25. ‘Rebel’
TWENTY-FIVE
‘REBEL’
MYA
I’ve been up most of the night and now I’m just waiting to hear someone else is up, so I can get up and get some much-needed coffee. I know I’m going to forgive Atlas. It hit me last night, everything that has been going on, it all involves him so I just think he’s on overload. Stress and anxiety can fuck a person up, I know that. Today is going to suck, trying to function with a hangover, but got to remember stupid actions always come back to haunt you. My feelings for him are real and we just need to be a bit more open with each other and need to talk stuff out.
I’m in the bathroom when I hear the initial pounding. Then the yelling and screaming. Finally my name is being said loudly. Oh shit, I don’t need Atlas to wake up either of the kids which, apparently, I’m too late for when lil’ Mickie starts to cry. I grab a Devil’s Handmaidens sweatshirt to put over my tank and shorts, open the door, and run toward the front of the house. What I see when I turn the corner is Enforcer and Teddy barring Atlas from coming down the hallway toward the spare room, Konstantin, Thanos, Stefanos, and both of Atlas’s parents are behind him. My eyes are only on him because he looks like death has taken a permanent residency with him. When he sees me, he immediately stops yelling, which, as Taz walks by me, under her breath she says, “Thank Christ.” The only person who looks unfazed is Mickie, who is in her mother’s arm, babbling, hand in her mouth, drooling down her face. That’s when I hear my bestie tell her ol’ man to quit being a moron and let the folks do what they want. The boys run right to me, all hugging on me like they’ve not seen me in a year. Athena is behind them while it looks like Apollo is holding up his son. Enforcer stays close to Atlas as my protector, Teddy, pushes his way so he’s standing kind of in front of me, arms crossed just like his daddy. If this wasn’t such a clusterfuck, I’d think he’s beyond cute. When Atlas, along with his dad, makes his way to me quietly, he asks to talk to me. As I’m thinking about it, to my utter shock Enforcer tells me to use their office, and that he’ll start breakfast. Every boy’s head jerks up except Teddy, who when seeing that, laughs.
“What, doesn’t your dad cook breakfast? If Dad doesn’t have club duties, he’s the one who cooks because he’s really good at it.”
Thanos and Stefanos look at each other then Enforcer. The man in question stops and stares at them. Then he smiles.
“Boys, something to remember. As you grow up, it’s no one’s responsibility but yours to do things for yourself. Taz and I got together when we were grown, so I had to learn how to cook, clean, and wash my clothes. You know, all the shit that needs to be done. Now, when my ol’ lady and I built this house, we talked about it and knew we had to share the workload as we both have jobs and responsibilities. Teddy over there does chores that he gets a weekly allowance for. Don’t ya have chores at home?”
The boys shake their heads, which has Enforcer looking at Atlas with a frown.
“My man, you are doing a disservice to your kids but looks like you got bigger issues you need to fix. Now come on, kids, you can all help me make breakfast. Mr. and Mrs. Giannopoulos, please take a seat. We’ll get ya both some coffee; how do you take it?”
I turn and make my way to the office with Atlas behind me. Once in and he’s closed the door, we look at each other. I know I’m stubborn, but this is his shitshow not mine, so I wait. Finally I move and take a seat on the leather love seat; he follows and sits on the table right in front of me. When he hesitantly reaches for my hands, I remember my first thought when I woke up. I love this man and every relationship has bumps in the road. I let him hold my hands as he struggles to explain.
“Sweetheart, fuck, I don’t know what to say except I’m sorry. Something snapped in my head and the more I tried to ignore it, the worse it got. After the shit with my folks and the kids we found, then finding out Mindy was dead, I don’t even know how to explain it. My mind started playing tricks on me. I’d have nightmares that instead of Mindy dead it was you in that wooded pasture. I couldn’t risk something happening to you, so I started to push not only you but the boys, Mom, and Dad away. Not to mention all the new people in my life. Oh, guess who showed up at my house last night? Of all the people in your life, I opened the door, half blasted off my ass to see a very pissed-off Avalanche. And get in my face, he did. I will tell you, never want to piss that man off ever again.”
I’m grinning when Atlas’s eyes get all squinty.
