Skye
Ducane was gone when I woke up. He ran in the mornings, always had.
I lay there for twenty minutes before I gave up on sleep and went to find breakfast. I couldn’t quite describe how I felt.
My nervous system was both regulated and going haywire in anticipation of what was to come.
But at the bottom of it all, I trusted Ducane to handle whatever needed handling.
I yawned and stretched before heading to the bathroom to start my morning. The coffee pot beeped as I walked in, and I smiled. I appreciated him setting it before he left.
Small things.
The villa kitchen was stocked like he had been planning this trip for months, which he probably had.
I found bagels, cream cheese, thin-sliced ham, fruit, and eggs.
I even found capers. I cracked my neck, put Teedra Moses’ Backstroke on low, moved around in his t-shirt and slides that were three sizes too big, and started breakfast.
My phone rang before I cracked the first egg.
Fee.
“Airalynn is always running her damn mouth,” I said, sipping my coffee and watching her come onto the screen.
“Girl, I should’ve been the first damn call. I have been minding my business ever since, which you know does not come naturally to me, so you owe me.” A pause. “How are you feeling? What the hell, sis?”
That was Fee. Not what happened, not oh my God, just how you feeling. Checking my temperature before she said anything else.
“I’m good,” I said. “Enjoying Infinity Island.”
“Mhhm. And the company?”
“Delicious. Damn, I missed that nigga.”
We both squealed. She had always been on whatever I was on, but I knew she loved Ducane specifically for me. I had lost my parents early, and she had never had an accurate representation of love, but she said it was always in his eyes and his patience. She had never told one lie about that.
“Okay, serious.” She cleared her throat. “Are you coming the fuck back home?”
“Fee, stop playing. Yes, I’ll be back home. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Have you met Ducane Simmons? He is not back in your life by chance, and he is not going to allow you to walk away. You know that, right?”
“I do know that. But Ducane can’t expect me to just upend my life. That’s crazy.”
“I’m just saying I called it. Years ago, I said y’all were going to end up back here. Everybody looked at me like I was crazy.”
“You were a little crazy.”
“I was right.” She let that sit. “What are you not telling me?”
My line beeped before I could answer. Airalynn. I cracked an egg and brought her on.
“Ophelia’s nosey ass is already on the line,” I said.
“Good morning, y’all,” Airalynn sang. “How’s paradise with my gorgeous brother-in-law?”
Fee lost it. A full, quiet cackle I felt through the phone.
“You need to be stopped. He is not your brother-in-law,” I said.
“Mhmm,” Airalynn said. “How you gon tell me what he is to me?”
“I hate both of you. Y’all always meat riding Ducane.”
“No, you don’t,” Fee said, still laughing. “You love us. And you love him.”
“Carter told me to mind my business, by the way. He must’ve forgot who he married.”
“Carter is the smartest person in your household,” I said.
“Oh, please, you look like you’re living it up. You’re welcome.”
She wasn’t lying; the villa he had booked for us was top of the line. We had a beautiful view and access to our own little slice of beach. The breeze made you curl into each other. This place was beautiful. I would never get over it.
Fee got serious again. “It was always supposed to be you two. I think we’ve all been silently cheering you both on as individuals to get better so you could be better together.”
“I know.” I dropped my voice, glancing toward the front door. Ducane could walk back in any second. “Y’all remember what I did?”
“You mean when you shot marbles at his daddy’s law firm?” Fee said. “If that ain’t love, I don’t know what is.”
“Or that other thing?” Airalynn mentioned.
“Scandalous,” I said, flipping her the bird. The dead silence almost killed me until Airalynn laughed.
“Tough crowd.”
“Very,” Fee commented before continuing. “Those marbles did work, honey.” We laughed like two Hyenas for a minute.
“I can’t believe you had the better aim.”
“I did,” Fee agreed, not even a little ashamed. “Ruben Simmons deserved every single one of those windows to come crashing down. Fuck him and fuck him some more.”
“He did,” I said. And he deserved more, especially for what he’d done to Ducane.
That was the part nobody talked about. One would think I broke those windows for me, because Ruben called me nothing, treated me like dirt under that fine ass shoe.
But that wasn’t it, not really. I did it for the boy I watched chase that man’s approval.
Ducane ground himself down to nothing trying to be enough for a father who’d already decided he wasn’t.
I couldn’t fix that. I couldn’t make Ruben see his own son.
But I could put marbles through his precious firm and let him feel a fraction of what he’d put on Ducane.
