11. Lavinia
ELEVEN
LAVINIA
The Titans are playing the Falcons tonight, which means Josh is here. Philly and Boston fans are eagerly watching the game, as well as the sportscasters because Roman is playing against his former team.
“I think I’ve changed my mind,” I say to Jules as we walk into the arena. “Let’s go home and watch the game in our pyjamas.”
“The Lavinia Callahan I know and love is not afraid of anything.”
It’s not fear that’s stopping me. It’s my tender heart. I haven’t had the chance to rebuild my armor.
“Why do men have to ruin everything?”
“If I knew that, I’d be rich,” Jules replies.
At least my entire family is going to be here tonight. We’re watching the game from the family suite because Dad and Mom wanted to come, and then Aunt Constance decided that she wanted to see Roman, so the grandmothers tagged along.
Mom is by my side as soon as we enter the family suite. “How are you doing, sweetie?”
“I’m fine, Mom. It doesn’t have to be a big thing.”
Mom watches me with tender green eyes, wrapping her arm around my waist. “Having your trust broken is always a big deal, Vinny. You have to give it time to heal.”
I swallow the lump in my throat. Like only a parent can, she gets right to the heart of the matter. I’m not in love with Josh. I mourn the time we spent together, the trust I put in him and our relationship.
“How much time?” I ask.
Mom laughs softly. “Oh, honey. No one really knows. The thing about time is, it takes time. You have to be open to healing and asking for help if it gets too much.”
She leads me further into the suite. Dad is talking to one of the player’s wives, but the grandmothers and Aunt Constance are already seated. Jules sits down next to them, already pulling her e-reader out of her bag and resting it on her lap. She’ll start reading once the game starts.
According to her, she lost all interest in hockey as soon as I stopped playing.
I sit down next to Aunt Constance, and she pats my knee.
“Do you think we’re going to see Roman Maddox play again?”
Jules perks up, turning to look at us. “Aunt Constance, do you have a crush on Mr. Maddox?”
Aunt Constance giggles, raising a hand to fluff up her blonde curls. “I just like looking.”
“At men young enough to be her grandsons,” Grandma adds.
“She’s always been jealous that I’m better looking than her,” Aunt Constance whispers.
Is this what Drew and I have to look forward to in our old age? In fifty years, we’ll still be bickering over hockey players and their plays.
“The puck’s about to drop,” Dad says, coming over to join us. He leans down and kisses the top of my head before settling in next to Mom.
Jules’s hand comes down on my knee and she squeezes it gently.
When I look at her, her head is tilted to make it seem like she’s looking down at the rink when really her eyes are focused somewhere to the side of me.
Surreptitiously, I glance at where she’s looking and freeze when I see Jessie Lewis, the pop star Josh is dating, sitting not too far from us.
I look away before she can catch me staring at her.
Someone squeezes my shoulder, and I look over to see Gran. “Don’t think about it, lovebug. A man who does that is not even worth a second of your precious time.”
I smile at her and turn back to watch the game. Their worry is justified, but honestly, I’m not thinking about Josh. I, like everyone else in the arena, am more focused on what’s going to happen when Roman faces his old team on the ice.
From the start, it’s not pretty. The Philadelphia Falcons are on the defensive and the Titans are trying to keep the puck. But they are no match for our team and there’s no one faster than Drew. When your first coach is Hall of Famer Aiden Callahan, you learn a lot.
“That’s my boy,” Dad whispers as Drew shoots the puck at the net and scores us a goal.
The right winger for the Falcons pushes Roman into the boards and that declares their stance on how they want to play the game.
Roman ignores it at first, as does the ref, but it happens a second and third time.
Roman fights back, which leads to him getting a penalty and earns the Falcons a power play.
The Titans fans are outraged for him and start calling the refs names. Roman is clearly not happy by the ref's decision because he almost gets into a fight with the ref.
“Don’t be an idiot,” I growl.
The game goes into overtime and Roman scores us the winning goal. The fans are ecstatic because he’s proved his loyalty to the Titans. The team circles around him.
Once the game is over, and while we’re waiting in the family suite for Drew, I make a quick run to the restroom. When I exit, I come to a stop, my blood turning cold when I see who’s standing outside.
I say standing lightly because they’re actually locked in an embrace, Jessie and Josh kissing each other’s faces off. If it’s intentional, it’s plain cruel. I don’t know why I expect more from a man who left me hours before our wedding. This is high school teenage drama level of petty.
“You know they have hotel rooms now, right?” I say.