“Did you send him to put the fear of God in me, Rebel? Because that’s what he did, well, until Panther and Shadow showed up, and that’s when I truly thought I was going to die. Not Panther, he’s the quiet one. Nope, it was your sister who walked right up to me, looked up into my face, and very softly told me to fix what I fucked up, or she’ll make sure I don’t upset you ever again. Then she walked away, calling for Big Bird to follow them. I had all night to try and figure out what happened, and it hit me around four this morning. I was so afraid of losing you, either like Mindy, or during one of your club missions breaking up a circuit, unconsciously I figured it was better to push you out of my life, and the boys. Well, they also reamed my ass yesterday, along with my parents. I’m here begging you to forgive my stupidity. Generally I’m not a dumb man. I already called the therapist to apologize and set up another appointment for the family session. Please tell me you’ll come with the boys and me? I didn’t mean to hurt you, sweetheart. Mindy’s death brought a lot of feelings and emotions to the surface, right after my parents’ situation, that if I’m honest I wasn’t dealing with too well. Tell me, Rebel, do I have a chance or did I blow it?”
Knowing he’s punishing himself more than I could ever do, I lean forward and grab his head and drop my lips to his. Right before mine touch his, I whisper while staring into those beautiful sapphire eyes, “I love you Atlas Giannopoulos.” Not sure how long we are making out when a knock on the door startles us.
“Is it safe to come in or do you both need a minute to put your clothes back on?”
I can hear the laughter in my bestie’s voice. Thank God she always is there for me.
“Come on in, Taz. We’re decent.”
She walks in with a smirk on her face, taking us in. Then her face gets serious when she looks Atlas’s way.
“So, Doc, did you get your head out of your own ass? Because there is a group of people just waiting to see if they’re going to have to beat your behind or maybe call for an intervention. Now breakfast is ready, so come on, let’s eat. Oh, Rebel, did you hear from Tink yesterday?”
Just like Taz, she’s all over the board. I take a second to think but when I checked my phone, I didn’t listen to any of the voice messages, so I shake my head no.
“Oh, sister, wait ’til you hear. Nope, not my story to tell. So seriously, are you two good?”
I glance at Atlas, who’s looking down at me. I smile at him, grabbing his hand then look at my bestie, sharing the same smile with her.
“I recall a woman a few years back who shared with me that relationships are work, and if you put your best effort into it, the rewards are so worth it. Well, Raquel, you were right. Not only is Atlas worth it, but so are his three boys. Now feed me, sister, I didn’t eat last night, was more worried about getting drunk with your crazy ass.”
When the three of us walk out and everyone sees us holding hands, they all start to clap. Leave it to the children to know what’s best for the adults in their lives.
It’s been a long as fuck day. I skipped work, well, with Glory’s blessing. After breakfast the kids played for a bit with Teddy’s two dogs, while Enforcer showed Atlas and Apollo his new car project. A 1967 GTO. I don’t know who was drooling more, father or son. We finally left, me following Atlas to his house. Konstantin drove my car and he did a great job. It took a bit for us to straighten up the mess Atlas left and the boys gave him smack throughout the cleaning process. We decided to make today a movie lounge day, so I go upstairs to find some comfortable clothes and when I come back, all four of the Giannopoulos guys are waiting on me. The boys are sitting on the sectional, while Atlas is on the ottoman. He pulls me on his lap then looks to the boys who nod vigorously.
“Rebel, we’ve come to a decision and need your thoughts. Stefanos brought it up, while Thanos and I agree wholeheartedly. Kon said it’s totally up to you, but he’s on board. Mya, will you do us the honor of moving in with us? No, not asking you to marry me yet, though just a heads-up, I will one day. Today though, as a family, we all realized that without you this house is definitely not a home. It’s a place to eat and sleep. Each of the boys has fallen in love with you, as I have. Why keep your place at the ranch when you’re here most of the time? And this way you’ll be closer to the clubhouse and your office. What do you say?”
