49. Roman
FORTY-NINE
ROMAN
Lavinia is subdued as we eat dinner. Not that I expect her to be running around and be animated given that she’s still sick. The crying can’t be because she’s sick, can it?
I wish there’s something I can do to make her feel better. Is my touching bothering her? I’m trying not to do it too much, but I can’t fucking not touch her when she’s near me. It’s an obsession.
“Roman, I don’t mean to be a pest,” Jules says, bringing my attention to her. “But can’t you put your phone on silent?”
The three of us look at my phone on the coffee table as it buzzes again. Lavinia’s expression blanks as she swallows her soup, eyes narrowed on my phone. Does she think I’m still getting DMs for hook ups? I probably would be if I hadn’t turned them off.
“It’s the HoBros,” I explain, picking up my phone.
Destiny (Holden)
I knocked on his door, he’s definitely not there.
Crystal (Reese)
Maybe he’s been kidnapped.
Trixie (Ford)
Why would anyone kidnap him?
Crystal (Reese)
For money, obvs.
Destiny (Holden)
Seems too simple. It’d have to be for something like enacting depraved sexual acts.
Crystal (Reese)
You’re a depraved sexual act.
Destiny (Holden)
My dream come true.
There are a lot of messages like that, so I scroll all the way to the bottom, leaving them unread.
Angel (Roman)
On the off chance you’re talking about me, I haven’t been kidnapped.
Crystal (Reese)
He’s alive!!
Trixie (Ford)
Told you he wasn’t kidnapped.
Crystal (Reese)
He could be! Maybe the kidnapper is using his phone to distract us!
Angel (Roman)
I’m in New York. With Lavinia.
Sassy (Drew)
Hang on while I warn my sister about your sick obsession with her.
Angel (Roman)
Don’t worry. She knows.
Under the blanket, I squeeze Lavinia’s thigh, and she makes a humming noise of pleasure. I put my phone on do not disturb and set it aside.
“I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard you correctly. It’s the what?” Jules leans forward in the chair, her focus on me instead of the movie we’re watching.
“The HoBros.”
She looks at Lavinia, who’s covered head to toe in a blanket, holding a soup bowl in one hand. I was trying to feed her and got told off because it made her feel like an invalid. “Does this make sense to you?”
“It’s the team,” I explain.
Lavinia gasps lightly, which devolves into coughing. Quickly, I reach for her water and bring the glass up to her mouth, helping her take small sips.
“You’ve been talking to the boys, and you didn’t tell me? Do you even want to be married?”
I laugh it off, even though there’s a damn good reason I didn’t tell her.
Lavinia’s making more content than she did when she was with Josh and any idiot can see she’s back to being the confident woman who won Olympic medals.
If the HoBros have accepted me, that means our bargain is over. Doesn’t it?
Lavinia and I don’t need to stay married if we both got what we wanted out of this relationship. What unhinged behaviour will I have to lower myself to make her stay? It will have to be truly devious.
“I was going to tell you when I saw you before I found out you’re sick,” I say.
“A likely excuse,” she accuses, as she suspiciously sips her soup.
“It’s not an excuse. I knew you’d be excited, and I wanted to share the news in person.”
She hums, still suspicious, but her cheeks color the sweetest pink.
It adds some color to her otherwise pale pallor.
I’ve never been so worried in my life as I am right now and all because of the common flu.
It terrifies me to think of all the things that can steal Lavinia from me and there’s nothing I’ll be able to do about it.
This obsession suddenly feels like a sickness, one that will kill me if I no longer have the object of my obsession.
I think back to all those years when I was away from her, when I forced myself to ignore her, and I suddenly miss that idiot.
Because he thought he’d conquered his obsession, and he was content.
Lavinia snuggles into my side, resting her head on my shoulder and I kiss the top of her head. I can’t say I deserve her. I do know that no one else will try harder to deserve her than I will.
“You didn’t have to cancel your plans to come here.” She tilts her head back to look at me and I admire the constellation of freckles across her nose and cheeks.
“What plans?” I scoff.
“You have a very exciting life.”
“I have the social life of what Hollywood considers to be a lonely woman,” I say. “I go to work, I come home, I hang out with my cats, and my only friend is a sixty-year-old who has a better social life than I do.”
Laughing sleepily, Lavinia wraps her arms around me, resting her head on my chest. “Well, you have us now.”
“And the HoBros,” Jules adds with a giggle.
“Two women who never leave the house, and a bunch of hockey players who plan dinner parties. How will I ever keep up with you all?”
Lavinia pinches me or attempts to, at least. There isn’t anything for her to grab on to. “Be nice or we won’t invite you to our parties.”
I’m joking, but in all seriousness, I do have to wonder how I’m going to keep up with them all. They’re all so…social. The guys send hundreds of texts back and forth in an hour.
Meanwhile, I can’t even think of anything to say. I don’t know the first thing about having friends. It makes me irrationally angry with my parents because the only thing they taught me about people is how to ignore them and pretend they don’t exist even while they’re two feet away from you.
Lavinia’s fingers brush against my stomach and I look down at her. “We’ll do it together.” Her words are said on a low breath, only for me.
She’s never going to let me be alone, I know that because that’s who Lavinia is.
“Should we get more hot chocolate?” Jules asks. She’s swung up her legs over the arms of the chair, a blanket pulled all the way up to her chin.
“Let me guess, by we you mean me?” I confirm.
“You’re the man of the house,” Lavinia says. “It’s literally your job to provide.”
“What if I don’t want to let you go?”
“He’s such a simp,” Jules groans. “Where did you find him?”
“You’re the one who’d insisted I run away with him,” Lavinia laughs. This is the first I’m hearing of this. I should buy Jules a gift for all her hard work in getting Lavinia to me.
“Yes, I’m sure you’re regretting all the orgasms that happened because of it.”
Lavinia stretches out like a cat. “Those have been very nice.”
“Nice?” I growl in her ear.
She pats my chest. “You work very hard, sweetie.”
I let it go because she’s sick.
“Two hot chocolates coming up,” I say. Kissing her head, I grab a pillow and set it under her cheek when I get up. I tuck the blanket around her, brushing her hair off her forehead. “Do you need anything else?”
Slowly, she nods, looking at me with sleepy green eyes.
“What do you need? Something to eat?”
“A kiss, please.”
Huffing a laugh, I press my lips to hers in a soft kiss. “I love it when you say please,” I whisper in her ear.
Lavinia burrows deeper into the blankets as I stand to make hot chocolate. She giggles over something Jules says that’s too low for me to hear. The sound of her laughter warms me from the inside out, spreading through me like an iridescent glow.
I know that no matter what happens, there’s nothing I won’t do to keep Lavinia.