13. Colony Miles
One month later . . .
“I love when we have our girls’ day, Colony. It makes me so happy,” Kehlani expressed.
We were sitting in her room, going through all the things we’d gotten on our shopping date.
Keondra sent us out with his card, and we had a time.
He told us to get anything we wanted. Kehlani didn’t spare a dime.
She went through the mall, picking something out from almost every store we went into.
We had to make two trips in between shopping to take the bags to my car before we ate and went to get mani and pedis.
It was our second girls’ day out, and I deemed it one of my favorite days ever.
“Awww, me too, Kehlani. I’m glad we got to spend the day together.”
“You feel like a mommy to me. I love you.”
My body stilled. There was a knot lodged in my throat that I couldn’t swallow down with a gallon of water.
Kehlani’s words knocked me off my feet. They reached the depths of my soul, giving special love to the parts of me that mourned not being able to bear children.
All the children at the center were my babies, but as I’d always said, Kehlani was special to me.
It felt damn good to know I was just as special to her.
“And I love you, Kehlani. So much. I’m glad that I feel like that to you, and I hope that never changes.”
“It won’t,” she stated confidently. “Me, you, and Daddy are going to be a big happy family. And Demetria too. I know she’s my mommy, but she doesn’t feel like it. I do like her. She’s really nice, and I have fun with her too.”
So far, Demetria had been keeping her word and was proactive in Kehlani’s life.
It took Keondra up until last week to allow Demetria to take Kehlani alone, and even then, I had to calm his nerves and make sure he didn’t text her every hour.
I understood why he was cautious, and gratefully, so did Demetria.
She eased his mind by sending pictures of Kehlani.
Each time he saw that captivating smile, it helped him breathe a little easier.
Clearing my throat, I moved closer to Kehlani and said, “I know we haven’t talked about it, but how are you feeling about getting to know your mommy?”
“Uh, I like it. I’ve always wanted a mommy, so it makes me happy, but I still don’t know why.”
“Why what?”
“Why it took her so long to come to me. I know Daddy said she’s a doctor, and she let me see her doctor things one day. It was cool.”
“One day, you will understand. Like your father said, doctors go away to get their schoolwork done sometimes. When you’re older, I’m sure your mommy will talk to you about it.”
“You think so?”
I nodded. “I do.”
“How do you feel about my . . . Demetria?”
My tongue trailed along the inside of my jaw but quickly forced a smile. “I’m happy that she is in your life now. I’m happy that you’re getting to spend time with her and get to know her. I can tell she really loves you.”
“So, it doesn’t make you sad?”
I scowled. “Why would it make me sad, Kehlani?”
“I don’t know.” She hunched her shoulders and moved some of her loose strands from her face. “I don’t want it to.”
“You don’t need to worry about my feelings. That’s what I’m supposed to do with you. Anything that makes you and your father happy makes me happy. If your mommy brings you happiness, that’s all that matters.”
“Is it okay if the both of you do?”
“Of course.”
Kehlani wrapped her little arms around my neck, and I could feel her little body relax.
To know she thought of me during such a difficult time in her life almost had me in tears.
For her to be so young, she was extremely aware and had a big heart.
Those were qualities she’d definitely inherited from her father.
Seconds later, Keondra made his presence known.
He eased around the corner and leaned against the doorframe with his hands behind his back.
I wondered how long he’d been outside of the room, but the thought left as fast as it came when he produced flowers for me and Kehlani.
She squealed, ran over to him, and snatched the purple bouquet from him.
“Dang. I can’t get a hug or anything first?” He feigned hurt, and Kehlani puckered her little lips up. Keondra leaned over and gave her his cheek. “That’s better.”
“Thank you, Daddy. They are so pretty. Can we go put them in water now?”
“Colony has to come get her flowers and give me a kiss too.” Keondra smirked.
Kehlani waved her hand. “Come on so we can go put them in water before they die.”
Kids could be so dramatic. Getting up, I straightened my ankle length dress out and walked over to my man. Playfully, he put the flowers behind his back and tapped his lips.