My mind is doing a fast spin through my life and there is nowhere else I’d rather be. So with a huge smile, I tell them a most definite yes. As we celebrate, I’ve never felt so happy and secure. That’s what they give me and I hope I return that back to them. After a long day of junk food and movies, I excuse myself to go to the office and check my messages. There were quite a few so when I get to Tink’s, I’m thinking she’s going to tell me something about the club or one of our sisters. She surprises me twice. Once when she tells me she and Noodles are going to foster Mercy and Faith with the intention of eventually adopting both girls. I’m beyond thrilled for the two of them as they’ve wanted to start a family for a long time. I’m already trying to think of some things to buy the girls who have lost so much. What my prez says next stops me dead-on. Tink tells me that she and Noodles have been trying IVF and after four tries, it finally took and they are expecting a baby. She goes into detail saying she’s high-risk and will be watched closely by her OB/GYN. She tells me they are slowly letting the “family” know. I finally can accept that all those years ago, when I came up to Montana, what I was looking for was right here in Timber-Ghost. I’m so glad I took that opportunity and gave the Devil’s Handmaidens a chance.
As I’m reminiscing, something Tink said has my head throb. Son of a bitch, he knew and didn’t tell me. I stomp back to the family room, hands on my hips, glaring at Atlas. That’s when the boys all get up and go to their rooms and my man stands and walks toward me.
“What has you ready to kill me this time, sweetheart?”
“Forget to share something with me, Atlas?”
I watch him try to think about what it could be and I can’t wait, I put him out of his misery.
“Tink and Noodles’s news?”
“Rebel, come on, you know I can’t talk about my patients. Don’t go there because, sweetheart, there are some boundaries I can’t cross, even for you. Now are we fighting or celebrating their phenomenal news?”
Laughing, I jump into his arms, knowing that life in the club is definitely changing, that’s for sure. And when the boys walk in a little bit later, we tell them the news and they are super excited. Then we do what I guess “normal” families do to relax, eat dinner and then go to bed. And I wouldn’t change it for the world because I’m sure in the near future we will be dealing with degenerates who want to destroy what a family means. We won’t let them , I think as I cuddle with my ol’ man in, I guess, what is now “our” home.
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HEARTbrEAKER
Chapter One
There are times in my life I truly believe my purpose in life is to always struggle or face diversity, no matter how hard I try to stay on the right path. Rebel had a talk with me today because she saw me in town without my kutte, which is a violation of one of the rules. She was cool about it and, yeah, I forgot because I was running late to my “meeting” that night. Since the whole episode with Rebel and Atlas when I passed out during Kon’s shit, that old familiar craving is back. I woke in the hospital with the angel and devil on their respective shoulders. On the good side, I was beyond thrilled that one of my club sisters told them about my addiction though, on the bad side, that devil was dancing on a pole waiting for some of the “good stuff.”
Since then it feels like bugs are crawling all over my skin. I’m scratching myself raw. Even with everything I know, it’s getting worse instead of better. One of the only things keeping me from taking that dark road is if I fall off the wagon one more time, I’ll lose my place in the Devil’s Handmaidens club. They’ll take my kutte and blacken my club ink. Then they’ll send me on my way. I have no place or no one to go to without them. Not only will I lose the club and my sisters, but that will also include Momma Diane and Tank, and all of the guys who work with Panther and Avalanche. Also all those people at the Blue Sky Sanctuary. So it would mean my whole “family” would be lost to me. Then I’ll lose my job at the Wooden Spirits Bar and Grill, which I’ve come to love. And finally, I’ll lose the work I do with all the survivors who we bring to the ranch after we break up the circuits and those who remain with us. My part in their recovery is very important not only to them, but also to me. I can’t let them down as they are fighting their own demons. Too many people depend on me to stay on the right road. Tonight though, it seems so hard for some reason. I can almost feel the needle entering a vein and that immediate rush of pleasure before everything goes numb, especially my brain. It shuts off everything from the memories to the voices who hardly ever shut up. That’s the only time it’s quiet. Well, except after a meeting, but I checked and there isn’t one tonight. My sponsor—well, my old one—moved away and it’s been well over a month that I’ve not had one. Stupid mistake on my part. Thank God I still go to the therapist at the sanctuary or when she’s at the ranch. Without her, I’d either be on the streets selling my ass again for a fix, or dead.
