Chapter 14 #2
Hazel shakes her head. “Penn worries for all the people he cares about. He sees you as a part of our group now, so I think he was just checking on you…the same way he’d do for Ally if it were her wedding day.”
“Which it will be, next,” Ally says with a dreamy look in her eyes.
Hazel waggles her brows at her friend. “We’ll see about that.”
We walk out of the bathroom together, and as I listen to the girls banter back and forth about who’s going to catch my hideous bouquet, I find my nerves giving way to a new emotion; one I’ve kept tamped firmly down until this moment.
One I haven’t let myself truly feel in a long time.
We reach the door to the ceremony room, and Ally looks at me. “This is it.”
I force a tight smile. “You guys go on in, I’ll see you in there in a moment.”
Both the girls hug me, squeezing tight before they duck inside, leaving me alone in the drafty hallway.
Well, almost alone.
A woman in a janitorial uniform steps out of a nearby office, mop and bucket in hand. Her face splits in a smile when she sees me. “Well, don’t you look lovely, dear. I had almost the exact same dress for my wedding almost fifty years ago.”
“Thank you,” I say, unsure whether her comment makes me want to laugh or cry.
I know this is all a means to an end, but I’m still about to get legally married, and none of my people are here to witness my ugly wedding.
Or joke about how insane this all is. I really like Ally, Hazel, Penn, and Noah, but ultimately they’re here for Fisher.
They’d be sitting in that room right now no matter who the bride in this wedding was, and Penn would have checked on that girl the same way he did me just now.
None of these people really know me, and it’s left me feeling oddly alone.
I steel myself against the thoughts, straightening my spine as I death grip my ugly flowers and remind myself that I’m not alone. That I’m doing this for the people who truly know and love me. Better to get married alone for the good of everyone I love than risk losing the community I have.
And that’s the thought I carry with me as I let out a shaky breath and push the creaky door in front of me open.
“Here goes nothing,” I mutter, bile rising in my throat as I look around the ceremony space.
The room isn’t large, just big enough to house a center aisle laid with a faded red carpet, a scattering of folding chairs—all empty, save for the four in the front row occupied by Fisher’s roommates—and a mini platform at the front.
On the platform, a bored-looking man wearing a golf shirt two sizes too small for him stands next to Fisher, who looks uncharacteristically agitated.
He’s fidgeting with his fingers, shuffling his weight from foot to foot.
When he hears me come in, he looks up, and his face pales.
For a moment, the silence in the room is deafening ringing in my ears as I stand frozen on the spot. Do I just…walk up there? I didn’t even think about music. Or the fact that I have to walk down a literal aisle without anyone by my side.
I swallow, forcing back tears that feel dangerously close, but then Fisher’s eyes meet mine. He holds my gaze for a long moment, then his whole body visibly relaxes as he hops off the stage and strides down the aisle towards me.
The officiant blinks after him as he adjusts his too-tight shirt, and the sick feeling in my stomach intensifies. Is he…leaving? Did seeing me give him cold feet?
“Hey,” Fisher says when he reaches me, still standing in the same spot at the end of the aisle.
The simple greeting seems too casual for someone who’s potentially about to ditch his own wedding.
His forest-green gaze rakes over me slowly, clinging to the lines of my body in my dress before sliding upwards so his gaze meets mine.
“You look amazing, Lila. I mean, the dress is…something. But you manage to make it look beautiful.”
“Uh…what are you doing, Fisher? Did you change your mind about marrying me?”
“Hell, no.” He looks beyond offended. “I’m all in.”
I’m not sure why him saying those words in such a confident, authoritative tone makes me feel so much better, but it does.
“If that’s the case, then I’m pretty sure you’re at the wrong end of the aisle right now.
” I nod across the room at Fisher’s roommates—who are all staring at us—and the waiting officiant.
The officiant clears his throat loudly when he sees me look in his direction, then makes a big show of checking his watch.
“Give us a second, would you?” Fisher snaps, giving the guy a dismissive wave before he turns the full force of his attention back to me.
“You looked really nervous when you walked in here, Lila. So before we start, I want to give you a last chance to change your mind.” His expression is earnest as he holds my gaze.
