Jana
“You’re among friends, sweetheart,” Narci promised. “What you say at this table goes no further.”
She glanced hesitantly at Diesel, her mind spinning to come up with an answer that pleased him.
He lifted a brow at her. “Narci’s right.”
“Uh, I-I was…I was th-thinking about our, uh, our wedding. I can’t wait to become your wife.” So very true.
Fia pasted a smile on her lips. “Romantic.”
Tennysee and Tauriel’s nods of agreement and Torrin and Narci’s smiles indicated Jana was on the right track.
“A-aren’t you thinking about that day, m-my love?” she asked, gazing at Diesel through the sweep of her lashes.
“Not in the least,” Diesel responded, his tone as hard as his look.
Tears rushed to her eyes. “Why not?” she wailed. His handsome face seemed hewn from granite, untouchable and unbreakable, off limits to a mortal like her.
“You know fucking well why,” Diesel snapped, not giving an inch. “You want me to air out our issues in front of everyone?”
“No,” she squeaked, cringing at Fia’s amusement. “Any woman would be as anxious as me to become your wife.”
“Our wedding is on hold until you finish rehab. I refuse to marry you right now. Once you’re clean, I’ll see where we stand.”
“But—”
“Jana, babe, let it go for now,” Torrin suggested, his tone as kind as his expression. “Let Rebel heal completely.”
“Rebel! It’s always about Rebel,” Jana cried, blinded by jealousy. She wanted Rebel to cry and feel the same pain and humiliation as her. “Everyone forgets I was hurt too.” She pointed to her still swollen face. “How is Rebel the hero and—”
“She is,” Diesel told her in a tone that brooked no argument. “She saved your fucking life almost at the cost of her own. Because of you. Because you put not only yourself in danger but my little sister—”
“Your little sister?” Jana snapped around a sob, crushed that he was still blaming her when Tabitha sent Alex, Chuck and Ron. “Are you sure that’s why you’re so angry? She doesn’t see you as her brother. She wants to take you from me, but I won’t let her.”
“I have a say in that,” Diesel told her, and she stiffened.
“Fuck you and whatever the fuck you want. You could’ve gotten Torrin, Huck, Zephyr, and Seven killed by Uncle Christopher.
If you hadn’t left, no one would’ve known you and Rebel were alone in that fucking mall.
The entire fucked up situation is because of you and you alone. ”
Jana started crying in earnest. “I’m sorry.”
Diesel shoved back from his chair and stormed to his feet. “You are,” he told her, low and intense. “You make up with Rebel or not only am I not giving you the fucking chance to straighten up, I’m kicking you off club grounds and barring you from ever setting foot here again.”
Jumping up, Jana raced around the table to intercept Diesel’s departure, planting herself in front of him. “Wait, please! I’m sorry. She’s so angry with me and I don’t know why. You know how she gets.”
“Oh, indeed I do.” Diesel thrust his face into hers and narrowed his eyes.
“But for a fucking reason, cunt. Don’t fucking try to make her out to be the villain when that’s on your fucking shoulders.
Make up with her. She risked her life for you.
” He grabbed her throat and shook her. “If you two aren’t friends again by this time tomorrow, I’m taking you to that fucking creek and drowning you myself,” he said and shoved her away.
Not wanting him to leave so angry, she tried to grab his hand. “Diesel—”
“What the fuck don’t you understand, Jana?
” he demanded, shaking off her touch. “Rebel is important to me. She’s important to her parents, her brothers, her family, and you, you, almost took her from us.
Now you have the fucking nerve to want my pity?
When I almost lost Rebel? Bitch, you’re lucky you’re still breathing and that’s only because of her.
She doesn’t know what a stupid twat you were.
Relying on motherfucking Tabitha to supply your drugs is like relying on Johnnie for good advice. ”
“Diesel—”
“Enough, Jana. Enough. I’m not repeating myself and I’m not constantly rehashing this. You have my fucking terms.”
Jana stumbled back to the table, barely able to see because of the tears in her eyes.
“I love you, Diesel,” she called. “So much. Please don’t leave me or…
or cheat on me. I-I couldn’t…I don’t want to play tit-for-tat,” she said, accepting the napkin Narci handed her.
She lowered her lashes, waiting for her words to sink into Diesel.
“Are you implying you’ll fuck someone else?” he called, his hand on the doorknob, his gaze on her, his brow lifted.
Folding her arms, Jana lifted her chin, thinking of Kaia. Her nod drew Diesel back to her side and she hid her smile.
A half-smile tipped his lips. “You want to play that game, sweetheart?”
Jana’s satisfaction slid away.
“Do you want me to describe how good Fia’s pussy is?”
Her nostrils flared and she shook her head, her tears flowing anew.
“I promised you fidelity and I have no intentions of breaking that vow,” Diesel said.
“I haven’t slept with another woman from the time you moved in.
Our marriage is on hold. Our engagement is not.
But tell me now. If you want to pitch pussy, then I’ll take Fia and Tauriel to my old room and fuck them for the entire night. ”
Jana grabbed the napkin again and dabbed her cheeks. “No.”
“You’re sure about that?”
“Yes,” she whispered. “I only want you.”
“Liar.” He smiled, his gray eyes bright and brilliant, gleaming with malice. “Fuck who you want to, Jana. I don’t care. Except if it’s Kaia Riggs. I will make you watch will I castrate him, then choke you with his cock. I despise that motherfucker. Am I clear?”
She nodded. “Is it because of Rebel?”
Smiling, he slid a finger down her cheek and brushed his lips over hers. A shiver went through her. “It certainly isn’t because of you.”
The derision in his voice made Jana’s stomach hurt. Diesel had always been perfect in her eyes. Until now, when he seemed willing to end her life because of Rebel. She’d never been as aware of his faults and flaws.