So instead of staying at the ranch I’m in my cage, heading to the Wooden Spirits to get my other fix, which is Cook’s desserts. If I can’t get high I’ll eat my cravings away. I’m being stupid, I know, because all I’d have to do is pick up my phone and call one of my club sisters. Every single one of them would drop whatever they are doing and come to me in an instant. I’m sick of being that “sister” though. Since all that shit went down with Tink and Hannah, I swore to my prez “never again,” and I’ve kept that promise. Well, had a few slips in the beginning but now I’ve been clean for almost a couple of years and counting. And no, it doesn’t get easier with time, don’t care what anyone says.
I pull around to the back to park and get out of my cage. The parking lot doesn’t seem too full so maybe I’ll get lucky. Once inside, I slam the door closed and lock it. Turning, I’m surprise that I don’t hear much noise. Usually, you can kind of hear the music from the bar side but, nope, can’t make out anything. Not sure why but I reach for my gun in the holster under my kutte. As Shadow jokes, we should never leave home without our weapons.
I just about make it to the kitchen when I hear a familiar voice shouting for everyone to just stay sitting and get their wallets out and put them on the tables. Slowly I pass the opening to the kitchen to see Cook trying to get off the floor, blood pouring from somewhere under her hand on the back of her head. When she sees me, she shakes her head. I mouth call, “911.” She nods and I pray the alarm is setting off alerts and Raven is catching it. When I see motion, it’s Cook on her feet, grabbing her cast-iron skillet. No use telling her no, that woman ain’t gonna listen to me. So I take it slow, leaning against the wall. Looking up I see the mirror Peanut wanted up so when the waitresses were walking, they can look up to see the front of the building. Thank God ’cause right now I see one—no—two guys, guns in their hands, swinging them back and forth. Not too many people in the grill side, and that’s when I see a third guy ordering those in front of him to move their asses. Shit, those folks must be from the bar side. I turn to Cook, holding up three fingers. She pulls her phone out and I guess starts to text one of the Devil’s Handmaidens. I take a second, trying to assess, but the guy from the bar is being a total asshole. When he swings that gun of his and hits an elderly man at one of the tables because he's too slow getting his wallet, I can’t wait.
Even though it’s stupid with just me and Cook, before I move I switch my Glock 18 to full-automatic mode. I rush out through the small hallway and take a stance at the end, at the corner of the doorway. Leaning forward, I see the three assholes have herded all the people into the far corner. Every table has at least one wallet on it, along with jewelry. As I squint to make the three guys out, it hits me square in the chest. Son of a fuckin’ bitch. Of course, should have known. Two of the assholes are dealers who also use their own stuff. I’ve bought from them in my past life. Last I heard, they were in prison, not sure how or why they are out. The third guy, don’t have a clue, but it’s obvious he’s the one in charge. Cook taps on my shoulder so I turn to her. She holds her phone up and I see a text from Tink, telling us to observe but wait for backup. Help is on the way. I’m good with holding as long as no one goes off the deep end.
“Motherfucker, told you all jewelry on the tables. Think your special, you old whore? Give me the ring now, or I’ll blow his brains all over your pretty blouse?”
Leaning again, it’s the third guy and I see it now. He’s tweaking bad because the gun he’s got pinned on the man is shaking all over the place. Shit, shit, shit. Give him the ring, lady , I think to myself but of course not.
“Please, it’s not worth much money but to me it’s priceless. Vincent gave this to me on our fiftieth wedding anniversary. It’s an infinity ring with the four small diamonds, one for each of our children. I can’t let it go.”
When he lifts his gun a little and then pulls the trigger by the man’s face, I can almost guarantee the gunman popped the poor old man’s eardrum because blood is starting to run down his neck. Oh God, I can’t wait much longer. Just as I go to walk out, someone taps me again on the shoulder. When I turn, it’s not Cook or one of my club sisters. He has eyes that look like a burst of color staring at me. Looking down, he has a bulletproof vest on and a badge clipped to the top of his jeans. He puts his finger to his mouth then motions for me to move behind him. I look and, yeah, there is Cook behind the second dude, also with a vest and a badge. Not sure who the hell they are, but okay, the cavalry has arrived.
