Chapter 12 – Meggie
Sitting on one of the chairs in the hospital chapel, Meggie took in the solitude, unable to adequately express her thanks that Rebel hadn’t been killed.
The day began as usual, awakening in her husband’s arms, making love to him, showering, and seeing to her kids.
This morning’s breakfast had been loud and lively. The Triplets traded insults, CJ, Christopher, Bishop, and Diesel talked about motorcycles, and froze Kaia out. Rebel was anxious to get to the mall and told Meggie what she planned to buy.
It had all been so normal. Happy. As if peace planned to stick around. She was so certain that life was settling down again, she’d decided to stop her birth control. The Triplets were close in age. Rule and Rebel were twins. Meggie could handle raising Gunner, Jo, and a newborn.
Christopher wanted her pregnant again. And after the stunt he pulled a couple of weeks ago, he’d probably gotten his wish. She’d take a pregnancy test at the cabin and surprise him with the positive results, then have her tubes tied during the C-Section.
Or, if she wasn’t pregnant, tell him she planned to stop her pills, happy to concede because of her contentment.
Meggie snorted. She should’ve known better than to let down her guard. That the weight present for months would crash down and crush her.
But Rebel was spared, so it wasn’t a crushing blow. It hurt Meggie, but she’d recover.
She glanced around the interfaith chapel.
Father Wilkins pressed for a Catholic Chapel to be built in the hospital.
Christopher, still on shaky grounds with a higher being, refused, and so patients and their families had this, a quiet room in neutral tones.
Two stained glass windows were behind the altar.
A table with three candles in staggered height, stood behind a podium.
There were no denominational emblems, nothing that would make someone feel unwelcomed.
At times, Meggie found solace in church, despite Father Wilkins’ sermons. She’d listen to the message and not the messenger. She’d worked hard to give her children a well-rounded life that included religion.
Church wasn’t non-existent as she grew up, but it hadn’t been as prevalent in her life as it was in her children’s.
She no longer knew why she’d gone to Mass on a regular basis.
She didn’t know if it was a bargaining chip or bribery to keep her husband and son—sons now—safe.
A part of it was how she’d explained it to Kaia in LA.
She truly liked helping people and she genuinely preferred Christopher find a solution that didn’t involve murder.
Yet…
Yet—
Releasing a sob, she covered her face. She wanted Jana dead. Rebel had almost died because of Jana’s addiction.
And…
She wanted to kill Diesel for killing Tabitha, even though her son did exactly what should’ve been done. Exactly what Meggie would’ve ordered him to do.
Exactly what Christopher would’ve done.
When Narci texted her earlier and begged her for her intervention to save Diesel and the four men who’d been at the mall with Rebel and Jana, Meggie didn’t hesitate. For Axel. For Christopher. And for CJ. Especially for CJ.
As long as she wasn’t okay with the club, Christopher wouldn’t be. He’d resign prematurely and once again abandon their agreed upon plans for CJ. He wouldn’t even consider how much Meggie had sacrificed on behalf of Christopher’s love for his club and his desire to see CJ patch in.
For her husband’s and sons’ sakes, she could play her role at the club.
But she would’ve bided her time before she sought revenge on Tabitha and Jana once she learned the truth.
Timing was everything.
Jana, who instigated the entire situation, had the unmitigated, stinking audacity to ask Meggie to talk to Diesel so he’d be kinder to her in her time of need.
She’d talk to him and tell him to make her disappear.
Except how could she take another woman’s daughter when hers had been spared? Whether Hopper or Amy or both claimed Jana, wouldn’t it devastate them to lose her?
Swiping her cheeks, Meggie sniffled. Jana didn’t need her wrath. She needed help. If Meggie blamed Diesel for anything, it was hiding Jana’s addiction. That idiot should’ve known better.
“Meggie?”
Meggie stiffened, sniffled again. “Go away, Kaia,” she said hoarsely. Meggie didn’t yet know why Rebel wanted him there, but she’d find out in due time. “I don’t want to look at you.”
Instead of listening, Kaia took the seat next to her, his eyes red-rimmed and sad. “Please, hear me out. Please? I’m begging you.”
She glowered at him.
He hung his head, heaved in a breath, and got to his feet. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled, shoving his hands in his pockets. He started to walk away.
“Say what you have to say and then leave,” Meggie ordered, exhausted, the kind fostered by devastation that made her feel as if she’d never be happy again. She’d just exist, awaiting the next phone call. Rebel had gone to a mall and almost ended up drowned. How could she ever get over that?
She covered her mouth, but not before another sob escaped her. Tipping her head back, she allowed her tears free rein. Trying to stop them hadn’t helped.
Kaia dropped next to her again, snatched her close, and hugged her, sobbing louder than her and patting her back so forcefully, he might leave bruises.
She stomped his foot as hard as possible. He released her and leaned back, wiping his jacket-covered arm across his leaky nose.
