Chapter 34 – Jana
After not hearing from him last night, Jana didn’t expect to see Diesel so early in the morning, although his unexpected arrival at the treehouse calmed her fears that he’d abandoned her.
He stood near the door, glancing around, not speaking, merely taking everything in.
“I-I talked to Rebel,” she said to break the ice, but she was lost and confused, wanting to hold onto her anger and resentment toward Rebel while missing her desperately. She was sorry she’d been so mean, though she couldn’t drum up the courage to text her again. “She forgives me.”
Diesel nodded. “She told me.”
Of course she had. “I guess she would,” Jana said, hoping she conveyed understanding and meekness. “She tells you everything.”
“As she should, but I don’t want to talk about my little sister.”
Neither did Jana.
Diesel crooked his finger at her. She didn’t hesitate to stand and go to him, starved for his love and attention.
He pulled her into his arm and kissed her.
Really kissed her, the kind that weakened her knees and brought her entire body alive.
Despite her bruises and the pain of his wild kisses, she didn’t care.
He was the starving one, frantic for her.
“Your mouth is so fucking sweet,” he grunted.
“Thank you, babe. Yours—”
He clapped a hand over her mouth and she opened her eyes. His were still closed. “Don’t talk, sweetheart. I just want to feel you.”
She nodded. He must’ve felt the movement of her head because he dropped his hand and began kissing her again.
Her eyelids, her forehead, the bridge of her nose, her cheeks, finally finding her lips again and taking her mouth with mind-blowing mastery.
He slipped his tongue in, twining with hers, exploring her depths, touching the delicate pads of her cheeks, the roof of her mouth, leaving her dazed and breathless, until she couldn’t bear it, needing him to fuck her.
She gripped his hard cock, wishing he’d unfasten his trousers, so she could really feel him.
“Make love to me, Diesel, please,” she said in a small voice, hoping to reach him, wondering why he denied physical intimacy and only wanted to kiss her.
His breath hitching, he gave her a heavy-lidded gaze. “Say that again.” He stole more kisses from her, unable to get enough. “In that tone,” he said huskily, taking her face between his hands.
Jana would’ve done anything he asked of her if he fucked her. “Make love to me.”
Sucking in a breath, he tipped his head back, the veins in his neck straining against his skin. “Again,” he breathed, deep, masculine, and almost painful. “Tell me again in that sweet voice.”
“Make love to me, Diesel,” she said, soft and tender, just as he requested.
Grunting, he attacked her mouth, kissing her as if his life depended on it. As if he’d never get enough of her.
She said it again, determined to drive him wild, so he’d remember she belonged to him.
“I need you,” he said hoarsely. “God, so fucking much. If only—”
“I’m here,” she responded, sounding as she had six or seven years ago when she was young and innocent.
He heaved in a breath, allowing her to take his hand and guide him to the sofa. She pushed him down and his eyes flew open. Dark need reflected back at her and made her belly tighten.
Surprise flared in his eyes as if he hadn’t expected to see her. She giggled.
“Diesel—”
“Shhh.” He covered her mouth with his, stealing her words and her sanity. Whatever she’d been about to say didn’t matter.
Panting, he brought his hands to his fly. Unable to wait, Jana helped him free his cock, then she slid to her knees and kissed the tip. He shivered.
“Spit or swallow,” he said, almost too low for her to hear.
“You know I love to swallow,” she said with a little pout, sliding his cock over her tongue, tasting his saltiness, smelling his manliness.
“Fuck.” He surged down her throat and said, “Spit or swallow,” again, ignoring Jana’s gag. “Fuck, stop, baby. Stop. I can’t…”
Tangling his fingers through her hair, he eased his cock out of her mouth at the same time he tugged her head away and pulled her onto his lap. His gaze met hers, unreadable but intense.
He pulled her close and urged her head onto his shoulder. He didn’t make a move to lift her oversized T-shirt or remove her panties, so she did the honors and impaled herself on his cock, groaning at the sensation.
“You’re so wet for me, baby.”
“Only for you,” she whispered.
“Don’t talk, Jana. Just feel me, sweetheart. Lay your head back on my shoulder, so…so our heartbeats can meld together.”
She fell against him without hesitation, undone by this new version of Diesel. “Those are the most romantic words anyone has ever said to me.”
“Shhhh, sweetheart. Let me, us, enjoy this.”
She rode her man, her Diesel, listening to his words of worship and longing, all the heartache of the past days gone. He’d forgiven her. He thought she was beautiful, the most exquisite girl in the world.
“Your pussy’s so sweet and tight, precious to me.”
Each word strengthened Jana’s desire, her driving need for him.
