Chapter 15 #2
He closed his eyes and pressed his hand over his mouth. “And I was over here writin’ songs about ya, thinking you chose your career over me.”
I stretched my arm out to him and when he opened his eyes, dropped it. “I’m sorry I didn’t trust you. I mean, I did. I believed you but after so much heartache, I needed validation.”
The space between us vibrated. I yearned to rush into his arms, but we fell so fast and hard the first go around I didn’t want to repeat any mistakes this time. If we had a this time.
“I’m sorry, Noelle. If I’d been stronger, wiser...”
“Older.” I sliced my hand through the air.
“This isn’t on us, Con. I was just thinking about it before you got here.
I was a newbie in the industry, not much more than a gofer.
You’d just started on this incredible road to success.
Baker Street knew you’d never rock the boat.
None of you would, and management took advantage of that.
The way they worked you guys. Criminal.”
“And because of that, I want to find out what happened and why. Don’t you?”
“I do.” I perched on the edge of the bed. “Did you ask Gordon any more questions after he admitted to giving you new phones?”
“I tried. I asked him who was responsible for transferring the data from the old phones to the new and how it was done. I asked him what happened to our old numbers. Were they assigned to other people at Baker Street, or did the numbers go out of order.” Conor crossed his arms and drummed his fingers on his bicep.
“He said he couldn’t remember all that. Then he finally asked why I was grilling him about it. ”
“And you said?”
“Just told him a...friend and I were comparing notes about how things were in the old days. I didn’t want to set off any alarm bells.” Conor sat at a right angle to me on the bed, toward the window as I faced the TV—not looking at each other.
“Would Gordon even care at this point what you thought?”
Conor shifted on the bed. The mattress dipped, and my shoulder bumped against his.
“I told you. He wants in on the Five2Go reunion tour, so he’s gonna play nice with us. He’s gotta know if he admits to sabotaging our relationship, all bets are off. I’d never agree to him managing the reunion tour.”
“You guys would never agree to it, anyway.”
“He doesn’t know that—yet.”
Still not facing him, I nudged his shoulder. “What about Ian? He was the closest to Gordon. Gordon always considered him the CEO of the group. Maybe Gordon would open up to him.”
“Maybe.”
He hadn’t moved his shoulder from mine. In fact, he moved so that it pressed against me.
I pressed back. “Does it really matter, Conor?
He swung his legs around to the end of the bed, sitting beside me fully, clasping his hands.
“I have to know, Nollaig. I have to know if I could’ve done anything differently.
When the band ended, I-I kinda fell apart.
But it wasn’t just the end of the band, the end of an era.
It started when I lost you. I know I could’ve managed all the success better with you by my side.
Without you, the crowds got louder. My head got noisier.
You were the only place that ever felt quiet. "
“You didn’t do anything wrong.” I covered his hands with one of my own, my fingers curled around his fists. “You trusted management to look after you. They betrayed you. They betrayed all of you.”
“I want you to know...” he brushed the tip of his finger across my cheek “...it’s not just about me. When you told me how our breakup affected you, how it destroyed your faith in me—even today—it breaks me.”
I swallowed the lump of tears in my throat. “And you think finding out how and why it happened will fix it? Fix you?”
“There’s only one person who can fix me.” He trailed his finger down my throat, circled the divot there, and pressed it against my breastbone. “But I can’t pick up where we left off if I don’t know the truth about how it ended.”
My pulse stumbled. He wanted to pick up where we left off. Eleven years disappeared in an instant. All I could see were his lips, close enough to kiss, close enough to ruin every sensible thought I'd clung to since this tour began.
Before I knew the truth.
A bang on my door, for the third time that day, made me blink and made Conor draw back. A second kiss snatched away from us faster than we could reclaim our past.
Jermaine’s voice rang out behind the door. “Noelle, if you’re in there, group meeting at the pool in fifteen.”
Conor stood up so abruptly, I listed to the side.
We cocked our heads as Jermaine yelled down the hallway, banging on doors, and then Conor strode to my door. When he reached it, he turned and said, “I’m not giving up, Noelle—not this time.”
When the door closed behind him, I sat and stared at it.
If Conor believed we couldn’t move forward until we knew the truth about what happened, I’d do my part. I still had contact with a few of the admin people at Baker Street. They might be more willing to spill the tea today on standard operating procedure years ago.
With fifteen minutes to spare before the meeting, I grabbed my phone and skimmed through my contacts. I scribbled a few names from my past on the hotel pad of paper and launched Instagram to see who had accounts. Might just be easier to DM people.
I tapped on the search icon, and my For You grid popped up, including a couple of photos of Ashley on stage. I viewed the first one and shoved my glasses into my hair to peer at the caption.
Ashley deserves better
Better than what? I scrolled down to the comments.
Free Ashley
#NotAgainAshley
She’s so strong
Sings thru her pain
We love you Ash
I chewed the inside of my cheek. Why all this online sympathy for Ashley? Had she broken a nail on stage?
I navigated to her profile went to her most recent post—a pensive selfie, Ashley in a messy ponytail, a little smeared mascara. I read the caption aloud.
“Some days are just harder than others.”
What was Ashley complaining about, riding the tour bus? It was just this sort of thing her manager, Orlando warned her about. She shouldn’t be so out of touch. Her average fan would kill to be on that tour bus.
Then I shifted to the comments under the post.
We have your back, girl
Stay strong, Ash
Who does that washed up boybander think he is?
The disrespect is actually wild
They did Ashley so dirty fr
My finger, hovering over my screen, trembled as I paused. What the hell just happened? My eyes widened as I saw the next comment. My stomach dropped, and I had to read it five times to verify I hadn’t imagined it. Then I read it aloud once.
“Seriously fuck Conor Flynn and that Noelle girl.”