“I’m sorry,” he said, drawing in great gulps of air. “I’m sorry. I’ve been so worried about Rebel and she…she wants us to be friends. She doesn’t want to be my Chi anymore. I’ll always be her Huahua, though.”
“As well as Fia’s,” Meggie snapped, forgetting her anguish.
“Your betrayal would be bad enough if it was with someone Rebel didn’t know or anyone other than a girl who hates her.
” Jumping to her feet, she kicked his ankle, then grabbed his earlobe and twisted.
“Rebel has been hurt enough. I want you to bleed for what you did to her.”
He started to cry again. “I hate myself for what I’ve done, Meggie. Rebel…she likes me. She really likes me and I fucked it up.”
Meggie kicked him again. “Did you doubt that, jerk? You don’t think Rebel wouldn’t tell you if she didn’t like you?”
“It’s just that I asked her for sex and she said no.”
Meggie gaped at the idiot.
His eyes widened and he gulped. “She’s on birth control,” he said defensively. “I would’ve taken good care of—”
“Stop talking now,” Meggie snarled, then shook her head.
“This is all my fault. What was I thinking?” She raked her fingers through her hair, unable to fully blame Kaia since she’d put him right in Rebel’s path, to outwit her husband and sons.
Hoping to pull Rebel’s attention away from Diesel.
She yanked her daughter out of the fire and doused her in boiling water.
“She told me no,” Kaia said, still talking, sniffling, and crying. “She said she wasn’t ready for sex with me right now.”
Meggie squinted.
“I took it to mean if fuckhead invited her to his bed, she wouldn’t deny him. I was just a fucking filler for that miserable motherfucker.”
Unfortunately, Meggie agreed with Kaia. She sat again.
“Suppose Rebel had been killed?” Kaia whispered in a broken voice.
“She would’ve died hating me because I was a motherfucker.
Jealous of…of…” Disgust crossed his face.
“I would never have forgiven myself,” he said around tears.
“I’m so sorry that I came in here to talk to you, but I didn’t have anyone to talk to and…
and…don’t send me away. Please? Let me…give me a chance to win Rebel’s hand. She wants us to be friends—”
“It was a mistake for me to hire you, Kaia,” Meggie said in a soft voice, no longer furious, just heartsore. “Rebel’s young and impressionable.”
Kaia shook his head. “You’re wrong. She’s young, but she’s so fucking iron-willed. She wants what she wants and won’t allow anyone to deter her or to deny her.”
Determined, yes. But na?ve. She couldn’t see Diesel for the man he truly was. Meggie hadn’t wanted to upset Rebel by denying her request to see Diesel.
Meanwhile… “I have to send you away, Kaia.” Meggie blinked away her own tears, hurting for her daughter and her rush to grow up. “You want to win her back instead of respecting the friendship boundaries she’s setting. That means you’ll pressure her.”
“I won’t. I’ll be at her beck and call. I’ll—”
Meggie laid a hand on his arm. “Good in theory, but not only will you shortchange yourself, you’ll put a lot of emotional baggage on her shoulders.
She doesn’t need that from Diesel or you.
You need to live your life as a young man and explore your options.
Reminder: you’ve been doing that anyway.
You just won’t do it behind her back. You’ll be out in the open, hundreds of miles away. ”
“Rebel thinks I like Fia and should try to have a relationship with her.”
“She might be right,” Meggie said with a shrug, “but there’s no way I’ll stand for you dating that girl while living in my house. She doesn’t like me and I don’t like her. She cares about Rebel even less.”
“How does that matter?”
“Use some of the money I’ve paid you to buy a brain and figure it out.”
Kaia’s face fell. “You think I’m stupid, too?” he said morosely.
“You’re something if you expect me to agree to a scenario where you date Fia and still work for me.”
“So you did only hire me to date Rebel.”
“No, I hired you because I needed help and Rebel liked you. I don’t want you to go because you aren’t with Rebel. I want to get rid of you for the reason she broke up with you.”
His shoulders slumped and Meggie gritted her teeth.
“Listen to me, Kaia, and listen well. I’m not here to make you feel better or to agree to plans that benefit you but hurt my daughter. You can date the little old lady who lives in a shoe for all I care as long as Rebel isn’t affected. Fia is the one person who will affect Rebel’s mental health.”
“Would you rather her be with me or Diesel?”
“Neither. You’re both idiots, too old for her, cheaters, liars, and manipulators.”
“But I love Rebel, and I didn’t cheat because I don’t think she’s the most brilliant, beautiful, amazing girl alive. I cheated because I was tired of jerking off and it felt good to have such a hot chick want me just because. When a man cheats, it rarely has to do with his wife or girlfriend.”
Meggie scowled, thinking of her state when Torie came into their lives. “Says you. I beg to differ.”
Dropping to his knees, Kaia laid his head in her lap, wrapped his arms around her waist, and howled, “PLEASE! Please don’t send me away.”
Squeaking, Meggie shoved him away and jumped to her feet. She didn’t have time for his nonsense.
“Come upstairs with me,” she ordered over her shoulder. “We can eat with Rebel.”