Chapter 23 – Kaia
Rebel’s impending release from the hospital later that day lifted a weight from Kaia’s shoulders. Knowing she’d be home, under the same roof as him, comforted him, and ratcheted up his determination to win her back. He’d make up for his fuckups and not repeat them in the future.
However, winning Rebel and her forgiveness needed a plan, one requiring immediate execution.
He had no time to spare. When she got home, the smear campaign against him would intensify.
He accepted Diesel as his op. However, Kaia had the advantage: age.
As fucked up as that motherfucker was, Kaia still believed Diesel wouldn’t cross that final line and sleep with a girl so young.
The close-in-age law, however that went, might not protect Kaia, though he didn’t understand all the particulars.
But it definitely wouldn’t save Diesel from serious jail time.
Still, Rebel had feelings for Diesel first. If Kaia wanted to come out on top, he had to even the odds in their competition.
Step one: setting up a savings account.
The only issue? He had no clue how.
He glanced at himself one final time in his mirror, smiling at seeing the hair pushing through his scalp evenly. He was so happy he didn’t have patchy regrowth after Axel’s revenge.
Turning to the side, Kaia smoothed out his white T-shirt, wondering if he should leave the hem out. He wanted to look neat and someone worthy of Rebel. He even had another new pair of black jeans on. He looked conventional with his only splash of color in his neon yellow hi-tops.
A final time, he checked himself, then grabbed his billfold and room key. He pretended nervousness didn’t almost make abandon his entire idea. It was a shot in the dark that might not work.
Clicking his tongue, he made his way to the kitchen with the sole purpose of putting his plan into effect. Meggie was already in there, preparing breakfast by herself.
Kaia’s brows snapped together. “Where’s Bishop?” he asked as he entered the room, once again marveling at its size. And what about that sick table? It was huge.
“Gunner wanted to swing,” she explained in curt tones.
Kaia flinched. He hadn’t seen her since he left the hospital Saturday night with Outlaw and feared for his life the entire ride home.
His silence and evil looks had unnerved Kaia more than a litany of threats.
Unfortunately, his transgressions were known throughout the Caldwell clan. Throughout the entire club. It only solidified his status as an outsider. He was familiar with isolation and loneliness. Rebel had given something back to him, and he’d fucked it up massively. He couldn’t lose her.
He hadn’t lied about how the attention of Fia and the club girls made him feel, but Rebel liked him before her mother hired him when he’d been just Kaia, working at the minimart.
Deflating, Kaia stared at Meggie, who looked so much like her daughter, just tinier, even after all the babies she’d had. His mother never lost all of her weight when Kayce was born, a fact she still lamented.
Kaia wasn’t even the tallest dude in the house and he still towered over Meggie. Though petite, she was a force of nature.
Like mother, like daughter.
Not saying anything more, she turned back to her task, and he wondered if she’d ever give him her blessing to pursue Rebel. She had been in his corner. Now, even after their conversation in the hospital chapel, she barely tolerated him.
“What can I help with?” he asked, wanting to make himself useful, to win back Meggie’s favor.
Maybe if her mother softened toward him, Rebel would. And suppose Meggie didn’t? Would Rebel dig her heels in and never give him another chance?
“Start the bacon,” Meggie said as she whisked a bunch of shit into eggs. “Biscuits are already in the oven.”
Nodding, he went to the fridge and took out two packs of bacon. Fried pork was a hot commodity in the Caldwell house, one they’d devour before anything else.
The undercurrent of tension made his skin prickle, anxiety swirling in his gut.
“I’m sorry,” Kaia blurted, too nervous to immediately ask for help with setting up his savings account.
Meggie paused pouring the eggs into a pan. Heaving in a breath, she continued her task before slamming the bowl onto the counter and finally responding. “Talk is cheap, Kaia,” she said without looking at him.
“I care about Rebel.”
She snorted. “Your actions say otherwise.”
“I do,” he insisted, unsure what to say to make her believe him. He was more in control of his emotions than he’d been Saturday evening, but he still wanted to sob and beg. “I swear, if I get another chance, I’ll do right by her.”
“You should’ve done right by her the first time. To my understanding, she gave you several outs, and you denied them all, just to break her heart.”
He flinched because she was right. Over the months, he’d had several opportunities to exit the relationship with Rebel. But he never wanted to leave her.
“I just needed sex. Don’t you remember?” he asked glumly.
Meggie froze. “I recommend you think about your next words very carefully. You’re asking for my forgiveness, but what happens the next time ‘you just need sex’?”
“I’ll jerk off,” he blurted, only realizing his error when Meggie reddened.
He thought it was from anger until she shook her head and lifted her hand. “TMI, Kaia.”
“But you asked,” he said to defend himself.
“You’re right,” she said, then turned off the burner for the eggs. She nodded to the breakfast bar. “Let’s talk.”
Kaia’s stomach growled and he looked longingly at the half-cooked eggs but followed Meggie’s orders.
“Cheating is a hard pass for me, Kaia,” Meggie started as she slid onto the stool and nodded for him to sit.
“I understand,” he mumbled, sliding next to her.
“I doubt that you do since you’ve never been in a committed relationship.”
“No one has ever been committed to me,” he said with a shrug.
