Chapter 59 Reaper
Reaper
Afterwards, I grabbed a washcloth from the bathroom and cleaned her up slow, careful. She lay back against the pillows, watching me, lips curved in the faintest smirk.
“Didn’t you just say I was supposed to walk out there dripping with you?” she teased, voice low, eyes daring me.
I stilled for half a beat then dragged the cloth over her thigh one last time before tossing it aside.
My gaze locked on hers, sharp and unflinching.
“Yeah, I did, and I meant it.” I leaned down, mouth grazing her jaw.
“But right now, you’re not for them. You’re for me.
I’m the only one who gets to see you like this.
The only one who gets to take care of you after I’ve fucked you raw. ”
Her smirk softened, eyes searching mine like she was trying to see past the filth and fury to the man beneath. My chest clenched, the part of me that still ached with the thought of losing her bleeding through.
“Lucy... I started, staring at the floor between my boots before forcing myself to look at her again. “You’re gonna leave, aren’t you?”
Her brow furrowed, and she sat up. “What?”
“You’ve got a life. A job. A home that isn’t here.” My jaw worked as I swallowed hard. “This club, this place... it was never supposed to be yours. Caleb brought you here, and you stayed for answers. Now that you’ve got them—”
“Jay—”
“I’m not saying you owe me anything,” I interrupted, hands rising like I was surrendering something I didn’t want to give. “I just... look, I know you. You’re smart, driven, too damn good to be living out of a clubhouse that smells like leather and cheap beer.”
She laughed softly at that, but there was something in her eyes I couldn’t read. It gutted me.
“I wouldn’t stop you,” I said, quieter, voice thick with pain. “If you wanted to go back, I’d hate it, but I wouldn’t stop you.”
Her voice was barely a whisper. “Why would you hate it?”
I exhaled slow, dragging a hand down my face.
“Because you’ve become part of this place.
You brought something back I didn’t even realise I’d lost. And because.
..” I hesitated, heart pounding hard enough it hurt.
But there wasn’t any point in hiding it anymore.
“Because I’m in love with you, and the thought of waking up without you, without your laugh, without your damn coffee cup next to mine, makes everything we fought for feel like it wasn’t enough. ”
For a moment, she stared at me, silent. I felt like I’d handed her a loaded gun and asked her to pull the trigger.
Then she leaned in, fingers brushing through my hair, her lips brushing mine with a whisper. “I guess it’s a good thing I haven’t made up my mind yet, because I’m not ready to walk away from you either.”
My throat worked, but I couldn’t get words out.
“And don’t you dare,” she added, “make this sound like I don’t have a choice in it. If I stay, it’s because I want to. Because I choose you.”
My chest burned with something I hadn’t felt in years. Hope. Real, raw, dangerous hope.
“Still not changing your church status, though,” I muttered, trying to mask it with a crooked grin.
She smirked back. “Please. I already know everything that matters.”
Yeah, she did, and damn if I didn’t pray she’d keep choosing me.
“I gotta get back out there, start planning. Come down when you’re ready?” I asked, holding her a little tighter, like my grip alone could keep her from slipping away.
“I’ll be out in a bit.” She pressed a soft kiss to my lips, and I could see her mind working, calculating, deciding, weighing everything she’d admitted.
I let her go, but every part of me ached with the hope that when she decided, it’d be me she stayed for.