That was love too. The ugly, marble-shooting kind.
“Does Ducane know?” Airalynn asked.
“He does now.”
The voice came from right behind me, and it wasn’t mine.
We all froze, wide-eyed, and it was so funny I almost lost my composure, but I refused to turn around. Fee dropped off first with a snicker. Airalynn followed two seconds later.
I hung up and turned to face him.
“Breakfast is almost ready,” I said, avoiding his eyes. “Go shower.”
He stood there in his running clothes, muscles glistening with a grin on his face that told me he had been standing there longer than I wanted to know.
“I will, but first…” he said, kissing my temple. “I’d like to discuss the vandalism of my pops’ law firm.”
I exploded into laughter because I’d always hoped I’d get the chance to confess to him that I was riding even when I wasn’t in the vehicle.
Even with my joy, the thought made me sad.
I’m sure life had been fine for him without me, like it had been fine for me.
But as Airalynn said, fine wasn’t enough.
Not when we hadn’t done anything but love each other.
“You and Fee or you and Airalynn?” he asked, pinching his chin.
“It was Fee. We regret nothing.”
He shook his head and laughed.
“Mad at me?” I purred, pulling him down to me and pressing my lips to, sweat and all, because I didn’t care.
We pulled back, and he wiped his lips. “I could never be mad at you.”
“Sit. I’ll get our plates.”
I fixed us both plates with everything on them except the fruit. We always shared that, so I left it in one bowl between us. He dropped into the chair at the kitchen table and pulled me down into his lap,
I handed him his plate. My playlist was still playing low. We ate in silence for a second; the island breeze blew the sheer curtains around.
“He was so damn mad,” Ducane said. “It took him years to get over it. He’s been going off on ‘those damn kids’ for years.”
“We were aiming for five. He got lucky we only hit four before we started freaking out.”
He laughed into my hair. “What was your weapon of choice?”
“A slingshot.” I covered my mouth laughing. “We grabbed a bag of marbles from the Dollar Tree, put on gloves, and let it rip, tater chip.”
“I should’ve known it was you and Fee on bullshit.”
“It was my last fuck you to him. For us… I mean you, of course.”
He squeezed me a little tighter and didn’t say anything. I let that be what it was.
We sat there until the plates were empty and the coffee was cold.
“Come on,” I said, standing and taking his plate. “You’re sweaty and need a shower. Which means I need one now, too.”
“That a fact?”
“It is.” I looked back at him over my shoulder. “Should we run the forest shower scene back?”
He was already on his feet and heading my way. I took off running to the shower, laughing along the way, stripping off his shirt.
Maybe I wouldn’t go home after all.
The hard slap to my ass made me cum so hard I saw stars. If I took nothing else from this trip, I’d take this. The time we missed. The orgasms I missed. Because Ducane was my first. My only.
I hadn’t planned it that way. But once we split, my focus wasn’t on sex or dating. It was about becoming the best version of myself for the people depending on me. I let myself grieve the loss of Ducane and turned it into fuel. Family. Career. Fun when I could find it.
“You’d better stay covered up unless you want me back in those walls.” The loofa dragged down my stomach, lower, his fingers finding me still swollen and sensitive. I gasped. “Mm. That’s what I thought. We gon’ be late, and it’ll be your fault.”
“What are we even doing? I just want to be a beach bum.”
“We can after this mud bath. We...” He trailed off, tugging at his ear.
“Ducane, say it. We what?”
He looked at me a second too long. There was more to the sentence, but he swallowed it. Whatever it was, it was bigger than a spa day. I felt it land in the room and settle.
“Nah.” He let his hand drop. “I just want us to get rid of the toxic shit. Start clean.”
He gave me the easy version, and I let him, because I wasn’t ready for the hard one either.
I pulled a dress over my head. “Well then, we should get going.”
I smiled at him, grabbed my bag and sunglasses, and he followed me in swim trunks, no top.
“You’re the one who needs to stay covered up. Sexy self.”
The blushing grin on his face made me shake my head.
God, we were so down bad for each other, and that hadn’t changed.
The ease of us broke my heart. That was what nobody told you.
Love wasn’t enough by itself. It wasn’t armor, wasn’t a shield, wasn’t a guarantee of anything.
We’d had all the love in the world, and it still hadn’t saved us.
You needed more than that, and back then, we just didn’t have it.
I pushed the thought aside and took his hand as he led us the rest of the way.