Chapter 27 #2
Ally ignores this comment and studies Penn. “He made a better choice with the turquoise tie; it works for his winter tones.”
“Do you think they’re wearing those for the team jersey colors?” I ask.
Ally’s eyes widen. “Of course! That makes way more sense…although if that’s the case, Fisher didn’t get the memo.”
She’s right. Because instead of wearing golden yellow, the third color on the Lions’ jerseys. Fisher’s tie is a jewel-toned magenta, the color of ripe cherry blossoms in late bloom.
Damn, my man looks good in pink…but with a face card like that, he could have worn a trash bag and still looked like a perfect ten.
Ally’s sharp elbow pokes my ribs. “Uh, you’re drooling there, Lila.”
I let out a yelp and wipe my mouth with my hand. Hazel aims her shrewd gaze on me. “Uh oh. Is there something you need to get off your chest, by chance?”
“No.” It’s not convincing, even to my own ears, and I take another sip of wine to disguise my blush.
“Wait.” Ally jabs an accusing finger in my direction. “Did you guys kiss?”
“Worse,” I say before I can stop myself. But I need to talk to somebody, and these girls are the only people who know the truth about me and Fisher.
Hazel’s mouth falls open. “You hooked up?”
“No, I, uh…” My face is on fire as I admit the next part in a rush. “I accidentally saw him naked.”
Ally’s mouth twists in confusion. “Well, that’s not too terrible. I accidentally saw Noah naked about five minutes after I met him.”
“It is terrible, though,” I groan. “Because now it’s all I can think about.”
Fisher joked about me painting him naked the first night we met, and that was bad enough—but seeing the masterpiece in person has made my wayward thoughts about him a million times more vivid. And distracting.
“Ahh, I get it.” Hazel nods. “You want him.”
Ally grins wickedly. “You saw the package, and now you want a special delivery.”
I choke on my sip of wine. “No! I—ah, shit. I don’t know how I’m going to do this with him for the next year. The tension between us was already at the boiling point and now it’s about to bubble over.”
It feels good to finally get this confession off my chest. I’m at home with Ally and Hazel already, like we’re a perfectly mismatched trio of longtime friends.
Hazel tilts her head. “So what are you going to do about it?”
“Nothing? I mean, I’m not even sure he would want to—”
“Oh, he wants to, girl,” Ally says. “Believe me.”
Deep down, I know she’s right. The look of hungry desire on Fisher’s face when he saw me in my underwear that day is seared into my frontal cortex. And then there’s the way he says my name in his sleep. What’s he doing in those dreams? What am I doing?
“Plus he never shuts up about you these days,” Hazel adds, and I swivel my head to look at her.
“Really?” I blurt, then want to kick myself for being so overeager. Half a glass of wine and I have zero chill.
Ally nods. “I know Fisher, and I’ve never seen him like this about a girl. He’s low key obsessed with you.”
“Nah.” A stupid smile spreads across my face before I can stop it.
Hazel squints at me. “Is this about more than just physical chemistry? Do you have feelings for him?”
Goosebumps rush across my arms.
“I…” My eyes wander back to the TV. Fisher’s gone from the screen, and another player is talking to a reporter.
I wish I could still see him and bask in his smile a little longer…
okay, I really need to slow down on the wine.
Instead of taking another sip, I run my fingers down the stem of my wineglass.
Truth is, I like everything about my husband.
I like the way he looks, the way he smells, the way his body feels against mine when he reaches for me in his sleep.
But those things barely scratch the surface of the wonderful things about Fisher.
He’s thoughtful and intuitive and can make me laugh until my stomach aches.
I’m comfortable when I’m with him, my mind at ease.
And we get each other. Despite being from totally different worlds, we just…
click. Fisher grew up with so little real love in his life, and I’m in awe that despite his upbringing, goodness and kindness flow out of him like a river.
But if I let myself get swept up in that river’s current, I’ll have no control over where it’ll take me. Where I end up. And what if I lose someone else I care about and end up alone again?
“We’re friends,” I say. “Friends who have chemistry. That’s all. We have to do this for the next whole year, and if feelings get involved, it will complicate things.”
“Fair enough,” Ally says, but then she smirks. “But if you and Fisher really are just friends who have chemistry, then why not enjoy all the benefits of being married to him for the next year, and explore that chemistry?”
It’s not the first time I’ve considered what could happen if Fisher and I gave in to the intense, electrical pull between us.
The idea of being with my husband like that is exhilarating.
Dangerous in all the best ways. But as much as I like the idea of Fisher and I exploring our chemistry as husband and wife, there’s a huge part of me that knows it would backfire.
That kissing him, touching him, would be so all-encompassing that it would ruin me.
Although right now, not touching him is starting to feel like it might be my demise.
I reach for the wine and refill our glasses to the brim. “Right now, let’s focus on watching our boys win their game, okay?”
Hazel arches a brow. “Our boys, huh?”
“Shh,” I laugh, swatting Hazel’s arm. “You know what I mean.”
I also know Fisher and I can’t keep going the way we are right now. The tension between us is growing so taut, it’s stretching to its limits. But is the solution to get lost in each other…or to keep our distance and play it safe?