“You can’t come over here snatching stuff like KeKe,” he joked.
I stood on my tiptoes and pecked his lips ever so lightly.
We never did too much in front of Kehlani, but we did show one another affection.
He handed me my flowers and grabbed my hand, so I grabbed Kehlani’s, who giggled the entire walk to the kitchen.
While Keondra got the vases down, I showed Kehlani how to cut the stems.
“Daddy never does that,” she stated.
“Because I didn’t know that was what I was supposed to do,” Keondra defended, chuckling.
“That’s why we have Colony. She teaches me things here and at day care. Daddy, did you know I love her?”
“Oh, really?”
She bobbed her head. “I do, and she loves me too. Right, Colony?”
“That’s right, Kehlani,” I confirmed, pinching her cheek.
Every day, I prayed nothing ever took me from her. Even if Keondra and I didn’t work out, I wanted to be in Kehlani’s life if he allowed me to. The attachment and love were real.
Somehow, even after everything we’d done, Kehlani sweet talked her daddy into taking her to the park and to get ice cream. I was tired, but I happily tagged along. There was no place I’d rather be than with them.
“Babe?”
“Hmm?” I hummed as I put my bonnet on.
Lately, I’d been staying at Keondra’s house more. He’d come stay the night with me whenever Kehlani was with her grandparents, but mostly, I was there with them. His house had easily become my second home. When he gave me a key and the spare garage opener, I felt official.
“Two things.”
I turned on the bed to face him. “I’m listening.”
“One. How do you feel about getting both our families together for a cookout? I think it’d be good for them to meet and for all of us to just have a good time together.”
“Oh, I’d love that. I think our families would vibe very well.”
“I do too. We can set something up and reach out to them to see when will be best for everyone.”
“I’m good with that. You know Kehlani is going to eat this up because all the attention will be on her.”
“Don’t remind me,” Keondra joked. He finished putting his bonnet on as well and turned to me. “I heard you and Kehlani’s conversation earlier.”
“I figured you did. You came around the corner too easily. What do you think about it?”
Keondra came around and sat on the bed next to me.
He pushed his glasses up before resting his hand on my thigh.
“It makes me feel good. I love that she loves you and thought it was sweet she cared about your feelings. Thank you for how you broke everything down for her. She needed that reassurance. I can see she’s liking the time she gets with Demetria, but I feel she’ll be able to fully lean into it since she talked to you. ”
“I honestly can’t believe she had me in the back of her mind like that.”
“That’s because she truly does love you, and so do I.”
My hand went to Keondra’s cheek. “I love you too. Both of you. Y’all make me feel complete. Y’all fulfill a desire in me that I wasn’t sure would ever be capable. Kehlani might not be my daughter, but I sure as hell love her like one.”
“And that’s all I’ve ever prayed for in a woman. You exude that in more than one way, babe.”
“How are you feeling about Demetria now?”
“Truthfully, I feel like everything is headed in the right direction. I’m still a bit hesitant about what will happen in the future, but all I can do is focus on the now and pray for the best.” Keondra’s hand met mine, and he kissed my palm.
“I would hate for Demetria to hurt Kehlani, but one thing that gives me peace is knowing that regardless, she’ll have you. ”
“You better believe it. I was thinking earlier that if, somehow, we decided to go our separate ways, I would hope you’d still allow me to be in her life. While I can’t imagine it without either one of you, I really can’t with her.”
“Well, that’s something you don’t have to worry about.
In my heart, I know what we have is forever, Colony.
I don’t question a thing when it comes to you.
It used to scare me, but now, I embrace it.
I love what we’ve created, and I can’t wait to watch it grow.
I’m crazy over you. I’d hate for my crazy to show. ”
I squealed when Keondra jumped on top of me and peppered kisses all over my face.
Those light pecks quickly turned into our lips locking and our tongues sword fighting.
It didn’t take long for Keondra to start French kissing my lower lips, sending me to an oblivion that was sure to put me right to sleep.
Oh, did I love that man.