Meggie’s look softened and she nodded. “That’s an open wound that you need to deal with if you ever want to be truly happy, sweetheart.”
“Rebel makes me—”
“No,” she cut in. “You have to make yourself happy before anyone else can come in and light up your world. That joy and strength has to come from within, love. Rebel can’t do it for you.
Fia can’t do it for you. No one can, except you.
Once you find inner peace, then that is when your entire perspective will shift.
You’ll know if you want monogamy or an open relationship.
It won’t be a concept you’re striving for to please anyone except yourself. ”
Kaia tried to consider Meggie’s words, but no one had ever given him such understanding or grace. Not even his mother.
“I hear everything you’re saying, Meggie.
I journal sometimes. I used to feel so…so lost and unfulfilled when I’d get money in exchange for sex and whatever I was told to do.
I always listed what I wanted in a relationship.
The most important thing was someone who understood and valued me. Someone who thought I was enough.”
“Yeah, well, she has to be enough for you, too.”
“Rebel is…suppose I told you I’ll give up my job and move out if Rebel gives me another chance to prove how serious I am?” It wasn’t his original goal, but if that’s what it took, then he’d live on the streets.
“Suppose I told you I’ll let you decide what school you’d like to attend and keep you on my payroll as a live-in employee if you stop pursuing Rebel?”
“I don’t want that,” Kaia said without hesitation.
“I’m resigning and I’ll move out today, Meggie…
Mrs. Caldwell.” He’d only become so informal with her because of the way Bishop addressed her.
“I…Rebel is important to me. I-I came in to ask you to help me set up a savings account and to ask what I could buy Rebel to give her when she gets home today. I want to have the money on hand to give Rebel whatever she wants.”
“And yet you just quit, without any prospects for employment.”
And no place to go. He’d moved into that economy apartment because his parents didn’t want him living under their roof anymore.
“If Christopher ever cheated on me, I wouldn’t forgive him,” Meggie…Mrs. Caldwell said. “My trust would be gone completely and it would take a miracle for me to regain it.”
“Miracles happen, Mrs. Caldwell.”
“You don’t have to stop calling me Meggie, Kaia.” She laid her hand against his arm. The blue diamond ring sat on the finger right next to her expensive wedding set, both of which she proudly wore and both of which Outlaw could afford to gift her. “Rebel wants to continue your friendship.”
Kaia nodded. “You can keep track of my every move. If she wants to implant a tracking device in me, she can. I swear to you I’ve learned my lesson.”
“That’s a little extreme. Besides, neither I nor my daughter should have to police you so aggressively. You know right from wrong.”
“I do,” he croaked.
“I won’t send you away, Kaia. I don’t want you with Rebel—”
“Do you want Diesel with her?”
“Do you want her so badly to best him?”
“What? No! I want her for her. She’s beautiful and smart and just a great girl.”
“Who isn’t ready for sex.”
“I know! I swear I won’t pressure her ever again.”
“To answer your question, I don’t want her with Diesel.
He’s a dangerous man with addictions and a deep disregard for women.
He’s also legally my son and I adore him as such.
It would be a stretch to accept him as my son-in-law.
You, on the other hand? You’re a sweet guy with a lot of potential. You’re also super talented.”
Kaia puffed his chest out. “My poetry.”
Meggie laughed. “Your drawings.”
“Those, too,” Kaia said happily.
“Yet, I don’t want you with my daughter. You have deep emotional scars and a lot of growing up to do.”
“So does Reb,” Kaia argued. “That makes us perfect for each other.”
“No, it doesn’t. Not only did you cheat, but you also opened your mouth and confirmed all of Rebel’s suspicions about CJ tapping you to meet her at Turn Creek.” Mrs. Caldwell…Meggie shook her head. “What is wrong with you?”
“She asked me and…and…there were enough lies—”
Her raised hand interrupted him. “It’s done,” she said flatly. “I can only guide Rebel. Try to guide her. She is as stubborn and tunnel-visioned as her daddy.”
Kaia didn’t know where the conversation was going, so he remained silent.
“I will set up a savings account for you and redirect some of your pay to it. Just tell me how much.”
“You take care of everything for me, Meggie,” Kaia told her. “I’d like two-thirds of my pay to go into my savings account.”
The pride in Meggie’s blue eyes meant more to Kaia than she’d ever know.
“Oh, you know what?” She snapped her fingers as if she’d just thought of something. “It’s almost time for your quarterly review.”
“Oh,” Kaia said, deflating. He still hadn’t repaid the debt for her ruined clothes.
She waved her hand and her rings caught a ray of light from the overhead pendant fixtures.
“You’ve done an excellent job so far, so I will bump up your pay.
You will barely notice a difference in the money you receive after the deposits into your new savings account.
Just make sure to use your money wisely. ”
“Yes, yes! I will. Thank you.” He’d spend every dime on Rebel. “What can I get her as a get-well and welcome home present?”
Meggie thought for a moment. “After we eat, you and I will head to Portland. We’ll set up your savings account and then we’ll go shopping.
” She got to her feet and started off but paused.
“You deserve happiness, Kaia. Never forget that. If Rebel only wants to be friends with you, accept that. It’s better than nothing.
If she ever takes you back and you hurt her again, no part of your body will ever be found, and I’ll make sure of that. ”