“I wish…goddamn…I wish for…so much,” he said in a strangled voice and she knew he was close. “You’re mine. You’re fucking mine,” he gritted. “No one else’s.”
“Yes!” Jana cried.
Growling, he filled her pussy with his cum, thrusting into her fast, hard. Deep. She screamed, lifting herself and throwing her head back. Diesel drew one of her nipples into his mouth and she shattered, unable to bear it as much as she wished it could’ve lasted forever.
He rested his head on the back of the sofa.
“I love you so much, Diesel.”
“I need to wash my cock. Move.”
“O-okay,” she said, shocked at his reverting back to the cruel man he’d become after Saturday’s accident. Lifting herself up, she stood, her thighs wet with the aftermath of their sex.
“Get dressed, sweetheart,” he said, standing and heading to the bathroom. He didn’t take long, returning with his clothing completely repaired.
She hadn’t moved.
He frowned. “Dress, Jana.”
“Wh-where are we going?”
“You’re taking your birth control, aren’t you?”
“I missed Sunday, but I took it yesterday and this morning.”
“If there are any mishaps from just now, I’ll take care of it.”
“You wouldn’t want my baby?” she asked, crushed when he shook his head.
“I’m not equipped for fatherhood and you definitely aren’t fit to be a mother. That child would suffer with us as parents. It’s better to never get born.”
“Okay,” she agreed, not knowing what else to say.
“I’m telling you one last fucking time to get dressed. Otherwise, I’ll carry you to my car.”
“Sounds romantic.”
He narrowed his eyes and she laughed nervously.
“Can you at least tell me where we’re going?”
“To your home for the next twelve weeks. A rehab facility.”
“What? No! But—”
“If you want to marry me, you need to clean up,” he said flatly.
“Meggie said it would be outpatient.”
“Aunt Meggie isn’t marrying you. I want you to have a more intensive treatment. I don’t want to worry that my wife will meet with a drug dealer every time she goes to a fucking mall.”
“I want outpatient.” If she was gone for three months, there was a high probability that she would lose him. “Suppose I tell you I don’t care what you want?”
“Then I’d tell you goodbye and throw you the fuck off premises. Don’t fuck with me.”
“But…but…” She covered her mouth to hold in her sob. “Please, Diesel. Please!”
“No.”
She face-planted on the sofa and wailed, hoping it moved him, praying he wouldn’t abandon her. “C-can I talk to Aunt Meggie?” she finally asked, long moments later.
“I’m counting to three. If you haven’t made a move to follow my orders, our engagement is off.”
“No!” she screamed, jumping to her feet and rushing to one of the bags on the kitchen table. “You were so tender with me—”
“You’ll be gone for three months. I needed a last fuck for the long dry spell facing me.”
Hope unfurled inside her and she whirled to face him. “You aren’t going to be with another girl?”
“I told you I wouldn’t betray you in that way and I won’t.”
“I thought that only meant if I was here.”
“I’ve paused our wedding plans,” he said irritably. “I haven’t broken our engagement. If you make up with Rebel, complete rehab, and stay clean, we’ll marry next year.”
“Thank you.” Rehab meant a break from Rebel and Diesel’s determination that Jana make up with her. It would allow Jana to explore her unwarranted resentment when she wasn’t even sure where it, or her extreme jealousy, came from. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.
“You’re what’s best for me. I can’t have anyone else.”
“You could have anyone you want.”
“Not anyone, sweetheart,” he said with a sad smile.
She shrugged. “I guess no one can have everyone.”
“I guess not,” he said politely.
She thought of her birth mother. By the time she left rehab, Hopper would be gone. Besides, seeing her would keep Jana in Diesel’s company a bit longer. “Do you know where Hopper is?”
“I do.”
“Can we stop at her place before you take me to wherever?”
“I suppose I can.”
“Thank you. I love you.”
“I’ll be in my car,” he said, turned, and walked out.
Walking into the home where the DNA tests took place surprised Jana. She didn’t know why, but she didn’t expect Hopper to have access to the house when she thought it belonged to Celia.
The kitchen was bright and airy, surrounded by windows with gray walls, white cabinetry and yellow accents. Jana hoped she’d have a kitchen as nice as this to one day call her own. She’d run a house where Diesel came home every night to her.
“Miss Jana,” Bash greeted, bringing Jana back to the present. “The woman of the hour.”
Startled, Jana blinked. Bash, Cleaner, and Tio, sat at the kitchen table, reminding her of Alex, Chuck, and Ron, looking ready to pounce on her at any moment.
Jana eased closer to Diesel. She didn’t know them very well, but they all had mean eyes, despite how handsome Tio was. He was an older, harder version of CJ. If she hadn’t met them that night or if Diesel wasn’t with her, she might’ve run away.