They spring apart, looking at me in surprise. I thought seeing Josh again would be painful, but all I feel is an intense nothing. No anger, no sadness, just nothing.
“Lavinia, I didn’t see you there,” Josh says.
“I was in the restroom.” I point my thumb over my shoulder to indicate the door. “Unless you’ve developed x-ray vision, I doubt you would have known I was in there. You’re literally blocking the only way in and out.”
Josh looks down at Jessie, smiling at her softly and squeezing her against his side. “Babe, would you mind giving us a minute?”
Jessie looks at me and has enough sense to be embarrassed. I don’t care about their PDA, and I want to tell her that. I offer her a small smile, which I hope comes across as sincere.
“Sure, I’ll pop into the loo.”
I step out of the doorway, allowing Jessie to go in. The door slowly closes, leaving Josh and me alone in the corridor.
“Did you really have to embarrass her like that?” The faux niceness and lovesick smile he had for Jessie is gone. Oh, there’s the anger I was missing, bubbling inside me like an insidious pest.
“Did you really have to make out in front of the restroom door? Is that how much you value your relationship? Or is that all for me?”
He doesn’t like that, his hands balling into fists and neck muscles straining. His face turns this unattractive puce color.
“I called you for months, I sent messages. You’re the one who never replied,” he snaps.
I scoff. “What did you want me to say? That it’s okay you embarrassed me in front of my family and friends? That it’s okay you were a manchild who couldn’t grow the ovaries to break off our relationship while looking me in the eyes?”
Josh starts laughing, his face devoid of humor.
“See, this is why I couldn’t marry you. You always have to fucking win everything.
It’s not cute, Lavinia. There’s give and take in a relationship, and you decided you were only going to take and not give anything back in return.
Everything always had to be about you. I knew if I married you, I would be settling for a relationship which had no room for me. ”
I. See. Red. My fists are clenched, and I’m ready to lay into him even though I’ve only punched one person in my life, and it was a bully named Kevin who was harassing a new kid in school.
I’m zeroed in on Josh’s nose, my arm is rising up when someone wraps their arm around my waist, and I’m pulled against a hard chest.
I gasp softly as a mouth meets mine in a kiss that’s soft and sweet. I catch sight of one hazel eye, breathing in the scent of wintery cologne or aftershave, and my body relaxes, giving in.
“There you are, Blossom,” Roman whispers. “I was looking for you inside.”
“I got caught up,” I breathe out. Roman’s hands on my waist feel possessive, as do his eyes when they rake over me.
“I wanted to share my victory with you,” he says. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”
He squeezes my waist, his eyes never leaving mine. The world turns blurry at the edges and the only thing I can focus on is Roman.
“I didn’t do anything.”
“You came, and that’s enough. I know how much you like to win, and victory is always sweeter when we get to share it with each other,” Roman says.
My heart warms at his words and I want to kiss him all over again.
Embarrassment tries to slither in through the chinks of my armor and I squash it.
I don’t care that Roman heard Josh. There is nothing for me to be embarrassed about, other than the fact that I was going to marry a man who couldn’t see me win.
“What the fuck, Lavinia?” Josh’s voice is loud and grating, shattering the safety of Roman’s arms. “You’re dating him and you’re angry at me for bringing my girlfriend?”
I’m turned away from him and in my peripheral vision, I see him reach out to grab my arm. I brace myself, but Roman is there before Josh can touch me. He grabs Josh’s hand, twisting it away from my body.
“Be very careful how you speak to my girl. You lost the right to talk to her and touch her when you walked away. You don’t get to blame me for taking my chance and you don’t get to blame her for being happy. Unlike you, I want to give her everything she deserves, everything she asks for, or needs.”
Jaw flexing, Roman leans in towards Josh. “And if you ever try to touch her, I’m going to break your goddamn hand. Are we clear?”
I try so hard to keep my heart inside my body, gritting my teeth and grabbing it with both hands as it tries to escape my chest and land in front of Roman, demanding to be loved—I can be so dramatic sometimes.
I need to have more self-respect for myself.
Roman is helping me out as a friend, and I’m not going to fall for the first person who respects me. What the fuck is that about?
Josh turns red but doesn’t get the chance to say anything more when Jessie opens the restroom door and steps out. Her eyes bounce between me and Roman, down to Roman’s arm around my waist, and back to Josh.
“Everything alright?” She asks.
“Couldn’t be more perfect.” I smile at her, taking Roman’s hand and leading him away.