch it.
“Hey!” I surged up, closing the gap between us until my chest brushed his. “Give it back.”
He didn’t. He held it between two fingers, just out of reach, his ice-blue stare boring into me. “Answers won’t save you. They’ll get you killed.”
I shoved at his chest, but he didn’t budge, he leaned in harder, pinning me against the wall with his sheer size. “Don’t you dare keep this from me,” I spat. “Caleb trusted me. He wanted me to see it.”
His jaw flexed, and for a second, I thought he’d tear the envelope in half. Instead, he shoved it against my chest hard enough that I stumbled. “Fine. Have it. But when you realise what it costs, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
The air between us crackled. I couldn’t stop myself from saying, “If you cared half as much as you pretend to, maybe Caleb wouldn’t be dead.”
That landed. His eyes darkened, and for once, he didn’t have a quick comeback.
He turned on his heel and stormed out, the door slamming so hard, the mirror rattled on its hook.
I stood there shaking, the envelope still burning against my chest. Then I slid down onto the edge of the bed, tore it open with trembling hands, and finally let Caleb’s voice spill into the silence.
Caleb’s handwriting was messy and rushed.
If you’re reading this, I’m probably dead.
Trust no one but Jay. The DK are compromised.
It wasn’t just the Fangs. There’s someone inside.
I was close. I was so close.
Love you, Luce.
– C
I stared at it for a long time. My ears rang, hands shook, and my eyes burned with tears.
Then I plugged the flash drive into my laptop.
It took a few minutes to open. Files. Documents.
Names. Something I thought may have been export logs.
Surveillance photos—one of them showing Gage in the backroom of possibly a Fang bar, exchanging cash with a man I didn’t recognize.
The timestamp was two weeks before Caleb died.
I clicked through quickly, breath catching in my throat, causing me to cough.
There was more. Arms deals. Payoffs written in Caleb’s handwriting with the amounts below. A map with what I assumed were shipment routes drawn in black marker. I would have to take it to Jay to know for sure what all of it meant.
And there was a name, circled twice in red ink.
Gage.
I sat back, feeling sick as my stomach turned.
Gage wasn’t only the club’s enforcer—he was in Caleb’s photos at the Fang meetups.
He was the rat.
I shut the laptop and stood, blood roaring in my ears. “Why don’t I understand any of it?” I asked myself out loud as I paced.
Then I froze when I noticed the front door was open a crack. I didn’t remember leaving it that way. Jay had slammed it closed when he left.
I reached slowly for the gun under my pillow. “Who’s there?” I called out, trying to add steel to my voice that I didn’t feel.
Footsteps thundered outside, confirming my suspicion that someone had followed us back.
I backed towards the window, putting as much distance between me and the door that I could, every nerve on fire.
Outside, a motorcycle revved then drove off, but I couldn’t see it from the window, and it was too fast to catch in my car. But it was not fast enough to silence the message they were trying to deliver.
I made sure the door was locked and closed the curtains. Dragging back the rug, I pried up a floorboard and shoved the box underneath, sealing it out of sight.
My hands wouldn’t stop shaking, and my chest was still heaving from the adrenaline. Someone knew I had Caleb’s files. Someone was watching.
And the worst part? The only person I could turn to, the only person I needed, was the one man I’d sworn I would never trust again.
I needed Jay.
I couldn’t wait until morning. I quickly took a shower and dried off then pulled on a dress. I was sick of them seeing me as Caleb's shadow in jeans and his hoodie. That night, they would see me for me.