Chapter 22
22
S ofia stared at the door where Sacha’s men had basically shoved Rogan MacGuire and his men out of the room.
“Sacha,” she said worriedly.
“I don’t want him coming back in here,” he said to Viktor. “See to it.”
The other man nodded and left the room.
Leaving the two of them alone.
She swallowed heavily and reminded herself that Sacha loved her. Sacha wouldn’t hurt her.
Would he always love her, though?
If he knew it all?
“Don’t look at me like that,” he told her. “I’m mad at you right now, but I would never harm you. You better know that, Kotyonok .”
She jolted in surprise and then winced as her back twinged.
“Sit down, Sofia, you’re obviously in pain. You haven’t been taking care of yourself, have you?”
Guilt filled her.
She was a grown woman. She should be able to look after herself instead of creating issues everywhere she went.
“Sorry,” she whispered as she went to sit on a hard chair.
But he patted the bed. “Here.”
She sat as he climbed off and raised the back of the bed so she could lean back. He knew exactly what she needed, which eased the tension inside her.
This was her Sacha.
He would never harm her.
“Do you need a heating pad? I can send for a nurse.”
This was ridiculous. She felt like such a fake. “You’re the one who is injured. You were shot. I should be taking care of you.”
He shot her a stern look as she tried to move, so she froze. “Stay where you are. Right now, I look a hell of a lot better than you do.”
Charming.
But likely accurate.
He started pacing slowly back and forth across the room. “Tell me.”
This was it.
Her chance to come clean.
“Oleg was abusing me.”
The words were so hard to say, yet as soon as they came out, she felt lighter. Like a weight was gone.
But then she saw Sacha’s face and realized that weight, her burden, had gone straight onto his shoulders.
Guilt hit her hard and fast.
“Sacha, I’m sorry.”
His gaze slammed into hers with a ferocity that stole her breath. “Why would you be sorry?”
“B-because you don’t need this. You have so much on your plate, and you were just shot! I’m adding a burden you don’t need.”
“Is that why you never told me?” he said quietly, moving closer to the bed. Then he sat on it, facing her. She found herself fidgeting until he covered her hands with his. “You didn’t tell me he was abusing you because you were worried it would burden me?”
“No,” she managed to get out before swallowing heavily.
That lump in her throat wouldn’t go away. She kind of thought it might be a ball of her emotions. All trapped together.
Waiting to explode out of her.
“Then why? Did you think I wouldn’t believe you? That I would take that fucking dead man’s word over yours?”
“No?”
“Then why, Kotyonok ? Why didn’t you tell me he was hurting you? You had to know I would take care of it.”
“I did know that,” she whispered. “I do know it.”
“Then why!”
She jumped. More due to the emotion in his voice than anything else. Aleksandr never raised his voice. He rarely got angry. But it was clear to see he was furious.
“Because he was blackmailing me.”
He clearly wasn’t expecting that. He sat there, staring at her, his breath coming in harsh pants.
“Blackmail?”
Sofia nodded.
“What the hell could he have on you that he could use as blackmail?” he asked.
She glanced away. “I’m not the angel you think I am.”
Sacha snorted. “I know you’re no angel, Sofia.”
She frowned. “You do?”
“I do. You have your faults, like all of us. I also know that you try to do your best by everyone else. Especially me. Sometimes to the detriment of your own safety and health. What blackmail?”
She ran her gaze around the room, looking for any sign of cameras.
“The room is safe.”
She nodded. “Oleg applied for a job eight months ago at Solynshko, but I didn’t get a good feeling from him, so I didn’t hire him. He kept trying to flirt with me, but I didn’t like how he stared at me. Like I was a piece of meat or something. And he tried to play on my sympathies by saying he had recently emigrated here and didn’t know many people.”
She clenched her hands into fists. “A month later, he returned to the restaurant, but he was different. There was a smug look about him. He was even sleazier than before, when I didn’t think that was possible. He wanted to talk to me, but I sent him away. Or I thought I had. He kept coming back. Finally, I decided to meet with him. That’s when he showed me the video.”
