Prologue
Maya
Iwas going to die.
God, I hoped I was going to die, because this level of suffering seemed unfair, even considering my normal state of existence. I was in so much pain that it felt like every nerve ending in my body had been set on fire, the scent of blood surrounding me as I laid on broken glass.
What had I done to deserve this? Was there really a demon inside of me? Was that why I was unable to see the lesson that Pastor Malcolm continuously tried to impart?
That had to be it.
I had to do better if I wanted to keep this from happening again.
I had to do better so I wouldn’t ever feel this type of pain again.
Feel as if every element of my body was giving out, one by one, until my breathing was uneven and rough.
I was in a state of perpetual torture under his and my mother’s hands, and I would do anything, give anything, to avoid it happening again.
Yet it seemed no matter what I did, it was wrong.
There were children who didn’t live this way.
I had seen them through the basement window.
Children who got to feel the rain on their skin instead of sitting in the cold puddles that accumulated on the floor.
Children who played games with one another instead of spending days talking to themselves.
Children who were well fed and seemed happy.
I’d thought for so long I’d been happy, that this was happiness.
But recently something had changed. A darkness that I hadn’t recognized before made itself known in my interactions with my mother and Pastor Malcolm, and it opened my eyes to the fact that this wasn’t normal.
I knew that sounded ridiculous considering how they treated me, but for so long I’d assumed that was how parents treated children.
I didn’t think it was anymore. In fact, the more I read those books he’d brought down here, the more I realized that this wasn’t how anyone treated children. At least, they weren’t supposed to.
Unfortunately, I made the mistake today of asking why they treated me differently…and here I was.
My eyes grew heavy as the sky outside opened up in a storm that silenced my sobs. They would only earn me a far worse punishment. My body was broken, and I was starting to wonder if my mind was as well.
No, I think I knew my mind was broken.