It’s so thoughtful of him. More than thoughtful, actually. And it’s enough to make my jangling nerves fade into background noise in my mind. “I’m all in, too.”
Fisher smiles, looking relieved, but he makes no move to go back to his position at the front. Instead, he extends an arm to me, one corner of his mouth slanting upwards.
I laugh, mystified. “What are you doing now?”
“Walking you down the aisle…if you want me to, that is.”
My chest tightens. How did he know?
“When I came in here and saw it was an aisle situation, I was worried it might be difficult for you,” Fisher explains when I don’t answer him.
He glances at me before he continues, “You know, to walk down the aisle alone, without your mom beside you. So I thought I’d try to make it easier for you—and I find everything easier when I have my friends by my side.
I guess what I’m saying is…I’ll be your friend. ”
I stare at him. It’s a level of consideration I’ve never seen in someone I’m dating for real, and I’m touched.
He mistakes my silence for hesitance. “If you don’t want that, I’ll just—”
“I’d like that,” I say softly, and we stare at each other for a long, loaded moment.
The officiant clears his throat again, louder this time.
“Oh, relax already. We’re coming.” Fisher rolls his eyes. Then, he turns to me. “Ready to get married, Lila?”
Instead of responding I loop my arm through his, and his solid bicep beneath my fingers makes more of my nerves fizzle away.
His face melts into a smile, his green eyes shining, and for a second, I forget myself.
Forget what this is. Until I realize I’m staring at him, and I snap out of my trance and smirk.
“Oh yes, it’s just what every little girl has always dreamed of for her wedding day. ”
Fisher smirks right back at me. “I aim to please.”
I don’t doubt it.
“Okay, we’re ready to begin!” Fisher calls.
The roommates all cheer.
“About damn time,” the officiant mutters. He hits a button on an ancient speaker system. The wedding music swells and Ally, Hazel, Penn, and Noah all stand as Fisher and I walk down the length of the aisle and onto the platform.
We might not really be in love, but we’re together in this. I’m not alone. And that means the world right now.
By the time the music fades, the officiant is grumpier than ever.
“Now that we can finally begin…” he says before rattling off all the legal stuff about marriage.
Fisher takes my hands in his. They’re warm and reassuring. The combination of his steady touch and how he took all the pressure off my bridal entrance helps me breathe through it all.
When it comes time to the vows, he squeezes my hands tight as he repeats the officiant’s words with polished confidence.
And then it’s my turn.
“I, Lila, take you, Fis—uh, I mean, uh Archibald, to be my lawfully wedded husband…” I stumble through the vows, slurring my words like I had seven beers at the game instead of one, but then Fisher begins to run his thumb back and forth along the edge of my hand.
I focus on the steady, reassuring movement as I exhale a shaky breath and then keep going, my voice finding confidence as I meet his glowing emerald eyes.
For a moment I even let myself imagine what it would be like to look into those gorgeous eyes and really promise these things.
To vow to let him have and hold me for real, all the days of our lives.
My stomach flutters again, this time less with nausea and more with…anticipation. Not for me, obviously, but for someone else being in this moment with him in the future. Fisher’s going to make a damn good husband to a lucky woman one day, that’s obviously what I’m thinking. Nothing more.
“I do,” Fisher says.
“I do,” I echo blindly.
“Under the authority vested in me by the state of California, I pronounce you husband and wife.” The officiant looks at Fisher like he almost wants to smile. Almost. “You may now kiss your bride.”
My stomach bottoms out as Fisher sweeps me in his arms and dramatically dips me. His roommates cheer as raucously as the crowd at the hockey game earlier. Penn puts his fingers in his mouth and whistles.
Fisher looks down at me and smiles. Not his usual boyish dimpled grin, but something else.
Something new, complicated and layered. Like the smile was tailor-made just for me and this moment.
Before I have time to unravel his expression, he leans forward and grazes his lips over mine.
It’s brief. Fleeting. A slice of a second of his mouth on mine.
Yet it sends an electrical current pulsing through me, lighting up every nerve ending in my body.
The first coherent thought I have is that I’m glad he’s holding me up right now because my legs feel too shaky to stand on.
The second is oh shit. Because we did it, we really did it. We’re married now, so I need to find the off switch for whatever the hell that was that I just felt.
And I need to find it fast.