“What video?” he asked with a slight frown.
“One of you shooting Danill.”
Danill had worked for Sacha. Until the day that Sacha found him hurting one of the women who worked for him.
She knew what had happened to Danill, even if she didn’t know the details.
“I swear it looked like a real video. I didn’t realize he’d just made it up. How did he even know you shot Boris?” she asked.
“Wait. There was a video?”
“A fake one. But I didn’t learn that until last night when Oleg boasted how he’d brought me to heel with a fake video. He told me that if I didn’t pretend to date him and give him a job, he would release the video to the cops. And that if anything happened to him, he had a failsafe ready. Someone else would release the video.”
Sacha started to swear. “That fucking bastard. Sofia, you should have come to me anyway.”
“I was trying to protect you!”
“That’s not your job!” he told her fiercely.
A sob tried to work its way up her throat. “I thought about it. I figured you would work out what to do... but that wasn’t the only secret he had. He had another one... of mine.”
Aleksandr narrowed his eyes. “There’s something else you’re not telling me?”
“It’s about... about the accident.” She wiped at her eyes. “The night I hurt my back and Dmitri died.”
“What about it?”
“Dmitri wasn’t driving the car.”
Sacha frowned. “You were?”
“No,” she whispered.
“Someone else was?”
“Yes. And that someone else... you have to understand, Sacha. I thought I loved him. I was young and stupid and?—”
“Just tell me,” he said, cutting her off.
“I was dating this guy in college. He, well, he swept me off my feet. He was charming and kind. I had never met anyone like him before.”
She’d never had a chance to. She’d rarely been allowed off the estate when her father was alive. And she’d had to do a lot of begging to get Sacha to agree to college. The only way he’d let her go was if she agreed to a guard. So Dmitri had gone with her.
“Dmitri never told me about a boyfriend.”
“Mike bribed him,” she whispered. “For a start, we kept things secret. We messaged lots, and he asked who the scary Russian dude following me around was and if he needed to get rid of him. I told him that my family was overprotective, so I had a guard.”
“Bribed him? Dmitri betrayed me for money?”
A shiver ran through her at the pure fury in his voice. Sofia got it. She hadn’t even been aware that Mike had been bribing Dmitri until right at the end. She’d thought he was being loyal to her rather than Sacha.
Stupid Sofia.
“I didn’t know about it until the night of the accident when Mike told me. He told me a lot of things that night—like how he had been sent to get close to me. That nothing we had was real. I thought he loved me and he was just spying on me for his family. What an idiot I was.”
“What? Sofia, who the fuck was this guy?” he asked.
“His real name was Rafe Ramirez. Apparently, his brother was the one who sent him to get close to me and find out if I knew anything about your business. I’m not sure who his brother was. He said he was leaving and going home because I was clearly ignorant of everything regarding the Bratva. He’d searched my apartment, my emails, my texts, everything he could get his hands on, and all he had discovered was that I was boring. I loved him, yet he thought I was boring.”
It had hurt.
So fucking much.
“Why he told me all this while driving me home from a party, I don’t know. I’d been drinking and he was the designated sober driver. Perhaps he thought it was easier to tell me while I was drunk. I’m not sure why he didn’t just disappear on me. Ghost me. I... I got mad, so I hit him. I’d never hit anyone before. Just at that moment, a car pulled out in front of us. He lost control of the vehicle. As soon as we went off the road, the car started rolling.”
“Where the fuck was Dmitri?” Sacha asked.
“I don’t know,” she whispered. “But when I woke up, Dmitri was in the driver’s seat. Dead. And I couldn’t feel my legs.”
She’d been terrified. So scared.
“Mike stood over me, and for a moment, I thought he was going to kill me. He said as much. He told me that he should kill me because I was a loose end, and he shouldn’t let me live. I thought that was the end. He said that if I told anyone, he’d come back and finish the job. So it would be in my best interests to keep quiet, especially since he was sure that my cousin wouldn’t like to find out I’d been sleeping with the enemy. That I had betrayed h-him and had given away family secrets.”