Just as I go to move behind this mystery man, we hear the crazy dude scream again to give him the ring. The woman, who I recognize as Mrs. Thronston, starts to cry, begging him to please let her keep it. When I look, I see the crazy in his eyes, maybe from the drugs, or maybe he’s just crazy. Without thinking, I move forward and with my gun out in front of me scream, “Asshole.” When he turns, I throw myself to the ground and that’s when all hell breaks loose. I hear a gun fire once and then the screaming of Mrs. Thronston. Heavy footsteps move past me as I go to maneuver my way up to standing. Just as I get my footing, someone grabs me from behind, putting an arm round my neck and something sharp hits my skin.
“Motherfuckers, drop those guns now. Don’t pull any funny shit or little Delilah here will pay.”
My skin crawls when I hear him say my name. Son of a bitch, I knew it was Donny. Yeah, talk about your past coming full circle. Here I was craving a fix and, apparently, my devil won ’cause my ex-dealer is right here and, just guessing, holding a syringe filled with who knows what. I lift my head and my eyes lock on those eyes that look like they are filled with fire. He’s a big guy, almost as tall and wide as Avalanche. Hair is on the longer side and I see some ink. Great, I’m in a serious situation and I’m checking out a man. No one ever said I was the smartest sister in the club, that’s for sure. Something behind the guy catches my attention and that’s when I see Kon sitting at a table with a couple of his guy friends. Oh shit, no, that kid has been through enough. Our eyes meet and I barely shake my head but I know he sees it because he blinks then nods. Donny is very impatient though and starts to scream again.
“I told, you assholes, to put the weapons down. I’m not afraid to die if that’s what you’re holding out for. Got nothin’ to live for so gonna take out as many as I can.”
The other two guys look at Donny shocked. Oh well, guess he didn’t fill them in on his suicide by cop idea. Both of them move back at the same time and drop to the ground, pushing their guns away. I watch the other cop nope when he turns around I see DEA on his vest as he slowly put his gun down, but not my mystery man. He stands tall, just watching. Donny is flustered I can tell, but is also a major bastard.
“What’s the matter, dude? Don’t tell me you haven’t had a taste of our girl Delilah here? I mean, if you have the money, she has no problem spreading these tender thighs of hers. What’s you’re going rate, D? I mean back when I knew you it was a quick fuck for a fix, but now you’re one of those badass biker chicks so I’m sure you’re gettin’ a pretty dollar. Once a whore, always a whore though right?”
He moves the syringe down, away from my neck, but now the needle is pressing into my upper arm. I don’t even think he realizes he moved it, he’s tweaking so badly. Then I see Kon looking at the guy on the floor but I know he’s thinking about reaching for the gun. No, Kon, don’t please don’t thinking to myself. I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to that kid. I truly care about him and his brothers. When he slowly goes to get off his chair, I do the only thing I can think of, which of course is so wrong.
“Kon, no, stay down. Don’t do it, kiddo. NO.”
It all happens so quickly, Kon goes down on his knees, reaching for the gun, grabbing it. Before he can get up, I see Dottie coming through the bar area and, in a second, she glances around, sees Kon, and runs his way. Mystery Man doesn’t move but his partner does, which freaks Donny out. Instead of pulling his arm back, the dickwad pushes the needle into my arm. I’m screaming, “No-no-no-no-no!” when he starts laughing like the devil himself and pushes the plunger on the syringe down. It like a flood of going down my arm and I can feel whatever he injected making its way through my body. My legs give out and that’s when I hear shouting and yelling, though I don’t hit the ground. I land on something hard but soft and that makes no sense. One voice stands out, it’s Shadow and it’s getting closer.
“Motherfucker, let her go. Someone call 911 she’s a recovering addict. Heartbreaker, stay with me. Come on, don’t close those eyes. Sister, goddamn it, don’t you hear me? Don’t you dare die on me. Son of a bitch, I think we’re losing her. Where the hell are the paramedics? Yoggie, thank God, not sure what he shot her up with. You got Narcan? Well, motherfucker, come on, give it to her…”
Then I hear a deep raspy voice demand, “Fight, Crimson, fight.” Then whatever drug Donny injected into me takes over and I go on a wild ride into the darkness, not knowing my mystery man never lets me go.