“Anything else, my love?” he asked her, straightening to his full height.
“Why be faithful if you so obviously hate me?” she whispered.
“You prefer I fuck other women?”
“No! Of course not! I just want your regard and your care and concern.”
“And I want your common sense. Your honesty.”
“This is your fault, Diesel. You could’ve gotten me help and you decided not to.”
“My fault? Fuck you. I made mistakes, yes. You decided to get those fucking drugs. You turned Narci’s offer down.”
“You gave me the cash, when you knew I didn’t want money because I buy drugs. You know how tempted I always am for a hit.”
“You’re right, Jana,” he bit out. “My mistake for believing you thought enough of Rebel not to fuck over her. My fault for giving you the tennis bracelet when you told me you were worried we wouldn’t have time for us to return to the club for you to change and still make it to CJ’s science fair on time.
I’m the one who pulled all your fucking strings.
Forgive me, darling.” Those words dripped with sarcasm.
Her lips trembled. “I’m sorry. It’s just that I’ve been going through a lot recently. Finding out who my father—”
“Don’t you fucking dare,” Diesel roared, his face reddening, rage contorting his features. “Don’t you fucking give me that bullshit. You haven’t thought of Logan or Johnnie since that fucking DNA test.”
“My real mother is in town, though.”
“And? You don’t give a fuck about that either. You still consider Amy and Sue your mother and father.”
Out of arguments, she bowed her head.
“Now, is there anything else?” Diesel demanded.
“Can you walk me to the treehouse?”
“I’m not going home. I’m headed to Portland to spend a fortune on my little sister. No fucking way will emo boy out gift me.”
“You’re competing for the attention of a fourteen-year-old,” Jana said in a tone she didn’t recognize. It reeked of anger, bitterness, and jealousy. “Let that sink in, Diesel.”
“She is my sister.” He repeated that lie as if Jana was a fool. “If you compete against her with me, you will lose.”
He waited a moment, but she had no reply to that. The entire situation exhausted her. No one cared how thoroughly they ignored her at the hospital, and created her problem with Rebel, especially the seething jealousy that she didn’t know what to do with.
“I’ll call you later,” Diesel said and walked out.
Uncomfortable silence descended at the table until Narci pushed back and got to his feet. “Let’s go party in my room, ladies.”
“Me, too?” Jana asked hopefully.
Shaking his head, Torrin stood. “If Diesel were with us,” he said. “But he’s not. I suggest you heed his warning and don’t open that can of worms.” He wrapped an arm around Fia and Tauriel and guided them away.
“If you want Diesel to fuck a different woman every day, then by all means, join us,” Narci told her. “But I will let him know. I’m not risking my life for pussy. Diesel considers you his. I respect that, even if you don’t.”
“He also considers Rebel his,” Jana said, wrinkling her nose.
Sighing, Narci put his arm around Tennysee. “It sounds like you’re the one competing against a fourteen-year-old, Jana. You want to be Diesel’s woman? Then act fucking grown and get your shit together.”
Narci guided Tennysee toward the hallway without looking back.
Later that evening, hours after she’d returned to the lonely treehouse, Jana sat on the sofa, unable to stop her tears.
She wasn’t sure why they released her from the hospital so soon when her face was swollen and she was in such terrible pain.
If she was still at Hortensia General Hospital, maybe Diesel wouldn’t have been so harsh with her.
She knew if she texted Diesel, he wouldn’t respond. Whether he’d truly kill her if she didn’t make up with Rebel, she didn’t want to find out, so she pulled up Rebel’s number.
I am so sorry for acting the way I have been. I am just in so much pain and it is putting me in a bad mood. You’re so important to me and I’m grateful to you.
She waited.
Rebel: I’m not in the mood for your games.
Anger flashed through Jana. Instead of asking who she thought she was, she glared at the phone and wrote a sweeter response.
Jana: Oh, no. I am so sorry to hear that. Truly. Especially since I’m not playing games. Can we talk? When you’re better, I mean. I’m still your big sis, Diesel’s fiancée.
Something she better not forget.
Rebel: Please leave me alone. We aren’t friends anymore.
As angry as Jana was with Rebel, it panicked her to think the girl was deserting her.
Jana: We will always be friends. Believe me. I am so sorry if I hurt you. I was scared, alone, and IN PAIN. I’m sure you can understand that.
Rebel: I can, but that doesn’t excuse you. I risked a lot to help you.
Jana: I know, and I’m grateful to you.
Oddly, Jana was. She wanted to get back to that place where she admired Rebel without seeing her as a threat. But she was so deeply hurt, she didn’t know how to turn her thinking around.
Jana: Please Rebel. Just give me a chance to talk to you.
Rebel: Fine. Tomorrow. Momma gave me the pain pill and it’s making me sleepy.
Lightweight.
Jana: Wimp
Rebel: Right?
Jana: I am happy you and Kaia made up.
Not.
Rebel: We haven’t yet. I don’t know if I can ever trust him, but we’ll see.
Spoiled cunt.
Rebel: Life’s so short. He cheated on me twice AND he lied, though. I can’t live my life with a cheater.
Jana: As your big sister, I vote that you give him another chance. Good guys are hard to find.
Rebel didn’t respond, so Jana suspected she’d fallen asleep. Not that it mattered. She had someone else to text.
Jana: Hey, Kaia.
The chime came a moment later and Jana smiled, not wasting time reading the message.
Kaia: We can’t be friends anymore, Jana. Please don’t text me again. If you insist, I’ll change my number so you don’t have it. See you around.
Jana read the message three times before she fully processed the words. Screaming in frustration, she pitched her phone and then burst into tears.