“Sofia, you didn’t know who he was. You didn’t betray me.”
“It felt like I had,” she said with a sob. “That’s when I learned that he’d been paying off Dmitri, who had also been feeding him bits of information. Things he’d have to make clear had come from me if I blabbed. But I would never... I’d never betray you, Sacha.”
His frown deepened.
Her throat closed over. Oh, God. He didn’t believe her.
“How the fuck did Oleg know about this?” he asked.
“I don’t know. But he must have known the video wasn’t enough to get me to do what he wanted. That he’d need more.”
“Wonder why he even bothered with the threat of the video,” Sacha mused.
“I think it’s because that was tangible proof. He thought that would keep him alive because I wouldn’t want to risk it getting into the wrong hands.”
“I need to speak to Oleg. Find out what the fuck he knows and who told him all of this. He’s obviously got connections. He knows that I shot Danill, even if the video was fake. And he has to know who this Rafe Ramirez guy is.”
“What if... what if he finds out? Mike? I mean, Rafe?” she whispered.
“I will keep you safe, Kotyonok ,” he told her fiercely. “You believe me?”
She nodded. She did. But she was still scared. “I would never betray you.”
Sacha gathered her into his arms, shocking her. “This is my fault.”
“What? Why?”
“Because you should know that you can come to me about anything. You have this bad habit of self-sacrifice. Of taking everything on yourself and not letting me help you.”
“I told you, I don’t want to be a burden. A disappointment.”
He leaned back and stared down at her. “And what if I told you I only ever took all this on for you?”
Her gaze rose in shock to his. “What?”
“It was all for you, Kotyonok . I stayed for you. I could have left after your father died. Could have run off and disappeared. I stayed because you are my sister. I’m the fucking Pakhan because I know this position will keep you safe. You are all that’s important in my life, Sofia. And to know that bastard was harming you...”
“He wasn’t for a start,” she said hastily. “He was just a creep. But he told me he just wanted to get into your good books. Something must have changed, though. Maybe when he saw you didn’t want to let him close, he started to take his frustrations out on me.”
“Fuck. And you hid that from me? From everyone?”
She nodded. “At first, it was just verbal. But then it grew more physical, which mostly was easy to hide. And it was only when he would catch me alone in the restaurant, so it really didn’t happen all that often.”
Sacha ran his hand over his face, looking exhausted. “I don’t know whether you’re trying to justify the abuse or make me feel better about it, but I don’t care if it only happened once. It happened. And that is unacceptable. If anyone touches you, if they say bad things to you, if they give you a fucking paper cut, I want to know. Hear me?”
“Y-yes.”
“He’s a dead man. You get that, right? He will never harm you again. No one will.”
She had a bad feeling that she was going to end up in a large protective bubble.
“And I will find the asshole who was dating you to get close to me, then threatened to kill you if you talked.”
She was so scared. But she knew she had to trust him to take care of her and himself.
“I don’t want to lose you, Sacha. You’re all I have.”
He wiped away her tears. “Am I?”
She frowned, confused.
“Don’t get me wrong, you’re all I have too. And I understand the fear of losing those you love. But you’ll always have me. No matter what. My love isn’t contingent on your behavior. You don’t have to be or act a certain way to keep it. I’ve failed to teach you that.”
“You haven’t!” she said. “I’m a grown woman. I shouldn’t be this way.”
“Uncle was a good man in a lot of ways,” he said. “He took me in, kept me safe, but the best thing he did was give me you. However, I didn’t always agree with the way he did things. Not when it came to you. I know that he taught you to be stoic, to hold everything in, and to never ask for help or show weakness. But that’s not healthy.”
“But you never show weakness,” she said. “You’d never anyone see you falter.”
“I know, Kotyonok . But it’s different for me. I am the Pakhan. Besides, this is the way I am, anyway. You do not need to be like me. You should be free to feel the way you want. And while there are some things you cannot do, and there will be times when you cannot fall apart... you should at least be able to come to me. To fall and know that I will always catch you.”
She was confused.
That wasn’t how she’d been raised.
“I don’t?—”
“Swear to God, if you tell me you don’t want to be a burden, I’m going to spank you.”
Both of them seemed a bit shocked after he said that. Then she let out a giggle. She didn’t really know where it came from; it just escaped.
And Aleksandr actually relaxed and smiled. “Sorry. Took the big brother thing a bit far.”
“Yeah, you’re never spanking me.”
Now, Colm, on the other hand . . .
Immediately, she felt terrible knowing she could have caused issues between Aleksandr and Rogan.
“You need to tell me what’s going on between you and Finlayson,” Aleksandr demanded.
“Um. Well . . . nothing.”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t like being lied to, Sofia.”
“Yikes. You sound just like him.”
He raised an eyebrow.
Yes. There were definite similarities.
“We kissed,” she blurted out. She could feel herself blushing. “I... I like him. But I’m not good enough for him.”
His face grew stern. “Excuse me? You’re not good enough for him ? I can tell you now that it’s definitely the other way around.”
She shook her head. “It’s not. He’s perfect. He’s amazing. Kind and protective.”
Sacha gave her a look filled with disbelief.
“He didn’t mean any of what just happened,” she added quickly.
“He thought I stood by while you were being abused,” Sacha said, sounding horrified. “That I was okay with it.”
“He’s just upset. He’s been awake all night.”
“And how would you know that?”
“Um, well, he cared for me after Oleg kidnapped me. He even sat up all night to watch me when my back was playing up, and every time I had a nightmare, he’d touch me, and apparently, I’d stop frowning and fall back asleep.”
And she was probably saying too much.
“He’s a good man; he deserves someone who isn’t broken like I am. Who doesn’t make mistake after mistake.”
“Sofia, you’re too hard on yourself,” he said quietly but firmly. “You are not broken, and I do not like you saying that about yourself. Believe me, he doesn’t deserve you.”
“It doesn’t matter,” she whispered. “Even if he was interested in me before, I don’t think he is now.”
“Really? Were you not here just before when he looked like he was about to tear me limb from limb over you?”
She bit her lip. “He was just upset over Oleg.”
“ I am upset over Oleg. Finlayson looked like a man who would raze this city to the ground if someone looked at you wrong.”
She bit her lip. Was he right?
Suddenly, the door opened and Rogan MacGuire stepped in.
“Have you forgotten how to knock?” Aleksandr said dryly.
“I don’t knock,” Rogan said arrogantly. “Also, I have friends coming to dinner tonight, and Miller is all worked up about it. So I’d like to get done here so I can get back to her. I also don’t appreciate being escorted out of a room.”
Jesus.
Did he come in here looking for a fight?
“I don’t appreciate being accused of letting someone abuse my cousin.” Aleksandr stood with his arms over his chest. “What do you want, MacGuire?”
“I came in to check on Sofia. Colm is worried about her. He’d like to see her.”
“No.”
“I’ll come out,” she said at the same time as Sacha spoke. She sent him an exasperated look as he put his arm out to stop her from getting off the bed. “Aleksandr.”
“I would like to speak to Finlayson. And then I wish to see Oleg. Sofia needs to rest. At home. Where she belongs.”
Rogan shot his gaze to Sofia. “Is that what you want?”
Holy moly.
Was he trying to anger Sacha?
“Um, yeah,” she said. “Although I would like to see Colm and reassure him that I’m fine.”
She expected that after that, she likely wouldn’t see him again... and damn, that hurt.
“I will reassure him. I will get someone to take you home.” Turning, Sacha cupped the back of her neck and kissed her forehead.
In front of Rogan.
She wasn’t sure he’d ever shown her affection in front of someone else.
“You matter, Sofia. More than you’ll ever know.”
Tears filled her eyes, and she was so shocked that it took her a minute to realize that Igor, one of Sacha’s guys, was standing in front of her while Sacha and MacGuire were already gone.